A Better Life, Letting Go, Quality of life

This One Life

This morning I woke up and walked right by my phone. It’s laying on the table in another room. There are times during the day I lose track of it completely. It’s quiet, and so am I.

I saw a quote that said, “Technology was created to save us time.” I don’t know about you, but it was taking up most of my time. Now, the occasional glance at Social Media from my laptop is all the time it receives. I’m not isolating from the world, but I did step away from anything that wasn’t healthy for my heart. My heart is becoming more tender, and it’s growing in this environment, just like the plants. To have a tender heart, you have to hang around the tenderhearted.

finalstraw

I was holding the final straw in many areas of my life. When it snapped, so did I. Knowing who I am, I drank my own medicine, and let go of everything and everybody.

My life is completely different today than a month ago. By stepping away from everything I was doing, allows God to show me what He wants done. I told myself I was encouraging people on social media for Him. There are plenty of people doing a great job at that, so God has more in store. Social Media is not going anywhere, so I left.

Choose how you spend your life, and who gets to join you.

God has given my daughter and me a simply beautiful life.

I’m present, and participating fully in the one around me.

A Better Life, Letting Go, Quality of life

I Bled Out

A few months ago, my daughter said, “You’re always staring at that phone!” She looks at hers too, but mainly to connect with friends. I was checking all my Social Media accounts.

Something was going to change, and it was me.

anthony

I’ve done pretty much the same thing the past few years.

I’m finding balance between people and technology.

Is the phone a tool, or a lifeline? How do you use yours?

It helps us stay connected to those we love, but I became loved out. I allowed my phone to be shut off for 3 weeks, and I didn’t miss it. The only thing I missed was calling my sister, and hearing her voice. I even printed out some of my Blogs, and mailed them to her to let her see what I’ve been doing.

I use a laptop, or pen to paper to write. No phone.

2016-01-27-19-12-23

God has given me two more Blogs, but WordPress is where I began. The WordPress community is an actual community. When someone outside of WordPress reads your Blog, they cannot like, or comment without opening an account. If they are not already in WordPress, they have to join. No likes or comments from friends outside WordPress. ‘Social’ Media?

Do you know how much of you is in your phone?

Do you know it’s big business to sell contact information?

How would you feel if it fell in water and you lost it all?

Can you leave the house without it, and enjoy yourself?

These are just a few things I learned without my phone. Why did I turn it back on? My landlord tried contacting me, and when I didn’t respond, he was worried something was wrong. I told him it was shut off, and he couldn’t fathom it.

johncena

This is our kitten and his name is John Cena.

My daughter named him, and it’s fun yelling JOHHHHHHN CEEEEENA all day. He knows his name, and walks into view when we call him. Unless, he is asleep somewhere.

He isn’t allowed in our bedrooms, but yesterday, I was sitting in bed, writing in a journal, and dozed off. When I awoke, John Cena was not only in my room, but in my bed! His paws wrapped around my ankle, and using my bare foot as his pillow. I just sat there wishing I had my phone to snap a pic.

My daughter said, “It’s a good thing you had your phone in the bed, so you could snap that pic.” I didn’t have my phone. Luckily, John stayed put while I found it. I bought my daughter a small plaque that says, “I love you more than my phone.” It feels good to say that, but even better to feel it.

A Better Life, Quality of life

The Seeds of Success by Og Mandino

letting-seed-growGod, I thank you for this day.

I know I have not accomplished as yet all you expect of me, and if that is your reason for bathing me in the fresh dew of another dawn, I am most grateful.

I am prepared at last, to make you proud of me.

I will forget yesterday, with all it’s trial and tribulations, aggravations and setbacks. The past is already a dream from which I can neither retrieve a single word nor erase any foolish deeds.

I will resolve, however, that if I have injured anyone yesterday through my thoughtlessness, I will not let this day’s sun set before I make amends, and nothing I do today will be of greater importance.

