Tag: #breastcancer

Keep Choosing Her

I woke up this morning to the smell of Mrs. Meyers. I cleaned house yesterday, and not just the usual dusting and vacuuming. No, my darling, I was on my hands and knees scrubbing corners.

It reminded me of my drinking days.

I was a falling down, blackout drunk.

soberwoman

I posted this on my Letitgocoach Facebook page, but seeing it again this morning, it spoke to me as a sober woman. Sobriety is a choice, and when you have family history of alcoholism, the odds of drinking increase.

Recently, I offended a friend of mine.

She lost her sobriety after taking care of her Grand-kids for a week. That would definitely be a tempting time to drink, but no, I’m not giving up sobriety. She asked if I’d ever been tempted to drink, and I told her, “You would think so when the doctor told me I had Breast Cancer, but you can’t drink during Chemotherapy.”

She compared my Cancer, to her one bad day.

Hey, anyone can stop drinking, but living sober is an act of God. It’s a hard choice, and by His grace, the only choice to continue being a sober woman, is to keep choosing her.

Worth the Wait

The candle display looked sparse.

My friend who owns the local Shoppe had placed an order for new ones, but they hadn’t come in yet. The display looked like it was in waiting.

I went back to the Shoppe a few days later, but still no candles. There was a holdup in the shipment, but I could wait. If there’s one thing Breast Cancer taught me is how to wait. ‘You wait patiently Barb, holding the highest expectation of outcomes.’

There’s goodness in the waiting.

More days passed and I called the Shoppe. They had located the shipment and it was to arrive that day or the next at the latest. A couple of days later, I entered the Shoppe to find a breathtaking display. My friend had ordered so many Voluspa candles, the candle display spilled onto other displays.

It seemed like a natural effect for this much beauty.

I’ve written quite a bit about waiting. We tend to wait for the big things in life, but it’s an accumulation of little things that equal big. The day comes where you sit down to write a Blog, and there’s this knowing that every little thing has been worth the wait.

volupsa1

Cloak of Protection

I received a sweet comment on a post from a follower. I admire her writing and her words are full of wisdom. I found her through a picture of a beat up Bible.

my-ragged-bible
Her Ragged Bible

She doesn’t post very often, but when she does I drink it up. She explains this by saying, “Committing to writing has always been an adventurous discipline for me. Forgive me for not posting as quickly as my experiences occur. I am ever so grateful for the way Life is treating me and faithfully attuned to how God stands in the gaps of my unknowing.”

After seeing her picture, I grabbed my Bible. It has a cover on it for protection, so I knew it wouldn’t look like hers, but the cover has some scars.

bible
My Bible

My first thought was to take the cover off and it would soon begin to look like hers, but the cover is there for protection from the elements. You used to be able to leave her a comment, but her most recent post has comments disabled. She needed protection from the elements.

She was being bullied in her comment section for talking about God. This is a woman who has no protection on her Bible and it looks ragged. When we put ourselves out there in this world we need some protection, or we begin to look ragged like that bible.

Keep writing my darlings, even if you need to wrap yourself in a cloak of protection.

God’s Not Done

Yesterday, I was pondering God’s plan for my life. I wanted to know I’m on the right path. If I’m really doing what God wants me to do.

Well my daring, there’s one thing I do know.

Either way, He’s going to use it for our good and His glory. It’s all part of a greater plan.

In particular I was thinking of my Chemo treatments for Breast Cancer. It was scary enough having Breast Cancer, but Chemo was the worst thing I’ve ever been through. Toward the end of my treatment I wasn’t sure I was going to make it, but God pulled me through.

It felt like Chemo was killing me, but God was using Chemo to kill the Cancer, not me.

Looking back I can say, “Breast Cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me.” It brought me heart to heart with the King himself.

I woke up this morning at 5:30 am.

It’s a new day, so God’s not done.

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It’s Romantic Football

A change in perspective.

In any relationship you need to spend time together. Even if it’s sitting in the same room. Just be present with one another. Make the most of every moment.

When we first met, I didn’t like football.

Our second year, I had breast cancer.

By the third year, I realised football was not going away. It was a part of his life, and so was I. How to intertwine the two? Add a part of me to football.

rf

Welcome to Romantic Football.

I light candles along the mantle, and in the room, but the mantle is always lit during football.

This past football season I’ve been present, and it’s been enjoyable. I actually like football now.

When we’re together, it’s romantic football.

Call Me Katniss

I want to share a Blog with you.

I’ve followed this woman for years, and she has no idea the impact she’s had on my life. I found her during my Breast Cancer Journey, but she was ahead of me. Reading her posts gave me an idea of what to expect. Then, she just sopped writing.

She took a two year break.

She returned this year, and so did Cancer.

Her post this morning revealed her hair falling out from the Chemo. That is a feeling that doesn’t leave. You wake up to a pillow covered in hair, and head straight to the shower, but then the water hits your head, and the hair continues falling out, clinging to your dampened skin like plastic wrap.

