Category: Present Moment

To Be Missed

My daughter’s boyfriend is from Missouri. They spent 7 days together over Christmas break. She drove him to the airport yesterday, and returned home with a tear stained face.

They have maintained this long distance relationship for 15 months. He is 19, and she is 17, but they are mature for their ages. I’m encouraging her to write about how they do this.

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When she came home yesterday evening, I just gave her some space. She cried some more, and I took her tissues. I wanted her to cry and much as she needed, and to feel what was going on. Missing someone is a painful experience, but I would rather have someone to miss than to not. I told her, “It’s good that you miss him. I would be worried if you didn’t.”

Thanks to the almighty airline miles, they get to see one another often. Maybe not as much as they would like, but I believe they are blessed. Once every two, or three months, they reconnect face to face. Their love for one another comes easily, and is refreshing to watch.

I believe that is the way it should be. Love should come easily.

I know people that will have a hard time receiving love because of their idea of how they should be loved. What if you let go of those ideas, and just allowed yourself to be loved? I believe you would be pleasantly surprised how simple it is. This doesn’t mean downsizing your values, but you may need to let go of some expectations on what love should look like.

Ephesians 4:2 says, “Be completely humble, and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” I have found this to be true. Humble, gentle, patient and bearing.

My daughter will see her guy again soon. In the meantime, they will live their lives to the best of their ability, but keep a space in their hearts for one another. It’s good to be missed.

 

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Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of this year that she has Breast Cancer. She has completed Chemo, and is starting Radiation. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

Calling Myself Out

I wrote a Blog lastnight thinking I would publish it this morning. It was everything I wanted to say at the moment. When I pulled it up today, I thought it needed some help.

Sometimes I make life more difficult than it should be.

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I love being in a New Year. I look at it as 365 new opportunities. Every new day, brings new possibilities. To stretch myself, I want to write a Blog a day. Now, a lot of writers do this in January, so it’s no big deal. When you write what’s on your heart, you must believe God is going to put something there to write about each day. This morning, He gave me three!

I had the one from yesterday poised to be published, and He put two more on my heart as I was driving to Radiation. Getting ready and out the door early every morning has turned into a very sweet time for me. I almost changed my appointment time for tomorrow, so I wouldn’t be so rushed, but I didn’t want to miss out. God is using that time for His Glory.

When I was going through Chemo, it was rough being a writer. A friend asked me the other day if I wrote much during that phase. No…I did not. My mind was full of things to write, but I couldn’t get them to a page. That darling Chemo brain was a challenge for sure, but I am grateful that has passed. Now, if I can just let these Blogs flow, and stay out of the way.

Just like the Blog I wrote lastnight. I felt an urge to post it, but I have never posted two Blogs in one day. You’ve heard the expression, “Use it or lose it?” That is what happens.

If I don’t use it as soon as God puts it on my heart, I will mess with it until it loses all validity. This is my year to Speak Your Heart. I will trust God to fill it, and let it flow.

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Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of this year that she has Breast Cancer. She has completed Chemo, and is starting Radiation. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

It’s Your Choice

A lady friend stopped by unannounced for a visit. She just needed a listening ear. When she was ready to go home, she opened the door, looked at me and said, “I want what you have.”

What I have is due to an unstoppable God, and the choices I’ve made.

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Maybe she also saw what I don’t have. I don’t have drama in my life. That didn’t happen by accident. I refuse to associate with drama-filled people. My friend was sitting in my den, thoroughly exhausted from life. As I listened intently, it dawned on me, everything that was making her tired was because of choices she had made. Her choices were making life hard.

Life is not hard. It shouldn’t be a struggle. I believe we have the power to make it hard.

Life is a privilege, and is meant to be enjoyed. I am filled with peace.

33 I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.] John 16:33Amplified Bible (AMP)

That is what I believe my friend wanted that I have. No matter what life throws at me, it’s not worth the price of peace. No matter how life changes, God never does. He is faithful, and wants the very best for us. He doesn’t need our help like we so often think He does.

My friend had made her choices based on other people’s choices. That is never good. I am sure she was trying to help, and make their life better. In result, her life felt hard, because she was doing more for others than for herself. Other people choices are their choices.

It stops there. This is how life teaches us what needs to change.

Don’t make choices for your life based on someone else’s choices for theirs. It’s your life, and there is only one, so make it beautiful! You can have a beautiful life. It’s your choice.

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Barbara is a God follower, a Writer, and Mom to her 17-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Part of her mission is to show people they can start over at 50. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

Speak Your Heart

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I woke up early not only to a brand new day, but a new year. Mornings are a magical moment for me. Today there is a little extra anticipation knowing this morning begins a brand new year.

