Set it free


One of the things I love about this house, is it’s light.


Light dances on my bedroom wall in the morning.

Light plays an intricate role in our well-being. I can feel the difference on a rainy day, verses a clear one. It doesn’t have to be a full blaze of sunshine type day, but I do need light.

The front door of this house had been mistreated.

It’s a metal door with windows at the top, designed to let light in. I didn’t notice on the initial walk through, but the windows looked to be sprayed painted over. I asked the landlord if he had another door we could use to replace this one, but he did not. This was one of those moments to embrace what you have, and make the very best of it.



My best guess is, when the painter sprayed the ceiling, he didn’t cover the windows of the door. They had some type of over-spray on them that blocked the light from coming in. I grabbed a straight edge razor, and began scraping.

It came off easy enough with the razor, but it made me wonder how many people would go to these lengths for light? Was it over-spray, or did someone spray paint it on purpose? It obviously didn’t bother the previous tenant.



Now clean, those small windows make a big difference.

Sometimes, the light will naturally flow in and find us.

Other times, we need to unmask the blockage, and set it free.

*If you would like to be a part of my work, you may do so here.

I Want Normal

The life my daughter and I share is not normal. We care for one another at a very high level. We watch each other, and learn how to do so. We are now down to the details.

I bought a new toothbrush holder, and noticed the openings are large enough to hold more than a toothbrush, so I put my razor in it. I recently noticed she had followed suit. Her razor now stands beside her toothbrush too.


To love one another like God loves us. Unconditionally.


Fresh flowers in the house as often as possible is normal.


She makes her famous crepes when I need some extra care.

At a young age I told her, “Everything has it’s place. When you take something from it’s place, you need to put it back when you’re done using it.” We know where things are.

When my daughter visits her Dad for the weekend, I want it to feel like home when she returns. Her room is never messy, but I go in and change her sheets, open the blinds, add fresh flowers if we have them, and light a candle.

I don’t have to ask her to do things. She knows when she’s away from home, this feels good to come home to. She has been shown to uncover the beauty.

When I am gone for the day, she goes in my room and makes the bed, opens the blinds, and lights my candle. Not because I asked, she just knows what that feels like.


She surpasses me. I didn’t take time to make cookies throughout her life, but she knows I love them. After a long day on Thursday, I walked into the house to these.


And yes, I made a coffee pour over to go with them!

Our kids are watching. What are we showing them?

My daughter is now watching me stretch and grow myself. This year, I’ve been doing the hard stuff. Cleaning house in more ways than one, but that will be another Blog.

My daughter has gifts and talents to make this world a better place. We are called to use everything God has given us, so I am walking through every door He is opening.


All of the notes I left for her when she was a child have come full circle. She left this on the fridge for me last week.


I told her, “I am happy for us, that this is normal.”

Rooted in Real

After I Bled Out, a shift happened, and I wanted real.

I’ve been a part of and seen the effects social media has on well-being. It wasn’t healthy for me, so I stepped away, and have no desire to go back. This Blog hasn’t been connected to any social media for weeks, but people are finding it, and reading it. My stats didn’t bottom out from no connection.

My soul bottomed out while it was connected.

I stopped downloading books on Kindle, and ordered real ones. The kind you can hold in your hands, and mark up a page if needed. I ordered some magazines for the first time in 20 years for the same reason. Not to mention they are pretty laying on the coffee table for everyone to enjoy.

My screen time is minimal, but present moments abound.

I don’t have to check my phone before bed, and when I awake.

I check in with God instead.

When I started this Blog, it was to have a space that held a recap of our lives for my daughter. I’ve done that, and we are on a new chapter. This new chapter will be in book form, that you can hold in your hands, and feel something real. I want every area of my life to be rooted in what’s real.


Waiting to Bloom

It’s odd, how you pack up your belongings, and move into a new space. It’s the same stuff you’ve had, but it finds new places to nest. This house doesn’t have a mudroom, so the dogs are fed in a breezeway. Three weeks later, they know which cabinet holds the food, and which drawer has treats.

In Bénisse Cette Maison, Laura Jinkins commented, “I am happy for you and your new adventure. I am especially happy that after such a short period of time, your new abode already feels like HOME.”Looking at her Blog this morning, she has made her house even more of a home.

Making small changes, prepare us for bigger ones.

Laura moved rooms around, and repainted them, giving her home a whole new look, and herself a new work-space. She will be inspired in her freshly painted, private space.

