Plug Into Life

I’m really trying to plug into this little community.

That means leaving the house, and making myself visible.

After moving here, my daughter announced, “Hey Mom. You can always go hang out with the bikers on the weekends!”

Now, it’s one of my favorite things to do. A restaurant called Rolling Thunder Roadhouse is less than a mile from my home, and I go there often to sit and read, or engage in conversation. The owner’s Roger and Donna have pretty much adopted me.

Roger is a French Chef, and his wife Donna has done a little bit of everything. We had an instant connection, plus, they make the best cold brew coffee!

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Cold brew and Chocolate Biscotti. On my way!

When my daughter and I moved here in January, I was pondering what should come with me. Do I really want to continue doing everything this year, that I had been doing last year? Was it a fruitful path?

I had a job offer last week. It would still be working from home, but the company would have their calls forwarded for me to answer the calls. The owner knows I have phone skills, and will pay good money for them. A friend of mine busted out laughing when I told her my initial response.

I don’t know. I think I want to harvest seeds from the Hydrangea flower, and grow them to sell to my neighbors.

The company didn’t really have a response to that. 🙂

Do I want to continue Blogging? That has been the big question this year. I’ve posted more this week, than I posted the entire month of April. January through April, I posted one a week, and that used to be daily, so there’s progress.

Maybe I will go see Roger and Donna this morning, and take a book I’ve been reading with me. It’s a gorgeous day outside, and I just want to be out there, instead of in here.

It’s time to unplug from the computer, and plug into life.

Letting Go of One Connection, for Another

Some days require a do-over. The dogs were up way too early. I hadn’t had enough coffee to deal with their playfulness. I let them get some of their energy out, and in their houses they went. It was that easy to find some peace.

I drove down to the corner store to grab a cup of coffee. Walking in, I notice a table full of people. They are usually there in the mornings, and this brought a smile to my face. We said our, “Good mornings”, as I took a look at their table.

There were no cell phones in sight. The newspaper was opened to the crossword puzzle, like it was a team effort to fill it in. They were laughing, talking, and enjoying time together.

As I was walking toward the door to exit, an elderly man walked in and said, “Good Morning Ms. Barbara.” I gave him a hug, and he grunted like I squeezed him too hard.

Getting into my truck, I spot two women on horses. They are prancing through the grass in front of the Post Office. I wished I had my phone to take a picture, but it was at home.

Once I returned home, I drank my coffee, and called a friend. We spent an hour talking, and making a game plan for the week. We are meeting tomorrow to implement some small changes in her life to regain her independence.

I let the dogs outside, and stood on the porch. It was almost time to drench the Boston Ferns. They are ginormous! Denver, one of our dogs, acted like he was listening intently to something. I could barely hear a woman’s voice, and then I heard two women talking. It was the women on horses!

They came to a halt, and turned the horses around, bringing them up to stand by my front yard gate. What a beautiful sight. They said, “Good Morning! We love your ferns. They are huge!” I smiled and thanked them for their kindness. They asked if I rode, and I told them, “Yes. I used to.” They said, “We have one more horse that needs a rider if you’re interested.” I laughed, thanked them, and will ponder it.

Life is happening right in front of us, and I am connected.

 

Shades of Pink

Once my daughter painted her room, it prompted a change in mine. My bedroom is already a color, and it’s a pleasant neutral, so this is not a need. It’s been a slow burning want.

My favorite color has always been Red, but I surprised myself.

Walking into my room with two paint samples. One was a good, solid red, and the other was a pale version of red. After trying each on the wall, I chose the softer one. It feels good.

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Courtesy of Shades of Pink

This morning, this photo came up on my Facebook news feed.

It was posted by one of my favorite pages called Shades of Pink. I have settled into no social media apps on my phone. Checking it via laptop a couple of times a day is sufficient.

Melody Beattie’s words that resonated today are:

“Stay open to every opportunity.” (Doing that)

“If you’re tired, rest. If you’re sad, cry.” (Did that)

“Let destiny have it’s way with you.” (Thought-provoking)

Right before falling asleep lastnight, I read this. “Maybe that relationship that made you doubt yourself so much came along to help you learn to listen to and trust your inner voice.

I’m not bold Red. Presently, I am various Shades of Pink.

I Bled Out

A few months ago, my daughter said, “You’re always staring at that phone!” She looks at hers too, but mainly to connect with friends. I was checking all my Social Media accounts.

Something was going to change, and it was me.

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I’ve done pretty much the same thing the past few years.

I’m finding balance between people and technology.

Is the phone a tool, or a lifeline?

It helps us stay connected to those we love, but I became loved out. I allowed my phone to be shut off for 3 weeks, and I didn’t miss it. The only thing I missed was calling my sister, and hearing her voice. I even printed out some of my Blogs, and mailed them to her to let her see what I’ve been doing.

I’m learning to live without my phone. Why did I turn it back on? My landlord tried contacting me, and when I didn’t respond, he was worried something was wrong. I told him it was shut off, and he couldn’t fathom it.

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This is our kitten and his name is John Cena.

My daughter named him, and it’s fun yelling JOHHHHHHN CEEEEENA all day. He knows his name, and walks into view when we call him. Unless, he is asleep somewhere.

He isn’t allowed in our bedrooms, but yesterday, I was sitting in bed, writing in a journal, and dozed off. When I awoke, John Cena was not only in my room, but in my bed! His paws wrapped around my ankle, and using my bare foot as his pillow. I just sat there wishing I had my phone to snap a pic.

