My daughter saw me standing in the backyard, staring off into space. I felt her small presence beside me as she lifted up her hand and slid it into mine. She said, “Mommy? Are you ever going to smile again?” Seems like a lifetime ago.
It doesn’t seem real when I think of it now, but I remember her voice like it was yesterday. My daughter, at a young age, knew the depths of my sadness. She brought it to my attention like, the secret is now out. I didn’t smile anymore and hadn’t even noticed. She knew so now my time was up.
I got sober and found out I was pregnant. My daughter is what we call a sobriety baby. My marriage was over from what the alcohol had done, but God gave me a gift for giving Him my addiction. Being pregnant that first year was so good for me. I clung to the women and the men left me alone.
I stayed in that marriage for almost 25 years, hoping it would work. When you’re drunk the day you get married and get sober 12 years into it, chances are you’re gonna change. Just like my drinking, I had to hit bottom on the happiness meter too. When other people notice how sad you are, it’s bad. Don’t wait. It’s time to do something.
Barbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 15 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a Let It Go Coach and helping others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is working on her first book. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com