Category: Letting Go

Stalk Your Dreams

Years ago, I had this poster hanging on my office wall in plain view.

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I had a successful business and worked it day in and day out. My office was gorgeous, as was the rest of the house. A well-known designer from Austin, TX came in and did her magic. I was probably living the majority of the populations dream, but was I living mine?

I don’t recall being happy. Here is something I learned the hard way. “Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose”. C.S Lewis. That business slowly declined to the point where I had to let it go. A few months later, I had to let go of that magnificent house and its beautiful belongings. Did my dreams go too? Even though this was one of life’s hard lessons, the business was just a business and the material things were objects. No one can take away your dreams, but we can lose sight of them.

Life get’s in the way, and dreams get set aside or put up on a shelf. When life hits hard, its human nature to go into Survival’ mode. This is not a pretty place to live.

Looking back on those years, it’s obvious God was right there in the mess with me and He used it to make me better. I had to go through emotional pain but it was worth it. The choices I made with money and relationships were not wise, but needed. Today, I know first hand a happy life cannot be bought.

I encourage you today to dig deep, uncover that dream, and then take a step toward it. Your dream has been waiting your whole life. Stalk your dreams.

No Regrets

Just because we have them, doesn’t mean we have to keep them. The dictionary describes it as: Regret is a negative conscious and emotional reaction to personal past acts and behaviors. Regret is often expressed by the term “sorry.” That is encouraging to me because it reveals itself as consciousness and emotion, which we have control over. It also places it in the past, which we can choose not to live in anymore.

Some of you know, I spent a third of my life drowning in alcoholism. Early in my sobriety, I told a friend that I regretted all the years I lost to drinking, and wish I had them back. She quickly told me, “God was with you that whole time. Watching over you, protecting you, and allowing that experience to form you into the person you are today.” It’s true, and I wouldn’t have met her. One of my most treasured friends.

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The most important thing to know is….We’re not alone. There are people out there who have done the same stupid things we did, if not worse, and are alive to tell about it. If you want to hear some, go sit in an AA meeting with a lot of newcomers. This is called a ‘Beginners’ meeting, and they usually have just a few hours sober. They are full of regret, and share snippets of things they did drunk, and are trying to accept sober. What’s interesting is almost everyone in the room will be nodding their head in agreement as their story unfolds. We can relate to their pain because we did something similar, if not the exact same thing!

I saw a quote this week that grieved me. “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”

Do you know who said it? The late, great Robin Williams. How can a man who brought so much joy to millions of people, live in darkness? I’m guessing he kept it hidden from the world, and it took his life. For me, that would be the ultimate Regret.

Genie…You are now free.

 

When You’re Ready

One of my Favorite Letting Go Lessons is Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships. It’s trying enough letting go of these people, but what do we do when they come back? It’s simple, but not always easy. Here are some simple steps.

1. Pick a questionable relationship in your life. One that does not align with your definition of health and well being.
2. Close your eyes, breathe and be calm.
3. Feel the presence of this person you have identified as questionable. Notice how your body responds to their presence. Take the time to get clear upon the effect they have upon you.
4. Then, answer the following questions:

a. Does this relationship make you feel balanced?
b. In what way does this relationship physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually benefit you?
c. What is the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual cost of this relationship? (I keep a journal beside me to write my answers in)

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Lastly, if there are relationships, which you know to be extremely unhealthy for you, openly listen to your Higher Power. Ask for clarity, strength and courage. If the truth is, it’s time to avoid further harm to your spiritual, emotional, mental and physical well being, then rest with that feeling until you are ready to act.

I have witnessed people openly tell the person, “I’m letting you go”. and I’ve seen them detach allowing the person to disappear. You do what’s best for you and your well-being. By you becoming a stronger, more loving person, they will most likely show up again, no matter how you let go. Verbally or quietly.

Maybe by then, you both have changed enough that it can be healthy. I leave you with two of my favorite quotes by Joyce Meyer.

“Don’t be upset about losing something. It might be putting you in the place you should have been in to begin with.” and “Sometimes God will take something away to straighten you out. He’ll give it back when you’re ready”.

Time For A Haircut

God has a plan. He promises it to be a good plan. If my life doesn’t reflect God’s goodness, then I’ve probably been working my plan, not His.  My reflection in the mirror revealed it was also time for a haircut.

I had the same hairstylist for years. She knew exactly how to cut my hair, how short to go, and how close to the edge she could step. Now that I’m an hour away, and living in the country, I have started trying hair stylists that are local. I always say the same thing, “Have fun! I like short and edgy, but just make sure I can go out in public.” They have permission to be creative.

Change is all around us. We can embrace it, or resist it, but it’s a constant in our daily life. Sometimes a change will occur, and it will alter our circumstances. By then, we feel the need to ‘fix’ our problem instead of facing what caused it. Learning to self evaluate, and make changes prior to seeing the circumstance, is a better way to live. You get to be proactive in your life and make good choices. Otherwise, life will happen to you.

So…the haircut. The stylist I met with obviously knows the secret of change. She cut my hair in a specific way, using the smallest sections at a time, to get them to lay exactly as she intended. I usually leave a salon and have to go home, and wash my hair to get it looking normal, but now, no matter how I try to style it, it lays in the fashion to which she cut it. Straight down and to the side, with a small spike at the crown. This was frustrating at first, but then realized, I gave her permission to make a change.

Once you give yourself permission to allow a change, things fall into place. As long as I continue to style it the way she intended, it’ll look great! It’s when I start messing with it, and try reverting back to the style I’m used to, it looks like a beaver has been electrocuted. Our lives have unlimited possibilities, and my God holds no limits. Today, it showed up in a haircut.