The What If’s

My daughter filled the crock pot with wonderfulness yesterday. I am not sure what all it has in it, but it’s true love in a mug. Some of it was Almond milk, Espresso, pumpkin puree, maple syrup, and fall spices. I saved what was left and placed it in the fridge. We don’t own a microwave, so there was something about heating it up in a small pan on the stove that placed me directly in happiness mode.

I took time this weekend to read some Blogs I follow.

For some reason it was like some of their words jumped off the screen at me. They gave me the strength to reopen my Patreon page. A few Bloggers that I follow use Patreon. One is Little Fears. Anyone that writes about Little Fears is brave in my mind. He is usually the first Blogger to ‘like’ my posts.

After working on my Patreon page, I sent the link to a friend. She said, “I will support you!” That is not what I was expecting. I just wanted her opinion about what it said, and how it looked. It warmed my heart to know that she would.

She asked, “What if each reader gave $1?” She also reminded me, “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.”

So, I scanned through some other Patreon pages, and found one that brings in over $5,000 a month. He has over 5,000 Patrons. Her philosophy worked for him, so what if?

Personally, I wouldn’t know what to do with that much money a month. I would be able to quit my job, write full-time, and publish a book. What if that happened? I would be happier than I already am. Am I fearful of being happier than I already am? Let’s keep moving forward, and find out.

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You Haveta Wanna

This Blog post is for anyone suffering from an addiction.

To overcome the addiction, you have to want to. Your ‘want to‘ has to become bigger than it. God created us to be overcomers, and because He has overcome the world, there is nothing we cannot overcome through Him.

I give credit to AA for giving me the relationship I have with God today. The first 3 steps are all about God, and this scares some people away, but He took the desire to drink away from me. I will happily spend the rest of my life serving Him, because I get to enjoy life sober.

There will always be an excuse to drink. Someone asked me once, “How do you know you’re an alcoholic?” Because normal people can have one drink, and stop. My one drink was the entire bottle of wine. To numb the feelings that were bubbling up inside of me. When I stopped drinking, I had to feel those feelings. With sobriety there is no hiding.

When you stop drinking, you meet all the parts of yourself you have been at war with. Face them.

If I didn’t face my feelings, I would drink, but I also knew those same feelings would still be there once I sobered up again. Pouring alcohol over those feelings was a temporary fix, not to mention all the stupid stuff I did while drinking.

That just added to the horror of what I was trying to drown.

It’s no big secret how to stay sober. Go to meetings. That means I have to shower, get in my truck, and drive, and then walk into a room full of strangers. Not necessarily. You can sit in front of a computer screen in an online meeting. I did that. I also drank wine while watching what was being said in that online meeting. You cannot hide and stay sober.

My fear of waking up hungover, and not remembering what I said and did is real. I will go to any length to enjoy this life God has given me sober. My ‘want to’ is bigger than any fear.

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Me…Not Worried

I love the way God prepares me for what is next.

Everything you step out and do in life is practice.

It may not be a part of your plan, but by being willing to go forth, and just do, it will lead you onto the next thing.

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I was reminded this week, I cannot help people unless they are ready for change. It’s healthy for me today to set that boundary, and step away. I cannot save souls by posting on Social Media. It may make them feel better for a moment, but that is just a band-aid for something that runs deeper.

God gave me an idea on Monday, so this is day 3 of praying, pondering, and asking questions. I’m gonna move forward with it and see what happens. It is something I’ve done before, and it’s normally successful, but even if it’s not hugely successful, it helps others, and causes me to become better.

The biggest thing God has prepared me for recently is, not having Internet since Saturday. A short time ago, I would have come unglued. Slowly becoming disenchanted with technology, and letting go of all that a phone can do, has brought me to this peaceful space. The Internet will be back, but it’s nice to know, I’ve been able to enjoy life without it.

Turn the Page

It feels like a new chapter unfolding in our lives.

She wrote, and published her first Blog post today.

She has always been a gifted writer. Maybe that is why she encouraged me to begin this Blog years ago, because she knew how enjoyable it would be. It was a seed in her heart.

She’s had a WordPress account for over a year, and yesterday talked about writing a Blog. It made me smile. Today, she typed one up, added some of her beautiful photographs, and hit publish. I asked God to please let someone read it. It’s had several views, and likes. We needed this today, so glory to God, and thank you WordPress community.

