No Regrets

Just because we have them, doesn’t mean we have to keep them. The dictionary describes it as: Regret is a negative conscious and emotional reaction to personal past acts and behaviors. Regret is often expressed by the term “sorry.” That is encouraging to me because it reveals itself as consciousness and emotion, which we have control over. It also places it in the past, which we can choose not to live in anymore.

Some of you know, I spent a third of my life drowning in alcoholism. Early in my sobriety, I told a friend that I regretted all the years I lost to drinking, and wish I had them back. She quickly told me, “God was with you that whole time. Watching over you, protecting you, and allowing that experience to form you into the person you are today.” It’s true, and I wouldn’t have met her. One of my most treasured friends.

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The most important thing to know is….We’re not alone. There are people out there who have done the same stupid things we did, if not worse, and are alive to tell about it. If you want to hear some, go sit in an AA meeting with a lot of newcomers. This is called a ‘Beginners’ meeting, and they usually have just a few hours sober. They are full of regret, and share snippets of things they did drunk, and are trying to accept sober. What’s interesting is almost everyone in the room will be nodding their head in agreement as their story unfolds. We can relate to their pain because we did something similar, if not the exact same thing!

I saw a quote this week that grieved me. “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”

Do you know who said it? The late, great Robin Williams. How can a man who brought so much joy to millions of people, live in darkness? I’m guessing he kept it hidden from the world, and it took his life. For me, that would be the ultimate Regret.

Genie…You are now free.

 

Gopher It!

My daughter and I have this thing we do. When she shares a great idea, I look at her and say, “Gopher it”! She does the same for me, creating a funny gopher imitation to drive the point home. It simply means, “Go For It”.

We are limited by our own thinking, so it’s best to leave my life alone and give it to God. “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.” I’ve seen this verse come to pass in my life many a time. When I think I have a good idea, and put it into play, it usually serves as a springboard into what God has in store. My idea is not really my idea. It’s better than I could have thought of own my own, and God uses that to put me on the path He has for me.

I have a sign hanging in my office that says, “Good things happen to those who go for it!”

What’s holding you back? Feel free to contact me if I can be of service.

 

Is Your Mind An #OMGFest?

Went to one of the best concerts ever last night with my daughter, and we’ve been to quite a few! It was a beautiful venue, and the weather was perfect, for Texas. You know me, I’m going to observe the crowd, and I saw so many levels of overwhelm. I call these…’OMG Moments’.

My daughter tweeted after the show, “OMGtour is called what it is because that’s all you say after meeting…..”, and tagged all the artists she met. How many OMG Moments do you have during a day or week?

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Here at Letting Go, we teach how to quiet your mind and think thoughts you choose to think. Experts estimate that the mind thinks between 60,000 – 80,000 thoughts a day. That’s an average of 2500 – 3,300 thoughts per hour. What are you thinking?

Thoughts consist of sentences. Sentences consist of words. Words are part of language. The mind uses language, words or pictures to describe or define reality. This means that anytime you hear language or are seeing pictures you know that you are in your mind. At the concert, there were signs everywhere that said, OMG, so you can imagine the extreme energy that was felt.

The young girls were overwhelmed with emotion at meeting and seeing their favorite artists. Some to the point of breaking down and crying. I ran into a Mom, who told me, “This is all so overwhelming to me!” The first step is accepting what you see or hear without judgment, that if you’re hearing language or seeing pictures, you are in the mind. I wanted to tell her, “Relax, and enjoy the present moment. It will be gone in a second.” It made my heart hurt that she was so overwhelmed with something I found to be fabulous! This moment for me was about listening and being quiet. lifeoverwhelm

There are situations you will find yourself in that will require the least to the greatest amount of involvement. There are times you are there to simply witness what is happening. There are other times you are called to act. There are times you will be called to pay attention and at the perfect moment, you will be called to add your wisdom.

Remember, the mind is aware and it wants to remain in charge. The mind is scared of being peaceful for in the state of peace the mind has no role. This is when breathing exercises are a must. By taking deep breaths, and paying close attention to your breathing, your mind stops. You cannot breathe deep and slowly and think at the same time. Try to be in the being state as much as possible…being present, being grounded, being connected or being aware. We often tell our clients, “You don’t have to think as much as you think you need to think.” The bottom line is….How free do you want to be?

When You’re Ready

One of my Favorite Letting Go Lessons is Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships. It’s trying enough letting go of these people, but what do we do when they come back? It’s simple, but not always easy. Here are some simple steps.

1. Pick a questionable relationship in your life. One that does not align with your definition of health and well being.
2. Close your eyes, breathe and be calm.
3. Feel the presence of this person you have identified as questionable. Notice how your body responds to their presence. Take the time to get clear upon the effect they have upon you.
4. Then, answer the following questions:

a. Does this relationship make you feel balanced?
b. In what way does this relationship physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually benefit you?
c. What is the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual cost of this relationship? (I keep a journal beside me to write my answers in)

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Lastly, if there are relationships, which you know to be extremely unhealthy for you, openly listen to your Higher Power. Ask for clarity, strength and courage. If the truth is, it’s time to avoid further harm to your spiritual, emotional, mental and physical well being, then rest with that feeling until you are ready to act.

