Present Moment, Quality of life

It’s Pretty Ugly

I took a friend to meet Stephanie today. You may or may not recall but, Stephanie is who gave me the courage to care for plants. Everyone needs a Stephanie in their life.

Getting out of my truck, this caught my eye. It has been hanging there for some time, and I have walked by it a countless number, but today it spoke to me.

spinner

My daughter is still in shock that I brought it home!

She asked, “How much was it?” I cheerfully replied, “Stephanie let me have it for 9 bucks!” My daughter looked confused. This was so unlike me to buy something that wasn’t pretty.  I have already received $9 worth of joy from it.

Some days look pretty, but some days feel ugly, and it’s okay to have both.

Letting Go, Present Moment, Quality of life

Catch the Overflow

I still drench the Boston Ferns twice a day. It is hot in Texas, and they hang outside. I would want to be drenched too.

Letting go is a continuous process. Before I brought home my first plant, I drank my own medicine, and posted this. seewhatstays

A lady commented, “If you don’t like what stays, you have a decision to make.” I let it all go, and chose what stayed.

I thought I was clearing my platter to make room for more.

When I was actually clearing a space to make room for me.

There is an Asparagus Fern on the porch, that has been moved a dozen times. It didn’t look happy, or that it was getting everything it needed to thrive. Knowing they can take full sun, and shade, it was a challenge finding the right spot.

“I’m loving the metaphor of your plants as they bloom and grow. Your posts feel like fresh water to my dry roots xx”

Thanks to that comment, I knew where to move the Asparagus Fern.

It receives the overflow from the drenching of where this began. My cup runneth over. Catch the overflow.

trickleofwater
Can you see the trickle of water?
Letting Go, Present Moment, Quality of life

Shades of Pink

Once my daughter painted her room, it prompted a change in mine. My bedroom is already a color, and it’s a pleasant neutral, so this is not a need. It’s been a slow burning want.

My favorite color has always been Red, but I surprised myself.

Walking into my room with two paint samples. One was a good, solid red, and the other was a pale version of red. After trying each on the wall, I chose the softer one. It feels good.

shadesofpink
Courtesy of Shades of Pink

This morning, this photo came up on my Facebook news feed.

It was posted by one of my favorite pages called Shades of Pink. I have settled into no social media apps on my phone. Checking it via laptop a couple of times a day is sufficient.

Melody Beattie’s words that resonated today are:

“Stay open to every opportunity.” (Doing that)

“If you’re tired, rest. If you’re sad, cry.” (Did that)

“Let destiny have it’s way with you.” (Thought-provoking)

Right before falling asleep lastnight, I read this. “Maybe that relationship that made you doubt yourself so much came along to help you learn to listen to and trust your inner voice.

I’m not bold Red. Presently, I am various Shades of Pink.

Present Moment, Quality of life, Unbecoming 2016

Trust the Process

ferns

It was early morning as I was sat in the front porch swing, pondering my sobriety. November 10th will mark 19 years sober. It’s scary getting close to the 20 year mark because you want to keep it. God spoke to my heart and said, “What are you doing to protect it?” I had lost track of that piece of me. It was time to go back and visit Alcoholics Anonymous.

Walking into a meeting the topic was ‘Unity.’ That felt good.

Sitting, listening to people share, and gathering up wisdom from the room. I was taking notes for later, and my pen started writing without a thought. Looking at the page it read, “I don’t need an intimate relationship, but I do need/want love.” The date was Sunday, July 2nd, which was right before I Bled Out, and then came, You are Good.

I’ve been reading Melody Beattie. My heart is tender now, and I want to keep it. To keep a tender heart you have to douse yourself with the tender-hearted. Like the ferns on the porch that get drenched everyday, I’m going to trust the process.

 

A Better Life, Letting Go, Quality of life

This One Life

This morning I woke up and walked right by my phone. It’s laying on the table in another room. There are times during the day I lose track of it completely. It’s quiet, and so am I.

I saw a quote that said, “Technology was created to save us time.” I don’t know about you, but it was taking up most of my time. Now, the occasional glance at Social Media from my laptop is all the time it receives. I’m not isolating from the world, but I did step away from anything that wasn’t healthy for my heart. My heart is becoming more tender, and it’s growing in this environment, just like the plants. To have a tender heart, you have to hang around the tenderhearted.

finalstraw

I was holding the final straw in many areas of my life. When it snapped, so did I. Knowing who I am, I drank my own medicine, and let go of everything and everybody.

My life is completely different today than a month ago. By stepping away from everything I was doing, allows God to show me what He wants done. I told myself I was encouraging people on social media for Him. There are plenty of people doing a great job at that, so God has more in store. Social Media is not going anywhere, so I left.

Choose how you spend your life, and who gets to join you.

God has given my daughter and me a simply beautiful life.

I’m present, and participating fully in the one around me.

Love, Present Moment, Quality of life

A Healthy Environment

bloom

My daughter and I are learning about life through plants.

I’ve only killed one, but I learned a lot, and I’m not giving up.

