Calling Myself Out

I wrote a Blog lastnight thinking I would publish it this morning. It was everything I wanted to say at the moment. When I pulled it up today, I thought it needed some help.

Sometimes I make life more difficult than it should be.

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I love being in a New Year. I look at it as 365 new opportunities. Every new day, brings new possibilities. To stretch myself, I want to write a Blog a day. Now, a lot of writers do this in January, so it’s no big deal. When you write what’s on your heart, you must believe God is going to put something there to write about each day. This morning, He gave me three!

I had the one from yesterday poised to be published, and He put two more on my heart as I was driving to Radiation. Getting ready and out the door early every morning has turned into a very sweet time for me. I almost changed my appointment time for tomorrow, so I wouldn’t be so rushed, but I didn’t want to miss out. God is using that time for His Glory.

When I was going through Chemo, it was rough being a writer. A friend asked me the other day if I wrote much during that phase. No…I did not. My mind was full of things to write, but I couldn’t get them to a page. That darling Chemo brain was a challenge for sure, but I am grateful that has passed. Now, if I can just let these Blogs flow, and stay out of the way.

Just like the Blog I wrote lastnight. I felt an urge to post it, but I have never posted two Blogs in one day. You’ve heard the expression, “Use it or lose it?” That is what happens.

If I don’t use it as soon as God puts it on my heart, I will mess with it until it loses all validity. This is my year to Speak Your Heart. I will trust God to fill it, and let it flow.

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Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, and loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of this year that she has Breast Cancer. She has completed Chemo, and is starting Radiation. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

A Better Life~Day Two

Early to bed, and early to rise has been my trend recently. I’m diggin’ it. There is nothing like watching God run His paintbrush across this Texas sky first thing in the morning.

I did this series a year ago, under the category, “A Better Way To Live.” My daughter was wondering why I was doing it again. Reading the ones I wrote from a year ago, my writing has changed a good bit. Those barely skim the surface of the topic, so I see where today, my writing goes deeper, and is more heartfelt. It needs to go deeper still, but I’m getting there.

Suggestion #2.

Today, and every day, deliver more than you are getting paid to do. The victory of success will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable in your work that eventually you will become indispensable. Exercise your privilege to go the extra mile, and enjoy all the rewards you receive. You deserve them!

We all go through a dry season with our jobs. I have a part-time job that allows me to work from home three days a week. My boss, who is also a friend of mine for the past 15 years, is easy to work with. He knows I’m going through Chemo, and is very accommodating to the days I don’t have a brain. You have to have a brain to do this job. I’m customer service to Day Traders.

I’m very grateful for this job for many reasons. It allows me to work remotely, and I get to choose my schedule. If I want to travel, I pack up my laptop and go. The job has been kinda dry lately, and not very challenging. At first, I got frustrated with the monotony, but then God showed me the blessing in that. It doesn’t take a lot of thought to do the job well.

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I changed my attitude, and saw the blessing of the job being simpler than normal right now.

Today I can do my job with excellence, and be grateful for what it is. I believe where suggestion two fits in is more toward my writing. I write for God. Even though I don’t see a physical paycheck for writing, my rewards are worth far more than money. He rewards me everyday in the little things that make my heart soar. My every need is met and then some.

My love is writing, but my job brings reliable income. Writing occurs when my heart is so full, it has to flow onto a page. It’s not planned, or scheduled…it just happens. I have several posts sitting in a draft folder where I had to write it out, but didn’t publish. The more I pour out of my heart, the larger the space I have to be filled with more love.

God gave me this job years ago so I could stay at home, and home-school my daughter. He knew I would leave my marriage, and my daughter and I would need each other afterwards.

She has pretty much taught herself high school, and this gave me the opportunity to write. I saw a quote once that said, “Your story could be the key that unlocks someone else’s prison.”That is my hope. That you will find something here that feels like a key to your prison door. If God can work through me to do that, then that will be reward enough for me.

Barbara is a God follower, a Writer, and Mom to her 17-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Part of her mission is to show people they can start over at 50. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

Not My Plan

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I have so enjoyed my three week break from Chemo. It caused me to be pensive, and think about what I want to do next. Yes, I know by now, my plans are not necessarily His plans.

Did I plan on getting a divorce 3 years ago? Better yet, did I plan on my marriage becoming unrecognizable 15 years in, and me staying an additional 10? No, that was not my plan.

Did I plan on moving to the country with my daughter when she turned 13, and raising her alone? Nope. That wasn’t my plan either.

Did I plan on being diagnosed with Breast Cancer near the beginning of 2016, and spend a year focused on that? Well, that was not my plan, but maybe my worst nightmare.

You know what? All these things, and more, have put me exactly where I need to be.

Catching glimpses of my new self during this break, I often pondered what I would be like with Chemo completely out of my system. The doctor assured me there would be no lasting effects of Chemo Brain. My mind would clear back up, once the Chemo was gone.

My daughter says, “You may not be as physically strong as you once were, but you have a new strength.” The physical strength will be simple enough to get back, once this journey is complete. I enjoy that she noticed the new inner strength.

Everything we go through in this life, takes a certain measure of strength. Where I get into trouble is depending on my own strength to get me through. That doesn’t work very well.

God wants us to depend on Him, and pull from His strength. I can feel the difference, and I would much rather trust, and rely on Him to pull me through. Just like trying to plan my life. I can look at what He has given me, writing being one, and use it to the best of my ability.

Allowing myself to be used by Him through my writing is even better. That is when my plan, coincides with His plan, and my options are endless. Let’s roll with that plan.

That Chemo Brain

I haven’t posted anything in a while. Having thoughts, and getting them from my mind, to the page, is similar to herding cats. Being a writer, that loves to write? This was frustrating.

I’ve come to relax. It is safer for everyone I love. What used to flow from my heart through my hands, is now literally pecking one sentence, or thought, at a time. They call it Chemo Brain, and I fought it for a long time. I should be able to do, say, and think like I normally would before Chemo, right? Tomorrow will be my 10th treatment, so no. Everything is new.

I’ve attempted some crazy stuff during Chemo, like mowing my yard that sits in Texas. Tasks I took for granted became insurmountable. Being the poster child for Overthinkers Anonymous, I didn’t want Chemo Brain. If someone asks you what you want for dinner, and you can’t figure that out, you probably shouldn’t be operating machinery with sharp blades.

Be encouraged my warrior, because Chemo has it’s perks. Early on in this journey, I documented, “Things I Love (Thanks to Chemo).” You may be having toxins pumped into your body, but the outer shell is looking good. My eyes are bright, and clear, and that shower is down to 5 minutes. No more shaving because your body is hairless from head to toe.

You have this healthy glow, but I’m guessing it’s because my insides are glowing. One of the most difficult things for me to embrace, was the mindlessness. I’m quiet a lot. Mainly because the thoughts go by before I can converse. If they give me too much steroid with my treatment, you don’t wanna hear my thoughts. Steroids help fight the disease, but I have heard they turn me into an ass. You learn really quick who loves you the day after Chemo.

The best part is, this is only temporary. Everything my body is going through will pass. It’s all part of the fight. I saw a quote and posted it to my Letigocoach Facebook page. “The best cure for the body is a quiet mind.”-Napoleon Bonaparte. Well, my mind is pretty quiet, so heal away body. God will bring me through this better than before. For now, I can be quiet.

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Barbara is a Writer, Certified Letting Go Coach, and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. She found out in March of this year that she has Breast Cancer. Going through Chemo, and believing God for a miracle is where she stands. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com