A Lazy Day

I believe sometimes we just need to admit to this. It is a lazy day, and that’s okay.

I’m sitting in my room overlooking the lake. It’s windy, but sunny, and I love watching the wind blow across the water. It wouldn’t be fun in a boat, but it’s soothing from where I sit.

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I’m to a point in my life, where I don’t feel guilty for taking a day to do absolutely nothing. The busy bee season is long gone, thank God. Today, I will allow my soul to catch up with the rest of me. I’m giving myself permission to not do shit today, and that includes writing.

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Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of 2016 that she had Breast Cancer. She has completed Chemo, and is going through Radiation. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

Different Is Good

When I’m at the lake, the coffee maker usually wakes me up. It’s set on a timer to start brewing, but this morning that didn’t happen. I slept in because I forgot to add the water.

Chef saved the coffee by adding water. He had to go to work, so I put on my favorite CD at the moment, Jennifer Nettles, “Playing With Fire,” and enjoyed my coffee listening to her.

This year has been so different. Not only walking through Breast Cancer, but my daughter and I were apart for Thanksgiving. This was when having two separate lives showed up. She felt led to be with her father, and I wanted to be with Chef and his family. I missed her terribly, but it was nice cooking with Chef, and having Thanksgiving with my new family.

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I have spent twenty something years cooking the entire Thanksgiving dinner myself. This year I was only responsible for two dishes. The dressing, and some sweet potatoes. Mr. Smith, (Chef) had everything else under control. We were going to cook the entire dinner for his family. It’s funny looking at it now, but I was so nervous about cooking the dressing!

His Mother has always made the dressing, and I was in charge of making something they had certain memories of. Keeping it Grandma’s Dressing recipe, all I could do was my very best. Thanksgiving morning, Mr. Smith went to his families home to put the turkey in the oven, and I started making my dressing. Why was I so nervous about making this one dish?

Meanwhile, my daughter had volunteered to cook Thanksgiving dinner for her Dad, and brother. She called me stressed out about cooking the ham. Being a mother, I just wanted to step in and help her, but I couldn’t. This was something she chose to do, and at 17 years old, I had faith that she could. After the call, I had a good cry, and let it go. Later on she sent this.

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She did all of this. I love the way she put the pottery I left behind to good use. This picture reflects what she saw over the years, and she duplicated it amazingly well at her young age. She make it look like Thanksgiving, even though we were apart. I was filled with joy for her.

The expectations we place on ourselves can be brutal. My daughter and I both have a bit of perfectionism we struggle to let go of. The dressing turned out well, and we had a beautiful Thanksgiving. Chef did an amazing job in his Mother’s kitchen, pulling the entire meal together in record time. It’s incredible to watch him, and he only burned his fingers twice.

Maybe your holiday’s look different this year, but I am finding that different is good.

Letting go of expectations of myself, allows me to enjoy what’s in front of me instead.

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Barbara is a God follower, a Writer, and Mom to her 17-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Part of her mission is to show people they can start over at 50. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

What To Expect

I just pressed my third cup of coffee out of the Keurig, so you would think I would be feeling energized. It used to help wake me up, and give me a jolt in the mornings. Not so much anymore, so maybe it’s time for a change. I have stopped ‘doing’, and begun ‘letting’.

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I read an article this morning on having no expectations. This one started out like most, but then it got my attention. Instead of expecting certain things out of life, the one you love, or yourself for that matter…Take the limits off God. I lay all my petitions before Him, so He knows my heart and desired outcome, but then I leave it there. I never know what to expect.

This opens up endless opportunity. As far as relationships go, here are a few things I’ve learned.

1.He Loves Me, But Loves Himself First.

Does your partner take good care of themselves? The care they take of themselves, will be a reflection of how well they care for you. There should be a healthy balance of self care, and loving you.

2. His Love For Me.

This is where I had to lay all expectations aside. You have heard the saying, “Stop breaking your own heart?” That is what occurs when I expect to be loved at a certain level. Everyone loves differently, and we cannot compare past loves to the present. Those were stepping stones to prepare us for this. It’s not about lowering our expectations. It’s about being open to change.

3. He Encourages My Ideas and Creativity.

If your love ever tells you, “That’s a stupid idea,” or better yet, “You are stupid.” you will need to hit them with a pipe. Creative ideas sound rather far fetched at first, but it’s that initial seed we plant. Saying it outloud to someone we trust, and value the opinion of, gets the ball rolling. You are not stupid….You are creative and open-minded. Stay that way.

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4. Let Them Love You.

This is where the expectations of your mind can get in the way. Allowing someone to love you the best way they know how, should be enough. This love doesn’t look like anything I’ve ever had, or anything I imagined, but that lines up with God. Isaiah 55:8 says, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and My ways are not your ways.” That’s encouraging to me.

5. Let It Be Easy.

I love seeing posts from my friends, announcing 30 or so years of being married, and exclaiming, “Fight for your marriage.” Bullcrap. There should be no fighting. If you each are doing the next right thing, making good choices for the greater good, it should flow. Yes, life will come at you with a vengeance and try to destroy what’s good, but that is life.