My Blog introducing the Boston Ferns, caused me to pay attention to their needs. What started out as something important for my daughter, became important to me as well. A lady commented on the Blog, and this part stuck with me. She said, “Drench them.” At the end of the day, I pour a gallon of water over them. They drain, and I watch as the stream of water falls to the porch, like a waterfall. Our kitten drinks the water from the porch, and plays in the puddle.

A healthy environment brings new growth. Sometimes it’s obvious, like when it sprouts from the top. At other times you have to look for new growth underneath.

plant3

My daughter re-potted her Philodendron. Who wouldn’t thrive in that pot? It’s ceramic, and has deep scars filled with grey, to match the theme of her room. I just enjoy the scars.

This plant was so root-bound, they started growing upward. The lady who sells us our plants said, “It’s part of it’s character, so you can leave them uncovered.” They are beautiful, and well-earned, so not dirt it is.  The pot is huge, so the plant has plenty of room to grow. Everyday it sprouts a new leaf. It’s so heavy, we had to buy a stand with wheels.

Back to the ferns, a bird built a nest in one. At first it concerned me because she was taking out part of the fern, for the nest. Then I realized she loved the environment so much she wanted to live there. I have to be gentle, but it still gets drenched daily.

fern1

 

Present Moment, Quality of life

You are Good

I went down to the corner store this morning, and was greeted by my friend behind the counter. We love one another like good friends do, even though I just met him a couple of years ago. He is a real life superhero in my book.

I don’t know his story, only what I’ve seen. He has a heart the size of Texas, but he isn’t native Texan. He is from another country, and he runs the only store in little Dale Texas.

Last Thanksgiving, he was overwhelmed with gifts of food from the locals. He said it was a huge difference from the previous year. He received a couple of pigs that year, but last year it was in the double digits. He has a good heart, but it took time for people to see it, believe it, and trust him.

saveyourself

He asked, “You missed the fireworks lastnight?”

I responded, “I saw them from my front porch.”

He asked, “Are you okay?” Tapping his chest in reference to last years Breast Cancer.

I reassured him, “I am good, just tired I guess.”

Then it was like God entered the conversation, because he said, “Of people?” We were talking about health, so this comment surprised me. The fireworks celebration brings in a lot of people, so it hit me right in the heart when he said this.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at him and said, “Maybe.”

He started shaking his head furiously, and said, “NO NO NO.”

He opened his arms, leaned across the counter, and pulled me into his arms, like it was forbidden for me to be tired of people. He hugged me, let me go, and said, “You are good.”

 

A Better Life, Letting Go, Quality of life

I Bled Out

A few months ago, my daughter said, “You’re always staring at that phone!” She looks at hers too, but mainly to connect with friends. I was checking all my Social Media accounts.

Something was going to change, and it was me.

anthony

I’ve done pretty much the same thing the past few years.

I’m finding balance between people and technology.

Is the phone a tool, or a lifeline? How do you use yours?

It helps us stay connected to those we love, but I became loved out. I allowed my phone to be shut off for 3 weeks, and I didn’t miss it. The only thing I missed was calling my sister, and hearing her voice. I even printed out some of my Blogs, and mailed them to her to let her see what I’ve been doing.

I use a laptop, or pen to paper to write. No phone.

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God has given me two more Blogs, but WordPress is where I began. The WordPress community is an actual community. When someone outside of WordPress reads your Blog, they cannot like, or comment without opening an account. If they are not already in WordPress, they have to join. No likes or comments from friends outside WordPress. ‘Social’ Media?

Do you know how much of you is in your phone?

Do you know it’s big business to sell contact information?

How would you feel if it fell in water and you lost it all?

Can you leave the house without it, and enjoy yourself?

These are just a few things I learned without my phone. Why did I turn it back on? My landlord tried contacting me, and when I didn’t respond, he was worried something was wrong. I told him it was shut off, and he couldn’t fathom it.

johncena

This is our kitten and his name is John Cena.

My daughter named him, and it’s fun yelling JOHHHHHHN CEEEEENA all day. He knows his name, and walks into view when we call him. Unless, he is asleep somewhere.

He isn’t allowed in our bedrooms, but yesterday, I was sitting in bed, writing in a journal, and dozed off. When I awoke, John Cena was not only in my room, but in my bed! His paws wrapped around my ankle, and using my bare foot as his pillow. I just sat there wishing I had my phone to snap a pic.

My daughter said, “It’s a good thing you had your phone in the bed, so you could snap that pic.” I didn’t have my phone. Luckily, John stayed put while I found it. I bought my daughter a small plaque that says, “I love you more than my phone.” It feels good to say that, but even better to feel it.

A Better Life, Quality of life

The Seeds of Success by Og Mandino

letting-seed-growGod, I thank you for this day.

I know I have not accomplished as yet all you expect of me, and if that is your reason for bathing me in the fresh dew of another dawn, I am most grateful.

I am prepared at last, to make you proud of me.

