Feel the Music

In the past four years, I’ve had the pleasure of loving two men. I don’t talk about it much, but love has been on my mind this weekend, as you can see from yesterday’s post.

Social media teaches us it’s all about the numbers. Once I realized that, it was a sad day seeing numbers, instead of souls. All of my accounts are now closed except for one.

When I began this Blog it was for a couple of reasons.

One-I wanted my daughter to have a place to go, and read about our life together. Two-I wanted to change somebody’s perspective on life. Not the world, just one.

There is a comment sitting in my comment folder that I will not publish, but this Blog changed her world. There is an email sitting in my Inbox from the son of a dear friend. He found this Blog, and was impacted when I wrote about her.

Hearing this song made me think of those men. It was love that changed their world, and loving them changed mine.

I love to love. That’s what I do. One Blog post at a time.

Feel the Music

Years ago, my Mom came to visit us in Texas.

After a few days of showing her around, she asked, “Where are all the cowboys?!” Her comment still brings a smile to my face. I responded, “They are here Mama, just hidden.” She watched way too many westerns.

Yesterday morning, a young cowboy was walking in front of me into a restaurant, and I knew what was going to happen as soon as I saw him. He was wearing jeans, boots, and a plaid shirt tucked into his jeans. Yes! In this Texas heat!

He saw me approaching from behind, reached for the door handle of the restaurant, pulled the door open and stood there waiting for me to walk in first. It’s how he was raised.

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Standing in line at the restaurant, he stood out, and I could tell the waiting was making him uncomfortable.

There was a young man about his age standing nearby dressed normally. He was also staring at his phone, which I didn’t see the young cowboy with a phone. It was 10:00 am, and he was trying to order lunch. The lady behind the counter modified the menu to make him lunch.

I felt sad for the young cowboy, feeling out of place in Texas of all places! He probably received his first pocket knife at the age of five, and was taught how to use it for work on the farm, and whittling wood for fun. Not for protection.

Maybe he felt like he was standing out in the crowd, but I saw him as standing above it.

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Thank you Mama’s for continuing to raise young cowboy’s.

May they always stand out in the crowd, and open doors.

Eye See You

I started a Blog yesterday, but didn’t allow myself time to finish, and publish it. This 30 day challenge of writing is showing me many things. Not everything has to be published.

Yesterday, I drove to the lake to see Mr. Smith. On the drive here, I watched as the outdoor temperature dropped. Checking the weather before I left prompted me to pack items for 70 degree weather. The temperature outside went from the 70’s to the 50’s upon arrival.

Mr. Smith had the doors, and windows of the house open. He had been enjoying the 70 degree temps as well. I walked in, and saw him standing in the sliding glass doorway, and he looked so different. We had not seen each other since Christmas, but we talk everyday. He was wearing flannel lounging pants, a white tank, and had a bandanna tied over his hair.

Mr. Smith is a Chef, and yesterday he looked the part. He looked at ease in his skin.

It caught me off guard, and I tried to respond naturally, but I could not connect. I know who he is, and what he is, but my heart was arguing with my head. We were disconnected.

I started pondering what love is, and that is what I started writing about. Today, I see what my eyes were seeing, and what my heart was showing me. Let’s look at a few examples of love in action. There are many ways he displays his love, but for the sake of brevity, we will stick with examples from yesterday, starting with the state of the house.

Chef knows I live an uncluttered life. He has been doing some ‘spring cleaning’ he says, but I see it differently. The closets, and inside the cabinets have all been cleaned out and organized. You can look around and tell that Chef is willing to share his life.

He has a knack of doing things for both of us, but I believe I receive the biggest thrill. Chef and I love music even though our taste in music are different, there’s one thing we know. It feeds the soul.

He bought something easy for me to play music on. Before yesterday, I had to try and figure out his sound system, and it was hit or miss for me. This morning when he left for work, I hit two buttons, and was quickly listening to my favorite  Jennifer Nettles CD.

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To clear a spot for our simple sound system, he put his knife collection in a closet, but as you can see, he left my Jesus Calling devotional laying out. This is a picture of happiness.

I’ve had a difficult time recently with my part time job, but that is another Blog. Between the stress I was feeling from that, my boob stinging from the radiation, and then this disconnect, I was a mess. I went and laid across the bed, and watched the wind blow outside. Chef came back to check on me, but he knew I was off center, so he gave me space.

Then, I heard it. The music. It started out slow, and soothing, but then it changed.

Chef was in the kitchen, doing what he loves to do. Cook! He was actually cooking a spectacular dinner that I was supposed to be helping with, but I wasn’t done pouting.

He changed the music to country, which I love. I heard Brad Paisley, and some of the greats singing away. Then the music changed again, but this time, it almost made me cry.

I heard Lionel Richie. Ladies, if your man plays Lionel Richie, that man loves you.

By this time, I was back in front of my laptop trying to do my job, but I could feel the words to each song drifting down the hallway to where I was sitting. Chef was trying to reach me without being in my face. He gave me my 3 minute heads up on dinner being plated as I finished my work. Joining him at the dining room table, I felt like a big bowl of mush.

He will read this Blog at some point today, and I’m grateful he doesn’t embarrass easily. I was concerned for half a minute what he would think, but who am I kidding? He already knows all of this; he knew it yesterday. Chef sees everything, but best of all, he sees me.

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Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of 2016 that she had Breast Cancer. She has completed Chemo, and is going through Radiation. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com