I Want Normal

The life my daughter and I share is not normal. We care for one another at a very high level. We watch each other, and learn how to do so. We are now down to the details.

I bought a new toothbrush holder, and noticed the openings are large enough to hold more than a toothbrush, so I put my razor in it. I recently noticed she had followed suit. Her razor now stands beside her toothbrush too.


To love one another like God loves us. Unconditionally.


Fresh flowers in the house as often as possible is normal.


She makes her famous crepes when I need some extra care.

At a young age I told her, “Everything has it’s place. When you take something from it’s place, you need to put it back when you’re done using it.” We know where things are.

When my daughter visits her Dad for the weekend, I want it to feel like home when she returns. Her room is never messy, but I go in and change her sheets, open the blinds, add fresh flowers if we have them, and light a candle.

I don’t have to ask her to do things. She knows when she’s away from home, this feels good to come home to. She has been shown to uncover the beauty.

When I am gone for the day, she goes in my room and makes the bed, opens the blinds, and lights my candle. Not because I asked, she just knows what that feels like.


She surpasses me. I didn’t take time to make cookies throughout her life, but she knows I love them. After a long day on Thursday, I walked into the house to these.


And yes, I made a coffee pour over to go with them!

Our kids are watching. What are we showing them?

My daughter is now watching me stretch and grow myself. This year, I’ve been doing the hard stuff. Cleaning house in more ways than one, but that will be another Blog.

My daughter has gifts and talents to make this world a better place. We are called to use everything God has given us, so I am walking through every door He is opening.


All of the notes I left for her when she was a child have come full circle. She left this on the fridge for me last week.


I told her, “I am happy for us, that this is normal.”

Digging the Details

My daughter has left to spend the weekend with her father. I won’t see her until Tuesday, the day of my appointment. He has a busy weekend planned for them, but before she left I said, “I don’t know what I’m doing this weekend.” She responded with, “The possibilities are endless.”

I’m sitting in the middle of my bed, watching it rain.

The dogs are laying on the floor beside me, just to be near.

It made my heart happy that she said, “The possibilities are endless.” That whatever I chose to do over the weekend would improve our lives in some way. I’ve begun this new thing while she is away by looking at the details of our life, and making adjustments. Just tweaking what we already have.

This began in a big way by moving furniture. Using the most of our small space, and helping things flow. Those things are noticeable, but now it’s down to the finest detail.

This has been going on for months, so now when she walks in the front door, there is a  pause to look around. There may be a picture that has been moved, or curtains swapped from another room. The last time she was away, I bought a new shower curtain liner. You would think, no one would notice a new piece of plastic while showering, but she did.

Yesterday, I gave our bathroom some attention. While cleaning the toilet, I looked at the bowl brush, and decided it had seen better days, so in the trash it went. Yes, life should be beautiful all the way down to the tiolet bowl brush! We now have a new bowl brush. Will she notice?


Knowing and Believing

“You have the power to guide your life in the direction you want.” You have heard this before, but do you believe it?

Knowing and believing are different things, but they work together. They can work for, or against each other.

Do you know what you believe? This is not what you think. That is another topic. What you know to be true because you have seen it with your own eyes. Not what you’ve heard.


All I wanted was a beautiful life. That was all.

I didn’t make this life happen. I didn’t run out and get two jobs to provide for my daughter and me. My daughter needed me home, and I wanted to enjoy this life with her, so I kept a part time job working from home. We have not had a need that hasn’t been met, otherwise we didn’t need it.

What you know is what you’ve believed up to this moment.

To Be True

Life is beautiful, and we are taking time to cultivate it.

I saw the gradual movement of change. My daughter painted her room, and I fell in love with the feel. Walking into my own room, it didn’t give me that feel. Looking at paint colors, then testing samples, and voila! My room has that feel with completely different colors. How is that possible? We know what feels good, and both rooms do, but on different levels.


I chose the true red over faded red, to remind myself to be true. The happiness sign hung over my bed, but I moved it to the opposite wall. When I wake up, I lay there for a moment, and ponder it’s meaning for the day. Each day holds different levels of happiness. To get good with that and just be.

I don’t have to jump out of bed anymore, and embrace the day. It’s best for me to travel through the day, and acknowledge uncertainty. People are walking in and out of my life, and I am letting them. Melody Beattie was referring to being in the middle of God’s will. We love God’s will, “but not usually while it’s working itself out.” This is true.

The place we pray to be in is uncomfortable to sit in.

Shades of PINK commented on one of my Facebook posts today with, “Perfect place to ‘BE.'” It was picture perfect. To just ‘be’ is not always how we picture it, or perfect.


My daughter sent me that Meme. My feelings change from day to day, but God doesn’t change, and I know that to be true.