It’s horrendous! The shower doesn’t wash it away!

I feel like she needs some love today.

I don’t think she’s ever responded to my comments, so don’t be offended if your comment receives no reply. She doesn’t have many followers, but her writing is wrapped in beauty. Let’s take a moment, and wrap our virtual arms around Call Me Katniss.

PS. You can also click here to view her Blog.

This Quiet Season

I sat in my bed this morning, and had a talk with God. He has a plan, but I just wanted to share my requests.

I’m in a quiet season of my life. It’s been this way for months, but I’m learning to sit with it. After He healed my Breast Cancer last year, I was ready to be His mighty foot soldier again, but He has other plans.

In a quiet season, you do quiet things.

puzzle

I sat down in front of it this morning, and asked to find this one piece. It would be completely dark green, so you would think it would be easy to see. Scooping up a handful of pieces from the box, I looked in my hand, and there it was. The piece I asked for.

My natural response was, “Thank you God”, because I had gone through these pieces last night and couldn’t find it, but today is a new day. He was ready to reveal it to me today, and knew I needed that small piece of encouragement while sitting in this quiet season. When life is quiet, God is there.

If God can show me one missing piece to a 1,000 piece puzzle, then I can trust Him to show me the missing pieces of my life.

Trust Him I will, because the puzzle laying on this table will come together one piece at a time, very similar to life. My friends tell me, “He’s preparing you for something”, but I don’t know what that is.

If I overly focus on finding a piece, I miss the overall picture. The box the puzzle came in reveals how beautiful it can be!

I’m good with taking my time and enjoying the process of finding every piece. It will come together, in this quiet season.

I Love Lucy

My daughter is spending time this week with one of her best friends. Her friend goes to college in Florida, so they haven’t seen one another in years. She came to Texas to celebrate my daughter’s birthday, which was Wednesday.

Yesterday, I checked the mail, and it was stuffed with all kinds of goodness. I had ordered film for my daughter’s Instamatic camera, and it came in. We weren’t sure the film was going to arrive in time for her to use it during her friend’s visit, but God took care of it. My package from the UK was there as well, and I squealed with excitement!

Lucy was here!

lucy
Lucy from Little Fears.

Peter Edwards writes a Blog entitled, Little Fears.

He showed up on my Blog during my Cancer Journey.

Peter has always been an encouragement to me, and I admire his passion for what he does. I believe we have numerous opportunities as a community of Bloggers to encourage one another. Purchasing Lucy was my way of giving Peter a little bit of encouragement.

There is something about this scary looking creature, holding a heart that makes me smile. I can’t tell if she is offering it, or taking it.

My daughter and her friend stopped by yesterday just to give hugs. She saw Lucy displayed in the frame we had chosen for her together. I was beaming with love over Lucy, and my daughter shouted, “I love Lucy!”

Thank you Peter for helping us face our Little Fears.

Living God’s Best

I ran into a friend yesterday, and she asked, “Are you okay?” She had a look of concern on her face, and I assured her that I was. She had read my Blog about the Cancer scare, and wanted to make sure I was all good. She is not the only friend that wasn’t sure, so let’s see if I can be more clear.

What we go through in life is a test of some sort.

strong

I don’t believe there is Cancer in my breast. The technician wasn’t sure what she was seeing during the sonogram, so I had the films sent to my Oncologist who knows my history. He didn’t see anything concerning, but wants to see my next film in six months. I’m not worried, so don’t you be either!

God used that situation to reach the right people, and I now have really good health insurance!

In March, or April of next year, I will have another mammogram, and have faith for God’s best. Since walking out of the imaging center a month ago, I have made life changes, and am still making them. When God shows me His best, I want to give Him my best in return. The entire incident brought this to the forefront of my mind.

“What do I want my life to look in six months? Am I living God’s best?”

In Six Months

Once Cancer leaves your body, it doesn’t completely leave your mind. I said no to going to see my Breast Surgeon.

Instead, I called the imaging center, and asked them to send the films to my Oncologist. If I had to choose who to go see, it would be him. His office called and he agreed with the Radiologist. He’s not concerned, but wants to see me in six months.

When I left the imaging center, those words were playing on a loop in my mind. “See you in six months.” How would I live my life the next six months? What have I been putting off doing? I listened to my heart the whole way home.

As soon as I walked through the door, I bought concert tickets to see Noah Gundersen.

My daughter has seen him in concert, and he is one of our favorite artists. He’s not very well-known, so the tickets are cheap. She wants me to see him in concert, and she asked for these tickets as part of her birthday in August.

She had a priority list of things she’d like for her birthday, and we did everything on her little list, except the tickets. He’s playing in Houston, so that meant spending the night. I called my co-worker, and asked if I could work her hours. She said yes, so I made the extra money to enjoy the upcoming concert, and we will spend the night in Houston.

My daughter thought maybe I cancelled my appointment because of money. I said, “No darling. We have the money, but we are going to see Noah, and cherish the moment.”