A Better Life, Letting Go, Love, Present Moment

It’s Not Easy

Sitting with my morning coffee, reading Blogs that I follow, I noticed one Blogger making changes in her life. She updated her Blogsite lastnight, and used the same cover photo as me.

It didn’t bother me one bit. I smiled, and felt happy for her.

We have been talking about using what God gave you, and using the tools at hand. When you acquire a Blogsite from WordPress, they give you more than you need to get started.

They offer options to use what they have, or create your own.

I updated my site at the beginning of the year, so I used the tools they gave me. That was before I began making Memes again. I lost confidence in making Memes because the website didn’t have much to offer. Now that the site is updated, it’s more fun, and allows me to practice. It’s not perfectionism anymore. It’s about striving to become better.

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First stab at the cover photo.

A while back, a woman who has been with me from the very beginning, sent a Meme to my Facebook timeline. It said the above quote, but this is not the actual Meme. I tried to make it look like the original, but failed. The original Meme wasn’t big enough to be used as a cover photo, so this is what transpired. I didn’t feel I did it justice, so in the trash it went.

Danielle is a young, single Mother that loves God. She has so much life in her, but life knocks her down at times. We met through Facebook, and she sends me a Meme every now, and then. She knows my love for God, people, and Memes.

I just couldn’t let it go, knowing it could be better.

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Try #2.

This one wouldn’t line up correctly in the space provided for the cover photo. Plus, it’s hard to read the white font.

This was already taking everything I had in me, to use the quote, much less make the Meme. Taking compliments is not easy for me. I was afraid people would think I was bragging when they saw this. When Danielle first sent it to me, I just sat there and stared at the screen. It took all day to comment, and approve it to my timeline for everyone to see.

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Try #3.

I got away from using the blue background all together.

This felt more soothing. I like pink, but then you could really see the quote. So, I stopped trying, and used a cover photo that WordPress offered. It was pretty, and worked for now.

Some people say I’m being a perfectionist. It doesn’t feel like it has to be perfect. I’m not sure what ‘perfect’ looks like. It does have to be done right, and to the best of my ability. That is my standard, but I had to let go of the outcome.

When I began encouraging people on social media, that was the only goal.  I wanted to touch at least one soul that needed encouragement. Not to become famous, or in the spotlight. My goal hasn’t changed, but the people have.

The video I posted 3 days ago, has almost 1,000 views, and has reached almost 3,000 people. That is exciting, yet terrifying at the same time but, it’s not about the numbers. Oh yes, I used to look at them, but quickly learned, people are not a number. They are souls in need of refreshment.

The video prompted a lot of comments, but there were a couple that were hard to swallow. This comment said, “Thank you. Many of your posts helped to encourage me as I dealt with my husband’s passing last year, and once again, becoming my own individual. You probably have no idea how many lives you’ve effected in similar ways.” Gulp.

It took all day to respond. Just like Danielle’s post, but I did manage a heartfelt “Thank you.” It was all I could say at the time, and prolonging the response would have been rude. Maybe it took as much courage for her to say it, as it did for me to respond. Either way, my goal was met. I knew I had impacted at least one life, and others from the comments.

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Updated background and font. Added #1 fan, because she is.

This morning I took another stab at making a cover photo.

I felt like I was doing Danielle an injustice by not using it.

She made herself vulnerable enough to say it, so I needed to receive it. This quote reminds me why I’m here, and my goal has already been met. Every tool we use, gives God something to use. When we step out and do all we can do, it gives God more to work with. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Letting Go, Moving On, Present Moment

Choose to Connect

My daughter arrived home yesterday from her Father’s, and we fell asleep together while talking. When she was a child, she wasn’t allowed to crawl in bed with us. My mother never let me, so I felt it was important for my daughter in becoming self-sufficient. Mama would always walk me back to my bed, tuck me in and leave. She would do it as many times as needed in one night, and it taught me that Mama was there, but I could sleep on my own. My daughter is self sufficient.

At almost 18, she made a choice to stay put, and sleep.

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It really is the little thing in life, that are big things to me.

Okay lovelies, I promised to share what I learned last weekend, by stepping away from Social Media. My phone is still inactive, and it will most likely be reactivated later on this week, but this is interesting. It’s not about the phone, as much as what it can do. For me, it’s about the connection.