Taking A Break

I added something delightful to my mornings. After my quiet time, I curl up with my laptop, coffee in hand, and pull up my WordPress Reader. I love reading other writer’s work, and this has connected me with some Beautiful Souls. This community is a place of beauty.

I mowed my yard yesterday. That may not sound like much, or it may sound awful, but for me it was exhilarating. When it’s not 100 degrees outside, I enjoy walking behind a push mower. The last time I tried to mow was during Chemo. It didn’t end well because I almost passed out. It was one of the things I had to let go of, and let someone else step in and help.

Letting someone step in and help is a beautiful thing. I am taking a break from Social Media, but I have someone who will fill in during my absence. You will meet her soon, because she writes too. We give little pieces of ourselves throughout the day, especially doing what we love. I am reacquainting myself with the pieces of my life. To loosen my grip and see what stays.

I took a break from writing this to do a couple of things. I wanted to get to the post office before noon, to pay for my box rental. I thought they took their lunch at noon, but I soon found out, it’s 11:30. My order from Bath and Body Works had arrived, and that was sweet.

Lotion and lip gloss are my have to haves. All the lotions smell good, but I bought this one just for the name. On those day where I need a gentle reminder, I can look at this bottle.


There was a lady standing in the Post Office going through a stack of junk mail, and we said, ‘Hello’. As I was walking out the door, she followed and said, “I want to invite you to something.”I stopped and looked at her inquisitively. Come to find out she is a martial arts instructor, and hosts self-defense classes for women, here in our little town. I am so excited!

My daughter has been wanting to take self-defense. I have been wanting some exercise other than mowing. This would be perfect! We exchanged information, and I am looking forward to the class this week. If I wouldn’t have taken a break when I did, I would have missed meeting her. God had our paths cross at His perfect timing. All I had to do was take a break.

I came home and put a chicken in the Crock Pot for dinner. Another thing of beauty.


We will throw what’s leftover back into the Crock Pot, add water, and let it cook all night. In the morning I will have chicken stock. https://www.100daysofrealfood.com/recipe-the-best-whole-chicken-in-a-crock-pot

Taking a break can be as simple as sitting down on Numi’s level to receive dog kisses. That is one thing I won’t take a break from. To love and be loved.


Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com









When Things Happen

It’s interesting when things happen. I don’t know why, and I never know when, but they always do. I have learned to not make things happen. To not force that square peg into a round hole anymore. When things happen, I pause and know it’s going to be for my good.

Walking into Radiation this morning, I was feeling a lot of emotions. This is my last week, and I only have two more treatments. I didn’t choose this Cancer path, but it’s been an incredible journey. The people who have come into my life because of it will be forever in my heart. My technicians said they are happy for me, but will miss me. I feel the same.

It was a beautiful drive home. The sky was mesmerizing, and I was gazing at it thinking, “Only God could make a sky like that.” I made a mental note to stop at the post office to pick up a package that was delivered yesterday. It is a red, silicone honey dipper with a stainless steel handle. My daughter had bought a beautiful jar of honey a couple of weeks ago, not knowing this would be needed. One thing leads to another.

Pulling into the post office parking lot, I see my daughter’s car, and her getting out of it. We started laughing at the irony of both of us having the same idea. I backed out of the parking lot, and headed home. She pulled in a short amount of time afterwards, and I waited as she unloaded her car. First came Numi, who came galloping across the yard when she saw me. Then I watched my daughters arms and hands fill up holding mail and, and to my delight, our favorite coffee. She had gone to Lockhart before the post office.

She had already told me she was making brunch. Around here, we don’t do three meals a day. We do brunch, and graze on healthy snacks until dinner. Here is a pic of our brunch.


We sit down and eat every meal together. It should look like a special occasion in my opinion, and each meal does. There has not been a paper napkin in our home in years.

My radiologists asked me this morning, “What are your plans for today?” I responded, “No plans. I’m just going to let things happen.” That within itself is a very good plan.

mescarf (135x240)

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of 2016 that she had Breast Cancer. She has completed Chemo, and is going through Radiation. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

To Embrace Change

When I was a child, I would watch my Mother dust the bottom of our furniture. The legs of every chair, and up underneath the piece. It was very odd, and I swore I would never do that!

My daughter saved a baby lizard the other night from his doom. It was stuck up under a chair, so she released him, and took him outside. It was a mystery to me how he was stuck, and then she told me he was in a cobweb. That is when I remembered what Mother was doing. Dusting the cobwebs. Have you noticed they come around right before Halloween?

Just like the cobwebs are a sign of the changing season, I made a lot of changes to my environment over the past few days. My little dog wasn’t sure about them though. The first thing I noticed was his behavior around the furniture being moved in the den. His main concern was his rug was now moved. What’s funny is, I moved the rug with him in mind.

