Search Results for: the morning pages

Trust the Wait

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I didn’t do my Morning Pages this morning. I spent time with my daughter before she left for her college classes. Wednesday’s are like that.

I’m still haunted by yesterday’s Morning Pages.

It was basically three pages of questions. Then later in the day I saw these words, “Choose uncertainty over unhappiness.” That is what I chose to do. 

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Every thought turned into a question mark.

I envisioned scooping the question marks off the page and into my hand. Then I threw them up in the air as if saying, “Let it all go and see what stays.”

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This morning I came across a Blog I posted four years ago, and re-posted two years later. What’s funny is I cannot recall what was happening in my life at the time of the post. Reading it gave me the feeling of staring up at a giant while holding a slingshot. Whatever it was is no longer here, and wasn’t memorable. You can read the post here.

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It’s a change of season and with that uncertainty can visit. That doesn’t mean it has permission to drag us over into unhappiness.

Today my lovely, just trust the wait.

A Gratitude Jar

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I didn’t do my Morning Pages this morning.

It’s all good though. My daughter has classes, and I chose to spend time with her before she left.

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Thank you for your encouraging comments yesterday about These Two Jars. I found a shoe-box and dumped the pieces of paper inside. It lost all appeal. It was like the shoe box covered up the idea. I’d probably forget about writing on a slip of paper a day using the box, so back to the jar we went.

Walking away from the shoe box with jar in hand, I just plopped it down on top of the coffee bar to ponder it’s placement. Seeing the jar sitting there this morning, it looked at home, even though it was not planned. Scooping up the pieces of paper from the box I placed them back inside the jar.

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Sometimes I make things more complicated than they should be. The gratitude jar was a simple idea I read about, and then tried to make perfect.

The first idea is the best idea.

Stick with the original idea. That is called inspiration when the idea of adding something meaningful to our lives first strikes. To hear that still small voice and follow through. Logic is overrated in my opinion because by following your heart there doesn’t seem to be a lot of logic to it.

By  paying attention to what’s around us, we can instill the simplistic beauty of a gratitude jar.

Shades of Pink

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Once my daughter painted her room, it prompted a change in mine. My bedroom is already a color, and it’s a pleasant neutral, so this is not a need. It’s been a slow burning want.

My favorite color has always been Red, but I surprised myself.

Walking into my room with two paint samples. One was a good, solid red, and the other was a pale version of red. After trying each on the wall, I chose the softer one. It feels good.

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Courtesy of Shades of Pink

This morning, this photo came up on my Facebook news feed.

It was posted by one of my favorite pages called Shades of Pink. I have settled into no social media apps on my phone. Checking it via laptop a couple of times a day is sufficient.

Melody Beattie’s words that resonated today are:

“Stay open to every opportunity.” (Doing that)

“If you’re tired, rest. If you’re sad, cry.” (Did that)

“Let destiny have it’s way with you.” (Thought-provoking)

Right before falling asleep lastnight, I read this. “Maybe that relationship that made you doubt yourself so much came along to help you learn to listen to and trust your inner voice.”

I’m not bold Red. Presently, I am various Shades of Pink.

Live and Learn

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I’m learning so much, just by living this life God has given me. Seeing what each day brings, and instead of ignoring it, walking through it. It’s not easy, but well worth it.

I found myself frustrated earlier in the week. Things were not going my way, and you would think, I’d be over that by now, and just go with the flow. When that occurs, I have a chat with God, and usually wind up in tears.

He is just trying to get me to trust Him more and more. I leave the house in a few hours, to get the rest of my hair shaved off.

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Not sure why it has taken me so long to ‘let go’ of my hair. It wasn’t even good hair like in this Meme. It was just hair. Let me encourage you, if you are going through this Breast Cancer Journey, or any journey that messes with your outer shell, let it go.

My hairdresser/friend wanted to do that in the very beginning, but no, I thought I wasn’t ready.

Listen to the people God places in your path. God knows you can handle it, or you wouldn’t be there.

So now, I have a million little one inch hairs everywhere! All over my pillowcases, and sheets, and just about everywhere really. I handed my daughter a cup of coffee yesterday, and even that had a one inch hair laying in it.

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This Meme is from one of my favorite pages, Wild Woman Sisterhood. This is how I feel at this moment. God has sent women from all over to embrace me on this path. I am blessed.

Women I have never met before, and some don’t even know my name, besides Coach. I am Letitgocoach, but I am also a child of the one true King, that has Cancer for a little while.

