Oh Sugar Sugar

Looking in the mirror this morning, my face has a healthy glow. My eyes are clear and my heart is happy to have spent three days at the beach.

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Padre Island

Getting back to normal life I was ready to smell something good. They sell Swan Creek Candles in Texas, so it’s a little odd I bought these at the beach, but I’ve never seen this particular one before. It called my name.

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A good pink, glitter and that name!

Our hallway smells amazing!

Oh, sugar sugar. I love sweets, but my daughter tells me, “Cancer loves sugar!”, so I’m mindful of intake. Just because I’m careful by not eating too much, doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy it. I’m happy with pictures of it!

sugar

Spending time at the beach shed new light. I see change in store, but for now join me in the delightment of oh sugar sugar.

Call Me Katniss

I want to share a Blog with you.

I’ve followed this woman for years, and she has no idea the impact she’s had on my life. I found her during my Breast Cancer Journey, but she was ahead of me. Reading her posts gave me an idea of what to expect. Then, she just sopped writing.

She took a two year break.

She returned this year, and so did Cancer.

Her post this morning revealed her hair falling out from the Chemo. That is a feeling that doesn’t leave. You wake up to a pillow covered in hair, and head straight to the shower, but then the water hits your head, and the hair continues falling out, clinging to your dampened skin like plastic wrap.

It’s horrendous! The shower doesn’t wash it away!

I feel like she needs some love today.

I don’t think she’s ever responded to my comments, so don’t be offended if your comment receives no reply. She doesn’t have many followers, but her writing is wrapped in beauty. Let’s take a moment, and wrap our virtual arms around Call Me Katniss.

PS. You can also click here to view her Blog.

Once is Enough

Last week, I deleted my Facebook account.

It’s been on my heart to do so all year. One of those last things to ‘let go’ of. The key to doing something like this, and be filled with peace afterwards, is to do it a non emotional state. Sitting calmly in front of my laptop, staring at the number of followers, I let go, and clicked deactivate.

Two weeks ago, I almost got myself fired from my job.

One of my virtual assistant employers asked if I would receive their incoming calls, and I agreed. They were forwarded to a cell phone, and it took a couple of weeks to discover why they wanted them forwarded. It was like politely fencing with a sales person every time the phone would ring. By week three I was done taking those calls.

My salary might decrease, but my joy will increase!

13-Motivational-QUotes

It’s okay to let go of things that are no longer fulfilling.

What do I want to do to bring in income? I’m not sure, but I’m staying open to whatever God has in store. He’s good at signs, and sometimes he has them printed out on neon paper, and hangs it on a door. That occurred last week.

There was a ‘help wanted’ sign on the door of a local drugstore I walked into. I’ve never thought about working at a drugstore before, but it makes sense. The people coming in there want to feel better. Maybe they are going through a Cancer journey of their own, and I can relate.

I don’t know the reason, but I responded to the sign.

I filled out an application, and they called the next day for an interview. The only real experience I have is customer service, and I care about people. It’s been 30 years since I ran a cash register, and they look a tad bit different today!

I’m excited about doing a job I’ve never done, and plugging into community! The application process has been lengthy, but God keeps nudging me along. I’m encouraged that it hasn’t been easy, but it’s moving quick. I’m just waiting for the papers to go through, and they will give me a start date.

I told my daughter this morning, “Here I am again, living in the unknown.” The unknown is beginning to feel normal.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

 

Update-I didn’t take the job. Sometimes God just wants us to walk through the door in obedience.  I’m willing to walk through every door, but it doesn’t mean I have to stay.

Sow Some Seeds (Part 3)

What resonated with you in yesterday’s post?

My daughter’s favorite part is, “I will live as all good actors do when they are on stage-only in the moment. I cannot perform at my best today by regretting my previous act’s mistakes or worrying about the scene to come.”

My favorite is, “I will embrace today’s difficult tasks, take off my coat, and make dust in the world.” Make dust in the world. Let’s replace dust with ‘glitter’, because that is why I’m here. To sprinkle some glitter over someone’s day.

Here are today’s seeds:

I will remain aware of how little it takes to make this a happy day. Never will I pursue happiness, because it is not a goal, just a by-product, and there is no happiness in having or in getting, only in giving.

We are designed to live happy lives. If we sit in stillness, and devoid outside interference, we find happiness. It’s when we allow people, places and things to influence our surroundings that happiness becomes more difficult to see and feel. We don’t pursue happiness. It’s in our hearts.

I will run from no danger I might encounter today, because I am certain that nothing will happen to me that I am not equipped to handle with your help. Just as any gem is polished by friction, I am certain to become more valuable through this day’s adversities, and if you close one door, you always open another for me.

Trusting God. I didn’t want to go through Chemo last year. It went against everything I believed in! Every doctor confirmed it was the best route to stop the Cancer growth, and then shrink it down for removal. There is a saying out there that says, “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.” Today, I compare every obstacle to Chemo.

I didn’t know I could get through it until I did.

We are called Diamonds for a reason. There is polishing through adversity. We can go it alone, in our own free will, or follow God.

Living God’s Best

I ran into a friend yesterday, and she asked, “Are you okay?” She had a look of concern on her face, and I assured her that I was. She had read my Blog about the Cancer scare, and wanted to make sure I was all good. She is not the only friend that wasn’t sure, so let’s see if I can be more clear.

What we go through in life is a test of some sort.

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I don’t believe there is Cancer in my breast. The technician wasn’t sure what she was seeing during the sonogram, so I had the films sent to my Oncologist who knows my history. He didn’t see anything concerning, but wants to see my next film in six months. I’m not worried, so don’t you be either!

God used that situation to reach the right people, and I now have really good health insurance!

In March, or April of next year, I will have another mammogram, and have faith for God’s best. Since walking out of the imaging center a month ago, I have made life changes, and am still making them. When God shows me His best, I want to give Him my best in return. The entire incident brought this to the forefront of my mind.

“What do I want my life to look in six months? Am I living God’s best?”

Feel the Music

This song came to mind as I was driving to my mammogram appointment Thursday.

As I mentioned in “Test of Faith“, Seymour saw me as ‘suffering in silence’, during the Chemo part of my Breast Cancer Journey. I did get quiet during The Red Devil part, but I want to assure you, I saw every message, email, and text come into my phone.

It was laying on the bed beside me, and would sometimes wake me up with the vibration.

My daughter’s bedroom is across the hall, and I heard her playing this song, as it floated across into my room. Those last two doses of Red Devil had me under a spell, and this song described exactly how I felt physically.

In the song, he is talking about leaving/dying, which I knew I wasn’t, but I was thinking. “This has got to be what dying feels like.”

It’s not that we want to be alone, and thanks to you, we don’t feel alone. I would pick up my phone, and look at it with one eye closed, trying to focus on the screen, but it hurt my eyes. I could see, and feel the love, but could not physically respond for several days.

Friends were reaching out, but I couldn’t respond.

I dedicate this song to the loved ones that want to help, but don’t know how. Your presence is known, even if it’s not acknowledged. We’re just soggy from the Chemo.

PS. Twenty-One Pilots remade this song as a tribute to ‘My Chemical Romance’, who is the original artist.