I will not fret the future. My success and happiness does not depend on straining to see what lurks dimly on the horizon, but to do, this day, what lies clearly at hand.

I will treasure this day, for it is all I have. I know that’s it’s rushing hours cannot be accumulated or stored, like precious grain, for future use.

I will live as all good actors do when they are on stage-only in the moment. I cannot perform at my best today by regretting my previous act’s mistakes or worrying about the scene to come.

I will embrace today’s difficult tasks, take off my coat, and make dust in the world. I will remember that the more productive I am, the less harm I am apt to suffer, the tastier will be my food, the sweeter my sleep, and the better satisfied I will be with my place in the world.

I will free myself today from slavery to the clock and calendar. Although I will plan this day in order to conserve my steps and energy, I will begin to measure my life in deeds, not years, in thoughts, not seasons.

I will remain aware of how little it takes to make this a happy day. Never will I pursue happiness, because it is not a goal, just a by-product, and there is no happiness in having or in getting, only in giving.

I will run from no danger I might encounter today, because I am certain that nothing will happen to me that I am not equipped to handle with your help. Just as any gem is polished by friction, I am certain to become more valuable through this day’s adversities, and if you close one door, you always open another for me.

I will live this day as if it were Christmas. I will be a giver of gifts and deliver to my enemies the gift of forgiveness, my opponents, tolerance, my friends, a smile, my children, a good example, and every gift will be wrapped with unconditional love.

I will waste not even a precious second today in anger or hate or jealousy or selfishness. I know that the seeds I sow will harvest, because every action, good or bad, is always followed by and equal reaction. I will plant only good seeds today.

I will treat today as a priceless violin. One may draw harmony from it an another, discord, yet no one will blame the instrument. Life is the same, and if I play it correctly, it will give forth beauty, but if I play it ignorantly, it will produce ugliness.

I will condition myself to look on every problem I encounter today as no more than a pebble in my shoe. I remember the pain, so harsh I could hardly walk, and recall my surprise when I removed my shoe and found only a grain of sand.

I will work convinced that nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. To do anything today that is truly worth doing, I must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in with gusto and scramble through as well as I can.

I will face the world with goals set for this day, but they will be attainable ones, not the vague, impossible variety declared by those who make a career of failure. I realize that you always try me a little first, to see what I would do with a lot.

I will never hide my talents. If I am silent, I am forgotten, if I do not advance, I will fall back. If I walk away from any challenge today, my self-esteem will be forever scarred, and if I cease to grow, even a little, I will become smaller. I reject the stationary position because it is always the beginning of the end.

I will keep a smile on my face and in my heart even when it hurts today. I know that the world is a looking-glass and gives back to me the reflection of my own soul. Now I understand the secret of correcting the attitude of others and that is to correct my own.

I will turn away from any temptation today that might cause me to break my word or lose my self-respect. I am positive that the only thing I possess more valuable than my life is my honor.

I will work this day with all my strength, content in the knowledge that life does not consist of wallowing in the past or peering anxiously at the future. It is appalling to contemplate the great number of painful steps by which one arrives at a truth so old, so obvious, and so frequently expressed. Whatever it offers, little or much, my life is now.

I will pause whenever I am feeling sorry for myself today, and remember that this is the only day I have and must play it to the fullest. What my part may signify in the great whole. I may not recognize, but I am here to play it and now is the time.

I will remember that those who have fewest regrets are those who take each moment as it comes for all that it’s worth.

This is my day!

These are my seeds.

Thank you, God, for this precious garden of time.

A Better Life, Present Moment, Quality of life

It’s a Choice

Since deciding to take a Social Media fast, some friends have called me out. Facebook detects a connection, and is telling on me. To stay connected to my daughter while she is at her Father’s this weekend, we’ve used Messenger. Facebook Messenger is an app that is  made by Facebook, but is separate. So, nope. I have not posted one Meme.