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Ready to Bloom

healI was on my way to an AA meeting yesterday, and stopped by to see Stephanie. She is my plant Guru. I’m not sure she realizes the magnificent healing she has brought to my life through these plants she encouraged me to bring home. It was time to buy my first one that would bloom. I spotted a pot that made me smile, and the plant we chose is big!

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Yes. I blew my Saturday budget on a pot and plant. No regrets.

She told me it is a good plastic one, but it looked real!

On the way home, I stopped at a small Farmer’s Market.

There is something about people sitting in 100 degree heat, that deserve our attention. A young lady was sitting at a table filled with bottles of honey. We began talking, and she invited me to her church. I listened as she told me more.

What made my ears perk was a study they have on Wednesday nights. It’s by Beth Moore, entitled, “Believing God.” I did this study years ago, and it was enlightening.

Believing God is what I’ve been doing, but it would be nice to do the study again. She is going to text me a reminder, but I was standing there because of the label on her honey.

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Aren’t we supposed to Bee Love? I believe so.

As I was walking away she said, “I am looking for a mentor! A Godly woman I can model my life after.” I didn’t respond, but Wednesday night I will be at that study. I hear you God.

This journey  began with my daughter wanting Boston Ferns.

As I was leaving Stephanie’s, she said the main thing people ask her is how to grow a Boston Fern. The thought intimidated me too, but they are huge now! I told her about mine, and she said, “If you can grow a Boston Fern, you are the bomb!” All I did was care. I hugged Stephanie and said, “You make my life more beautiful.” She exclaimed, “That made my day!” She helped give me my beautiful life back.

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Double bloom Pink Hibiscus and Mochee.

God knows when we are ready to bloom. Can you feel it?.

Breaking Heart Strings

July has taught me what makes the heart happy, and sad.

Making up my bed this morning, and catching a glimpse of the Happiness sign, I stopped making it up, and changed the sheets. That made my heart happy. They will feel good tonight.

Detachment is a word commonly used in Letting Go. Today, I saw the word, ‘Unattached’, and that felt softer. Detachment always left me feeling cold, and that’s not me.

I imagined strings attached to my heart, and they would attach to another heart, or circumstance. Anything that made the heart happy. When something occurs that made the heart sad, a string would break, and fall away. Over time with repetition, the heart becomes unattached. What used to excite the heart doesn’t phase it now. The strings are gone.

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The Sad Shelf

When my daughter and I go to a garden center, we take a look at the sad shelf. This is the shelf of plants, drastically reduced in price from over-watering. They all look sad.

Maybe that is why I started caring for plants. If I could care for them properly, and give them a healthy environment, then I could do the same for me. The plants and I are growing.

The people traveling with us on our journey should add to our happiness. If we are not surrounded by happiness, it’s time to take a look at the people we allowed onto our path.

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There is a role for everyone we meet, but how healthy are they? How well they care for themselves, is how well they care for you. The sad shelf is not a pretty place to be.

The Don’t Wants

To discover what I want, I journey through the don’t wants.

Earlier this week, I walked into the kitchen wanting coffee.

I had set the machine up the night before, but instead, there was black liquid oozing all over the kitchen counter. The pot wasn’t fully engaged to allow the hot liquid to flow. The basket inside was filled with water, and grinds were everywhere. It was not pretty, so after cleaning up the mess, the coffee maker went into a cabinet. The don’t wants.

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This is pretty.

Really good coffee beans deserve to be fresh pressed.

When our hearts are happy, we know what we want.

 

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Now my morning coffee is relatively ceremonial.

We recognize our wants, when we realize our don’t wants.

I Planted Weeds

Earlier this week, I went to see my friend Stephanie.

She gave me the courage to try my hand at plants again.

I took one look at her wrought iron fencing, and fell in love.

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It’s a weed, but look at how delicate the greenery is. It has tiny red flowers that bloom in the shape of a trumpet. Walking into the shop, I found Stephanie and asked her about it. She said it comes up every year, but this was my first time seeing it. She saw the look in my eyes, and said, “Come on! Lemme get the water hose, and I’ll dig you some up!”