I thought about calling my sister, but oh…my phone is dead. Lol If you are confused as to what’s going on, please read It’s a Choice. I made a choice not to pay my phone bill last week.

My phone didn’t have any service, but it would still connect to WiFi, so I wasn’t disconnected from my friends. We messaged one another using Facebook messenger all weekend. The thing I missed about my phone was calling my sister. She chooses not to own a computer, but the reason shocked me. You know why she doesn’t have a computer?

Fear.

My sister lives in North Carolina, which is a ways from Texas. She enjoys her privacy, like I do, but she has different reasons. She has let the fear of the corrupt part of this world to keep her from enjoying the connection. She is afraid someone will steal all her personal information, and or identity.

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By not having a computer, she is missing so many life moments. She could video chat her son that lives in New York, and see his face. She has never read any of my Blogs, or seen Letitgocoach Facebook page. She admitted that she loves using Google on a friend’s computer when they visit, so that is as a good sign. You go Google! I encouraged her to go look at some, buy one, and I would help her set it up.

Sometimes, I have to make a choice where to spend my money, but my sister doesn’t. To spend money on my phone bill, or go sit at my favorite coffee shop with friends, is an easy choice. Maybe we need to put the word, “Mobile”, back in front of ‘phone’, because that is what it is. It allows a connection while being mobile. When I go mobile, I have become accustomed to leaving my phone at home.

So, this got me to thinking. How can I become more real in the virtual world? Facebook has made all these fancy advancements in technology, so the tools are there. The only thing stopping me was me. It’s been 3 years since Letitgocoach was born, and no one has seen her. Writing about everyday life, and seeing it are two different things.

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Yesterday, I was mopping my floors, and it became clear what to do. Mandy Hunter popped into mind. Mandy is a huge inspiration, and we have a special bond, because we are so much alike. Mandy has a popular Facebook page called One2One Healing, and that is how we met. One day, I hope to meet her in person, but the woman lives in Ireland!

Mandy started doing ‘live streams.’ She goes to the beach, or hikes through the woods, and takes us with her virtually! It’s an amazing feeling, and it’s like we are there with her! We can talk with her during it because it’s happening live!

“Mandy uses her phone”, I thought, but I have a laptop.

Is it a choice, or a fear that needs to be faced?

Look around you, and choose to connect.

 

Present Moment, Quality of life

Live and Learn

Today will be spent painting the wood trim in my daughter’s bedroom. Since she recently painted the walls a light color, the trim looks like a gross white, instead of bright white.

To some, this may not sound like fun, but I love it.

I’m no painter, but there is something about holding a good trim brush, and paint. You become one with the tools in hand. Make it a meditative stance, instead of a chore. When my daughter comes home, her room will have a lighter, brighter feel, and I will have a feeling of accomplishment.

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You can do anything you want to do.

Just like making Memes. I had no formal education on how to do it. Building a Facebook page for this Blog, was how it began. My Blogs post automatically from this site, but I didn’t want the page to show only Blogs. That is what my Twitter account looks like, because I spend no time there. Hah!

To break it up, I saw Memes that were pretty, and filled with encouragement. Other people’s Meme’s inspired me to learn. I will be forever learning, because the only limitation is me.

Be inspired today Lovelies. Do something for your soul.

Talking with a friend yesterday, she asked if I had any vacation plans for the summer. That is something I rarely think about. My life feels like a vacation everyday, so I told her, “I’ve created a life I don’t need a vacation from.” She gasped and said, “I want to do that!” I assured her she could.

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My life as a Meme.

You can do anything you want to do, if you want to enough.

I believe in you.  ❤

A Better Life, Present Moment, Quality of life

It’s a Choice

Since deciding to take a Social Media fast, some friends have called me out. Facebook detects a connection, and is telling on me. To stay connected to my daughter while she is at her Father’s this weekend, we’ve used Messenger. Facebook Messenger is an app that is  made by Facebook, but is separate. So, nope. I have not posted one Meme.

For me, it’s not about disconnecting from people. I love people, so why would I do that? Maintaining social media sites take a lot of time, and energy. So much so, someone created automation to do it for you. Again, what fun is that?

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It all started with my phone. Sometimes the bill is due before the weekend, and before payday. I get paid on Monday’s, so I get to choose. Do I want an active phone, or money for the weekend? I choose having money to spend, over my phone.