I am excited about a new year! Not for any particular reason, but I have been pondering some changes. At the end of the year, I like to ask myself, “What will I bring with me?”

Just like packing, and anticipating the journey, you look at the what you are taking with you.

I’ve decided this year to follow my heart more.

I am an over-thinker, and I can see today where that has not been my friend. Letting my head rule my heart has kept me from doing things that genuinely make my heart happy. The ‘what if’s’, set in and take over. My mind is good at creating scenarios that have never happened. So this year will be the year of listening to my heart, and moving toward that.

A year ago, I ordered a calendar from a dear, sweet, friend of mine. Her name is SC Lourie, and she pours out her heart and soul in her work. When I first read her work, my hope was to one day be able to allow myself to write raw, and heartfelt like she does. I have a ways to go, and there is only one SC Lourie, so today I share one of her heart felt writings with you.

This is her wish for your New Year. I pasted it in a new Journal, not realizing three months later it would become my Cancer Journal. It got me through sitting in many waiting rooms.

“I hope you get all that you genuinely want this year, I really do. I hope you leave a piece of you wherever you go, and discover a piece of you wherever you find yourself. I hope you realize it’s all about love. And that you look deep into the eyes of those you adore, and not shy away from them gazing back at you. I hope you will reach out and feel your beloveds, not flinching for fear of being rejected. And I hope you speak your mind. Well, really speak your heart. Yes, I hope you honor your heart this year, all the way through.”

“I hope you don’t get so busy that you forget life is about having a good time, and I hope you choose happy again and again. I hope you realize you don’t have to follow anyone. You can do life your way, and life will honor you for it. I hope you laugh wildly with your friends, and notice some beautiful things, so beautiful you have to share them and write them down. I hope you remember your own kind of beautiful, and no longer hide in the shadows. That you’ll feel lucky enough just to be you, and feel safe in your skin, like you’ll love yourself enough.”

“I hope you are kissed on the forehead by the wind, and sprinkled with inspiration from the stars. I hope you listen to good music, and read some incredible books, and make your home around those who love you for who you are. Be brave with your cuddles. Don’t hold anything in. And make time for the people and things that make you happy. Tread lightly sweet soul. There is only magic around you, and it’s not going anywhere. You’re safe. You’re well.” by SC Lourie. Happy New Year!

 

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Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of this year that she has Breast Cancer. She has completed Chemo, and is starting Radiation. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

Don’t Be Angry

I woke up thinking of a lady I saw at Radiation. She was agitated in my presence, and I couldn’t grasp how to comfort her. I thought she was scared, but I found out later, she was angry.

There are 5 stages of grief, and when I found out I had Breast Cancer, I went through them all. Some people get stuck on a certain one, but you need to keep going. Don’t get stuck, and roll around in one. If you do that, you are going to miss out on the point of the journey.

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I stayed in Denial for quite a while. Every doctor I met, told me the same thing, and I just sat there ready to bolt. My daughter would go with me to the appointments, and listen for me. Even though I was sitting right there, I wasn’t actually hearing what they were saying.

Then I got just flat out pissed off. In came the yelling match with God. Have you ever noticed, God doesn’t yell back? He just patiently waits for the fit to subside. All the questions, but the most popular one was, “Why?” I had plans for 2016, but now I was going to spend it killing Cancer? Well, God and Chemo took the anger right out of this girl.

Good ol’ Chemo. That is where I learned the most. I could write a book on that alone.

I was bargaining my way through every chance I got. Let’s face it. I usually get my way, but the doctor’s wouldn’t budge. “Can I take a longer break?” No. “Can we just stop right here?” No. “Do I have to come back and keep doing this?” Yes. They were focused on the cure. They had a plan to kill this lump in my breast, and they succeeded. I’m glad they told me no.

Waves of sorrow would wash over me during Chemo. I wouldn’t say I was depressed, but I definitely felt sorry for myself. I couldn’t do anything about anything! All I could do was open my eyes to a new day. Sometimes it took a few days to become stable enough to shower. I just laid in bed thinking of what I would write, if I had the well being to write it.

Acceptance.

This was the sweetest part of the journey. Once I finally accepted the journey.

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God didn’t do this to me. Being an overthinker, I went through every scenario trying to pinpoint what caused this Cancer. Does it really matter? It wasn’t about the lump. It was about what God was going to do for me, that I couldn’t do myself. When I got to that point, and I had to ask for help from God, and others, I believe God started to smile down on me.

God doesn’t want us to walk through this life on our own. He is with us every moment of everyday, but we tend to only call out to Him when needed. In my anger stage, I told God, “I can’t do this on my own.” He was there every step of the way, and my heart is full of His goodness and grace. Don’t be angry. This wasn’t done ‘to’ you, but God will use it for you.

