Be the Mama

I try not to rush anymore, but recently I found myself getting sucked into life’s frenzy.

This morning it was time to stop.

back view beach clouds dawn
Photo by Riccardo Bresciani on Pexels.com

I’ve been watching my daughter.

At 19 years old she has wisdom and discernment, and makes sound decisions. I’ve stepped back to let her practice running her own life. Watching how she manages it, and giving her plenty of space. She’s been adulting very well except for this one thing….

She’s exhausted.

Mentally and physically.

Time For a Change

I took a long look at how busy she has been. We both have, but I could also feel a disconnect. We are more than roommates. We actually do this life together, but when she came home Monday from her Dad’s, she sat down and fell asleep in her chair.

Her visits with her Dad haven’t changed since the move, even though the distance has.  He’s only ten minutes away now instead of an hour, but she still packs her duffel bag every Friday, and heads to his home. Stays the weekend and comes back here on Monday. She has three days before doing it all again.

I’m Still the Mama

She communicates with her Dad, and they make their own plans, until this morning. While she slept, I texted him and told him she is staying home this weekend. It was time to step in and be the Mama.

When she awoke, I told her what I did, and she looked mortified that I had stepped in, but you know what else I saw? Relief. And a slight smile.

This weekend she doesn’t have to be an adult. We will spend time together doing whatever we choose.

Today was a good day to step in and be the Mama.

Just Breathe Beauties

Breathe in- Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Breathe out-Monday through Thursday.

imthatchick

You’re So Extra

It’s the weekend, and my daughter is at her Dad’s.

You would think, I’d be used to this by now.

When we lived an hour away, it felt like she was far away. Since we moved, she is now 10 minutes away, but somehow that makes it a bit more difficult. I want to meet her for coffee, but I respect their time together on the weekends.

silence

The silence of her being away is deafening. Embrace it.

I bought her favorite flowers earlier this week, and put them in a vase. I told her, “It’s difficult to make the heavy-headed Sunflower stand up, so I cut them short, and added some filler.” She looked at the greenery I used inquisitively, and I shared, “Oh, it’s just something I found growing in the yard.”

She burst into laughter and said, “Mom! You’re so extra!”

extra

I usually spend time on the weekends doing the extra’s, but this weekend, I’m spending time on me. I value the word, ‘weekend’. We are nearing the end of another week, so it’s time to refresh, and realign our souls for a new week.

pause

I spent money yesterday that I wouldn’t normally spend.

To justify this purchase, I reminded myself that it was going to be a quiet weekend at home, and I would have spent at least $30, if not more, at the Farmer’s Market. It was raining yesterday, and the FM was closed, so this reasoning works.

Sometimes is hard to spend money on something frivolous when you have a spending limit. When my daughter gets home, and sees new candles burning, she will ask, “Did you eat this weekend?’ I have been known to choose coffee, flowers, and candles over food, without her supervision.

Yesterday, I ducked into a shop to get out of the rain, and they had a huge display of Tyler Candles. These smell divine! I was standing there gazing at the selection, when the sales lady asked if I had tried ‘the wash.’ On the other side of the wall of candles stood more products made by Tyler. They have expanded into laundry detergent.

glamorous

I envisioned washing our sheets with this. My love for these candles had me picturing going to sleep, wrapped in a candle fragrance! This set came with three *votive candles, and two pretty holders. That my friends, is beyond extra!

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Weekend Plans: Breathe, Pause, Repair your Universe, Proceed.

*Tip for today: Before placing a votive candle in the holder, pour a little water in first. Just to cover the bottom. Once the candle has completed it’s burn time, and is ready to be discarded, it will pop right out of the holder. Plus, if you forget to blow it out before leaving the house, it will extinguish itself once it reaches the water in the bottom.

However, I don’t recommend tempting fate this way.

Leave Me Alone

When you have the opportunity to be alone, take it. Being alone gives us the chance to just sit with ourselves and see if we’re happy with that. A lot of people don’t like this feeling and have to be busy or around other people to avoid it. Staying busy and the noise and activity of people keeps us from sitting with ourselves. We have to like ourselves before anyone else will.

walkawaBeing alone and being lonely are two different things. One contains solitude and the other contains insecurity. You are the only ‘person’ that can make you happy. We look for happiness in other people and things. Having been through the gambit of materialism which gave me a mountain of stuff to take care of. What I needed to take care of was me.

Letting Go of people, places and things is what I had to do. Once those were removed all I was left with was God and me. I knew God had a plan that was much better than any plan I could construct. My best day of thinking got me a 16 year membership, thus far, to Alcoholics Anonymous. I was ready to dump all my junk and follow God.

Sitting with yourself doesn’t mean a thinking session and trying to fix what’s unbalanced in your life. It truly means sit, breath and listen. Here is a breathing technique to empty your mind from Lesson One of Letigocoach.

To breathe peacefully:breathe
1. Close your eyes
2. Take in 3 breaths
3. Let go of the last breath and wait for your body to breathe by itself
4. Be patient as you wait
5. Allow the inhale to occur as much or as little as it wants
6. Let go of your exhale and wait for the inhale to occur
7. Focus on consistently letting go of your exhale
8. Relax your body as your exhale occurs
Breathe for at least 10 minutes until you are very calm. Once you are calm, focusing on each breath, observe when a thought arises in your mind. (Note – You are not looking to think. You are just being aware when a thought arises.)
1. Write this thought down, unedited
2. Return to breathing and being peaceful
3. If another thought arises, write this down, unedited
4. Return to your breath and being peaceful
Continue writing all thoughts as they occur. Do not focus on the thought. Do not consider the thought. Simply write it down and return to your breath. Allow your mind to empty.
This exercise will:
1. Enhance your ability to obtain a calm, peaceful state
2. Clear your mind of clutter-thoughts
3. Clear your emotional center from negative energy

There is something therapeutic when it comes to writing on paper. The thought travels from your mind, down your arm, through the hand and pen, onto the paper. It’s a mental, physical and emotional release that is well worth the time. If you don’t take the time to care for yourself, no one else will. If you are interested in learning more, feel free to visit me at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Let-It-Go/674351222613309, and remember to breathe.