I’ve used Cricket phone service for 5 years, and it works. There are no contracts, and you just pay month to month. No re-connection, or late fees, just pay when you need it.

The phone turns into a blingy paperweight, and I’m out the door. An iced latte would hit the spot, so I hop in my truck, and drive 10 minutes down the road to Chapparal Coffee.

This young couple moved from Austin, TX, to open this coffee bar, and his name is Austin! He has the best vibe, and it’s pure joy just walking in the door. Coffee and I have a serious relationship, and I have learned a lot at Chapparal. I go there several times a week for the coffee, and the people.

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Austin at Chapparal Coffee, Lockhart, TX.

His wife brings in wildflowers, so there are always flowers. Walking in today, Austin had just finished installing a couple of beer taps, but not for beer. Oh no lovely. This is magical!

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I could not believe what I was seeing. Ginger Beer!!!!

The one soft drink that I drink is is Ginger Ale. I have some almost every night in a frosted glass. Being an alcoholic, with almost 20 years of sobriety, (thank you God), I would order Ginger Ale if I met friends at a bar. The bartender would make it using fresh ginger, and it kills the bottled soft drink.

Austin handed me a glass to try, and it was unbelievable! Like an ice-cold mouthful of fresh ginger with fizz! The Kombucha is green tea with fruit, so I fell in love with that too! I grabbed half a pound of coffee beans, (which lasts us a week), a Kombucha, and Ginger beer for later. Money spent was $14.00. Not to mention the fellowship, love and laughter.

Some friends scoff at me for spending money on high quality coffee. “Being a single Mom with a part-time income, how do you do that?” I’m going to drink coffee, so it might as well be a life experience. The coffee costs a little more than the grocery store brands, but it’s well worth the extra dollars.

Experimenting in the kitchen on the weekends is a newfound love. The last time I went to the local grocery store, they had some huge basil plants on display. My daughter and I chuckled at how big they were! I’ve been wanting to try this Basil Hummus recipe, so instead of paying $3.98 per packet for a few fresh Basil leaves, I opted to buy this guy for $9.00.

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Is that Basil, or did Jack misplace his beanstalk?

It should bring plenty of Basil Hummus and fresh Pesto!

Since trying my hand at the Boston Ferns, (which shout out to the lady who left a comment with tips), this spoke to me today. I have a planter full of dirt sitting on my porch from last years plant demise, but we’re gonna give this Basil a go.

When I went in the store to pay for the Basil, I took a walk through the flower department. Fresh flowers are a love of mine and my daughters, but not just any flower. We have a few that are special to us, and this time of year is for Peonies.

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This little bundle cost $6.00. They will be fully opened by the time my daughter gets home, which will double the joy.

These choices bring more meaning and beauty to my weekend than my phone. I’m grateful to be able to choose over technology, and to think. It all began with a Meme.

A Better Life, Flying Free, Letting Go, Present Moment

Timing and Expectations

My daughter has left to go visit her Father, so let the weekend begin! Let’s see how long it takes her to realize, she left her favorite CD’s in the CD player at home. Thank you Darling!

As she drove away, I turned on the stereo to listen to this song I’ve been bingeing on for a month. You can hear it on Feel the Music. This song soothes me even though it makes the house vibrate. Gotta love a good stereo, and sub woofer.

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This weekend I am taking a social media fast. Social Media and I have had a long loved, and unloved relationship. It has been good for me, and not so good. Spending the weekends, doing whatever I wanna, the timing feels right to take this break. Will let you know next week what it taught me.

Life has a lot to do with timing, and expectations. They are our teachers. I have high expectations for myself, but realize everyone’s expectations vary. We can be our own worst enemy, so my weekends are spent being extra kind to myself.

Something social media has given me are Memes. Friends tease me about my life being one, big Meme. I love them, and will eventually make a Meme compiled with all my favorite quotes, but I almost allowed a complete stranger turn me against them altogether. This happened a year ago.

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Searching for Memes to post on Letitgocoach Facebook page, I was becoming burned out over seeing the same ones. There had to be better, and more, is what I felt in my heart. I found an online software that was free, and user-friendly, and began making my own, like the one above.

