So Why Leave

If I sit in the presence of Mr. Smith long enough, the conversation tends to grow deep. Not from me, but from him. I listen, become more quiet, until no words can form. I feel it.

This morning, we were sitting on the back porch, coffee in hand, watching Stork fly in over the lake. I feel a sense of peace when I see Stork. He has always revealed I am in a safe space. This morning, I felt my layers being peeled back one by one, and it was a gentle process. Smith was pointing out how I visit on the weekend, and then I pack up and leave.

Smith asked me to marry him months ago, and I said, “Yes.” Looking at our lives since then they haven’t changed much. I have two lives. The one with Smith on the weekends, and the one with my daughter during the week. My daughter visits some, but that is all it looks like is a weekend visit. My heart has been torn between these two worlds for a while.

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Smith has never loved me like I imagined I would be loved. He loves me better.

This morning was one of those times where he gently dug down to the heart of the matter. No more skimming over the surface, and the end result was a feeling of rawness. I thought I was holding it together pretty well, living this double life. But, I don’t have to ‘hold it all together’ anymore. I don’t have to be the man, and the woman, because he is the man.

Standing in the middle of the room was the elephant covered in glitter.

It’s always been my daughter, and me. Even when I was married to her father, it was really just the two of us. There comes a time where you don’t know which way is home. I have two houses, but which one feels more like home? Bringing three lives together, and enjoying one life. People say it’s a hard thing to do, but from where I sit, it’s harder not to.

So, the question is…why leave?

me

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

Just Trust Me

I wrote this two years ago today. I find it interesting how time goes by, and our lives change. This Blog refers to something from my past coming back to haunt me, but I don’t even recall what that was. It must not have been that bad, because I’m here loving life.

Another thing I noticed is, now when people ask me what I do, the first thing I tell them is, “I write.” That has come to the forefront for me, and my job is in the background. I also trust God more now, than a couple of years ago.  Time goes by, we make choices, and here we are.

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I’m sitting here before I retire for the evening and just wanted to write. I love to write. People ask me what I do and I tell them about my jobs and then I add, “I’m a writer.” They find my job status interesting enough. Helping people with their businesses is a stretch and grow for me, but they always look up at me with a smile when I add the ‘writer’ part. It’s like they want to ask all of the questions rolling through their mind, but are hesitant. It’s fun.

trustI found myself coming full circle today on trusting God. There was a season in my life, not that long ago, that I trusted Him just to wake me up the next day. He always did. Not knowing what direction my new life should go, I trusted Him for every step and sometimes every breath.

Making decisions with…

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Choose Your Mood

Thank you Seymour for being our Guest Blogger today. Enjoy!

wonderwomanYou ever have one of those days, weeks, months….lives….where you wake up just feeling like a grouch every morning?  Before you even get out of bed you are frustrated with the tasks of the day and feeling overwhelmed by the chaos of your schedule?  Haven’t made it to the coffee pot yet you just want to kick the dog and go back to bed and pull the covers over your head?  Well, good news, you are in great company.   Too many of us today experience this type of daily anguish.  We live at a break neck pace seldom taking time to regroup, refresh and rejuvenate ourselves.  All this leads to a chronic state of feeling out of sorts with the universe and makes us tired, troubled and frankly, quite irritable.

So, you’re thinking to yourself.…gee, that’s all true but it’s all well out of my control.  I challenge you to rethink that mind share and consider for a moment what your life would feel like if instead of waking feeling out of sorts with the world every day, you woke up and couldn’t wait to embrace the day.  The demands of your day haven’t changed yet you approach them with a vision seen through a totally different lens.  Just as a lens alters the convergence of light rays, as for magnification, or in correction of visual defects, you have the power to change the way you experience things and alter your mood.

Just like choosing what you are going to enjoy for breakfast, you are empowered to choose how your mind is going to control your day.  Happiness is, in fact, a choice.  One that is far too seldom selected by the vast majority of people but I challenge you to consider how your day would be altered if you subscribed to this philosophy for just one 24-hour period.  You owe it to yourself (not to mention those around you) to live with joy in your life.  Try it for just one day….make the commitment to yourself that regardless of your circumstances, you are going to approach each task with enthusiasm and the heartfelt pleasure that accompanies doing something well.

