Tag: calm in the chaos

Farewell to Who I Thought I Was

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It’s Saturday morning in the first week of October and my home is so still and quiet, one could hear my stomach grumble.

I’m supposed to be attending a Jack Canfield, Breakthrough to Success weekend workshop. I was invited by someone who doesn’t know me very well, but sees me as motivated. Friday was the first day I attended, but it reminded me of a Richard Simmons workout, as the spokesman was trying to get the audience pumped up and motivated before Jack appeared.

It was a revelation that my nervous system couldn’t handle the energy of the environment created by the motivational speaker, but 20 years ago I thought I wanted to be him. Now I realize you can make an impact quietly.

Friday, I met a friend for coffee and on the drive over I asked myself if there were any problems in my life that needed to be resolved. The only thing that came to mind was that morning catching the dog with his head in the litter box, eating cat poop. He knew that was not acceptable as soon as he was caught, so that problem had passed. I shared this with my friend and we had a hearty laugh.

Finding people to love and to be loved is connecting with the chosen few who align with your kind of weirdness.

I’m making shifts, creating space, and purchased a book of blank pages to write the next chapter. I’m officially letting go of Letitgocoach, but continue to write. Letitgocoach became a name that others knew me by, but there’s no desire to fill those shoes. It was something I had to prove to myself that I could get certified and did, only to place another check mark on the ‘done’ list.

When I talk with people in my life today, they say, “Tell me about Barb’s world”, and I smile. I’ve been writing on that WordPress site, but want to share with you…I’m letting go of who I was thought to be, and to simply be. Thank you for your love and kind words of support through the years.

You are welcome to join me Inbarbsworld.

The Next Chapter

It’s Own Time

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I bought a flat of impatient’s for the flower cart. It surprised the cashier when I sat the entire tray on the counter, and it surprised me too. I didn’t plan on planting many flowers this year, but plans change. The flower cart can hold a flat, or full tray, and they’re beautiful to see, but now I have 48 little impatient’s, patiently waiting to be planted. 😍

My God is sneaky. He knew I wouldn’t be able to look at an empty flower cart for long.

This week, I rearranged my bedroom, and moving the bed is always an adventure. It was pretty dusty under there, and I’ve written about it here. My daughter and I each have a long, rolling storage container for off season clothing under the bed. They had sat side by side with a small gap in between and captured all of the cat’s jingle balls. That’s a score!

Once the bed was moved, I had a semi empty wall. The artwork looked scattered, so I moved two pieces to fill the empty spaces. It all lined up perfectly, so I could see that was not my doing. On my best day I couldn’t do that, without scattering holes over the wall. This was seamless and took no effort. It’s like they’re resting on an invisible wall length shelf.

Local artist Rachel Brown. 💖

The wall of art gives an immediate feeling of calm and centered. I could add more art above this row, but that’s how it is with me. God lays it out perfectly, and I want to tweak it, but this time there’s nothing to tweak. And Dawn, when you read this you’ll know, the wall of art we spoke about in our letters, fell into place all in it’s own time.

From the post, ‘Just Say Yes.‘ Artist ~ Mrs. M

Do It Now

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The quote in the feature photo was sitting at the bottom of the page of my momentum plug-in. Everyday it shows some type of inspiration in big, bold letters on the page, but recently I’ve been steadying my gaze toward the quote at the bottom. It’s smaller font, but has more of an impact.

My week off was spent slowing down a little each day. By Thursday, I felt completely relaxed, yet attentive. On Wednesday my daughter told me I looked more like myself than I had in months. I took some time to ponder gift giving and my favorite type gift to give is something I’ve used and loved. It can be anything such as a candle, a book, or a chocolate bar that was more an emotional experience than a piece of chocolate should be.

I’ve been ordering small items this week with each person in mind. I don’t know if this would be considered early holiday shopping, or if you purchased your gifts months ago, but for me it’s early and feels right. I usually wait until closer to Thanksgiving, but as I Googled each item and placed it in the cart, that still small voice within was saying, ‘Do it now.’

I didn’t wait for a Black Friday sale, or combine all the gifts for free shipping, though some offered it. Each cost less than $20, but big and bold doesn’t equate to meaningful in my world. Love tends to arrive in small packages and will spread to take up every square inch it’s offered. This feels more intentional than previous years, and there’s an element of ease.