For me, it’s not about disconnecting from people. I love people, so why would I do that? Maintaining social media sites take a lot of time, and energy. So much so, someone created automation to do it for you. Again, what fun is that?

shes-a-writer-clean

It all started with my phone. Sometimes the bill is due before the weekend, and before payday. I get paid on Monday’s, so I get to choose. Do I want an active phone, or money for the weekend? I choose having money to spend, over my phone.

I’ve used Cricket phone service for 5 years, and it works. There are no contracts, and you just pay month to month. No re-connection, or late fees, just pay when you need it.

The phone turns into a blingy paperweight, and I’m out the door. An iced latte would hit the spot, so I hop in my truck, and drive 10 minutes down the road to Chapparal Coffee.

This young couple moved from Austin, TX, to open this coffee bar, and his name is Austin! He has the best vibe, and it’s pure joy just walking in the door. Coffee and I have a serious relationship, and I have learned a lot at Chapparal. I go there several times a week for the coffee, and the people.

20170514_114543.jpg
Austin at Chapparal Coffee, Lockhart, TX.

His wife brings in wildflowers, so there are always flowers. Walking in today, Austin had just finished installing a couple of beer taps, but not for beer. Oh no lovely. This is magical!

chapperal

I could not believe what I was seeing. Ginger Beer!!!!

Austin handed me a glass to try, and it was unbelievable! Like an ice-cold mouthful of fresh ginger with fizz! The Kombucha is green tea with fruit, so I fell in love with that too! I grabbed half a pound of coffee beans, (which lasts us a week), a Kombucha, and Ginger beer for later. Money spent was $14.00. Not to mention the fellowship, love and laughter.

Some friends scoff at me for spending money on high quality coffee. “Being a single Mom with a part-time income, how do you do that?” I’m going to drink coffee, so it might as well be a life experience. The coffee costs a little more than the grocery store brands, but it’s well worth the extra dollars.

Experimenting in the kitchen on the weekends is a newfound love. The last time I went to the local grocery store, they had some huge basil plants on display. My daughter and I chuckled at how big they were! I’ve been wanting to try this Basil Hummus recipe, so instead of paying $3.98 per packet for a few fresh Basil leaves, I opted to buy this guy for $9.00.

20170617_141411

It should bring plenty of Basil Hummus and fresh Pesto!

Since trying my hand at the Boston Ferns, (which shout out to the lady who left a comment with tips), this spoke to me today. I have a planter full of dirt sitting on my porch from last years plant demise, but we’re gonna give this Basil a go.

When I went in the store to pay for the Basil, I took a walk through the flower department. Fresh flowers are a love of mine and my daughters, but not just any flower. We have a few that are special to us, and this time of year is for Peonies.

20170617_141203(1).jpg

This little bundle cost $6.00. They will be fully opened by the time my daughter gets home, which will double the joy.

These choices bring more meaning and beauty to my life than my phone. I’m able to choose today, and the end result is showing others, “I love you more than my phone.”

A Better Life, Flying Free, Letting Go, Present Moment

Timing and Expectations

My daughter has left to go visit her Father, so let the weekend begin! Let’s see how long it takes her to realize, she left her favorite CD’s in the CD player at home. Thank you Darling!

As she drove away, I turned on the stereo to listen to this song I’ve been bingeing on for a month. You can hear it on Feel the Music. This song soothes me even though it makes the house vibrate. Gotta love a good stereo, and sub woofer.

unplug

This weekend I am taking a social media fast. Social Media and I have had a long loved, and unloved relationship. It has been good for me, and not so good. Spending the weekends, doing whatever I wanna, the timing feels right to take this break. Will let you know next week what it taught me.

Life has a lot to do with timing, and expectations. They are our teachers. I have high expectations for myself, but realize everyone’s expectations vary. We can be our own worst enemy, so my weekends are spent being extra kind to myself.