I will be mentioning these women throughout these posts, but let’s start with the most recent. Talking to her this morning via messenger, I was sharing I would be shiny bald this afternoon. She wants to send me a scarf, the same blue as my eyes. We exchanged addresses, but Amazon wouldn’t ship to my PO Box. She is going to have it shipped to her first, and then send it on to me. God is going to give her a chance to hold it, and bless it.

I met her through Facebook, just like the majority of the other brave souls lighting the way. When I started that page two years ago, it was my mission to encourage others, and lift them up on their journey. It still is my mission, but through this journey, they are lifting me. Is it how I envisioned? No, but I wouldn’t change a thing. It is all part of a greater plan.

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Chocolate and Chemo

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I woke up this morning wanting to put the brakes on my life. Just for a few days. Everything happened so fast. The list of who I’ve seen and what has been done is huge. Tomorrow, I get my port placement inserted very early. Austin is growing on me.

I went to see my doctor today. He is delightful, and has a sparkling attitude. He was going over the results of the MRI, with this puzzled look on his face. He said when they did the mammogram and ultrasound, they saw three other small satellites floating around the one mass. After reviewing the MRI, which is significantly more detailed, there were none.

No satellites. Just the one mass alone.

He looked puzzled, but it was no surprise to me. I flat out told him, “God is healing me!”

He smiled, nodded his head, still looking at the MRI and said, “Yes. We need God.”

Then I went to learn all about Chemo.

I had my book ready to take notes, but didn’t need it. On her lap was this large binder filled with pages , which were all going home with me. I put my book away. She started flipping through all the pages, and at first it was mild. She was telling me what I could expect from the medicines.

It was all good until she started talking about some negative effects of the combined Chemo. My face was priceless I’m sure as I looked at her and said, “Rebuke.”

I’m just walking up to doors on this journey. Tapping to see if they open. When they do, I walk through and see what the person on the other side has in store. God has lined up the most wonderful people for me. My doctor laughs and says, “You’re gonna be just fine.”

The lady in the Chemo department is excited about me being there. I noticed about 3/4 of the way through her stack of pages, she just stopped and put them up. She said she didn’t see any need to go over the rest because I was gonna be just fine. As I was leaving, she told me, “We’re gonna have fun! I’m so glad you’re here. We need you.”

God has me right where I’m supposed to be. After we left Austin, I stopped and bought this.

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A bowl full of chocolate that I best enjoy now, because chocolate and Chemo don’t mix.

Time to Sweep

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I woke up this morning to a pounding headache.

This has been happening more than usual, so I sat down to ponder. Eying my Yoga mat in the corner, I rolled it out and got into child’s pose. That is how I feel this morning, like a child.

There was a day when I woke up feeling worse than this every morning. On November 10th, I get to celebrate 17 years sober. When I wake up like this, it makes me grateful that it’s not a self induced feeling. This too shall pass.

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I went in search of something pretty and found this on one of my favorite Facebook pages, Rantings of a Beautiful Mind. Even the name of the page is pretty and I always find something there. I thought about taking a Facebook fast, but enjoy encouraging people there. Maybe God is trying to remind me this morning, it’s not all about me.

As I sit here and look at my hard wood floors, I see dog hair and grass. This is hard on me because I enjoy clean floors. I have learned to handle dirt and clutter at times, but I just swept yesterday.

What else needs sweeping from my life?

I have allowed it to become unbalanced and off center. God is my center and everything about Him is good. What in my life is not good? I won’t burden you with the list. God is working in my life and He has out the broom. I have a broom, and know how to use it.

Let Them Go

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I love mornings. It’s the start of a new day and is full of possibilities. Sometimes it’s easy to feel the effects of the previous day. A conversation with someone didn’t end right, or a misunderstanding may need resolution. Try not to bring yesterday into today. Look at this day for what it is, a new day and realize that yesterday is in the past.

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The past can ruin your day. Choose to stop dragging it around with you. If someone hurt your feelings yesterday, or made you mad, Let It Go and move on. If you are an important part of their life, they will reach out and let you know you are loved. The past doesn’t define us but it will refine us.

Don’t hold a grudge. A grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Try not to let the sun go down on your anger. When I go to bed angry, I always wake up feeling miserable. We’re not responsible for anyone’s words or actions except our own. Be the best you can be, and trust in knowing you are more than enough.

Enjoy this beautiful day. If you’re not seeing the beauty, it may be time to clean up your playground. Cut the ties that bind you to negativity and unhealthy relationships. Your life can be beautiful if you choose carefully. Treat yourself with the respect and kindness you deserve. If others cannot then they shouldn’t be there. Let them go.