Tag: #30daysofwriting

Call Me Numi

I awoke early this morning, to the sound of Doggo trying to scratch an itch. She laid in the hallway lastnight, and slept through the night. It’s pretty funny when she starts snoring.

I didn’t take time to write yesterday. Challenging myself to write everyday for 30 days has taught me many things. One is that I am challenging myself, so I need to be kind to myself when I miss a day. It was a busy day, but I believe I composed three Blogs in my head. Stopping, and taking the time to let the words flow onto the screen is what I missed.

We gave Doggo a name yesterday. My daughter didn’t want a human name. She wanted something unique, but something that fit her. She watched her over the weekend, hoping her personality would spark inspiration. If that were the case, her name would be ‘Lazy!’

My daughter and I frequent this coffee shop in Marble Falls, TX. The name of the shop is Numinous. It means, “Describing an experience that makes you fearful, yet fascinated, awed yet attracted-the powerful personal feeling of being overwhelmed and inspired.”

This definition describes all the feels upon meeting Doggo. I was fearful, yet attracted. When I found her hiding in the barn, I felt overwhelm. I could tell she had some Pitbull in her, and people still fight them around here. I didn’t know what she had been through, or how she got here, but I could see by her scars it hadn’t been pretty.

After a couple of days, I brought her up to the front porch so she could lay in the sun. I sat down face to face with her, and took this picture. A picture says a thousand words indeed.

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Her name is now Numinous, but we call her Numi for short. To give her a chance to become what she is called which is pronounced, ‘New Me.’

A Lazy Day

I believe sometimes we just need to admit to this. It is a lazy day, and that’s okay.

I’m sitting in my room overlooking the lake. It’s windy, but sunny, and I love watching the wind blow across the water. It wouldn’t be fun in a boat, but it’s soothing from where I sit.

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I’m to a point in my life, where I don’t feel guilty for taking a day to do absolutely nothing. The busy bee season is long gone, thank God. Today, I will allow my soul to catch up with the rest of me. I’m giving myself permission to enjoy a lazy day.

A Safe Space

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We all need a place to hide from time to time. That is where the healing begins.

My hope is that you find this Blog, a safe place to be. It is my honor and privilege to be led by God to create such a space. Your injured soul is safe.

Find a Home

I didn’t really wanna write today. This is Day 20 of challenging myself to write everyday for 30 days. It comes very easily for me now, but as you can see, I waited all day to do it!

I woke up this morning physically tired. It’s not unusual for a Friday because I just had 5 straights days of driving back and forth to Radiation. It’s a 45 minute drive there, and back, for a 15 minute appointment. Today, I slowed way down, and took some time for myself.

Yesterday, I thought more coffee was the answer to get me through the day. After leaving Radiation, I drove to one of my favorite coffee shops downtown. Beside the coffee shop is one of my favorite shops. It’s owned by a mother, and daughter, and they have some of the prettiest things! They have a floral department in the back, so I popped in there first.

I have become friends with the mother, and she knows all about my Breast Cancer Journey. We talked, and got caught up on each others life.

By now, I am standing in front of the cooler gazing at the flowers. I asked about the purple Hydrangeas, but she wasn’t sure they would last long. There were three of them, and one had started to wilt, so the others would too.

She said, “They might last a day.” I told her I would take them and love them for today.

She opened the cooler, and pulled them out. We walked over to the counter where I was ready to pay her for them, but no. She handed them to me with a wink and a big smile.

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I leaned over the counter, gave her a hug and whispered in her ear, “I love you!”

She responded with the same, and I made my way over to the coffee shop. I brought them home, cut the stems short, and put them in water. By the look of them, I knew they would be pretty for at least one day, but I wasn’t sure if any longer than that.

When I saw them this morning, they were more beautiful than yesterday! They had perked up and in full bloom! They just needed to find a home.

“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.” ~Alexander Den Heijer~

You’ll Find Me

There is a song by Big Daddy Weave entitled, “You Found Me.” It describes the day God found him, or he was saved. It goes on to say, “To be held so tight, I’ve never felt so free.”

To be saved. That has numerous meaning today. Life will shoot us full of holes, and we long for those hole to be filled. To feel a sense of completeness. To feel like a whole being. I used alcohol for many years trying to fill in those gaps, but that hole I was using everything to fill, was a God shaped hole. He was the only one that could fill me up.

