I wrote this two weeks ago from today, and trashed it.
God wants me to share this in hopes of helping others. It’s not about me and what I’m going through. It’s about the journey and the miracle in store. We see what’s in front of us, but the journey is where it can all change.
Unpacking my suitcase this morning, I saw these.
Why is there a stack of doctors cards from a cancer center? Oh yeah…They say that’s me.
If you are lost on this journey, you can pick up the beginning here.
On Tuesday, March 22nd, I sat in a little room, waiting for the doctor to walk in. The journey so far has been about the waiting. It was a huge test to keep me waiting for an hour, but he knew what he was doing. He walked in, introduced himself, sat down and said, “So Barbara, what brings you here to see me today?”
Later on I realized, he wanted to see if I could say it.
I don’t recall my exact words, but they were calmly coming out of my mouth something like this. I told him about the mammogram; the biopsy, then the call from my doctor using the ‘C’ word, and rushing me to see him. So, basically, they are telling me I have a mass in my breast, the size of a golf ball. It’s cancer, and I want it gone. What’s the plan?
Let me just stop and say….When God gives you a season of calmness and quiet…Take it!
Don’t question it. Enjoy it, because I had that, and it prepares you for the next season.
A sea of phone calls coming in daily. My phone has rang more in the past three weeks, than it has in the past three years. God has it all planned and is opening every door before me.
Chemo is the plan. We start there he says. I’m more worried about the port they are going to stick under my skin, right above my breast, than the actual Chemo. I’ve always been in perfect health. I’ve been in the hospital twice, and that was for having babies. God has always protected me and He’s not going to stop now. My part is to keep moving forward.
As we ponder Easter week, what I am going through is nothing compared to what Jesus did.
Thank you Jesus for everything you did for us, and continue to do for us, while we wait.