I’ve followed this woman for years, and she has no idea the impact she’s had on my life. I found her during my Breast Cancer Journey, but she was ahead of me. Reading her posts gave me an idea of what to expect. Then, she just sopped writing.
She took a two year break.
She returned this year, and so did Cancer.
Her post this morning revealed her hair falling out from the Chemo. That is a feeling that doesn’t leave. You wake up to a pillow covered in hair, and head straight to the shower, but then the water hits your head, and the hair continues falling out, clinging to your dampened skin like plastic wrap.
It’s horrendous! The shower doesn’t wash it away!
I feel like she needs some love today.
I don’t think she’s ever responded to my comments, so don’t be offended if your comment receives no reply. She doesn’t have many followers, but her writing is wrapped in beauty. Let’s take a moment, and wrap our virtual arms around Call Me Katniss.
I woke up this morning pondering the men that have passed through my life. I’ve loved them all, and still do on a certain level. As I began making changes last year, the tagline to this Blog changed, and I’m still standing firm in these words. “Let it all go, and see what stays.” God stayed.
Hoping in my truck earlier today, this song began playing on the radio. Maybe it doesn’t pertain to only the men, but everything I have let go of to bring me to this space today.
I know my heart will never be the same
But I’m telling myself I’ll be okay
Even on my weakest days,
I get a little bit stronger.
Thank you God for pulling me through, and making me stronger.
It’s odd, how you pack up your belongings, and move into a new space. It’s the same stuff you’ve had, but it finds new places to nest. This house doesn’t have a mudroom, so the dogs are fed in a breezeway. Three weeks later, they know which cabinet holds the food, and which drawer has treats.
In Bénisse Cette Maison, Laura Jinkins commented, “I am happy for you and your new adventure. I am especially happy that after such a short period of time, your new abode already feels like HOME.”Looking at her Blog this morning, she has made her house even more of a home.
Making small changes, prepare us for bigger ones.
Laura moved rooms around, and repainted them, giving her home a whole new look, and herself a new work-space. She will be inspired in her freshly painted, private space.
When your heart finds a home, your belongings follow.
Last year, my daughter had been looking at houses online for months, before finding this one. She knew it was going to be a challenge to find a home that would feed both our hearts. I enjoy quiet, and peaceful, and she longed to be near her friends, and all her favorite shops. We knew the area we desired, but where, oh where, was the house?
We drove out to the lake area, over an hour away from where we were living at the time, to look at a house on the market. It was an older home, and the best thing about it was the front door. We walked through, and went from room to room, trying out figure out how to make it work, but it wasn’t right. My daughter was getting discouraged.
If it doesn’t feel like home before you move, keep looking.
As we were driving away from that house, my daughter received an email notification of another house nearby. We stopped by, and what I saw outside, spoke to my heart.
I stood inside this Arbor, looking at the vine, and pondered, “Would we bloom at the same time?” There is another vine growing along the fence at the end of the driveway.
The landlord assured me his landscape guy would come, and clean up the weeds clinging to everything. I said, “No. These are not weeds. They are flowers waiting to bloom.”
My daughter and I are freshly planted, and when the time is right, just like these vines, we will be ready to bloom.
This morning, sitting still in the front porch swing, I felt an overwhelming sense of love. It was the most wonderful feeling. It welled up inside of me, and wanted to become tears, but I held it inside to hold onto that moment.
It only got better from there.
You know I frequent a small town coffee-house.
The coffee is a bonus. It’s the people I gravitate toward. Today, their love and kindness blew me away. God had it all lined up for me to walk in at just the right moment. The owner was making something specifically for my heart.
I walked in and he yelled, “Barbara! I am making something for you!” The timing is what amazed me, because I rarely walk in the same time of day. My daughter said, “When they know you all too well at the coffee shop?” That is true love.
He had bought a beautiful pour over, along with my favorite kettle! I was literally screaming in awe of this magnificent sight! He was beaming with excitement. It was a moment.
He said that he envisioned my daughter and I sitting at a table, sharing this moment. He would be right. Just the other day, my daughter said she wished he had a pour over.
God gave me another Patron! That is love.
A friend takes time out of her busy schedule each day to send a video of her life, and thoughts. That is love.
You are here, taking time to read this. That is love.
Where is your heart leading you? What is it saying?
In the post, To Be True, I painted a focal wall in my bedroom dark red. This past weekend it began bothering me. It felt as if it were yelling when I walked into the room.
I went to a hardware store that carries paint, and left with a sample of lavender. It was pretty, but after painting the wall, it was bright, and reminded me of a preschool nursery. Going back to the hardware store, I had a cornflower blue in mind, and left with a sample of that. It looked like Carolina Blue once applied, and was not the least amount soothing.
The 3 remaining walls of the bedroom are a pale yellow named Tea. I added some strokes of Tea to the blue and purple, and the photo below was the result. It was good for my soul to blend the 3 colors, on a wall, without any expectations. My heart said, “Leave it alone for a few days.”
Allowing myself to do this unleashed some creativity, and felt good. My daughter saw it, and gasped with excitement. It broke all the rules growing up, having to be careful around walls. I smiled at her, and encouraged her to do the same, but she’s creative in her own style with her room. She found her perfect color, so she’s creating a wall of photos.
The container the plant was in didn’t make my heart happy, so I chose one that did. That was good because it was sitting in way too much water. This plant was one of the first ones I bought, well actually the second of it’s kind, because I killed the first one.
This plant was bought before the Boston Ferns, and reflects how I felt at the time. It’s a very touchy plant. I haven’t pinpointed it’s exact need. It enjoys light, but not full on sun, and it likes to be sprayed with water, but not too much. We will see how long it lasts, because the plant doesn’t reflct any part of me anymore. After repotting the plant, I knew my color.
My daughter brought home a case of these yesterday.
This is happiness. Butter and coffee. What is not to love?
Our dog was laying by her bedroom door today, while she was on the phone. She opened her door to step out, and he moved out of the way. She asked, “Was Mochee laying by my door this whole time?” She was barefoot, and noticed the warmth of the hard wood floor where he had been laying. I love that she notices these small details of life.
Our landlord is burning brush in the field next to us, and all we can think about is wanting to roast marshmallows.
Now it is night, and I stepped out on the porch a few minutes ago. Living in the country, you always where shoes stepping out there at night. Every now and then you will find a Scorpion hanging out on the porch too. Our ginormous, white, barn cat is laying on the step. He will take down a Scorpion for the person who cares for him.
I feel more at ease with him laying there. We named this cat ‘Meh’. because he doesn’t fully meow, he just says, ‘Meh.’
Everyday is different, and I love that about our life.
At night before bed, my daughter and I talk about what we would like to accomplish the next day. It’s not set in stone. We stay flexible throughout the day, and let life flow. We make a plan, but also make adjustments where needed. If it’s that important, it will get done, but when it’s time.
I haven’t found anything more important than just spending time together, and making adjustments throughout the day for each other’s happiness.
Today is one of those days you just go with the flow of the day itself. My daughter came home yesterday, and will leave tomorrow. She has a busy couple of weeks ahead, thanks to her father, but the last thing I told her lastnight was…