When your heart finds a home, your belongings follow.

Last year, my daughter had been looking at houses online for months, before finding this one. She knew it was going to be a challenge to find a home that would feed both our hearts. I enjoy quiet, and peaceful, and she longed to be near her friends, and all her favorite shops. We knew the area we desired, but where, oh where, was the house?

We drove out to the lake area, over an hour away from where we were living at the time, to look at a house on the market. It was an older home, and the best thing about it was the front door. We walked through, and went from room to room, trying out figure out how to make it work, but it wasn’t right. My daughter was getting discouraged.

If it doesn’t feel like home before you move, keep looking.

As we were driving away from that house, my daughter received an email notification of another house nearby. We stopped by, and what I saw outside, spoke to my heart.


Arbor with walk leading to the front door.

I stood inside this Arbor, looking at the vine, and pondered, “Would we bloom at the same time?” There is another vine growing along the fence at the end of the driveway.

The landlord assured me his landscape guy would come, and clean up the weeds clinging to everything. I said, “No. These are not weeds. They are flowers waiting to bloom.”

My daughter and I are freshly planted, and when the time is right, just like these vines, we will be ready to bloom.

Listening for quiet

Making a coffee pour over has a calming effect over me.

Once I go through all the steps of setting it up, I’m forced to slow down, and enjoy the process. Watching as the boiling hot water, slowly escapes from the spout of the pour over kettle. It hits the coarse grounds, and they begin to bloom. (My fave) Today, I poured the water very slowly, in attempt to keep the bloom alive for as long as possible.


I try to be careful, not to run the cup over. When using ceramics, there is no way to tell how close the liquid is to the top. You can see the spillage on the counter top where I picked up the funnel for a peek, but today was different.

I listened intently during the process. When the water first hit the grounds, and the liquid drained into the empty cup, it was noisy. I could hear it trickling. As the cup filled with the hot liquid, the trickling became quieter, and quieter.


I knew the cup was full when it was completely quiet.

Sow Some Seeds (Part 5)

Can you imagine if God handed us the book of our life?

We could see from start to finish what our lives would entail. What we would achieve, and when we would die? That would be awful! It would take the will to live out of life, and there would be no mystery to our path. God is big, and so are His plans Thankfully, He prepares us by giving a little each day.

Here are today’s seeds:

I will work convinced that nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. To do anything today that is truly worth doing, I must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in with gusto and scramble through as well as I can.

I will face the world with goals set for this day, but they will be attainable ones, not the vague, impossible variety declared by those who make a career of failure. I realize that you always try me a little first, to see what I would do with a lot.

I will never hide my talents. If I am silent, I am forgotten, if I do not advance, I will fall back. If I walk away from any challenge today, my self-esteem will be forever scarred, and if I cease to grow, even a little, I will become smaller. I reject the stationary position because it is always the beginning of the end.

When my daughter becomes discouraged about achieving a goal, I tell her, “If you want it badly enough, nothing can stop you.” It’s not easy, and if it was, everyone would do it. There is no failure. We learn in the midst of trying. If it looks hard, get excited! It’s the hard stuff that makes us better.

A challenge equals promotion, so give it a little wink, and walk right through it like the mighty warrior you were made to be.

Sow Some Seeds (Part 3)

What resonated with you in yesterday’s post?

My daughter’s favorite part is, “I will live as all good actors do when they are on stage-only in the moment. I cannot perform at my best today by regretting my previous act’s mistakes or worrying about the scene to come.”

My favorite is, “I will embrace today’s difficult tasks, take off my coat, and make dust in the world.” Make dust in the world. Let’s replace dust with ‘glitter’, because that is why I’m here. To sprinkle some glitter over someone’s day.

Here are today’s seeds:

I will remain aware of how little it takes to make this a happy day. Never will I pursue happiness, because it is not a goal, just a by-product, and there is no happiness in having or in getting, only in giving.

We are designed to live happy lives. If we sit in stillness, and devoid outside interference, we find happiness. It’s when we allow people, places and things to influence our surroundings that happiness becomes more difficult to see and feel. We don’t pursue happiness. It’s in our hearts.

I will run from no danger I might encounter today, because I am certain that nothing will happen to me that I am not equipped to handle with your help. Just as any gem is polished by friction, I am certain to become more valuable through this day’s adversities, and if you close one door, you always open another for me.

