This Ain’t Easy

If you had $20 to your name, how would you spend it? Years ago, I would spend that money on diapers. Today, I would spend $13 on my favorite candle, and the rest would be a toss up between a Pumpkin Spice Latte, or actual food.

Does that sound silly? I try to be a good steward of everything God gives me, including money. I think He knows, there are a lot of small things I would rather buy before food. It’s just not that important to me. A home that smells like fall from an amazing candle? The moment of savoring my favorite fall coffee drink? Those are important to me.

faithIt’s not easy living in the calling God gives you. God put a desire in me to write and that is what I do. Is it perfect grammar? I’m from Texas, it ain’t gonna be perfect.

I know one of my God given gifts is an Encourager. God prompted me once my legal separation began to start writing publicly. I have always kept a journal, but He wanted to show people my life. Walking through alcoholism and a divorce wasn’t easy, but it was possible. That is all my daughter and I need. Possible.

It is all thanks to God. He gets all the glory for it and that is what I’m here to share.

I’ve had the life of get up, take kids to school, go to work, pick kids up, eat dinner, go to bed and start all over. When it was time for my son to attend high school, the thought horrified me. He was such a good kid, I was afraid he would be eaten alive, so I homeschooled him. Then my daughters school closed down after her 3rd grade year, and I chose to homeschool her. That was the beginning of quality of life for us.sky

When she was younger, I would take her to work with me. As she got older, employers started to frown upon that, so God opened a door for me to work from home. When she turned 13, the beginning of her teenage years, I worked virtually for a friend of mine in California and still do, part time. It was less hours and less money, but the rewards!

That was when I found it to be true that we can make better choices and have a better life. My daughter took this picture of the sky behind our house. She goes outside almost everyday between 6 and 7 pm. The time she goes out depends on the colors reflecting in the house from outside. It’s the beauty factor that gets her attention.

This morning, I was going through a file I have for her in my email. In it was an email she sent a year ago, wishing me a Happy Birthday. The words that jumped off the page this morning were, “I want to be like you when I grow up.” This humbled me as gratitude just spilled out for this beautiful life God has given us. Once again, this must be God.
 

The Kitchen Window

I love my kitchen window. There is always something interesting going on whenever I walk by. This causes me to stop, stand in front of it and gaze out in that moment. Maybe it’s a ‘Present Moment Portal’, and not just a window.

2015-09-22 09.02.06I gave away two of our four cats yesterday. These two guys got to stay. I saw them out the window, in the field next to the house, as the day was flooding in, catching mice. That is their job and they do it well.

The other two laid on the pillows in my porch swing, expecting me to walk by and pour cat food in their mouths. I found them a new home. To enjoy the present moment, you need to place yourself in the space to enjoy it. Today, I got to sit in my swing and enjoy that early morning moment.

Do you ever worry about things that haven’t even happened yet?

That is where I spent yesterday. I am not a worrier, and I teach people how to let go of worry and overwhelm. I read an article the other day by a man who teaches about the present moment, and he caught himself multitasking. Bringing way too much into his moment.  He made a vow to go back to single tasking and enjoying each task.  Awareness is the first step to change.

Toward the end of the month, I tend to become worried about the house payment for the upcoming month. I think this is from going through foreclosure on a home years ago. There is still that lingering uncertainty.

Looking at the facts, there is nothing to worry about. Have I always made the house payment? Yes. Does it place me in a financial hardship? No. Am I grateful for my home and for God providing such a beautiful place to live? Yes.

“Trust me and refuse to worry,” were the first words in my devotional this morning. “Keep your mind in the present moment. Among all My creatures, only humans can anticipate future events. This ability is a blessing, but it becomes a curse when it’s misused. If you use your magnificent mind to worry, you cloak yourself in dark unbelief. However, when the hope of heaven fills your thoughts, the Light of My Presence envelops you.” Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.

That is God’s plan for today, which sounds a lot more refreshing than mine from yesterday. That plan, is a good plan.

 

blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 16 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a Letitgocoach and help others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is writing her first book.  You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

Change Your Life

You have the power to change your life. God doesn’t want us to have a mediocre life. Do we serve a mediocre God? Our lives should reflect His goodness and plan for us. Every word that falls out of our mouths serves as a compass.

its-a-new-day-live-it-debbie-deePay attention to your thoughts and words. I have seen it continuously in my life where words became reality. When my ex husband told me. “We are going to have a marriage just like our parents did,” something inside me rose up and said, “Not gonna happen.” I saw our lives flash before my eyes where we would spend ten more years together only to walk away complete strangers. Feeling older than our age from these years.

