No Regrets

noregretsJust because we have them, doesn’t mean we have to keep them. The dictionary describes it as: Regret is a negative conscious and emotional reaction to personal past acts and behaviors. Regret is often expressed by the term “sorry.”That is encouraging to me because it reveals itself as consciousness and emotion, which we have control over. It also places it in the past, which we can choose not to live in anymore.

Some of you know, I spent a third of my life drowning in alcoholism. Early in my sobriety, I told a friend that I regretted all the years I lost to drinking, and wish I had them back. She quickly told me, “God was with you that whole time. Watching over you, protecting you, and allowing that experience to form you into the person you are today.” It’s true, and I wouldn’t have met her. One of my most treasured friends.

lessonThe most important thing to know is….We’re not alone. There are people out there who have done the same stupid things we did, if not worse, and are alive to tell about it. If you want to hear some, go sit in an AA meeting with a lot of newcomers. This is called a ‘Beginners’ meeting, and they usually have just a few days sober. They are full of regret, and share snippets of things they did drunk, and are trying to accept sober. What’s interesting is almost everyone in the room will be nodding their head in agreement as their story unfolds. We can relate to their pain because we did something similar, if not the exact same thing!

I saw a quote this week that grieved me. “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.” Do you know who said it? The late, great Robin Williams. How can a man who brought so much joy to millions of people, live in darkness? I’m guessing he kept it hidden from the world, and it took his life. For me, that would be the ultimate Regret.

Genie…You are now free.

 

 

 

Gopher It!

unicornMy daughter and I have this thing we do. When she shares a great idea, I look at her and say, “Gopher it”! She does the same for me, creating a funny gopher imitation to drive the point home. In plain English it simply means, “Go For It”.

We are limited by our own thinking, so it’s best to leave my life alone and give it to God. “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.” I’ve seen this verse come to pass in my life many a time. When I think I have a good idea, and put it into play, it usually serves as a springboard into what God has in store. My idea is not really my idea. It’s better than I could have thought of own my own, and God uses that to put me on the path He has for me.

I have a sign hanging in my office that says, “Good things happen to those who go for it!”

What’s holding you back? Feel free to contact me if I can be of service.

 

Baby Come Back!

One of my Favorite Letting Go Lessons is Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships. It’s trying enough letting go of these people, but what do we do when they come back? It’s simple, but not always easy. Here are some simple steps.

1. Pick a questionable relationship in your life. A questionable relationship is one that does not align with your definition of health and well being.
2. Close your eyes, breathe and be calm.
3. Feel the presence of this person you have identified as questionable. Notice how your body responds to their presence. Take the time to get clear upon the effect they have upon you.
4. Then, answer the following questions:

a. Does this relationship make you feel balanced?
b. In what way does this relationship physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually benefit you?
c. What is the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual cost of this relationship? (I keep a journal beside me to write my answers in)

blogLastly, if there are relationships, which you know to be extremely unhealthy for you, openly listen to your Higher Power. Ask for clarity, strength and courage. If the truth is, it’s time to avoid further harm to your spiritual, emotional, mental and physical well being then rest with that feeling until you are ready to act.

I have witnessed people openly tell the person, “I’m letting you go”. and I’ve seen them detach allowing the person to disappear. You do what’s best for you and your well-being. By you becoming a stronger, more loving person, they will most likely show up again, no matter how you let go. Verbally or quietly.

Maybe by then, you both have changed enough that it can be healthy. I leave you with two of my fav quotes by Joyce Meyer. “Don’t be upset about losing something. It might be putting you in the place you should have been in to begin with.” and “Sometimes God will take something away to straighten you out. He’ll give it back when you’re ready”.

