I added something delightful to my mornings. After my quiet time, I curl up with my laptop, coffee in hand, and pull up my WordPress Reader. I love reading other writer’s work, and this has connected me with some Beautiful Souls. This community is a place of beauty.
I mowed my yard yesterday. That may not sound like much, or it may sound awful, but for me it was exhilarating. When it’s not 100 degrees outside, I enjoy walking behind a push mower. The last time I tried to mow was during Chemo. It didn’t end well because I almost passed out. It was one of the things I had to let go of, and let someone else step in and help.
Letting someone step in and help is a beautiful thing. I am taking a break from Social Media, but I have someone who will fill in during my absence. You will meet her soon, because she writes too. We give little pieces of ourselves throughout the day, especially doing what we love. I am reacquainting myself with the pieces of my life. To loosen my grip and see what stays.
I took a break from writing this to do a couple of things. I wanted to get to the post office before noon, to pay for my box rental. I thought they took their lunch at noon, but I soon found out, it’s 11:30. My order from Bath and Body Works had arrived, and that was sweet.
Lotion and lip gloss are my have to haves. All the lotions smell good, but I bought this one just for the name. On those day where I need a gentle reminder, I can look at this bottle.
There was a lady standing in the Post Office going through a stack of junk mail, and we said, ‘Hello’. As I was walking out the door, she followed and said, “I want to invite you to something.”I stopped and looked at her inquisitively. Come to find out she is a martial arts instructor, and hosts self-defense classes for women, here in our little town. I am so excited!
My daughter has been wanting to take self-defense. I have been wanting some exercise other than mowing. This would be perfect! We exchanged information, and I am looking forward to the class this week. If I wouldn’t have taken a break when I did, I would have missed meeting her. God had our paths cross at His perfect timing. All I had to do was take a break.
I came home and put a chicken in the Crock Pot for dinner. Another thing of beauty.
We will throw what’s leftover back into the Crock Pot, add water, and let it cook all night. In the morning I will have chicken stock. https://www.100daysofrealfood.com/recipe-the-best-whole-chicken-in-a-crock-pot
Taking a break can be as simple as sitting down on Numi’s level to receive dog kisses. That is one thing I won’t take a break from. To love and be loved.
Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com
“A writer needs to write”, they say. This is true. I think of something to write about almost everyday, but it rarely ends up here. As a writer, I get focused on sounding eloquent, or making sure there is true meaning to my words. They also say, “Write. Even if it doesn’t make any sense.” You may be seeing some of that soon. My life doesn’t make a lot of sense.
I have a sister who is ten years older than me. Ten years ago, she went through the same kind of Breast Cancer I have. It even occurred the same time of year. The doctors know more now, so my journey is easier than hers. She started sharing a list of things not to do during Chemo. I just laughed and said, “Oh, I’ve already done all of that. Thanks though!”
The sun is not your friend. I used to love to soak up the sunshine, and just feel it penetrate my skin. I did that after one of my Chemo Treatments, and paid the price for two days after.
Do not Google your symptoms, or any side effects. I love Google, and use it all the time, but for Chemo? Google is not your friend. They list every side effect imaginable, and there are some horror stories out there. I was terrified of the thought of Chemo, and then I read a comment, “Cancer doesn’t kill. Chemo does.” I was done with Google, and would call my doctor if needed.
I believe God has given me a relatively easy path through this, so I can share with others.
There will be things you need to modify. It’s all about your body, and what it’s going through. It’s time to listen to, and be kind to your body. Pretty much every little thing you did before Chemo, you will be grateful for afterwards. I have a lot of gratitude for what it has shown me, and you can read more about that here. You will get through this, and be better for it.
It’s ‘body over mind’ time Beautiful Souls.
I drug my 50 lb. fully loaded trashcan down the driveway, and to the street just like before. Once was enough. I thought my heart would explode.
I sat out in the sun for 20 minutes with my daughter. It completely drained me for two days.
When your body says, “Stop”, just stop and stretch out across your bed. It needs to rest.
The main thing is to pour more goodness into the body, than poison. Chemo stays in your system for 48 hours, and then leaves, so be careful the day of, and two days after. Eat small meals of goodness. Fruit, veggies, good cheeses, with crackers. Do you buy those Goldfish crackers for your kids? Eat them all. Parmesan Goldfish taste delightful right after Chemo.
I drink a ton of liquid nutrition. It has been my very best friend, and you can find that here.
If you, or someone you know is going down this Chemo path, please feel free to share. The path may not look beautiful at first, but this has been the literal ride of my life. #grateful
Barbara is a Writer, Certified Letting Go Coach, and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of this year that she has Breast Cancer. Going through Chemo, and believing God for a miracle is where she stands. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com
Sitting at my desk early this morning, I didn’t think twice about running my hand through my hair. A little disconcerting to look at my hand afterwards, and see it full of hair.