We have hard wood floors, which is another reason for the cobwebs. No carpet to hide in. My little dog Mochee doesn’t like laying on the hard wood, so he has always laid on the rug in front of the front door. This puts him far away from where my daughter and I usually are.

In our favorite chairs! When I rearranged the furniture, I put that rug in front of our chairs. Now, when we are in our chairs, he can lay in front of us. He was distraught when he saw that the rug was moved. He paced back and forth looking at the new design, but he just wasn’t sure. I watched him do this for quite a while. It doesn’t take much to entertain me.


Then he got it. The room had changed, but the change had his best interests at heart. When we make a change, it will most likely effect someone else in our life. I enjoy change, and my daughter has grown to enjoy it too. They can see it makes life better, but it’s up to them to embrace it or not. Mochee laid down on the rug, but watched the front door from afar.

Once I rearranged the living area, I kept on moving stuff. I rearranged artwork, moved accessories to a new spot, and found better uses for things I had that were not being used well.  I was sorta concerned about my daughter getting home while I was out running errands. She might have walked in and thought she was at the wrong house. That’s change.

Embrace it. Don’t let your life get stale. Keep things moving, and in good working order. Use everything God has given you to the best of your ability, and above all, enjoy the beauty.





Use Your Gifts

I love the little things God prompts me to write about. I don’t particularly enjoy telling on myself, but that is part of writing. To share what we see, and where we’ve been in hopes of encouraging others. I write about having a beautiful life, but God just whacked me with this.


It was almost a month ago, my daughter gave me these gorgeous house shoes. They are so pretty, the brand name is, “Pretty You.” I was so excited to receive them, that I slid them on and walked across the room. They didn’t feel snug like my other house shoes. The bottoms were slippery, and they felt light and fluffy. I thanked her profusely, and sat them in my room.

I sat them on my vanity, where I could see them. Anytime I looked that way, I could enjoy how pretty they are. Like so many other things in my life, they were nice to look at. The only difference was they actually have a function. So, I moved them from the bedroom to the den.

We walk through, or sit in the den a good bit during the day. I even gave them their own chair to sit in, so they’d be off the floor. I was being pretty careful with them, as I tried to decide when to wear them. Do you ever know what you want to do, but it takes time to do it?

Well, today was that day. I slid my feet in and left them on.


My daughter saw them sitting in the chair in the den and was concerned. We have this saying that, if you’re not using it, or it’s not bringing you joy, then give it away. It will bring someone else joy. She asked if she needed to return them, or give them away. I was obviously breaking our golden rule. They were so pretty to look at, but why couldn’t I use them?

They brought me joy just by looking at them across the room. I think we are a lot like that with the gifts God has given us. We’re perfectly happy just having the gift, or desire, but we’re leery of stepping out in faith and using it. I know I am guilty of keeping mine in the room, but not using them to the fullest extent. Stained glass is one that God is nudging me toward.

I fell in love with stained glass 20 years ago. A friend of mine had started making it, and what started out as a hobby, grew into a full blown workshop/studio. That was the day God planted the seed. I have not forgotten how it made me feel to see the light shining through the glass. It was so beautiful, and a spectacular way to bring beauty to other peoples lives.

A couple of years ago, I took a class on how to make it. My most favorite job ever was working in a custom frame shop, and cutting the glass made me feel alive! The sound of the glass cutter scoring the glass, and then breaking the excess glass away. There’s a vulnerability working with glass, knowing it could hurt you if you don’t respect it’s power.

Fast forward to today, and I have everything I need to make stained glass. It’s in a cabinet, and has been laid out many times and worked with, but back in the cabinet it goes. I have people around me that support my dream, but what is keeping me from using it? Because it’s new, somewhat uncomfortable, and I’m happy with knowing it’s in the cabinet.


After I took a picture of my feet in the slippers, I flipped them over to look at the sole. This is where God just drilled it on home for me. Above the PY, for Pretty You, it says, “Love What You Do!” That is my mantra, “Do what you love and love what you do!” If that wasn’t enough, on the heel is a crown, and a heart. Two other things I preach about quite often.

I’m still wearing the slippers, and not sure when I’m going to take them off. They are starting to feel good now like they were made for me. What is God showing you today? Are your dreams in a cabinet? Are you gazing at the beauty in your life from across the room? We only get this one life, so if the shoe fits, wear it. Now I take the beauty with me wherever I go.


