Looking in the mirror this morning, my face has a healthy glow. My eyes are clear and my heart is happy to have spent three days at the beach.
Getting back to normal life I was ready to smell something good. They sell Swan Creek Candles in Texas, so it’s a little odd I bought these at the beach, but I’ve never seen this particular one before. It called my name.
A good pink, glitter and that name!
Our hallway smells amazing!
Oh, sugar sugar. I love sweets, but my daughter tells me, “Cancer loves sugar!”, so I’m mindful of intake. Just because I’m careful by not eating too much, doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy it. I’m happy with pictures of it!
Spending time at the beach shed new light. I see change in store, but for now join me in the delightment of oh sugar sugar.
I’ve followed this woman for years, and she has no idea the impact she’s had on my life. I found her during my Breast Cancer Journey, but she was ahead of me. Reading her posts gave me an idea of what to expect. Then, she just sopped writing.
She took a two year break.
She returned this year, and so did Cancer.
Her post this morning revealed her hair falling out from the Chemo. That is a feeling that doesn’t leave. You wake up to a pillow covered in hair, and head straight to the shower, but then the water hits your head, and the hair continues falling out, clinging to your dampened skin like plastic wrap.
It’s horrendous! The shower doesn’t wash it away!
I feel like she needs some love today.
I don’t think she’s ever responded to my comments, so don’t be offended if your comment receives no reply. She doesn’t have many followers, but her writing is wrapped in beauty. Let’s take a moment, and wrap our virtual arms around Call Me Katniss.
It’s been on my heart to do so all year. One of those last things to ‘let go’ of. The key to doing something like this, and be filled with peace afterwards, is to do it a non emotional state. Sitting calmly in front of my laptop, staring at the number of followers, I let go, and clicked deactivate.
Two weeks ago, I almost got myself fired from my job.
One of my virtual assistant employers asked if I would receive their incoming calls, and I agreed. They were forwarded to a cell phone, and it took a couple of weeks to discover why they wanted them forwarded. It was like politely fencing with a sales person every time the phone would ring. By week three I was done taking those calls.
My salary might decrease, but my joy will increase!
It’s okay to let go of things that are no longer fulfilling.
What do I want to do to bring in income? I’m not sure, but I’m staying open to whatever God has in store. He’s good at signs, and sometimes he has them printed out on neon paper, and hangs it on a door. That occurred last week.
There was a ‘help wanted’ sign on the door of a local drugstore I walked into. I’ve never thought about working at a drugstore before, but it makes sense. The people coming in there want to feel better. Maybe they are going through a Cancer journey of their own, and I can relate.
I don’t know the reason, but I responded to the sign.
I filled out an application, and they called the next day for an interview. The only real experience I have is customer service, and I care about people. It’s been 30 years since I ran a cash register, and they look a tad bit different today!
I’m excited about doing a job I’ve never done, and plugging into community! The application process has been lengthy, but God keeps nudging me along. I’m encouraged that it hasn’t been easy, but it’s moving quick. I’m just waiting for the papers to go through, and they will give me a start date.
I told my daughter this morning, “Here I am again, living in the unknown.” The unknown is beginning to feel normal.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
My daughter’s favorite part is, “I will live as all good actors do when they are on stage-only in the moment. I cannot perform at my best today by regretting my previous act’s mistakes or worrying about the scene to come.”
My favorite is, “I will embrace today’s difficult tasks, take off my coat, and make dust in the world.” Make dust in the world. Let’s replace dust with ‘glitter’, because that is why I’m here. To sprinkle some glitter over someone’s day.
Here are today’s seeds:
I will remain aware of how little it takes to make this a happy day. Never will I pursue happiness, because it is not a goal, just a by-product, and there is no happiness in having or in getting, only in giving.
We are designed to live happy lives. If we sit in stillness, and devoid outside interference, we find happiness. It’s when we allow people, places and things to influence our surroundings that happiness becomes more difficult to see and feel. We don’t pursue happiness. It’s in our hearts.
I will run from no danger I might encounter today, because I am certain that nothing will happen to me that I am not equipped to handle with your help. Just as any gem is polished by friction, I am certain to become more valuable through this day’s adversities, and if you close one door, you always open another for me.
Trusting God. I didn’t want to go through Chemo last year. It went against everything I believed in! Every doctor confirmed it was the best route to stop the Cancer growth, and then shrink it down for removal. There is a saying out there that says, “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.” Today, I compare every obstacle to Chemo.
I didn’t know I could get through until I did.
We are called Diamonds for a reason. There is polishing through adversity. We can go it alone, in our own free will, or follow God. The choice is easy, but oh that wild ride!
I ran into a friend yesterday, and she asked, “Are you okay?” She had a look of concern on her face, and I assured her that I was. She had read my Blog about the Cancer scare, and wanted to make sure I was all good. She is not the only friend that wasn’t sure, so let’s see if I can be more clear.
A lot of what we go through in life is a test of some sort.
I don’t believe there is Cancer in my breast. The technician wasn’t sure what she was seeing during the sonogram, so I had the films sent to my Oncologist who knows my history. He didn’t see anything concerning, but wants to see my next film in six months. I’m not worried, so don’t you be either!
