I woke up this morning pondering how different my life is today, compared to a few years ago. Why is it so beautiful now? Why was it so miserable before? Here is what came to mind.
I believe we all have a beautiful life, filled with God’s goodness. Now, whether or not we can see it, is the question. I couldn’t see mine. The marriage I was in for 25 years, had taken a sharp turn after 15 years. I was sober. By taking the drink away, I was able to unbecome. Staying for 10 more years was a struggle between where I was, and where I knew I could be.
Many of you have asked about the book I am writing. This is what it will be about. How to have a beautiful life. It took me until I was 50 to figure this out, so hopefully, some of you younger readers can get a clue quick. You already have a beautiful life. It’s just covered up.
Change your thinking and change your life. I thought I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. Staying in a marriage for the sake of the children. Well…hello…When your kids know you are miserable, and watch you live in sadness, does that give them a spectacular life? No.
I’ve listened to a lot of motivational CD’s over my lifetime. One day, some things I had heard over the years came to the forefront of my mind. Tony Robbins was one of them.
Tony said, “Get disturbed. You’re not going to stand it any longer”
“What disturbs you in your life?”
“What are you going to do about it today?”
I wasn’t disturbed anymore, even though my life was very disturbing! We become complacent, like it’s okay to live with the hand we are dealt. Well, I’m here to tell you, it’s not okay. I pondered if this was the very best God had planned for me. Where was God?
Oh, He was there, watching and waiting. This was not the life He had planned. This was the life I had created. Then Joyce Meyer’s words came to mind, right after Tony’s. I had heard on one of her CD’s, “Make a decision, so God can get in line and help you.” That was all I needed to hear. I needed to let my disturbing life actually disturb me, and make a decision.
A Beautiful Soul sent me this Meme this morning. Thank you Danielle. It reminded me of the book, and being willing to admit what I went through to uncover the beauty in my life. It wasn’t pretty, but digging through the mess allows space for the beauty to breakthrough.
Get disturbed, and make a decision.
I had stopped getting angry. My husband was so angry about everything, you could feel it a mile away. So, I stayed calm because anger fuels more anger. He was miserable too, but didn’t know how to fix it. I did us both a favor the day I left even though he didn’t see it at first. Sometimes things do have to fall apart completely, so they can fall back together.
I believe we both have a beautiful life today, even though we’re apart. When Tony asked, “What disturbs you in your life?”, it was my whole life. I had to blow it up, and start all over again. It felt like I had lost everything that made life worth living, but I was still standing there, so, what was it time to do? Get disturbed, make a decision, and light the fuses.
Barbara is a God follower, a Writer, and Mom to her 17-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Part of her mission is to show people they can start over at 50. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com