In the Moment

Sitting here this morning, I’m rethinking the timing of my last post. I thought it would be more efficient to write the post before bed and schedule it to post after midnight. Writing is not about efficiency for me.

Posting everyday this month is challenging, but what I think is my biggest challenge. I gave myself this challenge as a little push before the New Year. Here’s something I know. If I don’t enjoy it or feel I’m not giving it my best, I won’t continue.

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This is today and I’m in the moment.

That is when I enjoy writing the most.

Forgive me for reverting my earlier post to a draft. There’s more to be said about the day of the tattoo. I have yet to write about our matching tattoo’s and that happened in October.

That is the main thing I’ve learned this month. I’m an ‘in the moment’ writer and cannot schedule my postings. I was hoping to find a flow where I post the same time each day, but that hasn’t happened. Moments are not scheduled and that’s what I love to share. I’m sticking to once a day to keep us both, in the moment.

Light the Fuses

I woke up this morning pondering how different my life is today, compared to a few years ago.

I believe we all have a beautiful life, filled with God’s goodness. Now, whether or not we can see it, is the question. I couldn’t see mine. The marriage I was in for 25 years, had taken a sharp turn after 15 years. I was sober. By taking the drink away, I was the real me.

Staying for 10 more years was a struggle between where I was, and where I knew I could be.

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Change your thinking and change your life.

I’ve listened to a lot of motivational CD’s over my lifetime. One day, some things I had heard over the years came to the forefront of my mind. Tony Robbins was one of them.

Tony said, “Get disturbed. You’re not going to stand it any longer. What disturbs you in your life? What are you going to do about it today?”

I wasn’t disturbed anymore, even though my life was very disturbing! We become complacent, like it’s okay to live with the hand we are dealt. Well, I’m here to tell you, it’s not okay. I pondered if this was the very best God had planned for me. Where was God?

He was there, watching and waiting.

This was not the life He had planned. This was the life I had created. Then Joyce Meyer’s words came to mind, right after Tony’s. I had heard on one of her CD’s, “Make a decision, so God can get in line and help you.” That was all I needed to hear. I needed to let my disturbing life actually disturb me, and make a decision.

Get disturbed, and make a decision.

I had stopped getting angry. My husband was so angry about everything, you could feel it a mile away. So, I stayed calm because anger fuels more anger. He was miserable too, but didn’t know how to fix it.

I did us both a favor the day I left even though he didn’t see it at first. Sometimes things fall apart completely, so they can fall back together.

I believe we both have a beautiful life today, even though we’re apart. When Tony asked, “What disturbs you in your life?”, it was my whole life. I had to blow it up, and start all over again. It felt like I had lost everything that made life worth living, but I was still standing there, so, what was it time to do?

Get disturbed, make a decision, and light the fuses.