Something social media has given me are Memes. Friends tease me about my life being one, big Meme. I love them, and will eventually make a Meme compiled with all my favorite quotes, but I almost allowed a complete stranger turn me against them altogether. This happened a year ago.

worth

Searching for Memes to post on Letitgocoach Facebook page, I was becoming burned out over seeing the same ones. There had to be better, and more, is what I felt in my heart. I found an online software that was free, and user-friendly, and began making my own, like the one above.

My heart was right, but I had no clue what I was doing. All I knew was, they should be pretty, and say something that you don’t see everyday. Looking for Memes to share, there were times the saying was almost what I wanted, but not quite. Or, I would find the perfect one, and it would have a typo in it.

This online software was not the best, or the most popular to use, but it was simple. It had limited choices for font, and pics. It didn’t stop me though. Between my daughter’s photography, and Google, I could find pics. The software provided freedom to share whatever I felt led to share, but they didn’t look like ordinary Memes. Here’s one of the first.

3JTp8T1460162710
One of my first Memes.

One of my favorite meditative readings is a book by Melodie Beattie entitled, “Journey to the Heart: Daily meditations on the Path to Freedom.” Googling quotes from the book, pulled up very few Memes, but that is what I wanted to share. It wasn’t going to change the world, but it could make a difference. Then, in walked the stranger with my lesson.

My Facebook page was growing, and this guy that owns a couple of pages decided he would help me out. He sent a message, and here it is copied and pasted in it’s original format. His personal info has been omitted for anonymity. “If I may suggest, your messages are great, just need to work little on your images. Use picmonkey for editing images Pixabay for images and pintrest for free fonts and quotes.”

I thanked him for his advice, and did more research. Was his comment discouraging, or encouraging? I saw it as both.

Having done research beforehand, I knew of his suggestions, and they were not what I wanted. The one I was using was simple, and had everything right there, it just needed to offer more. Recently, I went back to his pages to see if his style had changed, and it had. The Memes were all black and white.

allbecause
From SC Lourie’s journal, “How the Light Gets Out.”

One year later, and full circle. Looking through SC Lourie’s journal, and wanting to share. I pulled up the Meme software to see if they had made any changes, or if it still existed. There it was with many new enhancements. It just took time. They know they have a good thing going, but they also know it can always be better. The one above is for my new Blog.

It’s not about being perfect, or pleasing other people. It’s about what makes YOU happy. Learning to take constructive criticism is a work in progress, but it makes me want to do better, and be the best I can be. Making memes is fun, and it’s one of the best, and free ways to advertise who you are.

Just for grins, I Googled Letitgocoach, clicked on images, and there they are! A lot of what has been posted here, or used on Letitgocoach Facebook is displayed on Google. Even some of the early ones! (slight cringe) Well, here ya go Google. Latch onto one of my faves! Much love lovelies!

whatyoudeserve

A Better Life, Present Moment, Quality of life

The Wanna List

It was a beautiful weekend. I stayed home, and did whatever made my heart happy. It’s refreshing at this stage of my life to have no more ‘to do’ list. Instead, there is a ‘wanna’ list.

Throughout the day, I would see something that could to be done, and ask myself, “Do I wanna do that?” My daughter painted the walls of her bedroom last week, so now the trim looks dingy. The man at the paint store gave her a quart of, ‘Whitest White’, to try. Did I wanna paint trim, and surprise her when she arrived home from her Dad’s? Not really.

I grabbed a wooden plant stand she has in her room, and took it to the porch. My vision was to paint it using the white to see if she wanted something that bright in her room, before painting miles of trim. Dipping the paint brush into the can, and doing light strokes across the top shelf, it didn’t cover the surface completely. You could see the original color peeping through, which complimented her room as is.  I continued with light strokes on all three shelves, and boom!

plantstand

It took all of 10 minutes, and I believe she will be pleased.

That is how I spent the weekend. Giving my life a light touch.

In the post entitled, Dream While Awake, we talk about de-cluttering, and making room for more. We already have more than enough ‘things’ lovely, so that’s not the point.

