A Better Life, Letting Go, Moving On

Time and Talents

worship-in-the-overflow-acrylic-painting-21570385
Worship in the Overflow 

“What am I doing?”, was my thought this morning. Sitting down with some coffee, I pulled up my WordPress site to read some Blogs I follow. I chose “Minimalist Grandma.” first.

The woman behind the Blog is named Jill. We met on WordPress, and have a lot in common. My best friend during childhood was named Jill. She is not that Jill, but it’s easy to remember her name, which is usually a challenge for me. Jill and I have simplified our lives to the point that we now have time, along with  passion, and purpose to pour into others.

In Jill’s Blog, she dove right into the subject by saying, “I am now making decisions about my time and talents. What do I keep? What do I discard?” This is letting go at it’s finest!

Time and talents. Walking through a Breast Cancer Journey last year proved time is precious. It should not be wasted, because an unlimited amount is not promised. On talents…we are all given at least one gift. With practice, that one gift will cause an offspring of other gifts. Jill’s Blog revealed a new twist on something I have always believed to be true.

Give from overflow_edited-1

I have always given from my overflow, but Jill writes, “It seems like we should be giving out of our abundance, but I find that I give best and most from my lack.” BOOM!

A friend of mine just posted on Facebook, “The more love you give away, the more love you will have.” My favorite thing to do is give love away, but there are mornings I wake up running low on love. Maybe I give too much away, and don’t save enough for myself? Too much time spent giving of our gifts, and talents, without balance, leaves me depleted.

Maybe that is why I have free time from giving it away.

If what we give, is what we receive, then I want to find out what I lack, so I can give that. Looking over my life there is no obvious lack, so today I will ‘dig deeper.’ What do I lack?

give

If it’s already in ‘lack mode’, it shouldn’t be given away at this time. There needs to be time spent nurturing it, so it will grow. Someone once told me I lack commitment. Two years later, I let the man go who told me that, so maybe it’s true. Being in three serious realtionships over the past 30 years, I have been the one who leaves. Do I lack commitment?

You can read Jill’s complete post by clicking here. Thank you Minimalist Grandma for making me think. That is something there is no lack of, but I’m on a jouney to see what is.

A Better Life, Present Moment, Quality of life

Hopes and Dreams

Hopes and dreams. Otherwise, our lives merely exist.

My life is evolving. Much has changed in the past month, and even more in the past week! “The Love Button“, spoke about the opportunity on Facebook to give and receive love. This caused me to take a look at my personal Facebook timeline.

My personal timeline has become my virtual ‘dream board’.

A dream board is commonly used among Entrepreneurs. Years ago, we cut pictures from magazines, and attached them to poster-board. Once complete, the board would be filled with photos, displaying a life beyond our wildest dreams! Today we have technology so,  “Hello 2017.”

hopesanddreams

This photo popped up on my Facebook news-feed. My heart ran as fast as it could into that photo! My life is simple, so skip the fancy couch. A Yoga mat, or pillow will do just fine. The view is what made my heart squeal with delight!

To live by the sea is a ‘hope and dream’ of mine.

The photo was posted by a Facebook page entitled, Hopes and Dreams, and was ‘liked’, by me immediately. A beautiful soul is behind this page, and we have become fast friends! God can work through photos to reveal what’s in our hearts!

For the past month a handful of Facebook pages, and the people behind them, have caused my heart to sing! Another page is Love Notes. This woman is full of love, hence the name. After hanging out with these ladies for just a few weeks, my timeline became a literal dream-board! This morning, Hopes and Dreams posted this quote by Jung.

lifeat40

God gives revelation in yearly increments. Once 30 years had passed, I knew my life would change. At the age of 35, my daughter was born, and by 40, my marriage was an unhealthy space for everyone involved. After trying to make it work for 8 more years, God opened a door for us to leave. At 48, my daughter and I began our new life together, with God.

Seeing this quote by Jung stirred up memories. My life continues to change, but is it my life changing, or my soul?  Photos on Facebook, and the people posting them, have helped tap open my heart, and awaken dreams. You can see it on my timeline. My soul is awake as well. ‘Hope’, is what keeps us here, but ‘Dreams’ are where the soul wants to go.