You’ll likely discover that your feel good state of mind is contagious and that those around you begin to notice your new approach to life and want some of it.  Imagine what it would be like to actually enjoy your daily activities and complete each day with a sense of fulfillment and completeness.  Pretty simple equation.  Change the viewing and you will change the doing.  You can do it.  Give it a go.

connieConnie is a novice writer after spending 40 years in Corporate America in Sales and Sales Leadership roles.  She loves encouraging people through the sharing of kindness and life’s experiences.  She is a Certified Coach through the International Coaching Federation and has spent her life mentoring those who wish to grow both professionally and personally.  She loves life, people, dogs and horses and volunteers as a rider/walker for disabled children who learn life skills through equestrian events.

Hope and Love

It was 5 am when I heard a distinctive sound. Numi was about to throw up in my room. I scooted her outside, thanked God for waking me up, and protecting my row of shoes.

My phone was blinking, letting me know I had mail. It was a comment on my Blog, and it touched my heart so deeply, I’m shaking as I type this. God was at work early this morning.

A woman found my Blog during the night, and read Blog after Blog, after Blog.

She left a comment, but then had a change of heart and asked me to delete it. I will do as she asks, but her comment will be forever imprinted on my soul. I needed to hear her words.

God works through people. They tell us what we need to hear. That is my hope while I write. That God will work through me, and you will read something you need to hear.

This woman validated what I have been doing the past three years. I’ve posted so many Memes on social media, I told my daughter yesterday, “My life is a Meme.” She laughed and disagreed, but from all those Memes, I could run some of my favorite ones through my mind at any time. I am mindful when talking with friends, or I’ll give them a quote from a Meme.

You can laugh along with me here, but it’s true. So, what God has called us to do, which is encouraging others, is a gift. People are reading our words, seeing our Memes, and it helps keep them going. What I want this woman to know is, the comment she left this morning will help keep me going. When you leave a comment, your words fill me with hope and love.

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One of my all time faves.

me

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

Taking A Break

I added something delightful to my mornings. After my quiet time, I curl up with my laptop, coffee in hand, and pull up my WordPress Reader. I love reading other writer’s work, and this has connected me with some Beautiful Souls. This community is a place of beauty.

I mowed my yard yesterday. That may not sound like much, or it may sound awful, but for me it was exhilarating. When it’s not 100 degrees outside, I enjoy walking behind a push mower. The last time I tried to mow was during Chemo. It didn’t end well because I almost passed out. It was one of the things I had to let go of, and let someone else step in and help.

Letting someone step in and help is a beautiful thing. I am taking a break from Social Media, but I have someone who will fill in during my absence. You will meet her soon, because she writes too. We give little pieces of ourselves throughout the day, especially doing what we love. I am reacquainting myself with the pieces of my life. To loosen my grip and see what stays.

I took a break from writing this to do a couple of things. I wanted to get to the post office before noon, to pay for my box rental. I thought they took their lunch at noon, but I soon found out, it’s 11:30. My order from Bath and Body Works had arrived, and that was sweet.

Lotion and lip gloss are my have to haves. All the lotions smell good, but I bought this one just for the name. On those day where I need a gentle reminder, I can look at this bottle.

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There was a lady standing in the Post Office going through a stack of junk mail, and we said, ‘Hello’. As I was walking out the door, she followed and said, “I want to invite you to something.”I stopped and looked at her inquisitively. Come to find out she is a martial arts instructor, and hosts self-defense classes for women, here in our little town. I am so excited!

My daughter has been wanting to take self-defense. I have been wanting some exercise other than mowing. This would be perfect! We exchanged information, and I am looking forward to the class this week. If I wouldn’t have taken a break when I did, I would have missed meeting her. God had our paths cross at His perfect timing. All I had to do was take a break.

I came home and put a chicken in the Crock Pot for dinner. Another thing of beauty.