It really is de-cluttering our minds, and hearts, to make room for more of what brings us joy! You can see from the picture, my daughter is into plants. She has collected a few easy ones, because neither of us have good luck with them. We love them to death. Literally. Plants take a light, loving touch.

This Spring, my daughter had a vision for our front porch. We have two hooks to hang plants from, and she requested Boston Ferns. My initial reaction was, “I can probably kill those quickly!” I have never been able to keep one alive, but my guess would be, I tried too hard. Like a lot of things in my life before now. I bought one, hung it on the porch, and she was happy. It’s been easy to care for, but she gently reminded me there is one more hook. This weekend, I gazed at the empty hook, and just knew it didn’t need to be empty.

I gave myself time with the one and only fern. Telling myself, “If I can keep it alive and flourishing, it would receive a companion.” My daughter’s vision has become a reality.

ferns

My daughter and I are so well connected, the things that make my heart happy, make her heart happy too. Speaking of heart happy. This will make your heart soar. SC Lourie’s new journal, “How the Light Gets Out,” is available now! This journal is so beautiful, I have been carrying it from room to room for over a month. You can view and purchase it here.

This journal brings me joy! SC Lourie is one of my favorite writer’s and she’s an inspiration to me. You may know her as ButterfliesandPebbles. The pages of her journal are so beautiful, I haven’t felt led to write in it! It’s not that I’m afraid to use it because I surely will, but it waters my soul just as it is.

Lastnight, as my weekend was coming to a close, I sat and flipped through the pages. When I saw this page, I was happy to see we were on the same page. Hah! (Good pun). SC Lourie had summed up my weekend, and my life. It says, “What do you wanna, darling?” I’ll just leave that here.

A Better Life, Letting Go, Moving On

Dream While Awake

I haven’t written a Blog in three weeks. This was not intentional. It was like giving myself permission ‘not to’ if it wasn’t inspired. Not long ago, I felt this need to Blog almost every day, but letting go of that ‘need’ is freeing.

My last post entitled, Time and Talents, caused me to ponder what I really wanted my life to be. God has given my daughter and me a beautiful life, but there is always more in store with God. Looking at everything I’ve laid my hand to, and asking myself, “Is this God’s very best? Do I see any fruit from my labor? Do I want to continue everything I’ve been doing the past 3 years?” Comfortable feels good doesn’t it?

The last few weeks I have been preparing my nest, and myself for more. Making room by de-cluttering my mind, home, and even washing my truck. Taking care of everything God has given me, and looking to see if it still fits in my life. My mission is still to reveal the beauty of everyday life, but how beautiful is my life? Can it be even more beautiful?

Loosen the grip on the seen, and make room for the unseen.

heisable

A couple of weeks ago, I was lying in bed getting ready to go to sleep. Before I drifted off, a slide show began rolling through my mind. It was a recap of the past 5 years, and I could see how far God had brought me. The slide show brought me up to the present moment, and I could see my current surroundings, but it slowly rolled for a glimpse more.

I was still lying in my bed, but the bedroom looked different. It was lighter, and brighter. My current light fixture attached to the ceiling was replaced by a dainty, crystal chandelier.

Imagine your most beautiful life. What does it look like?

God has even better in store. It’s far more than we can see.

We have dreams in our hearts, and God knows our heart.

beach

This is my dream. To sit on the beach at any given moment. What that looks like specifically, I am not sure, but this picture has been sitting on my laptop for quite some time.

Will I live at the beach, or have a vacation home there?

To watch the sunset over the sea, and drift off to sleep with a window open listening to the waves. To walk along the beach at sunrise, breathing in the salty air. There will be a loft in the house with a magnificent view for writing, painting, building stained glass, and whatever else lies deep in my heart. A lot is unknown, and unseen, but this is my dream.

God’s timing is impeccable, but also unpredictable. To believe in my heart for God’s very best as I did 5 years ago. You may be thinking, “Sounds good Barb, but how are you going to get from point A to point B?” My love for people, networking, helping others achieve their dreams, and my adoration for ‘pretty’, has led me to new career opportunity.