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Barbara is a God follower, a Writer, and Mom to her 17-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Part of her mission is to show people they can start over at 50. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com




A Better Life~Day One

I was talking to a friend a while back about Letting Go. She still harbors some anger toward her ex-husband, so I offered assistance. She said, “I’m not sure I wanna let go! Sometimes I use it as fuel to get stuff done.” At first I laughed, but afterwards, I could totally relate.

The suggestion below is from the book, “A Better Way To Live“, by Og Mandino. This series is entitled, “A Better Life”, because to have ‘a better life’, you need, ‘a better way to live.’ There are 17 suggestions in this book. Hopefully, they will encourage, and cause ponder to the path we’re on. I will be writing about each one, which gives us roughly one a week until the end of the year.

Suggestion #1.

Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward toward the life God intended for you…with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.

Do you know you are valuable?


This is one of my favorite Memes. I love how it has a child displayed, instead of a grown person. We are supposed to have child-like faith, and know that we are valuable. We are the child of the one true King! He already says we are more valuable than the birds, (Matt. 6:26), and they are well taken care of everyday. Have you ever seen a stressed out bird? I haven’t.

My daughter reads my Blog usually before I publish it. She’s my Editor. She read the one I wrote earlier this week about, How to Have a Beautiful Life, and claimed it as one her favorites. When we devalue ourselves it should be disturbing. Otherwise we are settling for less than God’s very best for us. Your spirit should give you some signs to what this feels like.

For me, I feel a sadness in my heart. Like something is taking up space, but not fulfilling me anymore. At one time this was a welcome addition to my beautiful life, but now it adds no beauty or life. I remember what it feels like to get disturbed, and make a decision not to take it anymore. If you feel devalued, I give you permission right now to let it disturb you.

Once you make a decision to let it go, you will feel lighter. Everything that Og says in the suggestion above will occur. Some people are afraid to let go of what they have because it’s better than having nothing. In my experience, God always has better in store. By letting go of what we have that doesn’t bring us joy, we’re trusting God that He has more.




mescarf (135x240)Barbara is a God follower, a Writer, and Mom to her 17-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Part of her mission is to show people they can start over at 50. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com


How To Have A Beautiful Life

I woke up this morning pondering how different my life is today, compared to a few years ago. Why is it so beautiful now? Why was it so miserable before? Here is what came to mind.

I believe we all have a beautiful life, filled with God’s goodness. Now, whether or not we can see it, is the question. I couldn’t see mine. The marriage I was in for 25 years, had taken a sharp turn after 15 years. I was sober. By taking the drink away, I was able to unbecome. Staying for 10 more years was a struggle between where I was, and where I knew I could be.


Many of you have asked about the book I am writing. This is what it will be about. How to have a beautiful life. It took me until I was 50 to figure this out, so hopefully, some of you younger readers can get a clue quick. You already have a beautiful life. It’s just covered up.

Change your thinking and change your life. I thought I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. Staying in a marriage for the sake of the children. Well…hello…When your kids know you are miserable, and watch you live in sadness, does that give them a spectacular life? No.

I’ve listened to a lot of motivational CD’s over my lifetime. One day, some things I had heard over the years came to the forefront of my mind. Tony Robbins was one of them.

Tony said, “Get disturbed. You’re not going to stand it any longer”

“What disturbs you in your life?”

“What are you going to do about it today?”

I wasn’t disturbed anymore, even though my life was very disturbing! We become complacent, like it’s okay to live with the hand we are dealt. Well, I’m here to tell you, it’s not okay. I pondered if this was the very best God had planned for me. Where was God?

Oh, He was there, watching and waiting. This was not the life He had planned. This was the life I had created. Then Joyce Meyer’s words came to mind, right after Tony’s. I had heard on one of her CD’s, “Make a decision, so God can get in line and help you.” That was all I needed to hear. I needed to let my disturbing life actually disturb me, and make a decision.



A Beautiful Soul sent me this Meme this morning. Thank you Danielle. It reminded me of the book, and being willing to admit what I went through to uncover the beauty in my life. It wasn’t pretty, but digging through the mess allows space for the beauty to breakthrough.

Get disturbed, and make a decision.

I had stopped getting angry. My husband was so angry about everything, you could feel it a mile away. So, I stayed calm because anger fuels more anger. He was miserable too, but didn’t know how to fix it. I did us both a favor the day I left even though he didn’t see it at first. Sometimes things do have to fall apart completely, so they can fall back together.

I believe we both have a beautiful life today, even though we’re apart. When Tony asked, “What disturbs you in your life?”, it was my whole life. I had to blow it up, and start all over again. It felt like I had lost everything that made life worth living, but I was still standing there, so, what was it time to do? Get disturbed, make a decision, and light the fuses.


mescarf (135x240)Barbara is a God follower, a Writer, and Mom to her 17-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Part of her mission is to show people they can start over at 50. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com