Love and Light

Today is her birthday and she turned 21.

She’s not here though. She’s in England.

It’s an odd feeling for both of us. We were texting the other night about her turning 21, and she said, “I wish I were five.” Well, my darling. I remember five, and wondered if I’d do anything different? Then she said, “We have a beautiful life.”

bayandmomo
Here she is at 5 years old.

She is the reason I started this Blog.

Just because I’m  taking a break from Blogging, doesn’t mean I cannot celebrate this day with you. The meaningful work-To serve the people I care about by writing another chapter. Let’s write more chapters.

One of my favorite pictures of us was right after we moved into our first home together. It was a tiny house situated on 40 acres of land. I kept her hook baited, while she fished from the pier. That pier is where I stood with God every morning before dawn. That was also the house that taught us how to kill scorpions.

We were walking to the truck, and you grabbed me for a selfie. We weren’t wearing any makeup, and I had forgotten to use eye drops that morning, but it was a moment. Even blurry-eyed, we have that ‘deep in your heart’ happiness. Our life felt groundless, as the only thing we knew we had was God, and He has us.

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March 2014

We’ve had chickens, kittens, dogs, and a baby duck live with us. You think it’s normal to hang a disco ball in an old oak tree. When we decided to move, I had to leave it there because it was infested with ants, but you bought a new one for here.

The light from the disco ball dances across the kitchen table where you sit, but today even though your chair is empty, the light is still there. Our life is made of love and light.

I’m here to wish you a spectacular birthday! It’s a new chapter and you’re holding the pen. Touch it to the paper my darling, and make it what you want. Feel and see the love and light.

theworld

Showers That Shine

“Get your shit together”, is what I’d tell her.

Of course, I was referring to her need to pack for her weekend with her Dad. She was much younger then, but now that’s she’s a young adult, we say it to one another in jest.

Hugging her goodbye I’d say, “I’ll try and get my shit together while you’re away.” 🙂

I spent some time Sunday, scrubbing the shower, which I’d been putting off, but now it shines. Then I saw the plastic liner to the shower curtain. It’s supposed to be clear, but it wasn’t. Into the washer it went. One thing led to another and what began with the tub/shower, the entire bathroom benefited.

Life just flows, until we hit a bump.

I’m in a moment of uncertainty with one of my jobs. The email came in over the weekend as an announcement to the Team that someone else will be taking over the phones. The phones are part of my job, but not after this Friday. A door is closing.

Sitting at my desk today, I don’t really feel like I have my shit together, but at least the bathroom does. I appreciate how God helps us leave a situation when it’s time, even if we’re not entirely ready.

Here’s to trusting the process my darlings, and showers that shine.

Two of Everything

When my daughter and I first began living this life together, you could look around and see two of everything. The house has two bedrooms. There’s two overstuffed chairs in the den. Two blankets on a nearby shelf readily available.

We created a life for two.

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It’s time to open my heart for more.

I have these two bowls. They each have a plate that matches and I bought them years ago.

While shopping, I pay attention to other bowls that might match. The shape is so hard to find. They are shallow and wide. I wasn’t overly focused on the color, as long as they complimented one another. Then it happened. Strolling by a shelf full of bowls, that color caught my eye.

There was only one on the shelf.

bowls

My daughter and I always use place-mats, cloth napkins and real dinnerware. We set the table for every meal, but maybe that’s not normal for most. What’s normal to us may look like a lot effort to others.

Today my darlings, if you set down at our table and see a bowl that fits, but doesn’t quite match…that’s the extra effort. I’m adding to the two of everything.

Make Small Choices

“Maybe I’m too picky?”, was my thought.

I debunked that thought quickly after taking a glance at the past and seeing where not being picky landed me. Quality of life reflects choices my darling, no matter how small.

At 10:00 am I made my second Chemex. I’m not sitting here highly caffeinated because I poured the first Chemex out after tasting half a cup. I didn’t like the taste, but that meant wrestling the beast for the cup I wanted.

thebeast
The Kitchenaide Burr Grinder.

Meet the beast. The best burr grinder ever.

It’s solid steel and weighs a good chunk, especially to be lifted first thing in the morning. That’s what it was going to take to have the cup of coffee my heart desired. The beans that are stored in the top chamber are one of my favorite brands, but I bought the wrong origin. They have a bitter aftertaste I cannot acquire.

I slid the glass container off the bottom that catches the grinds, (important) removed the lid, picked him up and poured the beans into a container. Then refilled the top chamber with pure happiness and made another Chemex.

summermoon

Quality of life doesn’t happen automatically. Make Small Choices.

Keep Watching Darling

Life is what you make it.

I believe this with every fiber of my being. I watched my Mama do her very best and she watched hers.

It looked hard.

It’s how we see it. There’s options.

Choose wisely. Victim or victor?

Last week, my daughter witnessed my breaking point. I plopped down on the edge of my bed and had a good cry. My daughter wrapped her arm around me and lifted me up with these words. She said, “Next week is a new week. Make it what you want.”

A beautiful life is not easy.

Keep watching darling.

abeautifullife

Oh Sugar Sugar

Looking in the mirror this morning, my face has a healthy glow. My eyes are clear and my heart is happy to have spent three days at the beach.

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Padre Island

Getting back to normal life I was ready to smell something good. They sell Swan Creek Candles in Texas, so it’s a little odd I bought these at the beach, but I’ve never seen this particular one before. It called my name.

melties

A good pink, glitter and that name!

Our hallway smells amazing!

Oh, sugar sugar. I love sweets, but my daughter tells me, “Cancer loves sugar!”, so I’m mindful of intake. Just because I’m careful by not eating too much, doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy it. I’m happy with pictures of it!

sugar

Spending time at the beach shed new light. I see change in store, but for now join me in the delightment of oh sugar sugar.

It’s Worth It

My daughter was away from home and sent me this meme. It’s us.

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Her memes are hilarious.

I found myself recently responding to comments with, “It’s worth it.” My mind began flashing images of this life and it’s all been worth it.

When my daughter is away from home, I close her bedroom door. Our dog Winnie loves to lay on her bed, even if she’s covered in dirt from playing outside. Daughter comes home and it’s okay to hop up there.

This is one of my favorite photos.

winnie
Phot Cred. Simply Semloh

Letting doggo on bed for moments like this? It’s worth it.

Send it Back

The peony is almost out of season.

I love this flower. It has layers of petals and to watch them slowly unfold brings contentment. My life is so simple that I’m entertained by watching peonies open before my eyes. 🙂

A nearby store carries them, but supply is getting low, so I bought what they had.

When I woke up the next day and walked by the coffee table, I stopped and stared.

peony

They had burst open during the night.

The store offers a 5 day guarantee on flowers. If they don’t open properly you can return them.

I found the receipt, placed them in a bag and took them back to the store. The florist remembered me from the day before.

She didn’t have any fresh peonies, but suggested I take a look around. Nothing screamed, ‘take me home’, so I went to a cashier for the return.

That was a first. Returning dead flowers.

That’s another level of a beautiful life. Knowing what doesn’t belong and to lovingly send it back.

All the Magnificence

My daughter has left for the weekend.

We have this word we’ve been using.

Magnificent.

Let the weekend begin.

I hugged her before she left and she said, “You smell good.” I was wearing my shimmer mist, so maybe she will see some glitter from that hug later on.

glitterspray

She texted me once she arrived at her destination and said, “Have a magnificent weekend!” My response was, “I wish you all the magnificence”.

I wish the same for you my darlings.

A Doggo’s Life

Let’s be more like them…

doggos
Denver dog and Wednesday.