 

 

Change is Your Friend

myselfThis week has been a week of growth. What is that other word for growth? Oh yea…Change. Gearing up to host a Letting Go Workshop makes me reminiscent of the first time I went through one. Going through my lessons from a year ago, it’s encouraging and comforting to see continuous growth.

lifeMy life has changed into a life of beauty and wonder. The lessons in the Letting Go Project equipped me with tools to continue to use when needed. One of the many gifts it gave me was feeling the change start to happen from within. It’s an unsettling feeling at first, but if you sit with it long enough, revelation will appear. I’m grateful that I can feel change stirring from within and let it flow out as a beacon of light upon the path God has in store.

heart

It’s always better when change happens from within to move outward into your life, versus life hitting you from outside and being forced to make changes within. That’s not a good feeling. It causes stress and uncertainty. Once I was at peace with myself, and began to like the person I was becoming, my life began changing accordingly. I didn’t need others to feel good about myself, or depend on them for goodness in my life. Change from within. It’s been a phenomenal week!

The Happiness Meter

What makes you happy? Do things, or people make you happy? Daily lesson…Happiness comes from within.

happyThe most difficult thing to come to grips with is to not allow outside influences steal my joy. Sitting in the present moment, and feeling a little off about something not within sight yet. Calming the mind and spirit, and breathing deep to allow time for the item to surface. Once it’s within view, whether it’s a comment someone made, or an action that was puzzling, releasing it out of the present moment will take away it’s power.

By diffusing the power in any situation, you will not be prompted to react. Breathe through the disturbance and if a response is needed, logically do so. It is always more effective to ‘respond’ verses react. Another diffusion of power.

If there is anything in your life that you could lose…don’t depend on it to bring you happiness. That’s pretty simple. I wish someone would have pounded that through my head when I was in my 20’s. When things are going well, it’s easy to be happy. It’s when things are not going according to plan that our happiness is tested.

happinessIf you don’t get anything else out of my Blog, please get this. You are not responsible for other people’s happiness! You cannot make someone happy. If I see someone struggling with their happiness meter, I can show them love. Help redirect their thoughts to find the path they lost. If happiness is at a low-level, it’s usually because I’ve stepped off the path God has for me. Time to turn around and try again!

Detox 101

This week…I ran myself through a 24 hour detox. This was not on my list of things to do but I’m grateful it happened! That is Lesson One of The Letting Go Workshop-Letting Go of Negativity. It specifies the importance of a gratitude list. Today I am grateful to be alive!

heartbeatA month ago, my daughter and I joined a gym and started working out at least 4 days a week. Yesterday, I didn’t have the amount of energy I desired, so into the kitchen I went for experimentation. I discovered a liquid nutritional product that I used to take everyday. Since joining the gym, I had focused on protein and other supplements, and hadn’t taken in it a while. This product reaches you at a cellular level, so I poured a glass and drank it.

A couple of hours later, I poured another tall glass, and drank that too. My daughter and I went out to run some errands and within an hour, every vein in my body was screaming! I started feeling achy all over and having cold chills. We made it back to the house, and I curled up in my favorite chair, with a blanket. My body was taking turns breaking out in cold chills and heating up. The Letting Go Workshops taught me to listen to my body and give it time to heal itself. Lesson Three has you write this out:

My body is a master of healing itself. I now commit to giving my body the time and space it needs to heal each day. I now trust my body to heal.

mistakesCurled up in the chair, I did a recount of what I did that day that was different. Between working out and drinking the large amount of additional supplements, I had stirred up all the toxins in my body! This reminded me so much of The Letting Go Project I went through. My body was pushing all the toxins through every pore, and the lessons I did each week did something similar. I was able to stir up everything that wasn’t ‘adding’ to my life and physically and mentally release them!