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We will throw what’s leftover back into the Crock Pot, add water, and let it cook all night. In the morning I will have chicken stock. https://www.100daysofrealfood.com/recipe-the-best-whole-chicken-in-a-crock-pot

Taking a break can be as simple as sitting down on Numi’s level to receive dog kisses. That is one thing I won’t take a break from. To love and be loved.

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Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Am Free

I woke up early this morning to a message from a dear friend of mine in the UK. She knew I had my last Radiation treatment, and was expressing her joy. She asked an interesting question. She said, “Are you free”? She meant from Cancer, but there I went to pondering!

None of my doctors will ever come out and tell me, “You are Cancer free.” I guess they can get into a lot of trouble for saying that, but I know my body, and my God, and I am free.

I feel free. My life reflects how free I am, so how free is that?

I found this place on the way home from Radiation last week. There was road construction, and the detour took me here. I had heard of it, but never knew where it was until that detour. I don’t eat a lot of meat, but when I do, it’s gotta be good. I’m pretty much in love with this place, and I get a kick out of the name of the town it’s in called ‘Uhland.’

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Meat case at Bon Ton Market

 

This General Store holds a special place in my heart. My daughter would not stop there with me because she thought it looked creepy. I drove by here twice a day during Radiation.

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Lytton Springs General Store

I had to stop in just to relay to my daughter if it was creepy or not. It was like stepping back in time. There were men sitting on the bench outside seeing who could tell the bigger lie. They looked at me like I was not from here, but little did they now, I live in the next town over. The woman at the counter inside gave me a warm welcome and asked, “Where are you from?”

I laughed as I walked over to the coffee pot to inspect their brew. She said, “It ain’t no Starbucks, but it’s made with love! I have walked here before just for a cup of that coffee.”

I poured a cup, added creamer, and walked up to the counter to pay. She charged me $1.00, and I went outside to enjoy the sunshine on the front porch. That was, and is the best cup of coffee I’ve ever had. I stopped by this morning on the way home from Uhland for a cup.

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Pulling away from the General Store, this is the next thing I see. My daughter was amused that I pulled off the road to take a picture of this sign. Driving home from Radiation, it always gave me great comfort to see it. Just one more mile, and I’ll be home.

The meat from the market went in the fridge, except for the roast. It went into the Crock Pot. While at the market, I spotted some candles that were made by a local woman. I don’t need anymore candles, but she had some wax melts, which I was out of. They were $3.00 a pack, and I chose the scent entitled, ‘Sunkissed.’ I will pay $3.00 all day long to be sunkissed.

I was ready for a cup of tea, and chose one from the cabinet named, “Zen.” Thinking ahead, I chose another one to go with dinner. I had some large, steeping tea bags of, “Pure Peach” that sounded good. They are from Zhi Tea, in Austin, one of my fave tea shops. You fill a pitcher with water, drop the tea bag in and let it steep sitting on the counter. It’s called a cold steep.

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This is what one corner of my kitchen looks like. The rest of it is reasonably clean. The wax warmer with the wax melts went into the bathroom. The bathroom looks like three girls lived here this weekend, but now it smells good. My daughter just said, “This is the best smelling bathroom ever!” She is preparing to take her friend home that spent the weekend.

I hope you are free. To answer my friends question, in more ways than one, I am free.

 

me

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

To Be Inspired

It is cold here in Texas, which is okay because it doesn’t last long.

I believe the main thing I learned from challenging myself to write for 30 straight days is this. I am not in control. It’s not about me, and what I want to write. It’s about God, and Him placing something on my heart to share with you.

I have plenty of topics to pull from, and can make myself write something. That is not what brings me joy. For me, the joy of writing is to be inspired, and the words just flow through the fingers, to the keyboard, and appear on the screen to share.

God didn’t prompt me to challenge myself. This is something I chose to do.

I can see God still blessed it. He is good like that. Some of the Blogs were inspired by Him, and some of them I just wrote. I don’t know if you can tell the difference, but I can. Maybe it’s not so much the finished product, but the feeling I had while typing.

We will see what happens in the next two days. I have learned a lot this month from the challenge, but I’m thinking I would rather wait, and be inspired.

meBarbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of 2016 that she had Breast Cancer. Her life is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com