Breaking Heart Strings

July has taught me what makes the heart happy, and sad.

Making up my bed this morning, and catching a glimpse of the Happiness sign, I stopped making it up, and changed the sheets. That made my heart happy. They will feel good tonight.

Detachment is a word commonly used in Letting Go. Today, I saw the word, ‘Unattached’, and that felt softer. Detachment always left me feeling cold, and that’s not me.

I imagined strings attached to my heart, and they would attach to another heart, or circumstance. Anything that made the heart happy. When something occurs that made the heart sad, a string would break, and fall away. Over time with repetition, the heart becomes unattached. What used to excite the heart doesn’t phase it now. The strings are gone.

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To Be True

Life is beautiful, and we are taking time to cultivate it.

I saw the gradual movement of change. My daughter painted her room, and I fell in love with the feel. Walking into my own room, it didn’t give me that feel. Looking at paint colors, then testing samples, and voila! My room has that feel with completely different colors. How is that possible? We know what feels good, and both rooms do, but on different levels.

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I chose the true red over faded red, to remind myself to be true. The happiness sign hung over my bed, but I moved it to the opposite wall. When I wake up, I lay there for a moment, and ponder it’s meaning for the day. Each day holds different levels of happiness. To get good with that and just be.

I don’t have to jump out of bed anymore, and embrace the day. It’s best for me to travel through the day, and acknowledge uncertainty. People are walking in and out of my life, and I am letting them. Melody Beattie was referring to being in the middle of God’s will. We love God’s will, “but not usually while it’s working itself out.” This is true.

The place we pray to be in is uncomfortable to sit in.

Shades of PINK commented on one of my Facebook posts today with, “Perfect place to ‘BE.'” It was picture perfect. To just ‘be’ is not always how we picture it, or perfect.

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My daughter sent me that Meme. My feelings change from day to day, but God doesn’t change, and I know that to be true.

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I Planted Weeds

Earlier this week, I went to see my friend Stephanie.

She gave me the courage to try my hand at plants again.

I took one look at her wrought iron fencing, and fell in love.

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It’s a weed, but look at how delicate the greenery is. It has tiny red flowers that bloom in the shape of a trumpet. Walking into the shop, I found Stephanie and asked her about it. She said it comes up every year, but this was my first time seeing it. She saw the look in my eyes, and said, “Come on! Lemme get the water hose, and I’ll dig you some up!”

She gave me plenty to bring home and plant, and I planted it along the fence facing the bedroom windows. I am not sure how I went from nurturing and growing plants, to planting weeds, but I like it. To lay across my bed, and gaze out the window at it will be peaceful. It just needs to take root to grow. Her’s were growing under rocks, so they are tough.

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I’ve been reading Melody Beattie a lot lately. She is ahead of me on this journey of finding yourself, but we have similar hearts. Here are some of her words that resonated with me.

“Be still and know that I am God. Stillness is a place. Become familiar with stillness. Take time to learn it’s power.” Stillness is found when being still, and becoming present in that moment.

“Find a balance that is right for you.”

“Become sensitive to your needs.”

“Inhale, receive. Exhale, give back.”

“Clear resentments from your heart.”

“Learn to be calm.”

“All you have to do about your feelings is feel them.”

“Embrace each cycle of your life.” This is where she talks about aging. I agree with Melody, that when you hit 50, you begin the second half of your life. Let’s see what that looks like.

“The answers are in your heart. Go back~think~when was your heart it’s happiest? Go back to your heart. It will always lead you home.” Home is where the heart is. I’m going home.

Trust the Process

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It was early morning as I was sat in the front porch swing, pondering my sobriety. November 10th will mark 19 years sober. It’s scary getting close to the 20 year mark because you want to keep it. God spoke to my heart and said, “What are you doing to protect it?” I had lost track of that piece of me. It was time to go back and visit Alcoholics Anonymous.

Walking into a meeting the topic was ‘Unity.’ That felt good.

Sitting, listening to people share, and gathering up wisdom from the room. I was taking notes for later, and my pen started writing without a thought. Looking at the page it read, “I don’t need an intimate relationship, but I do need/want love.” The date was Sunday, July 2nd, which was right before I Bled Out, and then came, You are Good.

I’ve been reading Melody Beattie. My heart is tender now, and I want to keep it. To keep a tender heart you have to douse yourself with the tender-hearted. Like the ferns on the porch that get drenched everyday, I’m going to trust the process.

 

Badass or Stubborn

The pain in my breast woke me up early this morning. It was dark outside, but as I sat up to assess, there was light in my room coming from my phone. A friend was posting one encouraging post after another on Facebook. I just sat and read them, and then told her thank you. The encourager needed that encouragement. Even though I think I’m a badass.

**If you are confused by this post, please read yesterday’s Blog entitled, While I Wait.

Romans 8:18 says, “The pain that you’ve been feeling, can’t compare to the joy that’s coming.” I’m standing on that and many other promises today.

The pain wasn’t from the mass itself. It was from the biopsy. The doctor took 3 bites of the mass in two different places. Come on now darlin….I am a small frame girl, and I ain’t got much to begin with! My 16 year old daughter has bigger boobs than me. The procedure left bruising from the pressure of the instrument used. That sounds kinda like life itself.