To be continued on Bentnotbroken.net

A Better Life, Present Moment, Quality of life

What A Cock!

I am on a mission to uncover a more authentic me. The incomplete lessons I mentioned in Permission to Grow, are on my schedule for the weekend. I don’t think we need to hurry through any lesson because we miss out on the meaning. Is what you read here all of me, or only the parts of me I want you to see?

Maybe you don’t know of my love for chickens. This time of year farm supply stores have an abundance of baby chicks, bunnies, and ducks for Easter. The children love them, and my daughter was no different. The first time we stepped inside a farm supply store, she was 5 years old. Seeing all the babies, there was no way I could deny her a few baby chicks.

polishfrizzle

What I thought I was buying for her, turned into a long time passion of mine.

For years I had chickens, and loved having fresh eggs everyday.

egg-basket

Even eggs were pretty to me. I had chickens that laid a variety of colors. Some of my most healing moments were spent cleaning the chicken coop while listening to music. It was where I would escape to while building up the courage to leave my 25 year marriage. Being there brought me peace in the most difficult time of my life. Chickens got me through it.

They all brought me joy, but there was one that always followed me around. Her name was Reese. She knew my life was in turmoil, and she would show up throughout the day like she was checking on me. She wouldn’t come in the house, but she would get as close as she could. Here she is sitting in a planter by the front door. She laid her daily egg in that pot.

reese-in-pot

Isn’t she beautiful? She was a Polish hen. I had to have at least one that wore a crown.

I say was because none of my chickens are with me anymore. I brought them with me to our new life on 40 acres, but we had possums that would come at night, and try to get into the coop.

I tried everything to keep them safe, and moved the coop closer to the house, by the back door, thinking a possum wouldn’t come that close to the house. One night we heard a ruckus outside, and I flung open the back door to see a possum inside the coop with Reese in it’s mouth. Trying to keep what I loved, had put them in danger. Reese died from my choice.

Me being the Redneck that I was, I yelled to my daughter, “Shoot it!!!” She ran and got her rifle and shot that possum right between the eyes. Both of us stood there and sobbed.

I won’t have anymore chickens. I won’t put another life in danger, for my happiness, including my own. I worried over those chickens every night, so the joy was already gone. I was now in ‘protection’ mode to see if I could keep them safe, because they were mine.

What did you think this Blog was going to be about when you saw the title?

I have a ginormous metal cock sitting in my front yard. It has brought joy to many people as they ride by. It reminds me of the joy I had with chickens, but it’s also the basis of many a joke. I am a lover of the manly kind too, and could write some things that would probably change your opinion of me. I am hoping to get to the root of why that bothers me.

Over the weekend, a group of bicyclist were coming up the road. I spotted them right when I stepped out on the front porch. They didn’t see me immediately, but they saw the cock. One of them yelled, “What a cock!”, and they all laughed. I thought it was hilarious, but one of them said, “And the lady heard us too.”

It struck me as odd, out of all the words he could have said, he chose the word, ‘lady.’ I am a lady, and wear it like a well weathered cloak at times. To get to the more authentic me, to discover who I am today, maybe I need to let go of some of that lady. The word that came to my mind when I heard, “What a cock”, was….Aspirations.

img_20170301_083339860_hdr

me

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

A Better Life, Present Moment, Quality of life

Perspective

It’s cloudy here in Texas, so I’ve been doing some things around the house, but I’ve also been moving leisurely. I’m enjoying my alone time, but still have a lot I want to do before my daughter gets home. These are wants, not needs. She will be happy to just be home.

I took some time away from home yesterday, and met a friend for lunch. It was spur of the moment, but let me just tell you, the drive was spectacular! We met in Elgin, TX, which was the nearest town to my daughter and I, when we lived on 40 acres. I haven’t had a reason to go there in the past couple of years, so it was interesting to see how things had changed.

GPS took me the back way. Yes, I have my GPS set to ‘back roads please.’ Every now and then, you will spot a vehicle in your rear-view mirror, flying up on your tail at 80 mph. This bothers my daughter to no end, but when I see that happening, it makes me sad for that person. They are not getting the reason why we live way out here, and are they hurrying by.