I’ve been reading other Blogs about this type experience. They have been comforting to read. It shows me that I’m not alone with this. I have found a beautiful Blog entitled Beauty Beyond Bones. This lady had absolutely amazing hair! It was sorta her trademark for years. Long and thick with natural ringlets. Beautiful. She lost it all through an eating disorder.
That is what her Blog is about. Her journey through Anorexia. My hair is nothing special. I used to wear it short, but have let it grow the past few months. It’s time to go back to short.
God is more concerned with our inside than out. Hair does have a purpose; like I’m not excited about losing my eyelashes, or brows. I keep a tidy home, but I don’t dust much anymore. Eyelashes keep the dust out of your eyes. I am grateful I have pretty things to dust. Might wanna start now, while I still have lashes!
Probably the most unsettling thing for me about losing my hair was this. The shower.
While rinsing my hair, ever so gently, it got matted on my hands and fingers. That sucked. Then, I stepped out of the shower, and caught a glimpse of something on my shoulder. A pile of hair. God has got me through every step of this journey, and He will get me through this. I’ve rocked short hair before. Let’s step in front of it, and go a little shorter.
I called a hairdresser friend of mine, and told her what is happening. She is going to cut it short for me. I don’t want to wake up in the morning with a white bed, covered in dark hair. My nurse at Chemo today told me, “Yea, It will just keep getting thinner and thinner.” No darlin’. I’m going all G.I. Jane. Let’s kicks some breast cancer butt!
Much love to you Beautiful Souls.
Barbara is a Writer, Certified Letting Go Coach, and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and has a pretty healthy obsession for chocolate. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was what stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com
Lastnight was the first night since the port placement that I didn’t sleep sitting up. I was tired of that position, so I curled up in a ball on my left side, and woke up with no pain.
I was scared to lay that way. The left side is where the tumor, and port live for now. It felt so good to lay the way I would normally sleep. God had His arms around me through the night.
This entire journey, has been ‘doing it afraid.’ I was terrified what the mammogram would show. Then came the biopsy, where I laid on the table and wept. It hurt like hell. It wasn’t the procedure itself, I believe it was the doctor. If you have the right people in your path, this should not be painful. They are there to ease your pain darling, and care for you.
So today was the day beauties. The day the bandage was to come off from the port placement. I was so scared to pull it off. Having no clue what it was going to look like underneath. Let me just say, I’ve always been a wuss when it comes to bandages and needles. Welp…That is fading fast. Every part of the journey makes us stronger and better.
The fear of the unknown is what it was. Not knowing for sure what it was going to look like once the bandage was off. It was nothing like I had imagined. It was merely stitches, in skin, and a slight lump where the port is resting. As I stood before the mirror, pulling at the adhesive, repeating, “God help me,” it was nothing to fear at all. He had it all planned.
Tomorrow I start Chemo, but at this point, there is less fear. God has traveled this road before me, and He will be there tomorrow as well. Thank you for your love and prayers Beautiful Souls. Much love to you.
What started as a damp, cloudy and misty rain type morning, is trying to become a sunny afternoon. The sun is trying so persistently to break through the thickness of the clouds.
Do you have days like that? Where you wake up kinda foggy, but as the day moves on, you find your groove. I love the feeling of just slipping into the day, verses letting the day engulf me. Things are happening in my life that I have to be careful not to get sucked in.
Spotting this in my backyard, it spoke to me in several ways. I posted it on Letitgocoach Facebook page, and it received beautiful comments. I could relate to each comment, because I too had seen what they had seen.
I started out admiring the smaller rock, stuck down in the crack. It fits perfectly, and is protected from anything that runs by. It would seem, it has been there a while, because the grass is gently surrounding it giving it more shelter.
I have taken shelter from the storms of life many times. It kinda feels like going into a hole, and staying there until it passes. What if we get so cozy, we don’t want to come out? That is where the larger rock comes into play.
The larger rock could be a faithful friend, or God himself. The friend could be stopping by to encourage you. To check and see when you are coming out. What I find interesting is, the larger rock knew about this place, but look how large it is. If it once used this space, it made the choice to leave and grow. The smaller rock is now stuck, it cannot grow, and is missing out on life.
God understands we need shelter, and encourages us to lean on Him. I have felt before like I was hiding underneath God, and clinging to the hem of His garment, just trying to get through. He would calm my storm when I absolutely couldn’t take anymore, but then He got to the point of letting it rage, and calming me instead. I can be filled with peace in the storm.
Are you stuck? Have you grown comfortable? Grab onto your rock, and pull yourself out. God will send a friend, or even Himself because your life is to be lived. It’s okay to take shelter every now and again, but don’t stay there long. Life happens fast, and it only happens once. Be brave Beautiful Souls. You can live this life and it’s designed to be beautiful, just like you.
Barbara is a writer, Entrepreneur and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and has a pretty healthy obsession for chocolate. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was what stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com