Trusting God. I didn’t want to go through Chemo last year. It went against everything I believed in! Every doctor confirmed it was the best route to stop the Cancer growth, and then shrink it down for removal. There is a saying out there that says, “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.” Today, I compare every obstacle to Chemo.

I didn’t know I could get through until I did.

We are called Diamonds for a reason. There is polishing through adversity. We can go it alone, in our own free will, or follow God. The choice is easy, but oh that wild ride!

Sow Some Seeds (Part 2)

What jumped out at you in yesterday’s post?

Besides being grateful each time my eyes open to a new day, there is one part that leaps off the page. “I am prepared at last to make you proud of me.” At 53, I’m as prepared as I’ll ever be! God never quits, even when I do.

Here are today’s seeds:

I will not fret the future. My success and happiness does not depend on straining to see what lurks dimly on the horizon, but to do, this day, what lies clearly at hand.

Worry is future thinking. Stay in today.

I will treasure this day, for it is all I have. I know that’s it’s rushing hours cannot be accumulated or stored, like precious grain, for future use.

I will live as all good actors do when they are on stage-only in the moment. I cannot perform at my best today by regretting my previous act’s mistakes or worrying about the scene to come.

I will embrace today’s difficult tasks, take off my coat, and make dust in the world. I will remember that the more productive I am, the less harm I am apt to suffer, the tastier will be my food, the sweeter my sleep, and the better satisfied I will be with my place in the world.

I will free myself today from slavery to the clock and calendar. Although I will plan this day in order to conserve my steps and energy, I will begin to measure my life in deeds, not years, in thoughts, not seasons.

Be productive, not just busy. Embrace what is in front of you that needs to be done. Be a finisher. There is not a lot on my calendar. It mainly holds my daughter’s schedule because I love seeing each new day for what it is. New!

Be More Clear

I ran into a friend yesterday, and she asked, “Are you okay?” She had a look of concern on her face, and I assured her that I was. She had read my Blog about the Cancer scare, and wanted to make sure I was all good. She is not the only friend that wasn’t sure, so let’s see if I can be more clear.

A lot of what we go through in life is a test of some sort.


I don’t believe there is Cancer in my breast. The technician wasn’t sure what she was seeing during the sonogram, so I had the films sent to my Oncologist who knows my history. He didn’t see anything concerning, but wants to see my next film in six months. I’m not worried, so don’t you be either!

God used that situation to reach the right people, and I now have really good health insurance! WooHoo!

In March, or April of next year, I will have another mammogram, and have faith for God’s best. Since walking out of the imaging center a month ago, I have made life changes, and am still making them. When God shows me His best, I want to give Him my best in return. The entire incident brought this to the forefront of my mind. “What do I want my life to look in six months? Am I living God’s best?”

A Good Problem

Blogging is like having a public journal.

Blogging has worked, because I kept misplacing journals whenever we moved. Writing publicly is healing, and can help others heal, so yes, it’s like letting everyone read your journal. I am behind, so let’s take some time to catch up.

I promised a friend I would write about this, so here it is E!

In August, I read a book by Melodie Beattie entitled, Make Miracles in Forty Days. You may be aware, I’m a huge Melody fan, and treasure all her books, but this one intrigued me. I believe in miracles, and believe I’m a walking miracle, so I read the book, and did what she said.

At first glance it seemed like another gratitude list exercise, but there’s a twist! You write what you’re grateful for, but you also write what you’re NOT grateful for.

On August 26th my writing began. At first it was habitual to list everything I was grateful for. Referring back to the book, I learned how to phrase things that were bothering me. Here are a few examples, along with their outcome.

You begin by writing, “I am grateful today that…”

My doctor wants to see me, even though I don’t know why. (The miracle is they were not alarmed by my mammogram and agreed to see me In Six Months)


I have a dependable job, and get to work from home, even though I would like to make more money. (I was offered a new job)

I love my home, but would like for my daughter to live closer to town, her friends, and her father. (We are moving into a new home, near the lake, January 1st) I love the lake.

You get the idea. I’m grateful for a beautiful life, and this exercise helped open my heart, and mind for changes that needed to be made. The journaling continued longer than 40 days, because I still do it today. You can also do this with a friend via email. To just stay grateful, and let God work.

I told a friend, “I don’t know how many more of God’s blessings I can take!

That is a good problem to have.