Flaws and All

I’ve been pondering the idea of posting a Blog everyday the month of December. I know Bloggers who post everyday and they have it all planned.

I don’t plan my posts. They form from a piece of inspiration I spotted within my day and grow from there. I ponder that little nugget until it has words swirling around it and then find a quiet moment to let them fall to the page.

December is a busy month. A lot of writers take the month off completely. There’s something I’ve learned from taking a break from something I love. When I leave, it ends.

There’s a struggle in the re-starting.

There’s no growth in the not doing.

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I asked a friend what she thought about me Blogging everyday this month and she reminded me how busy people are in December. That’s a valid point, but I don’t write for the the masses. This Blog has evolved into a haven of sorts. Readers know it’s going to be peaceful and calm.

Writing isn’t a task for me, or on my to-do list for the day.  It’s a gift and an honor to be used by God in this way. Flaws and all.

A Divine Responsibility

I had planned on writing about Self-care Sunday. It was pondered continually and a couple of people asked, “What does that look like Barb?”

It’s ironic because I gave a different answer each time. It was like I couldn’t pinpoint just one thing and give a duplicate response. It was difficult to convey, but here I sit feeling very well cared for.

The weekend flowed from one thing to the other. It’s not that I have a feeling of accomplishment or really did anything noteworthy, but maybe it’s in the things I didn’t do.

I didn’t worry about anything.

I didn’t look at my work for tomorrow.

I didn’t strategize the week ahead.

I didn’t go to any of my favorite shops and become inundated with Christmas when we haven’t even had Thanksgiving yet. The world outside my home felt rushed. Sirens blared down the highway above my street every few minutes.

I lit the candle from Savor the Moments.

Every time I walked into my bedroom a deep breath was greeted by the scent from that candle. My workload was light this weekend, but I gave it my best. It would seem the ultimate self-care is a divine responsibility.

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Low Level Pain

I keep a piece of paper and pen on my desk to jot down ideas. I believe they are messages from the heart. They are fleeting and only heard once, so I have learned to write it down when I hear it. The meaning is always revealed later.

I just sat down to straighten my desk, and saw these three words, low level pain. With it being three words, it must be the title to a Blog, because most all of my Blogs have only three words in the title. God challenged me to do that a while ago and it has been an interesting challenge for this wordy woman. Now it has become the norm. When I hear three words, I know it’s a Blog title, but the Blog can take days to form.

Today is the day for this one because I’m typing.

Are you walking around with a low level pain?

You may not even realize you are in this type pain.

The best time to notice is when you wake up first thing in the morning. I always sit up and move to the edge of the bed and just sit a moment. Tune in to what my body is telling me. When I feel a low level pain, it’s typically behind my eyes, like a dull headache or mild pressure. I describe it to friends as God having His thumb on my forehead, trying to remind me of what He asked me to do and I didn’t obey.

You-Were-Given-This-Life-Because-You-Are-Strong-Enough-To-Live-It

That pain will not go away until I submit and do it.

One instance is if I am holding onto a relationship that God shut the door on. When God is done with something, I have to be done too, or I will not be happy. If I’m still holding on, God will not move until I let it go for good.

The low level pain feels a lot like procrastination. You know how it feels to put something off until the next day. If we continue putting it off, it prolongs the opening of that really good door God is waiting to open.

Are you a person of reason?

Well, almost every time, it doesn’t make sense. What my heart, or spirit is telling me to do, will not make sense in that moment. It will seem a little crazy, or out of character, but I have found to just do it anyway. God wants me to move, so He can move.

My thoughts could never trump God’s, so I don’t even try. My very best thought would be a speck on this grand plan He has for my life.

Walking in obedience to Him, and following these heart promptings quickly, without question, doesn’t have to be painful. I gave up my best laid plans long ago and have learned to enjoy never knowing what the day will bring. One thing I do know is, when it’s God, it’s going to be good.