I’m Not Going

I’m not going to my appointment today.

There are two ways God knows He can get my attention. Money, and physical pain. God also knows I’m continually on the lookout for the next right thing being done. What happened yesterday, was not the next right thing for me.

My health insurance ran out in March of this year.

When I made the appointment with my breast surgeon a couple of weeks ago, the lady on the phone assured me that the cost of the appointment could be broken down into payments afterwards. A lady from the surgeons office called yesterday to tell me that the appointment would need to be paid in full at the time of service. Sorry, but no.

That is not what I was told when I agreed to come in.

That decision has placed me on a new path this morning.

Thank you for your love and prayers. Forgive me for not going.

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Feel the Music

This song came up in my Facebook memories today.

It was 4 years ago that I posted it, and it still resonates with me. Brad Paisley is singing it as a country-style love song, would be my guess, but I took it as a generalization.

I was talking to someone yesterday about my passion to help people lay down their phones. It’s pretty out of control today, and may look insurmountable, but where there’s a will, there’s a way. His response was, “You can’t change it.”

That comment struck a match and lit a flame inside me.

I met a girlfriend this morning for coffee. She uninstalled Facebook and Messenger from her phone last week. Today, she proudly announced, “I didn’t even bring my phone!” I was so happy for her, and felt silly for bringing mine!

Maybe it’s not the world that needs changing. Maybe it’s us.

Letting Go of One Connection, for Another

Some days require a do-over. The dogs were up way too early. I hadn’t had enough coffee to deal with their playfulness. I let them get some of their energy out, and in their houses they went. It was that easy to find some peace.

I drove down to the corner store to grab a cup of coffee. Walking in, I notice a table full of people. They are usually there in the mornings, and this brought a smile to my face. We said our, “Good mornings”, as I took a look at their table.

There were no cell phones in sight. The newspaper was opened to the crossword puzzle, like it was a team effort to fill it in. They were laughing, talking, and enjoying time together.

As I was walking toward the door to exit, an elderly man walked in and said, “Good Morning Ms. Barbara.” I gave him a hug, and he grunted like I squeezed him too hard.

Getting into my truck, I spot two women on horses. They are prancing through the grass in front of the Post Office. I wished I had my phone to take a picture, but it was at home.

Once I returned home, I drank my coffee, and called a friend. We spent an hour talking, and making a game plan for the week. We are meeting tomorrow to implement some small changes in her life to regain her independence.

I let the dogs outside, and stood on the porch. It was almost time to drench the Boston Ferns. They are ginormous! Denver, one of our dogs, acted like he was listening intently to something. I could barely hear a woman’s voice, and then I heard two women talking. It was the women on horses!

They came to a halt, and turned the horses around, bringing them up to stand by my front yard gate. What a beautiful sight. They said, “Good Morning! We love your ferns. They are huge!” I smiled and thanked them for their kindness. They asked if I rode, and I told them, “Yes. I used to.” They said, “We have one more horse that needs a rider if you’re interested.” I laughed, thanked them, and will ponder it.

Life is happening right in front of us, and I am connected.

 

Me…Not Worried

I love the way God prepares me for what is next.

Everything you step out and do in life is practice.

It may not be a part of your plan, but by being willing to go forth, and just do, it will lead you onto the next thing.

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I was reminded this week, I cannot help people unless they are ready for change. It’s healthy for me today to set that boundary, and step away. I cannot save souls by posting on Social Media. It may make them feel better for a moment, but that is just a band-aid for something that runs deeper.

God gave me an idea on Monday, so this is day 3 of praying, pondering, and asking questions. I’m gonna move forward with it and see what happens. It is something I’ve done before, and it’s normally successful, but even if it’s not hugely successful, it helps others, and causes me to become better.

The biggest thing God has prepared me for recently is, not having Internet since Saturday. A short time ago, I would have come unglued. Slowly becoming disenchanted with technology, and letting go of all that a phone can do, has brought me to this peaceful space. The Internet will be back, but it’s nice to know, I’ve been able to enjoy life without it.

Pure-Hearted Humility

My first year of Blogging, a lady commented on one of my posts that I had been nominated for a Blogger award. I had no clue what that meant, so I thanked her, and continued writing.

I read a Blog this morning by Liz at My Well-being and Learning Journey. She had been nominated for an award. By being nominated, you are asked to nominate 15 other Bloggers. (When I began Blogging, I didn’t know 5, much less 15.) She didn’t pinpoint any nominees. By reading her post, consider yourself nominated. Liz is pure-hearted humility.