He found me. God is always there. It’s up to us to let Him into our hearts. So, in essence, He didn’t find me, I found Him. It was just like the song says, “When I saw a flash of light and I heard the sound, of a voice like thunder shake the ground. It was the first time I remember ever feeling my heart beat.”  God and I have been forever friends for 18 years.

Lose yourself. Sometimes you have to lose yourself in the moment to be found.

Maybe everyone wants to be found, but it’s best to find yourself first. That is an evolving experience for me. I learn new things about myself, and the people I have in my life help bring that about. Be a student of life willing to learn, and with that, a teacher will appear.

My daughter and I were watching one of our favorite shows. The woman in the show was going to break up with the main character. It scared her that she lost herself in him. Her Mother had a talk with her and she said, “You didn’t get lost in him. You got lost in the love you have for one another. That is where you find each other.”

To be found you need to be good with getting lost. We try to hold it all together, and be strong, but that makes for a lonely life.

To love, and be loved. That is where you’ll find me.

There’s A Doggo

My daughter spent the weekend with her Dad. She got sick, and is still there getting her strength back. I am not happy she was sick, but I’m pretty relieved she is not here yet.

I pulled into my driveway yesterday afternoon, and parked in front of the barn. Laying in the barn was a dog. We have doggo’s come around from time to time, but they never stay. They are usually just looking for food, and are too afraid to come near ya. In case you don’t realize the dilemma here, my daughter loves dogs, and she will want to keep it.

My daughter would have 40 dogs if allowed. She is to stay away from animal shelters for that reason. She sees them on the side of the road while driving, and wants to stop and pick them up. She has a huge heart, and that heart is not only for humans. The doggo is high on her list of faves, so I have no idea what to do about this one living in my barn.

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I walked up to the barn this morning to feed the cats. Standing in the barn, I hear a rustling noise coming from a dark corner. There is a stack of boxes over there, and out walks the doggo. I didn’t expect her to still be here, so the noise startled me a bit. She had made a bed on top of the boxes, and she was hiding. From what, I’m not sure yet.

She looks healthy, but is less than a year old. You can tell she still has puppy in her.

She wagged her tail so hard when she saw me, her whole body moved along with it. I decided to feed the cats somewhere else, and bring her some food. She had to be hungry by now. When I poured the food into the metal bowl, she inhaled it. She was indeed hungry. I then brought her some water, but she was hoping it was more food. Oh…what have I done!

There is something to be said for being chosen.

This doggo found us, and I am pleased that she has made our barn her shelter. I am guessing someone dropped her off after seeing this little farmhouse, with a fenced in yard, and barn. If she stays, she stays. If she goes, she goes. We will see once my daughter gets home. If she is still here when that occurs, pray for me now, because doggo will be home.

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One More Day

I am going to post two Blogs today. It doesn’t happen often, but I have another one in me. If you are reading this, you may want to read the one from this morning, “Which Way Home.” A change of events occurred after posting that one, and I got my one more day.

Note to self. Do not let the dog outside as you’re loading up your truck.

Mr. Smith has a Min Pin, (miniature Doberman Pincher), that decided to race out the door as soon as I opened it. I didn’t think too much about it because he usually comes back in a few minutes. Once I finished loading my truck, I noticed the time was moving closer to my Radiation appointment, and he hadn’t returned. I was going to have to go look for him.

My left breast has a deep burn going on after 21 treatments. I started putting pure Aloe Vera on it yesterday, and thought, it would be nice to have one more day to keep it covered in Aloe. Thanks to Mr. Smith’s dog, I got my one more day. He came home an hour later.

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There was one thing I wanted to do while Smith was at work. To clean up my room.

Smith gave me this room to enjoy as I write, and tinker with stained glass. It got covered up with boxes from Christmas, and the table was full. I love this room and the view! By taking one more day to soothe my soul, I would also have it to heal my burned boob. I took a shower, put on Aloe , my Yoga pants, a comfortable t-shirt, and walked into the room.

I tore down all the empty boxes, and have them ready to be picked up. Then it was time to organize all this glass. Smith’s grandmother used to work with glass, and I am blessed to have all her leftover pieces. The tool caddy needed to be put together completely, so I did that as well. While looking at what I had in the caddy, I realized two things I would need.

While doing a Google search for the items, I felt my heart prompting me to look through the box of glass. Pulling out all of the pieces, and getting down to the bottom of the box. There is where I found the items I needed. The tool caddy is complete, and the room is cleaned, and organized. Sometimes the body and soul just need that one more day.