My heart was right, but I had no clue what I was doing. All I knew was, they should be pretty, and say something that you don’t see everyday. Looking for Memes to share, there were times the saying was almost what I wanted, but not quite. Or, I would find the perfect one, and it would have a typo in it.

This online software was not the best, or the most popular to use, but it was simple. It had limited choices for font, and pics. It didn’t stop me though. Between my daughter’s photography, and Google, I could find pics. The software provided freedom to share whatever I felt led to share, but they didn’t look like ordinary Memes. Here’s one of the first.

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One of my first Memes.

One of my favorite meditative readings is a book by Melodie Beattie entitled, “Journey to the Heart: Daily meditations on the Path to Freedom.” Googling quotes from the book, pulled up very few Memes, but that is what I wanted to share. It wasn’t going to change the world, but it could make a difference. Then, in walked the stranger with my lesson.

My Facebook page was growing, and this guy that owns a couple of pages decided he would help me out. He sent a message, and here it is copied and pasted in it’s original format. His personal info has been omitted for anonymity. “If I may suggest, your messages are great, just need to work little on your images. Use picmonkey for editing images Pixabay for images and pintrest for free fonts and quotes.”

I thanked him for his advice, and did more research. Was his comment discouraging, or encouraging? I saw it as both.

This caused my insecurity of knowing the Memes were not perfect, to grow. Having done research beforehand, I knew of his suggestions, and they were not what I wanted. The one I was using was simple, and had everything right there, it just needed to offer more. Shortly after his message, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer , so I stopped making Memes.

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From SC Lourie’s journal, “How the Light Gets Out.”

One year later, and full circle. Looking through SC Lourie’s journal, and wanting to share. I pulled up the Meme software to see if they had made any changes, or if it still existed. There it was with many new enhancements. It just took time. They know they have a good thing going, but they also know it can always be better. The one above is for my new Blog.

It’s not about being perfect, or pleasing other people. It’s about what makes YOU happy. Learning to take constructive criticism is a work in progress, but it makes me want to do better, and be the best I can be. Making memes is fun, and it’s one of the best, and free ways to advertise who you are.

Just for grins, I Googled Letitgocoach, clicked on images, and there they are! A lot of what has been posted here, or used on Letitgocoach Facebook is displayed on Google. Even some of the early ones! (slight cringe) Well, here ya go Google. Latch onto one of my faves! Much love lovelies!

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A Better Life, Present Moment, Quality of life

The Wanna List

It was a beautiful weekend. I stayed home, and did whatever made my heart happy. It’s refreshing at this stage of my life to have no more ‘to do’ list. Instead, there is a ‘wanna’ list.

Throughout the day, I would see something that could to be done, and ask myself, “Do I wanna do that?” My daughter painted the walls of her bedroom last week, so now the trim looks dingy. The man at the paint store gave her a quart of, ‘Whitest White’, to try. Did I wanna paint trim, and surprise her when she arrived home from her Dad’s? Not really.

I grabbed a wooden plant stand she has in her room, and took it to the porch. My vision was to paint it using the white to see if she wanted something that bright in her room, before painting miles of trim. Dipping the paint brush into the can, and doing light strokes across the top shelf, it didn’t cover the surface completely. You could see the original color peeping through, which complimented her room as is.  I continued with light strokes on all three shelves, and boom!

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It took all of 10 minutes, and I believe she will be pleased.

That is how I spent the weekend. Giving my life a light touch.

In the post entitled, Dream While Awake, we talk about de-cluttering, and making room for more. We already have more than enough ‘things’ lovely, so that’s not the point.

It really is de-cluttering our minds, and hearts, to make room for more of what brings us joy! You can see from the picture, my daughter is into plants. She has collected a few easy ones, because neither of us have good luck with them. We love them to death. Literally. Plants take a light, loving touch.

This Spring, my daughter had a vision for our front porch. We have two hooks to hang plants from, and she requested Boston Ferns. My initial reaction was, “I can probably kill those quickly!” I have never been able to keep one alive, but my guess would be, I tried too hard. Like a lot of things in my life before now. I bought one, hung it on the porch, and she was happy. It’s been easy to care for, but she gently reminded me there is one more hook. This weekend, I gazed at the empty hook, and just knew it didn’t need to be empty.

I gave myself time with the one and only fern. Telling myself, “If I can keep it alive and flourishing, it would receive a companion.” My daughter’s vision has become a reality.