When I refused to settle for that life, a space opened for God to move. He had everything lined up, I just had to look. The right house and location, everything fell into place without much effort from me. It was there waiting for me to become willing to step out and trust. My life is completely different today and is still changing.

pathEveryday my life is new. Each day is different because I am willing to follow God and continue to change. Yesterday, on my drive, I was listening to Joel Osteen. After listening to a couple of teaching CD’s, there was one more calling my name. Pushing the buttons on the CD player, prompting it to queue and load, it gave me an error message.

I tried some more buttons and continued getting error messages with every button pressed. I spoke outloud rather loudly, “All I want, right now, is for this CD player to work,” determined to listen to the last CD. Suddenly, the screen read, ‘Load’, queued up and began working perfectly.

The teaching was about the power of words, which is what I’m sharing today. When we speak outloud, the words gain power in your life. God heard my cry, He knew my heart, so boom, the CD player started working. Power is in positive and negative, so it depends on what you say. If your life is a mess, clean up your mouth and your life will follow. Everyday, speak outloud the life you want to have, so God can hear and begin lining things up to give it to you.

 

blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 16 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a Letitgocoach and help others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is writing her first book.  You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

I Love Weekends

I love weekends. There is something about the weekend, that gives me a deeper sense of pleasure. It’s when I take extra time, walking through my world and noticing every little thing. What needs some extra attention and what grabs mine. Then that ADD moment when one of my fave songs comes on,  Somebody Like You, by Keith Urban.

blogsprinkleThe first thing that needed some love was my chickens. I raised Exotics and Layers a few years ago. Today, I only have three. Could I handle more? Why sure, but three is enough for my daughter and me to enjoy. When you start to have more, there is more money and maintenance involved. Plus, they lay eggs and for two people, you don’t need many eggs. That is when you have to start selling them and it turns into a weekend business. Uh, no.

After checking on their needs, I turned on the sprinkler. The ground is dry and they enjoy scratching the earth. I caught myself standing in my kitchen, staring at the sprinkler for several minutes. There is a trumpet vine growing along the fence that I would love to see bloom one more time. The sprinkler will make the chickens, the vine and the earth happy.

blogflowerI fertilized the Bougainvillea yesterday going for one more massive bloom with it as well. There are two of these hanging from my front porch and they have been a labor of love. I have learned a lot watching these guys grow from twigs in the planters to the size they are now.

I had always loved the fullness and the blooms of this plant, but have not been successful with them until now. Deciding to try again, I bought these guys the first year of my legal separation and loved them as much as I could. I remember wanting them to bloom so badly, but being young plants, it was taking time and patience. Right at the end of summer, I walked outside to find them in bloom. They held their blooms until cooler weather set in.

blogmushroomWalking back into the house, I noticed some mushrooms growing underneath my daughters strawberry plant. Probably gave it too much water late in the day yesterday, but it’s cool, they are pretty to look at. My daughter saw this plant at a local Farmer’s Market months ago.

It was small and had two strawberries hanging from it. The plant was marked down to $2.00, so she had to have it. It was heading toward the end of it’s season, but grew a few more strawberries after we replanted it. We were picked on by friends, in a loving way, about having a strawberry plant vibrantly growing on our porch in the heat of the summer. It was happy. Part sun and shade, besides, what plant wouldn’t thrive in that colorful pot.

blogteaWhile enjoying everything on the porch, I forgot the water I had turned on for tea. Have become quite attached to Rooibos. It’s one of those things you pour into you body and your body thanks you for it. Feels good. Once it was ready, a full cup came with me to sit and write.

My daughter is at her Dad’s this weekend, otherwise today would look somewhat different. We would be enjoying the moments together, but probably in town instead of home. After spending many years driving her to swim, dance, martial arts, various activities and those weekend birthday parties, it’s nice to enjoy my world today. I used to rush through it with her.

It’s never too late to stop and start over. Our life together the past three years has been phenomenal! It hasn’t always been easy, but it is still beautiful. How many 16 year olds say, “Mom? We are a great team. We have each others back no matter what.” Not many.

We have done this life together and we are best friends. I am still her Mother and get to lecture her about her data usage over and over again, but she knows I love her and want the very best for her life. It’s not about having a lot. It’s about loving what you have and enjoying every moment. Here’s to a beautiful weekend, Beautiful Souls ❤

 

blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 16 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a Letitgocoach and help others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is writing her first book.  You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

Choose Happiness

I have written enough Blogs where I can do a search of what I’m pondering, and some Blogs will pull up. I love that God keeps giving me the same lessons until I pass the test. I was washing dishes just now, pondering, “Don’t Settle.” This is what I found.

Letitgocoach

Happiness is something you have to hold onto. Life happens fast and circumstances can steal your joy. People will come into your life to steal your joy because they have none. We can share our joy with others, but don’t give it all away or allow it be taken. Life is 10% of what happens and the 90% is how we react. Hold on tight.

signLast week, I received a text from a friend I haven’t spoken with in a while. She was at one of our favorites stores and saw this sign. She sent me this pic and said, “Saw this today and it reminded me of you.” How sweet is that? I’m honored and delighted that she thought of me when she saw, “Choose Happiness.”