I have witnessed people openly tell the person, “I’m letting you go”. and I’ve seen them detach allowing the person to disappear. You do what’s best for you and your well-being. By you becoming a stronger, more loving person, they will most likely show up again, no matter how you let go. Verbally or quietly.

Maybe by then, you both have changed enough that it can be healthy. I leave you with two of my favorite quotes by Joyce Meyer.

“Don’t be upset about losing something. It might be putting you in the place you should have been in to begin with.” and “Sometimes God will take something away to straighten you out. He’ll give it back when you’re ready”.

Just Breathe

It’s a peaceful evening. Sitting at my desk overlooking the pond, and gazing at the graceful beauty of a large, white Egret. He visits quite often, and I love to watch him. My daughter and I call it ‘Stork’.

When we first moved here, I was walking out the door asking God if this is where He really wanted me? A ginormous grey-blue Egret swooped down and landed by the edge of the pond. He was so beautiful, and majestic, just standing there large and in charge.  I took it as a sign that I was right where I needed to be.

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Have you ever had the feeling that everything in your life is lining up and running smoothly? This doesn’t happen all the time, so when it happens, it’s noticed immediately.

My favorite type of exercise is Yoga. I heard of a Yoga studio a couple of towns over, and drove there to participate in a class. My daughter and I walked in and fell in love with the atmosphere immediately. It was dimly lit, with soothing music, candles that infused the entire space with smell goodness, and refreshingly cool.

A space like this awakens all your senses, and your body says, “Love!” The instructor was a young lady with the most soothing voice. Living in a small town, we drive 20 minutes just see civilization, so these classes are a good 45 minutes away. I must mention, the morning after the first class, my body jumped out of bed feeling alive! I didn’t lay there and count the sore muscles from the weight machines. No…My body threw me out of bed ready to embrace the day!

That is my heart’s desire. The Letting Go Workshops taught me breathing exercises that I utilize each week. I had forgotten how good it feels to add movement to the breathing. You may be shaking your head thinking I’m a little off to drive that far for a Yoga class. I have to drive into town anyway, so I schedule my errands to be done the same day as class. This pushes me to get my errands done, and the Yoga is my reward.

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I have gone to great lengths this past year to clear my mind and open my heart. Realizing that I only have one body, it takes me everywhere, so I need to take care of it.

How far will you go to feel great?

When mind, body and spirit are aligned, life is sweet.

Change From Within

This week has been a week of growth. What is that other word for growth? Oh yea…Change. Gearing up to host a Letting Go Workshop makes me reminiscent of the first time I went through one. Going through my lessons from a year ago, it’s encouraging and comforting to see continuous growth.

My life has changed into a life of beauty and wonder. The lessons in the Letting Go Project equipped me with tools to continue to use when needed. One of the many gifts it gave me was feeling the change start to happen from within. It’s an unsettling feeling at first, but if you sit with it long enough, revelation will appear. I’m grateful that I can feel change stirring from within, and let it flow out as a beacon of light upon the path God has in store.

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It’s always better when change happens from within to move outward into your life, versus life hitting you from outside and being forced to make changes within. That’s not a good feeling. It causes stress and uncertainty. Once I was at peace with myself, and began to like the person I was becoming, my life began changing accordingly. I didn’t need others to feel good about myself, or depend on them for goodness in my life. Change from within.

The Happiness Meter

What makes you happy? Do things, or people make you happy? Daily lesson…Happiness comes from within.

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It’s difficult to not allow outside influences steal my joy. Sitting in the present moment, and feeling a little off about something not yet within sight. Calming the mind and spirit, and breathing deep to allow time for clarity. Once it’s within view, whether it’s a comment someone made, or an action that was puzzling, releasing it out of the present moment will take away it’s power.

By diffusing the power in any situation, you will not be prompted to react. Breathe through the disturbance and if a response is needed, logically do so. It is always more effective to ‘respond’ verses react. Another diffusion of power.

If there is anything in your life that you could lose…don’t depend on it to bring you happiness. That’s pretty simple. I wish someone would have pounded that through my head when I was in my 20’s. When things are going well, it’s easy to be happy. It’s when things are not going according to plan that our happiness is tested.

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If you don’t get anything else out of my Blog, please get this. You are not responsible for other people’s happiness! You cannot make someone happy. If I see someone struggling with their happiness meter, I can show them love. Help redirect their thoughts to find the path they lost. If happiness is at a low-level, it’s usually because I’ve stepped off the path God has for me, but He always redirects.

Check in each day with the happiness meter.

Know Who You Are

This week…I ran myself through a 24 hour detox. This was not on my list of things to do but I’m grateful it happened!