A new passion? No…God has renewed the passion I had 20 years ago. It will take stepping out into the unknown again, and trusting Him in a big way. Thank you to all the souls who have taught me to wait, and wait well. To be unsettled where I am, and be able to utilize what God has taught me up to this point, because there’s more. Is there WiFi on the beach?

A Better Life, Letting Go, Moving On

Time and Talents

worship-in-the-overflow-acrylic-painting-21570385
Worship in the Overflow 

“What am I doing?”, was my thought this morning. Sitting down with some coffee, I pulled up my WordPress site to read some Blogs I follow. I chose “Minimalist Grandma.” first.

The woman behind the Blog is named Jill. We met on WordPress, and have a lot in common. My best friend during childhood was named Jill. She is not that Jill, but it’s easy to remember her name, which is usually a challenge for me. Jill and I have simplified our lives to the point that we now have time, along with  passion, and purpose to pour into others.

In Jill’s Blog, she dove right into the subject by saying, “I am now making decisions about my time and talents. What do I keep? What do I discard?” This is letting go at it’s finest!

Time and talents. Walking through a Breast Cancer Journey last year proved time is precious. It should not be wasted, because an unlimited amount is not promised. On talents…we are all given at least one gift. With practice, that one gift will cause an offspring of other gifts. Jill’s Blog revealed a new twist on something I have always believed to be true.

Give from overflow_edited-1

I have always given from my overflow, but Jill writes, “It seems like we should be giving out of our abundance, but I find that I give best and most from my lack.” BOOM!

A friend of mine just posted on Facebook, “The more love you give away, the more love you will have.” My favorite thing to do is give love away, but there are mornings I wake up running low on love. Maybe I give too much away, and don’t save enough for myself? Too much time spent giving of our gifts, and talents, without balance, leaves me depleted.

Maybe that is why I have free time from giving it away.

If what we give, is what we receive, then I want to find out what I lack, so I can give that. Looking over my life there is no obvious lack, so today I will ‘dig deeper.’ What do I lack?

give

If it’s already in ‘lack mode’, it shouldn’t be given away at this time. There needs to be time spent nurturing it, so it will grow. Someone once told me I lack commitment. Two years later, I let the man go who told me that, so maybe it’s true. Being in three serious realtionships over the past 30 years, I have been the one who leaves. Do I lack commitment?

You can read Jill’s complete post by clicking here. Thank you Minimalist Grandma for making me think. That is something there is no lack of, but I’m on a jouney to see what is.

A Better Life, Present Moment, Quality of life

Hopes and Dreams

Hopes and dreams. Otherwise, our lives merely exist.

My life is evolving. Much has changed in the past month, and even more in the past week! “The Love Button“, spoke about the opportunity on Facebook to give and receive love. This caused me to take a look at my personal Facebook timeline.

My personal timeline has become my virtual ‘dream board’.

A dream board is commonly used among Entrepreneurs. Years ago, we cut pictures from magazines, and attached them to poster-board. Once complete, the board would be filled with photos, displaying a life beyond our wildest dreams! Today we have technology so,  “Hello 2017.”

hopesanddreams

This photo popped up on my Facebook news-feed. My heart ran as fast as it could into that photo! My life is simple, so skip the fancy couch. A Yoga mat, or pillow will do just fine. The view is what made my heart squeal with delight!

To live by the sea is a ‘hope and dream’ of mine.

The photo was posted by a Facebook page entitled, Hopes and Dreams, and was ‘liked’, by me immediately. A beautiful soul is behind this page, and we have become fast friends! God can work through photos to reveal what’s in our hearts!

