Three weeks ago, I reactivated my Bumble dating app, and it was similar to flipping a switch on a revolving door of men. There’s so many men named Michael, I had to start categorizing them by the town they live in. There’s a few things I’ve noticed at this stage of my life in finding the right one.
- There’s no rush. The tricky part is finding a human not in a rush.
- I’m still willing to drive the distance, but under an hour is sweet.
- Someone who loves their life, but would like for you to join in.
- My prayer before each date is, “Keep my ears open and mouth shut.”
- Laugh your asses off together, and in the same moment.
The hug is the litmus test, and it shouldn’t be quick. It’s when you’re willing to hold each other as long as possible, before it becomes awkward. Where you simply relax in each others arms, and breathe it in. That’s a hug.
Looking back at the men I’ve hugged there was one thing I always did near the end. For some reason, my hand would automatically pat him on the back. It was an odd feeling, and the men didn’t appreciate it, but eventually I’ll hug someone, and my hand won’t automatically pat him on the back.
That will be a good sign.
P.S. If you haven’t met Michelle GD, you need to. She’s a blogger here at WordPress and she hosts a monthly workshop entitled, ‘The Quiet Page.’
Letitgocoach 
Yeah, that pat kind of puts them in the friend zone.Or somewhere other than possible boyfriend zone. You’ll know ….
BTW, and hoping this wouldn’t crush your vibe, if you want to read an outstanding thriller about online dating, jump into “Last Girl Ghosted”. 🙂
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I like your writing because it is genuine, honest and well shared. From my perspective I have always been a hugger and hug some men friends as well as women. In recent years I have become concerned I was putting pressure on people so I don’t initiate hugs with ladies now but am happy to respond when they do. One friend hugs me a long time and I don’t mind as I know that’s her way and now I see it differently thanks to you. We are both happily married to our spouses and there is no concern that either her or I will misinterpret the hug which makes the hug comfortable for me albeit I wonder sometimes what others think and I live in a small town. I have to just let that go as I know my friends who know me or her will understand and why worry about strangers?
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You are absolutely right. It’s something special between the two of you. It’s okay to become the topic of small town talk, when you know the truth. That’s all that matters. Thank you for your kindness.
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even outside of dating app guys, since i have recently become single just the sheer flood of random men requesting and pm’ing me on facebook is insane. Before i realized what was going on, i accepted a few thinking to sell art. I was horridly disappointed at the pressure and outright rudeness of the males species . I chatted with one or two and a week or so in they started getting peeved that i wouldn’t meet with them and start a relationship right away!! even after i explained my break up was barely a month fresh and i wasn’t ready. i just wanted friends if anything..i have given up for awhile. I cannot imagine a dating app. I did that for 2 weeks a few years back and deleted it..literally hundreds to comb through and very few acceptable ones.. I pray u have much better luck!!
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You’ve inspired me lovely! I’ll write a post on how I use the apps, because there is a way to do this without being overwhelmed. You are in control of what you’re looking for and the way you’re treated. Don’t use Facebook dating. All the trolls live there. The first thing that helped me is to get a clear vision of who I’m looking for. If you’re just looking for a friend, the app I use has that option, so men shouldn’t be contacting your for more than friendship. Of course some will, but that’s a quick and easy ‘no’. Thank you for sharing. 💖
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excellent..looking forward!
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I have a grand daughter who met a very nice man on a dating site. It looked like it was going to go somewhere but his heart was not there yet. She broke it off when she realized that she was more serious than him. Oh, the tears she shed, but God has given her peace as she cries and knows she did the right thing.
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It’s alright to cry after doing the right thing. I pray for God to continue healing her heart. 🙏
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Hi Barb,
Sending you good vibes and good wishes. May the Bumble experience be a good one!
I love your prayer: “Keep my ears open and mouth shut.” I need that not only on dates but in life.
Blessings!
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Hey Ana! It’s been an adventure! Hahaha Listening is a rewarding practice in so many ways. Thank you and many blessings to you!
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Please don’t keep your mouth shut. Your voice if valid.🤍
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In the beginning, I listen more than talk. If you can be still and listen, the other person will tell you everything you need to know. I speak when needed lovely. 🤗
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I should have known you had a plan. 🤍
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This time my darling, I’m following the master plan. 😉
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Keeping my fingers crossed for you
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Thank you, Sheree! 💖
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You’re very welcome
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