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Catch the Overflow

I still drench the Boston Ferns twice a day. It is hot in Texas, and they hang outside. I would want to be drenched too.

Letting go is a continuous process. Before I brought home my first plant, I drank my own medicine, and posted this. seewhatstays

A lady commented, “If you don’t like what stays, you have a decision to make.” I let it all go, and chose what stayed.

I thought I was clearing my platter to make room for more.

When I was actually clearing a space to make room for me.

There is an Asparagus Fern on the porch, that has been moved a dozen times. It didn’t look happy, or that it was getting everything it needed to thrive. Knowing they can take full sun, and shade, it was a challenge finding the right spot.

“I’m loving the metaphor of your plants as they bloom and grow. Your posts feel like fresh water to my dry roots xx”

Thanks to that comment, I knew where to move the Asparagus Fern.

It receives the overflow from the drenching of where this began. My cup runneth over. Catch the overflow.

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Can you see the trickle of water?

Feel the Music

Heard this song come on the radio this morning. It made me smile because I have learned this lesson.  The Don’t Wants.

Ready to Bloom

healI was on my way to an AA meeting yesterday, and stopped by to see Stephanie. She is my plant Guru. I’m not sure she realizes the magnificent healing she has brought to my life through these plants she encouraged me to bring home. It was time to buy my first one that would bloom. I spotted a pot that made me smile, and the plant we chose is big!

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Yes. I blew my Saturday budget on a pot and plant. No regrets.

She told me it is a good plastic one, but it looked real!

On the way home, I stopped at a small Farmer’s Market.

There is something about people sitting in 100 degree heat, that deserve our attention. A young lady was sitting at a table filled with bottles of honey. We began talking, and she invited me to her church. I listened as she told me more.

What made my ears perk was a study they have on Wednesday nights. It’s by Beth Moore, entitled, “Believing God.” I did this study years ago, and it was enlightening.

Believing God is what I’ve been doing, but it would be nice to do the study again. She is going to text me a reminder, but I was standing there because of the label on her honey.

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Aren’t we supposed to Bee Love? I believe so.

As I was walking away she said, “I am looking for a mentor! A Godly woman I can model my life after.” I didn’t respond, but Wednesday night I will be at that study. I hear you God.

This journey  began with my daughter wanting Boston Ferns.

As I was leaving Stephanie’s, she said the main thing people ask her is how to grow a Boston Fern. The thought intimidated me too, but they are huge now! I told her about mine, and she said, “If you can grow a Boston Fern, you are the bomb!” All I did was care. I hugged Stephanie and said, “You make my life more beautiful.” She exclaimed, “That made my day!” She helped give me my beautiful life back.

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Double bloom Pink Hibiscus and Mochee.

God knows when we are ready to bloom. Can you feel it?.

Breaking Heart Strings

July has taught me what makes the heart happy, and sad.

Making up my bed this morning, and catching a glimpse of the Happiness sign, I stopped making it up, and changed the sheets. That made my heart happy. They will feel good tonight.

Detachment is a word commonly used in Letting Go. Today, I saw the word, ‘Unattached’, and that felt softer. Detachment always left me feeling cold, and that’s not me.

I imagined strings attached to my heart, and they would attach to another heart, or circumstance. Anything that made the heart happy. When something occurs that made the heart sad, a string would break, and fall away. Over time with repetition, the heart becomes unattached. What used to excite the heart doesn’t phase it now. The strings are gone.

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To Be True

Life is beautiful, and we are taking time to cultivate it.

I saw the gradual movement of change. My daughter painted her room, and I fell in love with the feel. Walking into my own room, it didn’t give me that feel. Looking at paint colors, then testing samples, and voila! My room has that feel with completely different colors. How is that possible? We know what feels good, and both rooms do, but on different levels.

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I chose the true red over faded red, to remind myself to be true. The happiness sign hung over my bed, but I moved it to the opposite wall. When I wake up, I lay there for a moment, and ponder it’s meaning for the day. Each day holds different levels of happiness. To get good with that and just be.

I don’t have to jump out of bed anymore, and embrace the day. It’s best for me to travel through the day, and acknowledge uncertainty. People are walking in and out of my life, and I am letting them. Melody Beattie was referring to being in the middle of God’s will. We love God’s will, “but not usually while it’s working itself out.” This is true.

The place we pray to be in is uncomfortable to sit in.

Shades of PINK commented on one of my Facebook posts today with, “Perfect place to ‘BE.'” It was picture perfect. To just ‘be’ is not always how we picture it, or perfect.

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My daughter sent me that Meme. My feelings change from day to day, but God doesn’t change, and I know that to be true.

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