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My daughter and I are so well connected, the things that make my heart happy, make her heart happy too. Speaking of heart happy. This will make your heart soar. SC Lourie’s new journal, “How the Light Gets Out,” is available now! This journal is so beautiful, I have been carrying it from room to room for over a month. You can view and purchase it here.

This journal brings me joy! SC Lourie is one of my favorite writer’s and she’s an inspiration to me. You may know her as ButterfliesandPebbles. The pages of her journal are so beautiful, I haven’t felt led to write in it! It’s not that I’m afraid to use it because I surely will, but it waters my soul just as it is.

Lastnight, as my weekend was coming to a close, I sat and flipped through the pages. When I saw this page, I was happy to see we were on the same page. Hah! (Good pun). SC Lourie had summed up my weekend, and my life. It says, “What do you wanna, darling?” I’ll just leave that here.

Present Moment, Quality of life

Call Me Lucy

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Lucy and Ethel. What is not to love about these women.

The very best of friends indeed. They had each other’s back! Between these two ladies, you can call me Lucy. My daughter and I are best friends, but through the years, God has placed adult best friends in my life, one at a time. God knows Ethel is needed close by. She is the logical one that says, “That is not a good idea Lucy.”, or “What’d you do now Lucy?”

Ethel protects me from myself, and she gets to laugh a lot.

The definition of Friend by Oxford Dictionary: “A person whom one knows, and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.” My fave part is ‘mutual affection.’ A friend should feel the same about you as you do them. The level of affection varies, but it should be mutual affection. It will grow, and evolve over time, or it won’t, and that’s okay!

likesyouanywayWhen is the last time you looked at your friends list?

Mine receives a yearly going through, but God has been prompting me to clean all areas of my life recently, so the ‘friends list’ received a comb through a few days ago.

It was sweet going through the list! Seeing the faces of people who have impacted my life is some way. We may not share everyday life, but we share mutual affection. At some point in our lives, we have had one another’s back. Out of 367 ‘friends’, only three were ‘unfriended.’ My friends list is not huge, but it’s real. Looking over it was reminiscent.

We can enjoy an endless number of friends! There’s not always a list, like on Social Media, but there is only one Lucy, and one Ethel. One, my lovely, is all that’s needed.

A Better Life, Present Moment, Quality of life

Hopes and Dreams

Hopes and dreams. Otherwise, our lives merely exist.

My life is evolving. Much has changed in the past month, and even more in the past week! “The Love Button“, spoke about the opportunity on Facebook to give and receive love. This caused me to take a look at my personal Facebook timeline.

My personal timeline has become my virtual ‘dream board’.

A dream board is commonly used among Entrepreneurs. Years ago, we cut pictures from magazines, and attached them to poster-board. Once complete, the board would be filled with photos, displaying a life beyond our wildest dreams! Today we have technology so,  “Hello 2017.”

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This photo popped up on my Facebook news-feed. My heart ran as fast as it could into that photo! My life is simple, so skip the fancy couch. A Yoga mat, or pillow will do just fine. The view is what made my heart squeal with delight!

To live by the sea is a ‘hope and dream’ of mine.

The photo was posted by a Facebook page entitled, Hopes and Dreams, and was ‘liked’, by me immediately. A beautiful soul is behind this page, and we have become fast friends! God can work through photos to reveal what’s in our hearts!

For the past month a handful of Facebook pages, and the people behind them, have caused my heart to sing! Another page is Love Notes. This woman is full of love, hence the name. After hanging out with these ladies for just a few weeks, my timeline became a literal dream-board! This morning, Hopes and Dreams posted this quote by Jung.

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God gives revelation in yearly increments. Once 30 years had passed, I knew my life would change. At the age of 35, my daughter was born, and by 40, my marriage was an unhealthy space for everyone involved. After trying to make it work for 8 more years, God opened a door for us to leave. At 48, my daughter and I began our new life together, with God.

Seeing this quote by Jung stirred up memories. My life continues to change, but is it my life changing, or my soul?  Photos on Facebook, and the people posting them, have helped tap open my heart, and awaken dreams. You can see it on my timeline. My soul is awake as well. ‘Hope’, is what keeps us here, but ‘Dreams’ are where the soul wants to go.