God used that situation to reach the right people, and I now have really good health insurance! WooHoo!
In March, or April of next year, I will have another mammogram, and have faith for God’s best. Since walking out of the imaging center a month ago, I have made life changes, and am still making them. When God shows me His best, I want to give Him my best in return. The entire incident brought this to the forefront of my mind. “What do I want my life to look in six months? Am I living God’s best?”
My daughter has left to go visit her Father, so let the weekend begin! Let’s see how long it takes her to realize, she left her favorite CD’s in the CD player at home. Thank you Darling!
As she drove away, I turned on the stereo to listen to this song I’ve been bingeing on for a month. You can hear it on Feel the Music. This song soothes me even though it makes the house vibrate. Gotta love a good stereo, and sub woofer.
This weekend I am taking a social media fast. Social Media and I have had a long loved, and unloved relationship. It has been good for me, and not so good. Spending the weekends, doing whatever I wanna, the timing feels right to take this break. Will let you know next week what it taught me.
Life has a lot to do with timing, and expectations. They are our teachers. I have high expectations for myself, but realize everyone’s expectations vary. We can be our own worst enemy, so my weekends are spent being extra kind to myself.
Something social media has given me are Memes. Friends tease me about my life being one, big Meme. I love them, and will eventually make a Meme compiled with all my favorite quotes, but I almost allowed a complete stranger turn me against them altogether. This happened a year ago.
Searching for Memes to post on Letitgocoach Facebook page, I was becoming burned out over seeing the same ones. There had to be better, and more, is what I felt in my heart. I found an online software that was free, and user-friendly, and began making my own, like the one above.
My heart was right, but I had no clue what I was doing. All I knew was, they should be pretty, and say something that you don’t see everyday. Looking for Memes to share, there were times the saying was almost what I wanted, but not quite. Or, I would find the perfect one, and it would have a typo in it.
This online software was not the best, or the most popular to use, but it was simple. It had limited choices for font, and pics. It didn’t stop me though. Between my daughter’s photography, and Google, I could find pics. The software provided freedom to share whatever I felt led to share, but they didn’t look like ordinary Memes. Here’s one of the first.
One of my favorite meditative readings is a book by Melodie Beattie entitled, “Journey to the Heart: Daily meditations on the Path to Freedom.” Googling quotes from the book, pulled up very few Memes, but that is what I wanted to share. It wasn’t going to change the world, but it could make a difference. Then, in walked the stranger with my lesson.
My Facebook page was growing, and this guy that owns a couple of pages decided he would help me out. He sent a message, and here it is copied and pasted in it’s original format. His personal info has been omitted for anonymity. “If I may suggest, your messages are great, just need to work little on your images. Use picmonkey for editing images Pixabay for images and pintrest for free fonts and quotes.”
I thanked him for his advice, and did more research. Was his comment discouraging, or encouraging? I saw it as both.
Having done research beforehand, I knew of his suggestions, and they were not what I wanted. The one I was using was simple, and had everything right there, it just needed to offer more. Recently, I went back to his pages to see if his style had changed, and it had. The Memes were all black and white.
One year later, and full circle. Looking through SC Lourie’s journal, and wanting to share. I pulled up the Meme software to see if they had made any changes, or if it still existed. There it was with many new enhancements. It just took time. They know they have a good thing going, but they also know it can always be better. The one above is for my new Blog.
It’s not about being perfect, or pleasing other people. It’s about what makes YOU happy. Learning to take constructive criticism is a work in progress, but it makes me want to do better, and be the best I can be. Making memes is fun, and it’s one of the best, and free ways to advertise who you are.
Just for grins, I Googled Letitgocoach, clicked on images, and there they are! A lot of what has been posted here, or used on Letitgocoach Facebook is displayed on Google. Even some of the early ones! (slight cringe) Well, here ya go Google. Latch onto one of my faves! Much love lovelies!
This song came to mind as I was driving to my mammogram appointment Thursday.
As I mentioned in “Test of Faith“, Seymour saw me as ‘suffering in silence’, during the Chemo part of my Breast Cancer Journey. I did get quiet during The Red Devil part, but I want to assure you, I saw every message, email, and text come into my phone. It was laying on the bed beside me, and would sometimes wake me up from the vibration of love.
My daughter’s bedroom is across the hall, and I heard her playing this song, as it floated across into my room. Those last two doses of Red Devil had me under a spell, and this song described exactly how I felt physically. In the song, he is talking about leaving/dying, which I knew I wasn’t, but I was thinking. “This is what it feels like when people die.”
It’s not that we want to be alone, and thanks to you, we don’t feel alone. I would pick up my phone, and look at it with one eye closed, trying to focus on the screen, but it hurt my eyes. I could see, and feel the love, but could not physically respond for several days.
Thank you for the love, as I laid there and let God fight my battle.
I dedicate this song to the loved ones that want to help, but don’t know how. Your presence is known, even if it’s not acknowledged. We’re just soggy from the Chemo.
PS. Twenty-One Pilots remade this song as a tribute to ‘My Chemical Romance’, who is the original artist.