I Need To

Earlier this week while writing my Morning Pages, I noticed the final paragraph was filled with these three words, I need to. There’s a smallish list of things I’ve been setting aside that my heart wants to do.

I need to write some letters to friends, and have been wanting to for weeks. I need to fill out an application for free parking at the lake for my truck, and hopefully have my paddleboard in tow. My board hasn’t been dropped into the water all year. I need to keep calling around about a new windshield for my truck that was hit by a rock and cracked. Things like that.

This month I’ve been looking at commitments, and diving deeper into them. It really made me take a look at what I’m committed to and the quality time I give those commitments. I need to recommit to dating because right now it feels like men are making an appointment to see me. My two jobs are taking all of my commitment, but that’s not good for the mind, body, or spirit in the long run. We need to carve out time for what feeds our hearts.

That night I was reading my Magnolia magazine during a huge thunderstorm. What began as a distraction from the thunder and torrential rain became just what I needed. I didn’t realize this month’s issue was focused on commitment, until I read what’s posted below by Joanna Gaines. This year, I’ve learned to have commitments without projecting any particular outcome and it’s a very freeing experience to just remain committed, no matter what.

“So, as I sit here now, thinking about the pursuits and the people I’m committed to, I’m not worrying about outcomes, or how they should look through the lens of a culture that so highly values results. Because maybe the true purpose of being devoted to something isn’t found in how it ends, but in the way it takes shape~~or even ends up shaping us~~along the way.” ~Joanna Gaines.

So, my lovelies, this weekend I’m going to find some stillness to hear my heart and do what it says I need to.


10 thoughts on “I Need To

  1. Who was it that said, “It’s about the journey, not the destination”? (or something like that.) Yeah, we are all very goal-directed in this country. Maybe that’s the beauty of reading, or writing, or even watching TV – we’re just being and enjoying without having to have accomplished something at the end.
    BTW, just a thought – a pretty pad for your to-do list might liberate you in your journal. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I really like this perspective. Covid knocked me slightly off course where commitment is concerned, and it’s made me a little gun-shy about making promises to myself, for fear of letting myself down. But what a great idea to make a commitment without stressing over an outcome. Very liberating! Thanks for this. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I like the idea of commitment without a defined outcome. I’ve been thinking along the lines of fulfillment. I can fill my days with to-dos that are necessary but not fulfilling. What can I make time to do that will actually make me feel fulfilled. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

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