There’s A Doggo

My daughter spent the weekend with her Dad. She got sick, and is still there getting her strength back. I am not happy she was sick, but I’m pretty relieved she is not here yet.

I pulled into my driveway yesterday afternoon, and parked in front of the barn. Laying in the barn was a dog. We have doggo’s come around from time to time, but they never stay. They are usually just looking for food, and are too afraid to come near ya. In case you don’t realize the dilemma here, my daughter loves dogs, but I am not a huge fan. She loves dogs!

My daughter would have 40 dogs if allowed. She is to stay away from animal shelters for that reason. She sees them on the side of the road while driving, and wants to stop and pick them up. She has a huge heart, and that heart is not only for humans. The doggo is high on her list of faves, so I have no idea what to do about this one living in my barn.

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I walked up to the barn this morning to feed the cats. Standing in the barn, I hear a rustling noise coming from a dark corner. There is a stack of boxes over there, and out walks the doggo. I didn’t expect her to still be here, so the noise startled me a bit. She had made a bed on top of the boxes, and she was hiding. From what, I’m not sure yet.

She looks healthy, but is less than a year old. You can tell she still has puppy in her.

She wagged her tail so hard when she saw me, her whole body moved along with it. I decided to feed the cats somewhere else, and bring her some food. She had to be hungry by now. When I poured the food into the metal bowl, she inhaled it. She was indeed hungry. I then brought her some water, but she was hoping it was more food. Oh…what have I done!

There is something to be said for being chosen, instead of choosing.

This doggo found us, and I am pleased that she has made our barn her shelter. I am guessing someone dropped her off after seeing this little farmhouse, with a fenced in yard, and barn. If she stays, she stays. If she goes, she goes. We will see once my daughter gets home. If she is still here when that occurs, pray for me now, because doggo will be home.

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mescarf (135x240)Barbara is a Writer, a Letting Go Coach, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of 2016 that she had Breast Cancer. She has completed Chemo, and is going through Radiation. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

The Cone Down

A pretty sight for me is this red tea in a pink mug. It’s cold and rainy here in Texas, and I am back at my farmhouse. I learned today that Radiation is going to get better tomorrow.

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Radiation is better than Chemo. Thanks to Chemo, I guage life’s upsets upon it. If something happens that is disturbing, and going to take some walking through, I ask myself, “Is it as bad as Chemo?” Nope. I haven’t found anything as bad as Chemo.

Tomorrow at Radiation, they begin my cone down. I’m excited because the radiation will no longer be pointed at my chest. It is already looking quite lobster like, so no more burn.

For these final few sessions, they pinpoint an area about the size of a quarter, where the lump used to be. This is the left side of my breast, up under the armpit. They will zap me right there in that spot, and after 8 more zappos, it will be over! That is called a cone down.

I have met an amzing group of women at Radiation. It’s worth going just to bond with them each day. They were intrigued to discover I write, and looked up my Blog. Those sweet souls asked if they could refer other patients to it. I am humbled and honored.

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We do life together, and so did the women at Chemo, but I was usually unconscious within minutes at Chemo. Those women took care of me when I couldn’t. They still hold a space in my heart, but Radiation is nothing like Chemo. You walk in, and you walk out. You drive yourself there and back, and you don’t feel the urge to take a nap as soon as you get home.

Every part of this journey has held me exactly where I needed to be.

My life feels pretty Zen about now. I am so grateful to have had this journey, but I’m also excited that it’s almost complete. If you or someone you love is going through Chemo, just know, that is the worst part in my opinion. It does getter better and you will get through.

mescarf (135x240)

Barbara is a Writer, a Letting Go Coach, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of 2016 that she had Breast Cancer. She has completed Chemo, and is going through Radiation. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

Eye See You

I started a Blog yesterday, but didn’t allow myself time to finish, and publish it. This 30 day challenge of writing is showing me many things. Not everything has to be published.

Yesterday, I drove to the lake to see Mr. Smith. On the drive here, I watched as the outdoor temperature dropped. Checking the weather before I left prompted me to pack items for 70 degree weather. The temperature outside went from the 70’s to the 50’s upon arrival.