I was talking to another friend recently and listening to the problems she was facing in her life. They all stemmed from certain…

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A Mindful Morning

I woke up this morning thinking, ‘I need a job.’ That is hilarious to see hours later, but I had to admit it. There are days I wonder what I’m doing and why don’t I just go live a normal life. A job would be reliable, but I’d be miserable.

I have a job assisting a friend in California three and a half days a week. It is done virtually, which gives me the flexibility in schedule and the joy of working from home. I get to write, think of ways to encourage people and work.

My first job, after I left the workforce, was to take care of my daughter during the separation between her father and me. To be perfectly honest, I think we took care of one another that year. Next up was to let go of my past and learn to live. My life began transforming into beauty, which I guess it already was, but I hadn’t stopped long enough to look. Seeing the present moment and noticing everything in it. I started sharing pictures on Facebook of a beautiful life.

flowerGod promises beauty from ashes and here it was. I was living it. Friends started referring to my life as ‘Inbarbsworld.’ I wanted people to see that life after divorce can be beautiful. I enjoyed letting go so much I received my certification in it. It’s a balance of letting go and letting God.

Last year was the year of learning how to live. This year I’m refining it, or it’s refining me. I am grateful to follow God and be sober.

In 2014 this Blog began. It encourages me to see it has reached twice as many people already this year alone, compared to the entire first year. The job I love is paying off! Thank you for reading what I love to write.

That is what I do. I love on people until they can love themselves. Most of it is done virtually, but I do enjoy going out into the real world. The trip to Colorado was an eye opener for me with the loss of technology. If you missed it, you can read it here I got better as the week went on, but it made me ponder if I was addicted to my phone. The notifications make life easy.

My phone also makes life noisy. It’s fun to push myself and see what I can live without. Does the phone make my life that much better? When my phone bill came due, I decided not to pay it. To just skip a week and see what happens. To think of it as a phone fast is what worked for me. The weekend was a fail. It would automatically connect to WiFi if I was visiting a place I had been before and everything would start rolling in. Today, I had to turn it off completely.

My life is quieter. Through my laptop, I can still encourage people virtually, it just may not be so immediate. Without the notifications, I have to remind myself to go in and check email, banking, Facebook, Twitter and everything that used to notify me of activity. My time has more quality. The beauty that surrounds me in more noticeable because I’m not staring at a screen in my hand. I enjoy looking out the truck window during the ride instead of at my phone.

Maybe you gave up your phone a long time ago. I didn’t think I could. If this keeps going like it has today, I’ll be on a new level of simplicity. Dejan Stojanovic says it best, “They blossomed, they did not talk about blossoming.” They just did.

 

blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 16 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a Letitgocoach and help others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is writing her first book.  You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t Do It

As I was dropping my daughter off yesterday, to spend the weekend with her Dad, she hugged me and said, “Don’t do anything Mom. Be still and wait on God.” She knows I am in an uncomfortable moment in life and shared her wisdom.

katieblogDoing what’s right and doing the next right thing is how I enjoy living my life. When I feel mistreated by someone in my life and it happens unexpectedly, I have to pause. My sponsor taught me, “Wait three days before making a decision.” The only behavior I can control is my own.

I am so grateful for sobriety today! Some things happened this week that would have not been pretty if I were still drinking. Drinking would have caused an irrational reaction and made matters much worse. Being sober gives me clarity of mind and I get to respond instead of reacting.

Drinking took pretty out of my life. It clouded my vision and thinking to the point of not enjoying the actual moment. As I sit and type this, I’m overlooking a lake. The breeze is lightly blowing across the water and with the sun hitting it at the same time, it looks like someone just dumped a truckload of glitter onto the surface. I get to see that today.

stormThere is a small storm brewing in my life right now. It was caused by the actions of others, but it’s still painful for me. I was listening to Joel Osteen during the drive to the lake yesterday. He was talking about being pushed into your purpose. What we feel right before the big push.

God uses pressure to make many things and that includes our character. My daughter saw the pressure I was under and encouraged me not to move. My circumstances are beckoning to be fixed, but I am determined to wait on God. I’m in the birth canal right before the push.

God will use what I’m going through for my good and His glory, as long as I stay out of it. The minute I step in and fix it, His power ceases. I like to think of it as a test. I want to pass it, so I don’t have to keep retaking it. God doesn’t cause trouble, but He will use it to make us better. The more quiet and still I become, the better I can hear. Being sober today shows me options I couldn’t see before. Thank you God for sobriety and for being with me in the storm.

 

blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 16 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a Letitgocoach and help others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and enjoys Blogging about her life.  You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com