When one is weak, the other is strong. That’s just how it works. You hold one another up during the rough times. They always pass, and should make you better because of it. Always be with someone that brings out the very best in you, and nudges you to become better. There is always more, and more better, so release your expectations to the Lord. Drop your plan and go with His. Get good at not knowing and waiting. He heard you, just be patient.

 

 

 

Tea and Me

I opened an Instagram account this year. My daughter has had one for a while, and she posts the most beautiful pictures, especially during her travels. My daughter loves photography and is great at editing for effect. I am not the greatest, and just use my phone as a tool, but it brings me joy. It’s something new to learn and stretch myself this year.

This year is about being the best Barb I can be. If you read yesterday’s Blog, there was a question asked that has become our theme for the year. In a word, it’s about unbecoming.

teanme (524x640)I grew up in North Carolina and on sweet tea. Moving to Texas, I quickly discovered, they have tea, but no sweet tea. Putting sugar in a glass of already made tea is not happiness.

This is where my love of hot tea came in. I have never been a fan of hot tea, but at least it would dissolve sugar! I recalled attending Mother/Daughter teas when my daughter was younger, and how delightful they were. The tea was delicious and it made for a beautiful experience. Somewhere along my path, I discovered Zhi Tea. They bring me happiness.

Hot tea has enhanced my life in beautiful ways. Whenever I need a moment to be good to myself, I fix a cup of tea. I rarely miss a day, and some days require an entire press of tea.

Beauty is all around, but sometimes we have to seek it. If you’re not seeing the beauty in your life, just be still and let it reveal itself to you. It’s there just waiting for your attention.

Barbara is a writer, Entrepreneur and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and has a pretty healthy obsession for chocolate. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was what stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

Tis The Season

Walking through the house this morning making my way to the Keurig, it had a different feel and smell. My daughter and I purchased a Christmas tree last night, and it was standing in the corner filling the room with its presence.It has no lights or ornaments to help it stand out but it’s hard not to notice it. I realize God’s presence the same as that tree.

blogIt’s amazing how much my life has changed in one year. The most obvious is living in a different house than before, but change is not always obvious. For me change is a lot of small decisions followed by some type of action. It’s like doing the ‘next right thing’ continuously.

When I left my 25 year marriage, a lot of stuff stayed behind. My ex is moving and had everything he didn’t want to take piled up inside the garage. He told me I could go through and take what I wanted. I stood there and looked at all that stuff we collected over the years and smiled.

It was interesting to see what he found worthy of the new house and what he left behind. He will store most of it because of their worth, but I thought I had to have my red clock. It resembles a giant pocket watch hanging from a chain attached to a wrought iron arm. I took it home.

Spending most of my morning trying to find a good spot to hang this unique clock from my past. What was I thinking?

I tried two locations, and neither of them worked. The first place I tried revealed rather quickly that it wouldn’t take the weight of it, so I stopped before messing up the wall too badly. The second try produced a forced hanging of stabilizing the hole with an anchor before inserting the screw. I was determined to hang this clock! It hung, and I didn’t like it. Walking around looking at it from different angles and trying to make it fit in my life. Sound familiar?

I took it down. Now there are two large holes in the wall. They can be filled and touched up with paint. I’d rather have two holes than something hanging around that doesn’t fit or bring me joy. I will find someone to give it to this season.

When there is change, sometimes it can leave what feels like holes inside us. God can and always has filled the holes.

blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer, Entrepreneur and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and will only eat cake with real buttercream icing. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name given. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

Give It Time

Time reveals all. We have talked about time, patience and waiting patiently, but I am learning, time does reveal all. The big challenge for me is, don’t jump in and start doing. Just be present.

Something interesting happened because of the ‘Box of Love’, this week. This guy taking up space in my daughters heart and mind, sent a couple of his favorite t-shirts in the box. She wore one yesterday, and that evening, she came over to sit beside me in the swing. She said, “You know what sucks about wearing this shirt? It smells like him and makes me really miss him.”

gratefulMy heart hurt for her because I know that pain. I don’t enjoy missing people. It’s normal, but when it causes more pain than goodness in my life, it’s time to re-access.

Today, I am seeing that every person has a reason and a season in my life. I’m not afraid of being hurt because I know it will make me better. Letting Go is a must to keep growing.

Pain can be healthy if we allow it to do it’s job and then let it go. Don’t take is so personally.

Are you familiar with The Four Agreements? I have been pondering them this week, and they have reaffirmed a few of my beliefs. They are #1. Be impeccable with your word. #2. Don’t take anything personally. #3. Don’t make assumptions. #4. Always do your best.

Don’t take anything personally and don’t make assumptions. Those alone are life changers.

Melody Beattie says, “We will be guided into understanding what we need to do to take care of ourselves. We will begin to trust our instincts, our feelings, our thoughts. We will know when to go, to stop, to wait. We will learn a great truth; the plan will happen in spite of us, not because of us.” Thank you God in advance for Your plan and not mine. Be present and give it time.

