Tag: AA

Your Want To

This Blog post is for anyone suffering from an addiction.

To overcome the addiction, you have to want to. Your ‘want to‘ has to become bigger than it. God created us to be overcomers, and because He has overcome the world, there is nothing we cannot overcome through Him.

I give credit to AA for opening up the relationship I have with God today. The first 3 steps are all about God, and this scares some people away, but He took the desire to drink away from me. I will happily spend the rest of my life serving Him, because I get to enjoy life sober.

There will always be an excuse to drink. Someone asked me once, “How do you know you’re an alcoholic?” Because normal people can have one drink, and stop. My one drink was the entire bottle of wine. To numb the feelings that were bubbling up inside of me. When I stopped drinking, I had to feel those feelings. With sobriety there is no hiding.

When you stop drinking, you meet all the parts of yourself you’ve been at war with. Face them.

It’s no big secret how to stay sober. Go to meetings. That means I have to shower, get in my truck, and drive, and then walk into a room full of people who are there for the same reason as me. You can sit in front of a computer screen in an online meeting. I did that. I also drank wine while watching what was being said in the online meeting. You can’t isolate and stay sober.

My fear of waking up hungover, and not remembering what I said and did is real. I will go to any length to enjoy this life God has given me and remain sober. My ‘want to’ overcomes any fear.

The Oldtimers

I just finished reading a Blog written by a young lady. Younger than me anyway, and she truly learned just by living her life. I was amazed at the wisdom in such a young mind.

On the other end of the spectrum, I thought of the oldtimers. These were the souls sitting in my AA meetings well over retirement age. I would sit and listen to them share their life lessons, and soak up every word. They would share the good times, and the bad, and I could learn what to do, and what not to do in sobriety. Similar to listening to a parent.

Have you ever thought, “I wish I had listened to my mother/father?”

I know I have. One of my brother’s never listened to anyone, so he learned life the hard way. He told me over Christmas that thanks to his wife, he was still alive. Now, he could tell us some stories, because I’m pretty sure he did everything ‘the rule book’ of life said not to. He is pushing 60 years old now, but he is full of wisdom, and blessed to be alive.

The longer you are on this earth, the more you learn. Adding years to my age doesn’t scare me. I believe what would scare me is if I kept it all to myself, and didn’t share my life with others. That they may read something they needed to hear to help determine their path. I don’t look back and see mistakes or have regret. They were all a part of life, and I learned.

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