I haven’t found the ‘right’, or ‘perfect’ time for anything of worth, but in the past I’ve waited for better timing and it evolved into missed opportunity. Some believe timing is everything, and it’s celebratory when our timing aligns with a divine plan. This year is coming to a close my darling, so whatever you’re meant to do, do it now.

Calm Amid the Chaos

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In Fire and Rain I was on a mission to find the perfect bench for the firepit area. The bench purchase was a little outside my comfort zone, but I wanted to enhance the sanctuary vibe encompassed by the yard. Well…Tada!

Once the bench was in place, I wanted a little table, or outdoor pouf to sit between the chair and bench. This is the worst time of year to find outdoor furniture, but I drove to all my favorite stores to see my options. Instead of furniture I saw stacks of unopened boxes of Christmas trees. 😮

The table in the photo was at Target, in the Magnolia section with no price tag. (There’s 3 things right there that scare my wallet.) I found an employee to scan it for me, and when she told me the price, I laughed out loud, and exited the store. The next morning the table was still on my mind, but I continued to Google ‘outdoor side table’. I saw one at Urban Outfitters that looked similar, but with shipping it would cost more than the one at Target, so I followed my heart back to Target and gave the table a home.

This entire process brought up the thought of ‘what a year can do’. There’s a noticeable difference in what the yard looks like now compared to last year, but it took an entire year to get it here. We want immediate change, but lasting change occurs gradually over time. I wouldn’t have made these furniture choices a year ago, but I’ve been pondering the possibilities for months. It’s a foundational start, but more time will pass before it’s complete.


I don’t invite people to my home very often, but this year I want them to feel invited in. This space was created to connect and soak up some calm amid the chaos.

Here’s all of the posts about creating spaces:

Wide Open Spaces, Fire and Rain, In My Corner, and Spaces to Grow.


Leaving the Throne

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It was one year ago I saw her post with a picture of the ragged bible and went looking for my Bible. It was sitting on a shelf of books collecting dust, but it had a cover on it which I wrote about here. This year, I took the protective cover off in hopes that it would begin to look used. Let’s just say it’s been a process.

When I brought it down from the shelf, I laid it on the windowsill and I picked it up every now and then to read. It got moved from the windowsill to the bedside table. This table is on the far side of the bed, so basically it laid in a corner. I’d wake up and gaze at that Bible seeming so far away, but not completely out of reach.

I’d grab my phone and do a meditation instead.

A while ago, the Bible made it to the table on my side of the bed. When I sit up in the morning, I still grab my phone, but I grab the Bible along with it. I look at Instagram to see if this same woman with the ragged Bible from a year ago has posted a verse to read. She calls it a ‘Faith Read’ and posts the chapter and verse.

In my previous post, my daughter loved the picture of the woman sitting on the pier. It is a beautiful photo, but I found it on Google. I dug up the photo below and this was my pier. I stood there almost every morning, waiting to see the sunrise and to praise and worship God. This pier got me through everything life threw.

This pier is where God showed up every time I did.

Not quite as blissful looking as Google’s.

While driving into town, I heard a song on the radio. It was an old Philips, Craig and Dean song and it took me back to this pier. It was the song I sang when I wasn’t feeling the whole ‘just show up’ thing. You are God alone, gives me peace and comfort in knowing no matter what we see today, He is still on the throne, and He’s not leaving the throne.

Just Two Minutes

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That’s what we would say to a colleague. I need just two minutes of your time. Of course, there was no timer set, so it turned into a 30 minute brain storming session.

Like my Blogger friend, Still a Dreamer, today’s circumstances are not really affecting me. I’ve worked from home the past 10 years, so yes…make it mandatory that I stay home. I’ll just read and write!

woman sitting while reading a book
Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com. Self Isolation. 

There are many that their world has turned upside down. I don’t have a house full of kids, or a husband home. (God be with you)

This morning I offered to make my daughter a cup of tea. She asked that I set the timer for two minutes and periodically steep the tea bag inside the cup.

I had to stand still for this and chose to gaze out the window. A male and female Cardinal were digging through the leaves looking for seed. I made a mental note to put some more out in the yard for them.

In a blink, the timer rang and two minutes had passed. Instead of looking at the whole day ahead, which can be overwhelming, break it down into a few minutes.

Set a timer and make yourself a cup of tea. Stand still, taking in your surroundings, and soak up those minutes. Breathe and make an announcement, I just need two minutes.

Repeat as often as needed.