Time and Patience

I typed in the title for this Blog three days ago. That is when God gave it to me. It has taken me until today for it to fully form in my heart. Was I busy? Did I get distracted? Was He testing me to see if I knew anything about the title?

I went over to my laptop desktop for a picture to use. I try and keep my desktop neat and somewhat clean, so I clicked on the oldest one there. The first one downloaded after the last cleanup. This one caught my eye a month ago.

waitI am learning time takes patience and patience takes time. This has been a big deal for me this year, coming from a woman that was once known as Ms. Ready, Fire, Aim. All year I’ve been waiting on God.

I have found the less I do, the richer my life becomes.

Doing less does not mean being lazy. There are three things I wanted to learn about and grow myself into this year, and by His grace, I am still focused. Writing, teaching how to Let It Go, and encouraging others on my Letitgocoach Facebook page. Magnificent things happen over time.

Has any of these three things happened in my timetable? No. Have they happened quickly? No. Have I felt like giving up and caving in? Yes. linedry

When you keep your eyes and heart fixed on God, you cannot worry about tomorrow. To me, that is not trusting God, and thinking He is going to make a mistake. I’m pretty sure He is incapable of that. God doesn’t make mistakes; we do.

I enjoy calling it, ‘Moments of minding my own business.’ When I least expect it, God will encourage me and let me know, I’m on the right path. He works through people to say, “You doing good Barb! Stay strong!” He will send someone to my Facebook page, or this Blog to encourage me.

November is coming up quick, and am I where I want to be? I don’t think so, but God must have me right where He thinks I should be. It’s going to be His timing and my patience. Now if we can get that ‘like’ button to become ‘love.’

 

blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 16 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a Letitgocoach and help others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is writing her first book.  You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

Fill Me Up

This past Wednesday was my birthday. It tipped me over that half a century mark. This used to concern me, but looking at all the changes that have taken place in my life the past 2 years, the second half is going to be awesome.

blog1I believe it took the first half of my life to discover what happiness is. I am still learning and refining the definition. This plaque is hanging in the hallway of my home, and it’s the first thing I see when I open my eyes in the morning, if I look outside my peaceful retreat.

They are the first words I speak, as I just lay there and ponder all the blessings in my life.

Wednesday morning my phone was notifying me early of activity on Facebook. While I slept, my friends were wishing me a Happy Birthday, so I awoke to a lot of love. This has got to be one of the best uses for Facebook ever! People I hadn’t seen or spoken to in years were on my page, sending love. It was and still is a phenomenal feeling! Love fills me up.

Do we take love for granted?

blog3I know I have in the past, but I try hard not to anymore. It can be refreshed so easily, but extinguished just as easy. We have to give it freely to receive. God loves us unconditionally and is always there to give His love to us if we seek Him. Every touch on my Facebook page Wednesday was like a touch from God. He worked through all my friends to love me up good that day, and I am blessed.

My daughter was so excited for my birthday. She was willing to do anything I chose to do that day, and was anxious to see what that would be. Well, I pretty much do whatever I want to do each day, so this was going to be a challenge. We hopped in the truck to go toward town and see what would bring us joy. The surrounding area where we live is on fire, literally. As we drove closer to town, the Texas sky hung heavy with smoke. Sadness.

blog2Bastrop was like a ghost town, with hardly any traffic, which is eerie for a town filled with so much life. If you are reading this, I ask that you hold these families, firefighters and everybody associated with these fires in your prayers and heart. This area was hurt by fire just a few years ago, so this fire needs to be extinguished. My daughter and I just drove around Wednesday evening and prayed.

The fire in my heart burns bright this week, thanks to all my friends who shared their love. I will have plenty of love to give to these hurting people when it becomes evident who all needs it. These pictures are some items that were given to me on my birthday that made my heart smile. My daughter writes a card for me every year, and this year she hand drew a Mandala.

Thank you for reading and sharing this Blog. Thank you for loving me even when I wasn’t doing a good job of loving myself, and thank you for praying for these precious people going through fire.

Choose Happiness

I have written enough Blogs where I can do a search of what I’m pondering, and some Blogs will pull up. I love that God keeps giving me the same lessons until I pass the test. I was washing dishes just now, pondering, “Don’t Settle.” This is what I found.

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Happiness is something you have to hold onto. Life happens fast and circumstances can steal your joy. People will come into your life to steal your joy because they have none. We can share our joy with others, but don’t give it all away or allow it be taken. Life is 10% of what happens and the 90% is how we react. Hold on tight.

signLast week, I received a text from a friend I haven’t spoken with in a while. She was at one of our favorites stores and saw this sign. She sent me this pic and said, “Saw this today and it reminded me of you.” How sweet is that? I’m honored and delighted that she thought of me when she saw, “Choose Happiness.”

I was talking to another friend recently and listening to the problems she was facing in her life. They all stemmed from certain…

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You’re over 40. What is most important in a relationship?

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