Even though my daughter is not here this weekend, she is in my heart. I went into what used to be a couple of my favorite shops yesterday, and came home with some little things she will love. These two shops had changed since the last time I was there, but one shop still had a couple of my favorite things. I went into that shop twice. Before I met my friend, and after.

img_20170226_132251826

I laughed so hard when I saw these. These two tins of mints describe pieces of our life.

My daughter’s worst days are contributed to PMS. I have to stop everything I’m doing to accommodate a hot flash. The next time she apologizes for her moodiness, I can hug her, and hand her these. She will scream!

It’s all about perspective darling.

I have been reading a number of Blogs recently, and a lot of writers have stopped writing.

If you love to write, then write. It doesn’t matter what it says, or if it has a point, because the person who is reading it is going to get what they need from it. Things jump out at me that the writer probably just threw in there. I have read Blogs where they wrote it while sitting on their pity pot. Eventually they may stop writing altogether.

Come on now….I’m preachin’ good. What makes you feel alive? Do more of that.

Stop looking at the numbers! Oh yes, I said it. I was once a big numbers/statistics person. The numbers are not reality. Algorithms control what people see, but our God controls who sees what we write. I have seen Him use it many times, and it wasn’t reflected by numbers. I will continue to write what is on my heart, so God can use it for His glory. Not mine.

I was the most fulfilled by writing in January, when I did so everyday. I didn’t always have something profound to share, but it felt good. If I’m sad about something, or in a rotten mood, I try not to burden you with it. Once I have revelation, that is what I love to share.

Just like spending time this weekend, uncluttering my home. That also unclutters my mind.

img_20170226_132350294

There’s no telling what all I will write about once my house is in order! I have to share one more thing that I picked up yesterday. My daughter loves these soaps. These are hand soap size, so not a lot of money. There is something so intoxicating about the smell of a man. We don’t have a man living in our home, but that doesn’t stop us from enjoying the smell. Perspective.

me

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Better Life, Present Moment, Quality of life

So Why Leave

If I sit in the presence of Mr. Smith long enough, the conversation tends to grow deep. Not from me, but from him. I listen, become more quiet, until no words can form. I feel it.

This morning, we were sitting on the back porch, coffee in hand, watching Stork fly in over the lake. I feel a sense of peace when I see Stork. He has always revealed I am in a safe space. This morning, I felt my layers being peeled back one by one, and it was a gentle process. Smith was pointing out how I visit on the weekend, and then I pack up and leave.

Smith asked me to marry him months ago, and I said, “Yes.” Looking at our lives since then they haven’t changed much. I have two lives. The one with Smith on the weekends, and the one with my daughter during the week. My daughter visits some, but that is all it looks like is a weekend visit. My heart has been torn between these two worlds for a while.

16388036_1298028700236006_5808028556618898766_n

Smith has never loved me like I imagined I would be loved. He loves me better.

This morning was one of those times where he gently dug down to the heart of the matter. No more skimming over the surface, and the end result was a feeling of rawness. I thought I was holding it together pretty well, living this double life. But, I don’t have to ‘hold it all together’ anymore. I don’t have to be the man, and the woman, because he is the man.

Standing in the middle of the room was the elephant covered in glitter.

It’s always been my daughter, and me. Even when I was married to her father, it was really just the two of us. There comes a time where you don’t know which way is home. I have two houses, but which one feels more like home? Bringing three lives together, and enjoying one life. People say it’s a hard thing to do, but from where I sit, it’s harder not to.

So, the question is…why leave?

me

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

A Better Life

A Better Life~Day Two

Early to bed, and early to rise has been my trend recently. I’m diggin’ it. There is nothing like watching God run His paintbrush across this Texas sky first thing in the morning.

I did this series a year ago, under the category, “A Better Way To Live.” My daughter was wondering why I was doing it again. Reading the ones I wrote from a year ago, my writing has changed a good bit. Those barely skim the surface of the topic, so I see where today, my writing goes deeper, and is more heartfelt. It needs to go deeper still, but I’m getting there.

Suggestion #2.

