I saw how much control I have over my life when I can’t even get my little dog to go outside and pee. It’s raining here, so when I open the door, he just looks outside, and then looks at me like, “Woman? Can you not see the sky is falling?!?” He’s sitting in his bed with his legs crossed.

Tea it is. I fixed a piping hot assortment of tea, in my press, and here I am.

My daughter is strumming her guitar in the next room, and singing along with Ed Sheeran, as she learns one of his new songs. His new album was released yesterday, but since we pre-ordered the album, she was able to download some of his songs beforehand. She is learning to play this one entitled, How Would You Feel, and it turns my heart into mush.

It’s been an emotion filled week, and Ed’s new album is not helping any!!!

In my last post, you will note that my daughter dyed my hair. She placed this special shampoo in the shower for me to use. It would over time brighten the color, and take some of the brassiness away. Reading the directions on the back of the bottle, I appreciated the words ‘Repeat if Desired’. I recalled what I had just written, and asked her to try it again.

The color I have now, is about halfway to the point of this pic. My daughter saw that my hair was not taking in enough bleach lastnight, and asked if she could put on more. I said, ‘No.’ You know why? I got scared. Did I want that drastic of a change?

I like change, but I like to have breath in between. I saw a huge change in my hair color this morning, and I liked it. You can always add more of something, but it’s difficult to scrape that away. I played it safe, but now I’m ready to go for more.

I desire a certain result, or closer to it anyways, so bring on the bleach!. The worst thing that could happen is all my hair falls out, but I’ve been bald thanks to Chemo, so that doesn’t scare me. What scares me more, is not chasing after my desire.