To be continued on Bentnotbroken.net

God, Present Moment, Quality of life

The ‘Love’ Button

Do you use Facebook to love on people? They don’t make it easy anymore, because they control how many people your post will reach. Maybe they should hand me that button!

This made me think of the Wizard of Oz. You remember the man behind the curtain? He was controlling what Dorothy and gang were seeing as this all-powerful Wizard. He was running a machine that projected an image of the wizard. So, somebody behind the Facebook machine has set the algorithms to reach only a certain amount of people.

For example, Letigocoach Facebook page has drastically dropped in reach. Thank God that page was created, and grew before Facebook put a cap on it. Today, when I post it be like, “Letitgocoach continues posting encouragement! Almost 2 Billion people would could be reached, but we’re only going to allow 5,000.” Well, high-five Facebook!

Your new ‘love’ button in the comments section will work!

The love button! Not only can you ‘love’ what people post, but now you can express ‘love’ in the comment section as well. Way to go Facebook! Let’s spread some love!!!!

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Aren’t we here to spread love? God can use Social Media!

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WordPress needs a ‘love’ button. When reading a Blog on WordPress, often times it’s more than just a ‘like’, which is the only option available. In the comment section below, I’ve began writing, “LOVE button needed”, just to let the writer know, it’s more than a ‘like’. Maybe if we all started doing this, WordPress would see it, and add the ‘love’ button.

God has protected me on Facebook. The Letitgocoach page has been there for years, and not one person has left a hateful comment. That’s probably God protecting them. “Don’t do it Mama! Don’t do it!”, as my daughter would say.

We all need love. Even in the form of a button. Love flows through the fingertips, so it makes sense to press a button. People press every kind of button on Facebook! Hah! (Good one) The most lovable people have been placed in my life thanks to God working through Social Media. Often times we post to one another’s page as an expression of love.

Mah people know Facebook is uninstalled from my phone. (Boundaries) The only way these loving gestures are seen is by logging onto a laptop. Early this morning I logged on, and the pic below was on my timeline. God sent this woman through Facebook. She is a Coach, and a beloved friend, but she lives in Nevada, so we met thanks to Facebook.

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Because this is stunning, just like you! ~Sarah Reno Baker~

The photo, and her words took my breath away! PRETTY!

It’s difficult to accept compliments, so after seeing this on my timeline, I clicked the ‘love’ button underneath, and sent her a private message. The picture was breathtaking enough, but the words Sarah wrote in the caption below the pic, rendered me speechless. My finger reached up and pressed the heart. Let’s give God some Glory for the love button!

God, Present Moment

Hungry for God

IMG_20161128_104228Stork showed up this morning. He was perched right here, on the railing of this pier. He felt me watching, turned his head and stared straight back!

The stare was an acknowledgement. “You are sitting still, watching, and I have your full attention. Good!” It was scary, but exciting at the same time! If you don’t know the significance of the Great Blue Heron in my life, you can read more here. Stork has always been my sign from God that I’m right where He wants me.

Opening my morning meditation it read, “You are on the path of my choosing.

I’m visiting the lake, so I don’t have the luxury of my daughters ‘thumpin’ stereo. Opening a new tab, I can listen to a song from our Feel the Music series. YouTube recommended the Acoustic version below. It’s more clear.

 

I wanna go back, and show you what God’s been doing in my life, but there’s no need to go back. A few weeks ago, my voice became a roar! Now, this Blog has been all about God, and what He has done in my life, but now He’s getting more specific. I made a new category entitled, “When she became the fire”, so I won’t forget.

God has been working on me with the details. Wanting me to write it down, but wait on His timing to share. I don’t remember things very well. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember. Hah! (Good pun Barb!!)  My Soul has been whispering, and I was listening, but then I’d forget. That still small voice was saying, “Write it down.”

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This journal is what I used to write everything down while sitting in the doctor’s offices. They were telling me ‘the plan’ for my Breast Cancer. This journal was new to me, just like the word, Cancer. It brought me comfort, and joy to hold it in my hands, even if I couldn’t bring myself to write. “The outside of this journal is what spoke to me, but the inside is just as beautiful!”

I’m filling pages in that journal to share, but need to wait on God’s timing. Right now, someone has been patiently waiting for me to finish writing this post, so we can go eat lunch. I’m hungry, so I need to stop here. Maybe that is how all of this began. I was just hungry.

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