She gave me plenty to bring home and plant, and I planted it along the fence facing the bedroom windows. I am not sure how I went from nurturing and growing plants, to planting weeds, but I like it. To lay across my bed, and gaze out the window at it will be peaceful. It just needs to take root to grow. Her’s were growing under rocks, so they are tough.

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I’ve been reading Melody Beattie a lot lately. She is ahead of me on this journey of finding yourself, but we have similar hearts. Here are some of her words that resonated with me.

“Be still and know that I am God. Stillness is a place. Become familiar with stillness. Take time to learn it’s power.” Stillness is found when being still, and becoming present in that moment.

“Find a balance that is right for you.”

“Become sensitive to your needs.”

“Inhale, receive. Exhale, give back.”

“Clear resentments from your heart.”

“Learn to be calm.”

“All you have to do about your feelings is feel them.”

“Embrace each cycle of your life.” This is where she talks about aging. I agree with Melody, that when you hit 50, you begin the second half of your life. Let’s see what that looks like.

“The answers are in your heart. Go back~think~when was your heart it’s happiest? Go back to your heart. It will always lead you home.” Home is where the heart is. I’m going home.

Choose to Connect

My daughter arrived home yesterday from her Father’s, and we fell asleep together while talking. When she was a child, she wasn’t allowed to crawl in bed with us. My mother never let me, so I felt it was important for my daughter in becoming self-sufficient. Mama would always walk me back to my bed, tuck me in and leave. She would do it as many times as needed in one night, and it taught me that Mama was there, but I could sleep on my own. My daughter is self sufficient.

At almost 18, she made a choice to stay put, and sleep.

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It really is the little thing in life, that are big things to me.

Okay lovelies, I promised to share what I learned last weekend, by stepping away from Social Media. My phone is still inactive, and it will most likely be reactivated later on this week, but this is interesting. It’s not about the phone, as much as what it can do. For me, it’s about the connection.

I thought about calling my sister, but oh…my phone is dead. Lol If you are confused as to what’s going on, please read It’s a Choice. I made a choice not to pay my phone bill last week.

My phone didn’t have any service, but it would still connect to WiFi, so I wasn’t disconnected from my friends. We messaged one another using Facebook messenger all weekend. The thing I missed about my phone was calling my sister. She chooses not to own a computer, but the reason shocked me. You know why she doesn’t have a computer?

Fear.

My sister lives in North Carolina, which is a ways from Texas. She enjoys her privacy, like I do, but she has different reasons. She has let the fear of the corrupt part of this world to keep her from enjoying the connection. She is afraid someone will steal all her personal information, and or identity.

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By not having a computer, she is missing so many life moments. She could video chat her son that lives in New York, and see his face. She has never read any of my Blogs, or seen Letitgocoach Facebook page. She admitted that she loves using Google on a friend’s computer when they visit, so that is as a good sign. You go Google! I encouraged her to go look at some, buy one, and I would help her set it up.

Sometimes, I have to make a choice where to spend my money, but my sister doesn’t. To spend money on my phone bill, or go sit at my favorite coffee shop with friends, is an easy choice. Maybe we need to put the word, “Mobile”, back in front of ‘phone’, because that is what it is. It allows a connection while being mobile. When I go mobile, I have become accustomed to leaving my phone at home.

So, this got me to thinking. How can I become more real in the virtual world? Facebook has made all these fancy advancements in technology, so the tools are there. The only thing stopping me was me. It’s been 3 years since Letitgocoach was born, and no one has seen her. Writing about everyday life, and seeing it are two different things.

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Yesterday, I was mopping my floors, and it became clear what to do. Mandy Hunter popped into mind. Mandy is a huge inspiration, and we have a special bond, because we are so much alike. Mandy has a popular Facebook page called One2One Healing, and that is how we met. One day, I hope to meet her in person, but the woman lives in Ireland!

Mandy started doing ‘live streams.’ She goes to the beach, or hikes through the woods, and takes us with her virtually! It’s an amazing feeling, and it’s like we are there with her! We can talk with her during it because it’s happening live!

“Mandy uses her phone”, I thought, but I have a laptop.

Is it a choice, or a fear that needs to be faced?

Look around you, and choose to connect.