I will forget yesterday, with all it’s trial and tribulations, aggravations and setbacks. The past is already a dream from which I can neither retrieve a single word nor erase any foolish deeds.

I will resolve, however, that if I have injured anyone yesterday through my thoughtlessness, I will not let this day’s sun set before I make amends, and nothing I do today will be of greater importance.

I will not fret the future. My success and happiness does not depend on straining to see what lurks dimly on the horizon, but to do, this day, what lies clearly at hand.

I will treasure this day, for it is all I have. I know that’s it’s rushing hours cannot be accumulated or stored, like precious grain, for future use.

I will live as all good actors do when they are on stage-only in the moment. I cannot perform at my best today by regretting my previous act’s mistakes or worrying about the scene to come.

I will embrace today’s difficult tasks, take off my coat, and make dust in the world. I will remember that the more productive I am, the less harm I am apt to suffer, the tastier will be my food, the sweeter my sleep, and the better satisfied I will be with my place in the world.

I will free myself today from slavery to the clock and calendar. Although I will plan this day in order to conserve my steps and energy, I will begin to measure my life in deeds, not years, in thoughts, not seasons.

I will remain aware of how little it takes to make this a happy day. Never will I pursue happiness, because it is not a goal, just a by-product, and there is no happiness in having or in getting, only in giving.

I will run from no danger I might encounter today, because I am certain that nothing will happen to me that I am not equipped to handle with your help. Just as any gem is polished by friction, I am certain to become more valuable through this day’s adversities, and if you close one door, you always open another for me.

I will live this day as if it were Christmas. I will be a giver of gifts and deliver to my enemies the gift of forgiveness, my opponents, tolerance, my friends, a smile, my children, a good example, and every gift will be wrapped with unconditional love.

I will waste not even a precious second today in anger or hate or jealousy or selfishness. I know that the seeds I sow will harvest, because every action, good or bad, is always followed by and equal reaction. I will plant only good seeds today.

I will treat today as a priceless violin. One may draw harmony from it an another, discord, yet no one will blame the instrument. Life is the same, and if I play it correctly, it will give forth beauty, but if I play it ignorantly, it will produce ugliness.

I will condition myself to look on every problem I encounter today as no more than a pebble in my shoe. I remember the pain, so harsh I could hardly walk, and recall my surprise when I removed my shoe and found only a grain of sand.

I will work convinced that nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. To do anything today that is truly worth doing, I must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in with gusto and scramble through as well as I can.

I will face the world with goals set for this day, but they will be attainable ones, not the vague, impossible variety declared by those who make a career of failure. I realize that you always try me a little first, to see what I would do with a lot.

I will never hide my talents. If I am silent, I am forgotten, if I do not advance, I will fall back. If I walk away from any challenge today, my self-esteem will be forever scarred, and if I cease to grow, even a little, I will become smaller. I reject the stationary position because it is always the beginning of the end.

I will keep a smile on my face and in my heart even when it hurts today. I know that the world is a looking-glass and gives back to me the reflection of my own soul. Now I understand the secret of correcting the attitude of others and that is to correct my own.

I will turn away from any temptation today that might cause me to break my word or lose my self-respect. I am positive that the only thing I possess more valuable than my life is my honor.

I will work this day with all my strength, content in the knowledge that life does not consist of wallowing in the past or peering anxiously at the future. It is appalling to contemplate the great number of painful steps by which one arrives at a truth so old, so obvious, and so frequently expressed. Whatever it offers, little or much, my life is now.

I will pause whenever I am feeling sorry for myself today, and remember that this is the only day I have and must play it to the fullest. What my part may signify in the great whole. I may not recognize, but I am here to play it and now is the time.

I will remember that those who have fewest regrets are those who take each moment as it comes for all that it’s worth.

This is my day!

These are my seeds.

Thank you, God, for this precious garden of time.

Present Moment, Quality of life

Live and Learn

Today will be spent painting the wood trim in my daughter’s bedroom. Since she recently painted the walls a light color, the trim looks like a gross white, instead of bright white.

To some, this may not sound like fun, but I love it.

I’m no painter, but there is something about holding a good trim brush, and paint. You become one with the tools in hand. Make it a meditative stance, instead of a chore. When my daughter comes home, her room will have a lighter, brighter feel, and I will have a feeling of accomplishment.

sunday.png

You can do anything you want to do, if you want to enough.

My daughter and I consider our bedrooms our havens.

I really appreciated this mindset during Chemo for Breast Cancer. Once the Chemo Treatment was complete. my daughter would drive us home, and I would fall onto my bed. I would lay there for a couple of days, allowing my body time to do what was needed. It made me grateful I had bought a new bed the previous year. It felt good to my body, and soul.

Be inspired today Lovelies. Do something for your soul.

Talking with a friend yesterday, she asked if I had any vacation plans for the summer. That is something I rarely think about. My life feels like a vacation everyday, so I told her, “I’ve created a life I don’t need a vacation from.” She gasped and said, “I want to do that!” I assured her she could.

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