Today, and every day, deliver more than you are getting paid to do. The victory of success will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable in your work that eventually you will become indispensable. Exercise your privilege to go the extra mile, and enjoy all the rewards you receive. You deserve them!

We all go through a dry season with our jobs. I have a part-time job that allows me to work from home three days a week. My boss, who is also a friend of mine for the past 15 years, is easy to work with. He knows I’m going through Chemo, and is very accommodating to the days I don’t have a brain. You have to have a brain to do this job. I’m customer service to Day Traders.

I’m very grateful for this job for many reasons. It allows me to work remotely, and I get to choose my schedule. If I want to travel, I pack up my laptop and go. The job has been kinda dry lately, and not very challenging. At first, I got frustrated with the monotony, but then God showed me the blessing in that. It doesn’t take a lot of thought to do the job well.

life-quotes-life-is-like-a-coin-you-can-spend-it-any-way-you-wish-but-you-only-spend-it-once-lillian-dickson-quotes

I changed my attitude, and saw the blessing of the job being simpler than normal right now.

Today I can do my job with excellence, and be grateful for what it is. I believe where suggestion two fits in is more toward my writing. I write for God. Even though I don’t see a physical paycheck for writing, my rewards are worth far more than money. He rewards me everyday in the little things that make my heart soar. My every need is met and then some.

My love is writing, but my job brings reliable income. Writing occurs when my heart is so full, it has to flow onto a page. It’s not planned, or scheduled…it just happens. I have several posts sitting in a draft folder where I had to write it out, but didn’t publish. The more I pour out of my heart, the larger the space I have to be filled with more love.

God gave me this job years ago so I could stay at home, and home-school my daughter. He knew I would leave my marriage, and my daughter and I would need each other afterwards.

She has pretty much taught herself high school, and this gave me the opportunity to write. I saw a quote once that said, “Your story could be the key that unlocks someone else’s prison.”That is my hope. That you will find something here that feels like a key to your prison door. If God can work through me to do that, then that will be reward enough for me.

Barbara is a God follower, a Writer, and Mom to her 17-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Part of her mission is to show people they can start over at 50. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

A Better Life, Present Moment, Quality of life

A Better Life~Day One

I was talking to a friend a while back about Letting Go. She still harbors some anger toward her ex-husband, so I offered assistance. She said, “I’m not sure I wanna let go! Sometimes I use it as fuel to get stuff done.” At first I laughed, but afterwards, I could totally relate.

The suggestion below is from the book, “A Better Way To Live“, by Og Mandino. This series is entitled, “A Better Life”, because to have ‘a better life’, you need, ‘a better way to live.’ There are 17 suggestions in this book. Hopefully, they will encourage, and cause ponder to the path we’re on. I will be writing about each one, which gives us roughly one a week until the end of the year.

Suggestion #1.

Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward toward the life God intended for you…with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.

Do you know you are valuable?

crown

This is one of my favorite Memes. I love how it has a child displayed, instead of a grown person. We are supposed to have child-like faith, and know that we are valuable. We are the child of the one true King! He already says we are more valuable than the birds, (Matt. 6:26), and they are well taken care of everyday. Have you ever seen a stressed out bird? I haven’t.

My daughter reads my Blog usually before I publish it. She’s my Editor. She read the one I wrote earlier this week about, How to Have a Beautiful Life, and claimed it as one her favorites. When we devalue ourselves it should be disturbing. Otherwise we are settling for less than God’s very best for us. Your spirit should give you some signs to what this feels like.

For me, I feel a sadness in my heart. Like something is taking up space, but not fulfilling me anymore. At one time this was a welcome addition to my beautiful life, but now it adds no beauty or life. I remember what it feels like to get disturbed, and make a decision not to take it anymore. If you feel devalued, I give you permission right now to let it disturb you.

Once you make a decision to let it go, you will feel lighter. Everything that Og says in the suggestion above will occur. Some people are afraid to let go of what they have because it’s better than having nothing. In my experience, God always has better in store. By letting go of what we have that doesn’t bring us joy, we’re trusting God that He has more.

 

 

 

mescarf (135x240)Barbara is a God follower, a Writer, and Mom to her 17-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Part of her mission is to show people they can start over at 50. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com