Upon completion of The Letting Go Project, I had a new mind and a new life free from toxins. Just like after the detox, my body seems new and lighter. I encourage you to contact me today if you’re ready to detox your life. I’ll leave one of my favorite quotes for you to ponder:

Do the things you used to talk about doing but never did. Know when to let go and when to hold on tight. Stop rushing. Don’t be intimidated to say it like it is. Stop apologizing all the time. Learn to say no, so your yes has some oomph. Spend time with the friends who lift you up, and cut loose the ones who bring you down. Stop giving your power away. Be more concerned with being interested than being interesting. Be old enough to appreciate your freedom, and young enough to enjoy it. Finally know who you are. -Kristin Armstrong

Little Bit of Everything

Life happens. It’s what we choose to do with it that matters. We can continually deal with what it throws at us, take a side step and live in denial, or step up and make a shift. Ask yourself, “What are three options?”, toward every situation. Then take a step toward what’s best.

I’m a country girl, and love country music! Being young at heart, my fav artists are Brad Paisley, Luke Bryan, Chris Young and Keith Urban. These guys sing about love, having fun, enjoying a simple life and getting through the rough spots. These are not your, “Let’s get drunk and shoot Mama, or push her off a train,” kinda guys. Their songs will make you smile. Keith Urban actually laughs during some of his songs! One song in particular by Keith opened my eyes to endless options of what we can receive from life. A Little Bit of Everything.

The beginning of the song, Keith mentions hanging a disco ball from an old oak tree. Having an old oak tree in my backyard this worked for me! Why not?

discoball

The song is about endless options. Keith doesn’t focus on how to quickly fix his situation. He projects options and leaves the door wide open for ‘a little bit of everything’ to occur. It’s not about what we think we need, it’s about taking the limits off what could happen. He sings, “Well, I know that I don’t need a whole lot of anything…I just want a little bit of everything.”

Participating in a Letting Go Workshop, we learn to ‘Let Go’ of what is not serving us or anyone around us. I collected a lot of material and mental debris over the years. When it became obvious it was time to start downsizing my home, I would have never guessed it was going to take me where I am today. A lot of time, energy and money go into maintaining a large home full of stuff. What if that same time, energy and money was available again? What would that look like?

If my plate is full, or overcrowded, that doesn’t allow room for anything new! God has cleaned my plate many a time over the past 10 years, and there’s always change involved. I live in a house that is 5 times smaller than where I began.  The material items are minimal, but each one brings me joy! The same amount of time spent to clean one bathroom before, is spent cleaning my entire house today.

I have time and freedom which is precious.

NO

Be careful how you spend your time and who you give it to. It’s one thing we never get back. This is what The Letting Go Workshops are all about. To look at every option, choose one at a time and examine it closely. Feeling overwhelmed? Pinpoint the source and see if it’s needed. Have unhealthy relationships dragging you down? Evaluate how that serves you and decide what is best for you. These are couple of things that needed addressing immediately in my own life. I had been skirting the issues, and lived to just get through another day. I wasn’t excited about tomorrow either! That is NOT living my friend. That is called…’SURVIVING.’

As I was going though The Letting Go process, I realized these methods would continue to serve me throughout everyday life. The downsizing of material things showed me there’s a huge difference between want and need. What brings you joy?

I love to go Antiquing. Traveling through charming little towns in Texas, and stopping in these lovely shops is relaxing and brings me joy. I don’t make purchases at every shop because today my focus is quality of life, not quantity. Once in a while, something will speak to my heart, and I’ll stop and ponder if I have to have it. My daughter always asks me, “Do you love it?” Some shops believe in quantity, so if I spot a set of plates I like, I keep moving if I have to purchase the entire set. My life today doesn’t require a seating for 12 people.

Recently, I came across a set of tea cups, plates and saucers that made me smile. There were four of each piece, which is perfect for my daughter and me. That gives us enough to have a guest or two, allow for breakage, and we’re not married to it because of investment. We have several sets of four plates, place mats, and cloth napkins to enjoy. This is another one of life’s simple pleasures. It’s been over a year since I’ve purchased paper napkins! Antique shops have beautiful cloth napkins, and there again, stay away from the set of twelve. Buy four or six, to change out regularly and enjoy the colors and patterns. Throw them in the wash, and they continue to bring you joy! A little bit of everything is better than too much of anything.

teacup