For the past month a handful of Facebook pages, and the people behind them, have caused my heart to sing! Another page is Love Notes. This woman is full of love, hence the name. After hanging out with these ladies for just a few weeks, my timeline became a literal dream-board! This morning, Hopes and Dreams posted this quote by Jung.

lifeat40

God gives revelation in yearly increments. Once 30 years had passed, I knew my life would change. At the age of 35, my daughter was born, and by 40, my marriage was an unhealthy space for everyone involved. After trying to make it work for 8 more years, God opened a door for us to leave. At 48, my daughter and I began our new life together, with God.

Seeing this quote by Jung stirred up memories. My life continues to change, but is it my life changing, or my soul?  Photos on Facebook, and the people posting them, have helped tap open my heart, and awaken dreams. You can see it on my timeline. My soul is awake as well. ‘Hope’, is what keeps us here, but ‘Dreams’ are where the soul wants to go.

To be continued on Bentnotbroken.net

A Better Life, Present Moment, Quality of life

What A Cock!

I am on a mission to uncover a more authentic me. The incomplete lessons I mentioned in Permission to Grow, are on my schedule for the weekend. I don’t think we need to hurry through any lesson because we miss out on the meaning. Is what you read here all of me, or only the parts of me I want you to see?

Maybe you don’t know of my love for chickens. This time of year farm supply stores have an abundance of baby chicks, bunnies, and ducks for Easter. The children love them, and my daughter was no different. The first time we stepped inside a farm supply store, she was 5 years old. Seeing all the babies, there was no way I could deny her a few baby chicks.

polishfrizzle

What I thought I was buying for her, turned into a long time passion of mine.

For years I had chickens, and loved having fresh eggs everyday.

egg-basket

Even eggs were pretty to me. I had chickens that laid a variety of colors. Some of my most healing moments were spent cleaning the chicken coop while listening to music. It was where I would escape to while building up the courage to leave my 25 year marriage. Being there brought me peace in the most difficult time of my life. Chickens got me through it.

They all brought me joy, but there was one that always followed me around. Her name was Reese. She knew my life was in turmoil, and she would show up throughout the day like she was checking on me. She wouldn’t come in the house, but she would get as close as she could. Here she is sitting in a planter by the front door. She laid her daily egg in that pot.

reese-in-pot

Isn’t she beautiful? She was a Polish hen. I had to have at least one that wore a crown.

I say was because none of my chickens are with me anymore. I brought them with me to our new life on 40 acres, but we had possums that would come at night, and try to get into the coop.

I tried everything to keep them safe, and moved the coop closer to the house, by the back door, thinking a possum wouldn’t come that close to the house. One night we heard a ruckus outside, and I flung open the back door to see a possum inside the coop with Reese in it’s mouth. Trying to keep what I loved, had put them in danger. Reese died from my choice.

Me being the Redneck that I was, I yelled to my daughter, “Shoot it!!!” She ran and got her rifle and shot that possum right between the eyes. Both of us stood there and sobbed.

I won’t have anymore chickens. I won’t put another life in danger, for my happiness, including my own. I worried over those chickens every night, so the joy was already gone. I was now in ‘protection’ mode to see if I could keep them safe, because they were mine.

What did you think this Blog was going to be about when you saw the title?

I have a ginormous metal cock sitting in my front yard. It has brought joy to many people as they ride by. It reminds me of the joy I had with chickens, but it’s also the basis of many a joke. I am a lover of the manly kind too, and could write some things that would probably change your opinion of me. I am hoping to get to the root of why that bothers me.

Over the weekend, a group of bicyclist were coming up the road. I spotted them right when I stepped out on the front porch. They didn’t see me immediately, but they saw the cock. One of them yelled, “What a cock!”, and they all laughed. I thought it was hilarious, but one of them said, “And the lady heard us too.”

It struck me as odd, out of all the words he could have said, he chose the word, ‘lady.’ I am a lady, and wear it like a well weathered cloak at times. To get to the more authentic me, to discover who I am today, maybe I need to let go of some of that lady. The word that came to my mind when I heard, “What a cock”, was….Aspirations.

img_20170301_083339860_hdr

me

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com