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My daughter and I joined a gym and started working out at least 4 days a week. Yesterday, I didn’t have the amount of energy I desired, so into the kitchen I went for experimentation. I discovered a liquid nutritional product that I used to take everyday. Since joining the gym, I had focused on protein and other supplements, and hadn’t taken in it a while. This product reaches you at a cellular level, so I poured a glass and drank it.

A couple of hours later, I poured another tall glass, and drank that too. My daughter and I went out to run some errands and within an hour, every vein in my body was screaming! I started feeling achy all over and having cold chills. We made it back to the house, and I curled up in my favorite chair, with a blanket. My body was taking turns breaking out in cold chills and heating up. The Letting Go Workshops taught me to listen to my body and give it time to heal itself. Lesson Three has you write this out:

My body is a master of healing itself. I now commit to giving my body the time and space it needs to heal each day. I now trust my body to heal.

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Curled up in the chair, I did a recount of what I did that day that was different. Between working out and drinking the large amount of additional supplements, I had stirred up all the toxins in my body! This reminded me so much of The Letting Go Project I went through. My body was pushing all the toxins through every pore, and the lessons I did each week did something similar. I was able to stir up everything that wasn’t ‘adding’ to my life and physically and mentally release them!

Upon completion of The Letting Go Project, I had a new mind and a new life free from toxins. Just like after the detox, my body seems new and lighter. I encourage you to contact me today if you’re ready to detox your life. I’ll leave one of my favorite quotes for you to ponder:

Do the things you used to talk about doing but never did. Know when to let go and when to hold on tight. Stop rushing. Don’t be intimidated to say it like it is. Stop apologizing all the time. Learn to say no, so your yes has some oomph. Spend time with the friends who lift you up, and cut loose the ones who bring you down. Stop giving your power away. Be more concerned with being interested than being interesting. Be old enough to appreciate your freedom, and young enough to enjoy it. Finally know who you are. -Kristin Armstrong

She’s Scary Beautiful

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I love my daughter Bailey. I am so proud of who she is, and who she’ll become. You see….I can boast about this beautiful girl because none of the credit goes to me. When I look at her, I see everything good thing, made by the hand of our Almighty God!

Bailey is musical and loves photography. The girl who people think should be in front of the camera, stands humbly behind it. She has recently become passionate about photographing concerts. At the young age, of almost 15, she steps out in faith and contacts press managers of her fave boy bands and artists. Depending on God to open the right doors to the concert He wants her to shoot. Last night, she got more than she imagined at the Tyler Ward concert in Austin, TX. She was there to shoot his show, but was blessed beyond measure.

Girls try to look beautiful. If they only knew to wash off the makeup, put some clothes on that cover private parts, and let the light shine from within. You can BE beautiful without even trying.  Bailey doesn’t know she’s beautiful. Take that and her walking around filled with the Holy Spirit…she’s scary beautiful. Guys her age just stare at her. They don’t have the time spent on earth to have achieved a successful relationship, so they don’t even approach. If they do approach, they find out rather quickly she’s very mature for her age, and they walk away. Guys age 18 to 25 stare at her too! They are trying to gauge if she’s 16 or 18, and sometimes approach. Bailey knows once they find out her age, they don’t walk, they run.

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The post above is one of her fave sayings. Another one she lives by is from Max Lucado. “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God, that a man has to seek Him, to find her.” With a literal handful of really true friends, she goes about her day seeking God and His plan for her life. The stares have started to take a toll on her this year. Little Miss Scary Beautiful cannot fathom why people won’t approach her, or even be kind. Then God sends someone with wisdom, right when she needs it, to pour it on her.

Someone reached his arm around her last night at the concert and said, “You are so beautiful! You are just so beautiful! Now…you wanna selfie?” She stood there, mouth hanging open in utter disbelief! It was Tyler Ward saying this to her. The look on her face in those selfies are priceless. She will never forget that moment. God sent someone over to grab her and tell her what He knew all along.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Thank you God.

Beauty and Grace

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As I was standing on the pier this morning, I spotted the largest duck I’d ever seen on the far end of the pond. At first, I wondered if it was a black swan because of it’s size. It would dive under the water, swim a distance, and come up with a fish in its beak. I asked God to bring it close enough so I could get a good look at it, and a pic. That instant…it popped up right beside the pier so close to me, that I was able to snap the one above.  I just watched in awe of the duck, and how quickly and simply God can give us what we ask.
I watched it dive under water, and make its way toward the far end of the pond again. Then it raised up into the air and flew at a low-level. It’s wings were wet, so it was going to take some time to reach altitude. He flew right toward me, adjusted his speed and flew right over my head! He started circling the pond, drying his wings and with each lap gaining altitude. Each lap, I was able to stand with my face pointed toward the sky, opening my eyes at just the right moment to capture his beauty and grace.
I went to the pier, like a lot of mornings, to praise and worship God, and to talk with Him about what was on my mind. With my coaching business, I had thought that I was taking a huge step of faith out of the boat. To walk on the water, no matter how rough it got because He would be there. Today He showed me to dive under the water and go deeper. If I started to feel weighed down, shake the excess off until I could fly.
To be a good Coach, I must first be the student.