To Be Alone

It’s been an off day.

Friday I told a friend how good I am at being alone. Saturday morning I woke up feeling very alone and I wasn’t very good with it. 🙂

Friday night, I saw this meme before bed.

alone

Walking through my day and going to some of my favorite haunts didn’t do much for me. I read a Blog about online dating and looked at a couple of sites. That was a no.

Trying to find my groove, I hopped in my truck and drove down to the lake. The leaves are changing color and fishing boats were being launched. A woman and her dog were walking to the same spot as me. She smiled, offered an extra chair and we sat.

After introducing ourselves we began to chat.

Her name is Christine and her dog is Cowboy.

She could tell I had a mind full. I told her I’ve been Blogging about self care on Sunday’s and thought sitting at the lake would be inspiring. As I sat there with Christine and watched Cowboy swim around it soothed me.

She said, “What we’re doing is self care, but it’s Saturday and you don’t have to be alone.”

There Is Happiness

Writing is happiness.

I’m not sure if it brings it in, or if I have so much happiness, it’s a form of release.

sloth

Sloth’s and candles are happiness.

Being here with you is happiness.

Thank you for the love and care on my previous post. I was struggling to find my happy again. A friend asked if I was okay, and I responded with, “Yes. I did this to myself. I tried doing everything in my own strength.”

I’ve always been an overachiever and that includes giving of myself. Be mindful of where you give. It needs to be reciprocated, or you’ll find yourself empty.

There was a lot of glitter involved in bringing back my happy. I spray painted pumpkins with a clear coat of gold glitter and I’ve been working on the coffee bar. It’s a work in progress and every time my daughter comes home it looks different.

Change is an outlet for growth.

Coffee is complete happiness.

I added this to the coffee bar, so it’s one of the first things we see each morning. You don’t have to look for signs around here. I’ll buy ’em and hang ’em.

settle

Read the fine print. There is happiness.

 

Keep Watching Darling

Life is what you make it.

I believe this with every fiber of my being. I watched my Mama do her very best and she watched hers.

It looked hard.

It’s how we see it. There’s options.

Choose wisely. Victim or victor?

Last week, my daughter witnessed my breaking point. I plopped down on the edge of my bed and had a good cry. My daughter wrapped her arm around me and lifted me up with these words. She said, “Next week is a new week. Make it what you want.”

A beautiful life is not easy.

Keep watching darling.

abeautifullife

Walk Like Wind

What did you want to be as a child? It may not apply today, but it’s still in you. I always wanted to be a model.

At age 13, I went through an awkward stage of braces and glasses. Mama took me to a modeling agency and they said, “Come back when you lose the braces and glasses.” It sounded mean, but they were just being honest.

I grew out of the braces and glasses and went back to that modeling agency at age 17. They wanted me to do runway because of my height. I was 5′ 9″, but it was embarrassing to walk down a runway in front of a group of strangers. I didn’t like being stared at and people still stare.

I left the modeling world at 22.

In high school, I was constantly ridiculed about my height. I watched a movie recently about a ‘tall girl’ and could feel every mean thing said to her. “How’s the weather up there!” I heard those same things 40 years ago, but today it’s a movie.

Yesterday, I was walking through a store and this little boy said, “Wow! She’s tall!” I probably looked like a giant to him, but I was made this way.

My daughter and I still laugh about this one thing a lady said a couple of years ago. We were walking into a nail salon and I was wearing a new pair of high heels. When we got into the salon, a lady said, “You walk like wind!”

The modeling world taught me how to walk in high heels. You walk tall, shoulders back and head held high. It stuck with me and I find myself walking that way still. Maybe that’s why this picture resonates with me so much.

rooted

God made us in His image.

Walk like wind.

Oh Sugar Sugar

Looking in the mirror this morning, my face has a healthy glow. My eyes are clear and my heart is happy to have spent three days at the beach.

beach1
Padre Island

Getting back to normal life I was ready to smell something good. They sell Swan Creek Candles in Texas, so it’s a little odd I bought these at the beach, but I’ve never seen this particular one before. It called my name.

melties

A good pink, glitter and that name!

Our hallway smells amazing!

Oh, sugar sugar. I love sweets, but my daughter tells me, “Cancer loves sugar!”, so I’m mindful of intake. Just because I’m careful by not eating too much, doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy it. I’m happy with pictures of it!

sugar

Spending time at the beach shed new light. I see change in store, but for now join me in the delightment of oh sugar sugar.

When It’s Time

We learn from our surroundings.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw this hibiscus plant at the market. The price was marked way down because it’s at the end of it’s season. It looked so healthy and full of buds that I had to bring it home. It would be the last of the blooms.

The hibiscus displays one bloom a day.

It opens up to reveal it’s beauty all the way to the core and then politely closes at the end of the day. Even closed it’s beautiful, but it knows when it’s done. It doesn’t try to stay in bloom.

hibiscus
Can you see the closed bloom to the left?

 

I feel as if I’ve bloomed quite a bit this year and maybe that’s why I’m embracing the change in season. I’m ready to not bloom for a while. To take a season of rest.

Not everything I planted in the yard this year bloomed. The cannas and trumpet vine along the fence bloomed once, but they’re happily growing. So maybe that’s it. We have to grow before we can bloom. We have to be fully ready to bloom.

We will bloom, when it’s time.

Happy day Beautiful Souls.

Waiting for Autumn

autumn