 

mescarf (135x240)

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of this year that she has Breast Cancer. She has completed Chemo, and is starting Radiation. She is in the midst of writing a book which you can help support with Patreon. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

Turning Inside Out

I don’t typically Blog at night, so my hope is, this reaches someone who needs it.

Today was a day of comfort. I got home late yesterday afternoon from Christmas visits. A friend I haven’t talked to in a while, spent time with me on messenger this morning, catching up. It was good to reconnect with her, and I always learn something after hanging out with a friend. Today, she told me, “It sounds like you are right where you need to be.”

There is a difference between ‘right where you need to be’, and ‘right where you WANT to be.’ If I’m right where I need to be, it involves growth, and preparation for where I want to be. I have grown a lot this year, and it’s all thanks to walking through this path of Cancer.

God has gone before me, and placed the right people in my path. Today, I wore some comfortable jeans, a long sleeve shirt, my favorite scarf, jean jacket, and furry boots to Radiation. Walking in, I was comforted just by what I was wearing. It didn’t bother me to trade in my warm clothes for the hospital top. I was still smiling walking down the hall.

When you go through Radiation, the technician takes an x-ray of the area first, before every treatment. That is how they know they have you in correct alignment before they zap you.

I have two wonderful, female technicians. They saw how happy I was to be there, and one of them said something that really struck me. After I laid down on the table, and the machine was in place for the x-ray, she tapped my leg and said, “Smile pretty for us on the inside!”

She was joking because of the x-ray that was being taken, but it has stuck with me all day.

Smile pretty on the inside.

Maybe what you’re going through has taken away your smile. Or, you smile, but you’re hiding the hurt inside. You are not alone, and let me encourage you, that you will get through it. Place your hand over your heart, and feel it beating inside of you. Life can feel like it’s turning you inside out, but until that feeling has passed, smile pretty on the inside.

 

mescarf (135x240)

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of this year that she has Breast Cancer. She has completed Chemo, and is starting Radiation. She is in the midst of writing a book which you can help support with Patreon. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

One Step Further

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My daughter was having an emotional day yesterday, so I decided to give her one of her Christmas presents early. It’s a full length, body pillow, encased in faux fur. She squealed with delight, and hugged it all day. She gives everything dear to her a name, so lastnight I asked her, “What did you name it?” She said, “I might call it Donny.” I said, “Oh! Like Donny Osmond?” She gave me a puzzled look, and said, “Who?!?” She knows who he is now.

Having her late in life, there is always a gap to be filled in. Thanks to those gaps, she appreciates the Beatles, and John Lennon. She went one step further, and found a vinyl by Julian Lennon. I wasn’t aware Julian had recorded an album, so we get to learn from each other.

Living life together, we do things for one another everyday. It’s not something we think about, it just naturally happens. If I’m washing my clothes, and have room for some of hers, I go get them and wash them too. If she has been driving us around in her car all week, I ask her on the way home to stop for gas. I pay for her gas, so she doesn’t have that worry. We just go one step further, and my hope is, every relationship we have is like that.

There is nothing I wouldn’t do for my daughter, and this year proved that. For years, she has wanted to make a Christmas card, with a photo of our life together. My daughter is creative, and she can get some wild ideas. Like lining up all of our animals to be in the picture, like literally herding cats! This year, I was able to finally make her wish come true.

She wanted our shirts to match, but still wanted it to look Christmasy. We opted for an indoor photo, and included our dog, Mochee. She sat up her camera, and we tried to pose before it started automatically taking pictures. It got to be pretty ridiculous fast, and after trying for a while, we both gave up. It was a fun experience, but she didn’t expect anything further. She was perfectly content that we tried. She had even velcroed a necktie on our dog.

When she went to visit her Dad over the weekend, I found a picture from the shoot, and took it by Walgreens. I had written a Blog about our new tradition with the snowman hat entitled, Make Life Fun. During the photo shoot, I had put on the hat to lighten the mood.

You may have already guessed, it was the best picture of all of them. Would it have been my choice of photos? No, but it was the one photo we were both smiling, and the dog was being still. She was filled with glee when she returned home, and discovered a stack of Christmas cards waiting for her to send out. She immediately sent one to all her friends she had addresses for. This small act brought her so much joy, and now it’s a new Christmas tradition.

Her wish for the past three years had become a reality. It didn’t take a lot of money to make her wish come true. It just took some time, and I will happily spend my time on the ones I love. Give your time to the ones you hold dear. They will cherish the memories, and you will have a full heart. The time you give is more valuable than all the money in the world. Go one step further. Merry Christmas Beautiful Souls! Much love, from Bailey, Mochee and Barb!

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