Mr. Smith had the doors, and windows of the house open. He had been enjoying the 70 degree temps as well. I walked in, and saw him standing in the sliding glass doorway, and he looked so different. We had not seen each other since Christmas, but we talk everyday. He was wearing flannel lounging pants, a white tank, and had a bandanna tied over his hair.

Mr. Smith is a Chef, and yesterday he looked the part. He looked at ease in his skin.

It caught me off guard, and I tried to respond naturally, but I could not connect. I know who he is, and what he is, but my heart was arguing with my head. We were disconnected.

I started pondering what love is, and that is what I started writing about. Today, I see what my eyes were seeing, and what my heart was showing me. Let’s look at a few examples of love in action. There are many ways he displays his love, but for the sake of brevity, we will stick with examples from yesterday, starting with the state of the house.

Chef knows I live an uncluttered life. He has been doing some ‘spring cleaning’ he says, but I see it differently. The closets, and inside the cabinets have all been cleaned out and organized. You can look around and tell that Chef is willing to share his life.

He has a knack of doing things for both of us, but I believe I receive the biggest thrill. Chef and I love music even though our taste in music are different, there’s one thing we know. It feeds the soul.

He bought something easy for me to play music on. Before yesterday, I had to try and figure out his sound system, and it was hit or miss for me. This morning when he left for work, I hit two buttons, and was quickly listening to my favorite  Jennifer Nettles CD.

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To clear a spot for our simple sound system, he put his knife collection in a closet, but as you can see, he left my Jesus Calling devotional laying out. This is a picture of happiness.

I’ve had a difficult time recently with my part time job, but that is another Blog. Between the stress I was feeling from that, my boob stinging from the radiation, and then this disconnect, I was a mess. I went and laid across the bed, and watched the wind blow outside. Chef came back to check on me, but he knew I was off center, so he gave me space.

Then, I heard it. The music. It started out slow, and soothing, but then it changed.

Chef was in the kitchen, doing what he loves to do. Cook! He was actually cooking a spectacular dinner that I was supposed to be helping with, but I wasn’t done pouting.

He changed the music to country, which I love. I heard Brad Paisley, and some of the greats singing away. Then the music changed again, but this time, it almost made me cry.

I heard Lionel Richie. Ladies, if your man plays Lionel Richie, that man loves you.

By this time, I was back in front of my laptop trying to do my job, but I could feel the words to each song drifting down the hallway to where I was sitting. Chef was trying to reach me without being in my face. He gave me my 3 minute heads up on dinner being plated as I finished my work. Joining him at the dining room table, I felt like a big bowl of mush.

He will read this Blog at some point today, and I’m grateful he doesn’t embarrass easily. I was concerned for half a minute what he would think, but who am I kidding? He already knows all of this; he knew it yesterday. Chef sees everything, but best of all, he sees me.

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Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of 2016 that she had Breast Cancer. She has completed Chemo, and is going through Radiation. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

That’s Okay Too

I woke up this morning with no Blog title. How God can give me three one morning, and zero today, I don’t know. Then, I just sat with that realization, and thought. “That’s okay too.”

Stretching myself to write a Blog a day the month of January, is not about having it all together. I believe it’s about just writing even when I don’t have a plan. I have already accomplished three things this morning that were on my weekly list. Just a couple more, and my week will be complete. It’s all good to have a plan, but even when I don’t, that’s okay too.

I  walked into our bathroom, and it looked like a literal towel explosion. There were towels on the floor, tub, and shower. I scooped them all up and put them in the washer, and started the washer. After they are washed, they will be dried and folded, and put back into place. It was an easy fix, and I thought, it would be nice if all of life’s little messes could be so easily fixed.

This was by far the toughest day I had writing a Blog. Writing is a gift, so I’m not even sure how structured that gift can be, but I’ll continue on with my 30 day writing challenge. I have already learned a lot, and I’m curious to see what all I can learn by the end of the 30 days. I am already learning that a writer will write, with or without a topic, and that’s okay too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It Wasn’t Pretty

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This is Day 6 of my 30 day Blogging Challenge. I didn’t join a group, or sign up for this. It’s something I want to do to challenge myself to become better. It’s not easy, but I’m digging it.

