Be the Mama

I try not to rush anymore, but recently I found myself getting sucked into life’s frenzy.

This morning it was time to stop.

back view beach clouds dawn
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I’ve been watching my daughter.

At 19 years old she has wisdom and discernment, and makes sound decisions. I’ve stepped back to let her practice running her own life. Watching how she manages it, and giving her plenty of space. She’s been adulting very well except for this one thing….

She’s exhausted.

Mentally and physically.

Time For a Change

I took a long look at how busy she has been. We both have, but I could also feel a disconnect. We are more than roommates. We actually do this life together, but when she came home Monday from her Dad’s, she sat down and fell asleep in her chair.

Her visits with her Dad haven’t changed since the move, even though the distance has.  He’s only ten minutes away now instead of an hour, but she still packs her duffel bag every Friday, and heads to his home. Stays the weekend and comes back here on Monday. She has three days before doing it all again.

I’m Still the Mama

She communicates with her Dad, and they make their own plans, until this morning. While she slept, I texted him and told him she is staying home this weekend. It was time to step in and be the Mama.

When she awoke, I told her what I did, and she looked mortified that I had stepped in, but you know what else I saw? Relief. And a slight smile.

This weekend she doesn’t have to be an adult. We will spend time together doing whatever we choose.

Today was a good day to step in and be the Mama.

Give It Time

Time reveals all. We have talked about time, patience and waiting patiently, but I am learning, time does reveal all. The big challenge for me is, don’t jump in and start doing. Just be present.

Something interesting happened because of the ‘Box of Love’, this week. This guy taking up space in my daughters heart and mind, sent a couple of his favorite t-shirts in the box. She wore one yesterday, and that evening, she came over to sit beside me in the swing. She said, “You know what sucks about wearing this shirt? It smells like him and makes me really miss him.”

gratefulMy heart hurt for her because I know that pain. I don’t enjoy missing people. It’s normal, but when it causes more pain than goodness in my life, it’s time to re-access.

Today, I am seeing that every person has a reason and a season in my life. I’m not afraid of being hurt because I know it will make me better. Letting Go is a must to keep growing.

Pain can be healthy if we allow it to do it’s job and then let it go. Don’t take is so personally.

Are you familiar with The Four Agreements? I have been pondering them this week, and they have reaffirmed a few of my beliefs. They are #1. Be impeccable with your word. #2. Don’t take anything personally. #3. Don’t make assumptions. #4. Always do your best.

Don’t take anything personally and don’t make assumptions. Those alone are life changers.

Melody Beattie says, “We will be guided into understanding what we need to do to take care of ourselves. We will begin to trust our instincts, our feelings, our thoughts. We will know when to go, to stop, to wait. We will learn a great truth; the plan will happen in spite of us, not because of us.” Thank you God in advance for Your plan and not mine. Be present and give it time.