My daughter said, “It’s a good thing you had your phone in the bed, so you could snap that pic.” I didn’t have my phone. Luckily, John stayed put while I found it. I bought my daughter a small plaque that says, “I love you more than my phone.” It feels good to say that, but even better to feel it.

These Two Worlds

If I sit in the presence of Mr. Smith long enough, the conversation tends to grow deep. Not from me, but from him. I listen, become more quiet, until no words can form. I feel it.

This morning, we were sitting on the back porch, coffee in hand, watching Stork fly in over the lake. I feel a sense of peace when I see Stork. He has always revealed I am in a safe space. This morning, I felt my layers being peeled back one by one, and it was a gentle process. Smith was pointing out how I visit on the weekend, and then I pack up and leave.

I have two lives. The one with Smith on the weekends, and the one with my daughter during the week. My daughter visits some, but that is all it looks like is a weekend visit. My heart is torn between these two worlds.

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Smith has never loved me like I imagined I would be loved. He loves me better.

This morning was one of those times where he gently dug down to the heart of the matter. No more skimming over the surface, and the end result was a feeling of rawness. I thought I was holding it together pretty well, living this double life. But, I don’t have to ‘hold it all together’ anymore.

It’s always been my daughter, and me. Even when I was married to her father, it was really just the two of us. There comes a time where you don’t know which way is home. I have two houses, but which one is home?

Bringing three lives together, and enjoying one life. People say it’s a hard thing to do, but from where I sit, it’s harder not to.

Enjoy the Beauty

When I was a child, I would watch my Mother dust the bottom of our furniture. The legs of every chair, and up underneath the piece. It was very odd, and I swore I would never do that!

My daughter saved a baby lizard the other night from his doom. It was stuck up under a chair, so she released him, and took him outside. It was a mystery to me how he was stuck, and then she told me he was in a cobweb.

That is when I remembered what Mother dusting the cobwebs. Have you noticed they come around right before Halloween?

Just like the cobwebs are a sign of the changing season, I made a lot of changes to my environment over the past few days. My little dog wasn’t sure about them though. The first thing I noticed was his behavior around the furniture being moved in the den. His main concern was his rug was now moved.

What’s funny is, I moved the rug with him in mind.

We have hard wood floors, which is another reason for the cobwebs. No carpet to hide in. My little dog Mochee doesn’t like laying on the hard wood, so he has always laid on the rug in front of the front door. This puts him far away from where my daughter and I usually are.

When I rearranged the furniture, I put that rug in front of our chairs. Now, when we are in our chairs, he can lay in front of us. He was distraught when he saw that the rug was moved. He paced back and forth looking at the new design, but he just wasn’t sure.

I watched him do this for quite a while. It doesn’t take much to entertain me.

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Then he got it. The room had changed, but the change had his best interests at heart.

When we make a change, it will most likely effect someone else in our life. I enjoy change, and my daughter has grown to enjoy it too. They can see it makes life better, but it’s up to them to embrace it or not. Mochee laid down on the rug, but watched the front door from afar.

Once I rearranged the living area, I kept on moving stuff. I rearranged artwork, moved accessories to a new spot, and found better uses for things I had that were not being used well.

Embrace it. Don’t let your life get stale. Keep things moving, and in good working order. Use everything God has given you to the best of your ability, enjoy the beauty.

 

Show Me Love

My daughter and I an amazing relationship.

She is my very best friend, and my hero. She just celebrated her one year anniversary, dating a guy that lives in Missouri. I’ve been sitting here pondering how she at 17, can have a better relationship than most adults.

Some things I see them do is they accept one another for who they are. Flaws and all. They also communicate constantly. If something is bothering her, no matter how trivial, she tells him, and they talk it through.

They have their own lives, but they make one another a priority in it. Her philosophy is, “Treat him the way I want to be treated in return.”

That has worked for us for years. My daughter and I never fight, and have not even raised our voices to one another. We treat one another the way we want to be treated. Children copy what they see. When the time came to leave her father, one of my reasons was, I didn’t want her to grow up and think what she saw was a healthy marriage.

I wanted her to see love.

They give true meaning to the word ‘relationship.’ It’s a work in progress. They are grounded within themselves, so they don’t look to one another for completion. They enjoy their lives, but being together makes life that much sweeter. Watching what they have is like seeing everything love is.

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In this pic, she is super made up. She is a natural beauty, and doesn’t need all this makeup, but it was prom, and they sent me this silly moment. They tried to make me feel included.

This boy is coming to visit on Wednesday. He has never visited us, so this is exciting! All those airline miles her father and I collected over the years came in handy. Her father has flown with her to see him once every 90 days. They are going to ACL is Austin, TX which is exciting enough, but the anticipation of seeing each other face to face is pretty intense.

She is beyond excited, and has it all planned. She is picking him up from the airport, and has an itinerary planned for each day he is here. She wants to show him the best in Texas, but what she may not know is, he’s going to be ecstatic just seeing her.

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Maybe you are reading this and thinking, “Oh, young love.” I am writing this and thinking, I want what they have. It can be like this at any age. When you love someone they should be an intimate part of your life, even if you’re not together. They call to hear one another’s voice, and rarely text. They write letters and mail them to each other.

Will they last? Only God knows that because He has her life planned. Even if they don’t, to be able to have such an amazing relationship at such a young age. What a gift! She has told me before, “I live in amazement of your daily life.”

Well my darling daughter, I get to live in amazement of you in yours. May God continue to bless you in all you do, and in who you love.