God doesn’t put us in pain, however, I do believe He will use that pain to push us towards our destiny. Last October, I wrote a Blog entitled, Low Level Pain. I didn’t reveal it then, but my body was feeling a low level pain from that breast. Oh yes….The body knows everything we’re going through, and will speak to us if we’re willing to listen. I didn’t want to listen.

My pain increased over time. This is where the badass part comes in. I have a very high tolerance to pain. I can take it, and a rather large amount. It wasn’t until I had reached my limit, and couldn’t take it anymore, that things changed. I had to stop fighting and surrender to the pain. After that initial doctor visit, my pain was gone. Thank you Jesus.

Looking back it amazes me how I accommodated the pain. It took forever to get comfortable at night to go to sleep. Then to stay asleep was the trick. Toward the end I had to fall asleep propped up in a semi-sitting position, because it was better than laying down.

Am I a badass, or just stubborn?

I dunno….but the one thing I do know is I’m ready for less suffering and more glory to God.

Barbara is a writer, Entrepreneur and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and has a pretty healthy obsession for chocolate. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was what stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

Those Three Words

Have you ever noticed the length of my Blog titles? They usually contain only three words. This was a challenge sent to me by God and it was a challenge for a very long time.

The biggest struggle for me when I started to write, was the title. Oh, it was easy enough to think of a title and topic, but the titles were usually long. So, I felt a prompting from God to just use three words. It wasn’t as difficult as it sounds, since my three favorite words are ‘I love you’, I knew a lot could be said with a small amount of words. So, the challenge began.

WordPress just revealed to me, I have posted a little over 200 Blog posts. Writing what God does for me, and showing how He works in my life. I am pleased to say, for the most part, the titles have just three words. Now there are exceptions. If I was writing about a book series, or a historical place I visited, I would entitle it to give credit to the subject at hand.

I watched as what began as a struggle, and often a block in my writing, turn into something wonderful. Doing this for a while now, I know when three words come to my mind, it’s a Blog title. Instead of thinking what to write, and then struggling with a title, God switched it. He gives me the three words first, and then I wait for Him to reveal the timing to write.

My mind is full of words throughout the day, so I know when I hear three what that means.

My daughters snickers as we are driving down the road, and I yell it into my phone to send myself a message. Sometimes, a piece of paper is handy, and I write it down. At first, I thought I’d remember all day those three words, but no, that didn’t happen. It was disappointing to get to the days end, and I had forgotten them. Quick obedience ensued.

That’s just how God works in my life. He makes it fun, yet challenging and I’m never bored.

Barbara is a writer, Entrepreneur and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and has a pretty healthy obsession for chocolate. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was what stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

Why We Quit

It’s been a long week, full of the unexpected. Everything that happened was out of my control. I must be learning my lessons well friends, because they made me better for it.

Pausing and reflecting upon what’s in front of me. That’s where I am. Not reacting; only a response when needed. I’m an Encourager. That’s what I do. Yes, I have a part-time job, and I’m a Mother to my 16 year old daughter, but my gifts are Encouragement/Hospitality, and Teacher/Preacher. This week, I finally admitted how tired I really am. That was painful.

That is why we quit. We get tired.

It’s very simple really, but it’s been difficult for me to embrace. Have felt it coming on for some time now, but chose to hit the ignore button continuously until it broke. I saw an encouraging post from a friend early this morning, and clicked the ‘Like’ button. She replied with, “Always the Encourager. Thank you!” I sat at my desk and wept for a moment.

I was tired.

Today has been ‘take care of me’ day. Not doing anything special really, just moving at a slower pace. Listening to what my heart and body are telling me. Stopping by Starbucks on the way from dropping my daughter off with her Dad, and getting a really good cup of coffee. Bringing some recommended k-cups home to start my day off right tomorrow.

I was starting to notice how being tired was effecting my quality of life and creativity. I was moving at a fast pace and doing things in a hurry. I had stopped cleaning up behind myself in the kitchen and it was a wreck. I went from making my own Memes once a day, to once a week, and then once a month. After I dropped my daughter off, I stopped and got very still.

My phone buzzed, and it was a lady from my Letitgocoach Facebook page. She is ready to make changes in her life and has asked for my help. I have a beautiful life! Has it always been this way? No! Can I help others have what I have? Yes. It took time and patience, but I get to enjoy this life and I want others to have it too. That is my mission, and my passion.

Today, I’ve spent time tapping into my creativity. Tapping into my desire to touch people and let them know they are beautiful. Learning new ways to put something in front of them that resonates with them and where they are. A beautiful life is right in front of us, it’s just a matter of removing the clutter from our minds, and opening our hearts and souls to see.

One of my favorite verses is Luke 6:38:

38 Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over [with no space left for more]. For with the standard of measurement you use [when you do good to others], it will be measured to you in return.” Luke 6:38 Amplified Bible.

So, sitting here writing at 10:30 at night, with all these wonderful ideas to implement tomorrow must mean….I’m not tired anymore. I still might sleep in because tomorrow I’m still taking care of me, so I can better care for you. Have a beautiful evening Beautiful Souls.

Barbara is a writer, Entrepreneur and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and has a pretty healthy obsession for chocolate. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was what stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com