It’s cold here in Texas, and lastnight it got down below 20 degrees. Guess who forgot to leave a faucet dripping? Yes darling, I woke up to frozen pipes, and no running water.

My daughter and I decided to leave the house around noon, which by then, it had warmed up to 30 degrees. I knew I would need to stop and get gas, because my truck had beeped at me yesterday when I arrived home. Normally when he beeps, I have 50 miles until empty, but his data has been rather random recently. We drove 10 miles down the road, and ran out of gas.

It was pretty funny because I have NEVER run out of gas. That is one of my things, to always have gas. If I have to choose being on time getting somewhere, or a few minutes late to stop and get gas, I will opt for a few minutes late and get gas. I’d rather make sure that I actually get there. So, when my truck stopped running, I wasn’t sure what was happening.

We pulled over on the side of the road. Fortunately, we were on a straight stretch of a pretty popular road, and not a back road. For half a second I thought, “This is when having a husband would be nice.” Let’s face it, men know what to do when things like this occur.

But, that is not the case, so I did the next best thing. I called a male friend. He was out of town, so he called a couple of friends, and one of them brought us gas. We were saved!

We sat on the side of the road in our truck for about an hour, watching cars go by. Living in Texas, I was surprised that nobody stopped. Which, I didn’t bring attention to ourselves like turning on the flashers. I wasn’t really sure that I wanted anyone to stop this day and age.

My daughter and I just hung out in the truck, and talked about what was going on around us.

Even being stranded on the side of the road became an opportunity for quality time.

Once we returned home, the pipes had thawed out, and we had water again. It was all good. I guess that is the moral to this story. Life isn’t always pretty, but today, I saw a lot of good.

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Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of this year that she has Breast Cancer. She has completed Chemo, and is starting Radiation. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

A Side Note

I slept through the night. That in itself is a miracle. I woke up thinking about a Blog I wrote lastnight before bed entitled, Change In Season. I wanted to pull it up, and delete it because I wasn’t happy with it. Since when is this Blog about me? I just write what’s on my heart.

The next thing I thought of was what day it is. It’s Tuesday, but I don’t have Chemo. Week two begins of the three week break. There is no feeling of dread this morning. No dark cloud following me around. It’s a new day full of possibilities, and more healing for my body.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about life it’s this. There is a reason, and a season for everything. Now, God doesn’t reveal the reason for the season in the beginning, but when it’s over, you will know why. Let me encourage you to be present in the season you’re in.

A season can last a long time. I have a friend that has been battling Breast Cancer a lot longer than me. To look at her circumstances, it seems to be getting worse, and not better. Let me tell you that God gives His biggest battles, to His toughest soldiers. When her battle is over, it’s going to be obvious that God did for her what she couldn’t do for herself.

I have another friend that is in a season of quiet. She doesn’t feel she is being used by God.

This woman has been used by God her entire life. She introduced me to a church that reconnected me to God, and she was my daughter’s Nanny for a short time. She brought joy and laughter to our lives, and years later, she still does. When you are in a season of quiet, that stinkin Devil will walk in and make you doubt every aspect of your life.

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I have been in a season of quiet for a long time. Going through Chemo has made it challenging to write. The toxins alone mess with your mind and body, and give ample opportunity for the devil to kick you while you’re down. Not today Satan. Not today.

I started questioning my mission, and pondered maybe I should stop writing. Am I reaching people, or helping them in any way? I have to believe that God will use this Blog to encourage others. Even if I don’t see a lot of comments, or hear from people as often as I would like. I’ve always had a big mouth, and I’m not afraid to use it. Even if I just reach one.

That same friend that isn’t feeling used by God, took time to encourage me yesterday.

She said she is always encouraged by my Blog. She has said in the past that she always gets something out of it, and sometimes it feels like it’s written specifically for her. Well my friend if your are reading this, let me assure you that God is still using you. The writer over here that was doubting her ability to write again, has just written another Blog.

I would love to hear about the season you are in. Feel free to share in the comment section.

mescarf (135x240)

Barbara is a God follower, a Writer, and Mom to her 17-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Part of her mission is to show people they can start over at 50. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com