The In Between

Since publishing All or Nothing, I’ve been practicing holding the pose in that ‘in between’ area of life. Walking the ‘fine line’, between all or nothing.

Monday, I was driving to get a haircut and the CD player switched CD’s to a teaching I hadn’t heard in years. I didn’t remember having preacher/teacher CD’s loaded in the player, so I listened while I drove. He was talking about the ‘eventually’s’, and how the dreams in our heart come to pass eventually. It’s always God’s timing and not ours, so therein lies the in between.

I was asked to partake in a new position with one of my jobs, and went through some of the training videos to prepare for it. Then, December rolled around which is the busiest time of year for most, and the training stopped. The new position is just hanging in mid air waiting for the man I work with to pop it back into my court. If the position is meant for me, it’ll come back around, but sometimes God will test our willingness to walk in a different direction.

Show me a direction and I’ll show you a decision has been made.

It’s still warm here in Texas, but I’m keeping an eye on the Hibiscus. It’s sitting outside blooming in December, but will come indoors if the temps drops below 50 degrees Fahrenheit and remain there. This plant has taught me a lot this year and I want to protect it to learn more from it next year. You’d think full bloom would be my favorite part of this plant, but recently it’s been the in between. The bud begins to open then decides to enjoy the space of halfway there.

As you can see my darling, there is beauty in the in between.

All or Nothing

That’s the type person I’ve always been. Sitting here covering a blank page with thoughts, this page began as a title sitting in drafts waiting for some love.

When I was taking care of the yard this summer, I’d water all of the flowers whether they needed it or not. My daughter would look at a new plant and exclaim, “Thrive or die!” 😂 While some needed water directly, others would catch the overflow from the rain head and receive a little anyway, but with me holding the hose, there wasn’t a time where a flower received absolutely nothing.

I’ve been thinking about taking some time off from work and received the greenlight from my Team to do so next week. Friends are already asking, “What are you going to do with your week off, or what do you have planned?” My response has been, “Absolutely nothing”. I have some things in mind, but it’s mainly little things I’ve pushed aside while working.

I want to sit on my bench in front of the fire pit with a steaming cup of coffee and tend a fire. I want to drop notes in the mail to friends and have ordered some cards with each person in mind. I might give the bathroom a thorough cleaning because it’s been wiped down each week, but it needs some love. The only thing on my calendar for next week is a date with a man who I’ve put off meeting over work.

I want to find that fine line between all or nothing and sit there for a while. To quiet the mind and let my heart lead the way because the past few month’s personal lovefest has resembled nothing. That’s the thing about love my darlings. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.