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Today, I gave my daughter the day off from being my daughter.
She harbors these ‘people pleasing’ abilities that will wear off over time. Her father’s hectic life is adding stress to hers, but he needs her more than I do right now. Not wanting to add to an already stressful situation, I encouraged her not to come home today as planned. She was grateful.
It’s my favorite time of day to sit in the middle of the bed. I grabbed one of my favorite platters, and filled it with Gouda, Organic cream cheese with Raspberry Chipotle sauce, Rosemary crackers, and black seedless grapes. The jury is still out whether this is a snack, or an early dinner.
I went to an AA meeting at noon. I was in the midst of cleaning house, and didn’t mind stopping to go, if God saw fit. Walking through the motions of getting ready, I told God, “If you really want me to go, everything will fall into place seamlessly.” At 11:40, I was ready to walk out the door.
Walking into the meeting, I noticed a young lady sitting there that I haven’t seen before. She had made a similar deal with God.
“Okay God, If you want me to go to this meeting, someone will walk in that I need to see.”
Long story short, she asked me to be her temporary sponsor.
This is the second woman in the past 30 days that God has placed in my path to sponsor. I have no clue how to be a sponsor, but I know how to stay sober, and I can coach.
I sat down yesterday, and came across this page in SC Lourie’s new journal. It sums up precisely where I am today.
The photo may be hard to read. Here is what it says.
“I had to stop waiting. Waiting to be that person I always hoped I would become. Waiting for that person to rescue me. Waiting until I felt ready. Waiting until I had healed. Waiting until I got things right. Waiting until I was seen, noticed, acknowledged, or remembered. Waiting for that ultimate day somewhere in the future that would change everything. Soon after, I realised something. You are either waiting, or you are living. I choose to live. To end the wait.” SC Lourie