Barbie to Her

I have put off writing this because I’m still moving from the drive. I enjoy being in control, but when I ponder the past few weeks, there is no evidence of that. I wanted this month to be a time of reflection, but God had other plans.

I knew as soon as I saw her number come up on my phone. It was laying on my desk, next to my laptop, and I just stared at it while it was ringing. When I answered she was sobbing, and then I knew God had heard our plea for help.

Mama did not wake up that morning my sister conveyed. This had been a long ride for all, but especially my sister.

I loved my Mama. She was a kick butt, independent, strong minded woman that would hug the breath right outta ya.

Until she was diagnosed with Dementia. She labeled this piece for me to have because she knew she might not recall.

barbie

I didn’t know what to do. All I knew was I had to get to my sister and make sure she was okay. The airline wants you to pay them in gold bricks the month of December, so driving it was. From me to her was 20 hours of driving time, and I had not driven that far before.

My sister’s ex husband heard the news, and posted his condolences on my Facebook page. He referred to me as Barbie, so my friends probably wondered, ‘Who is Barbie?”

That was my nickname growing up.

My full name is Barbara, so I guess my family thought it was cute to shorten it to Barbie. They are the only ones that call me Barbie. People have tried after finding out about it, but it doesn’t sound right. It’s one of those things you respond to from a family member because it fits. I am not her today.

My family still sees me as little Barbie which is humorous to me. They have no interest in changing their vision; they don’t know I write, and have not read this Blog. The last thing they heard was I got a divorce which was almost 3 years ago. They don’t know Barbara.

I miss my Mama, but I have missed her for years.

She is in heaven completely healed, and I’ll always be Barbie to her.

 

Miss Her Mind

I grew up in a negative environment. My mother was a product of her Mother, but I chose to break that cycle as soon as possible. Mom took good care of us. She worked hard to provide what we needed, she loved us dearly, but she always had a little negative tilt. Sitting in Grandmother’s kitchen as a child, I watched her worry about things that hadn’t even happened yet.

person

Once I was on my own, people were placed in my path that spoke differently. They believed in positive outcomes and didn’t seem to worry unless there was something of concern. Happy people, that were on the road to success. If something negative came out of my mouth, someone would turn it around with something positive. They introduced me to tapes by Jim Rohn, Anthony Robbins, and books by Zig Ziglar.

By my mid twenties, my life and words had changed for the better. No longer did negative comments come from me. It literally made me cringe if I heard someone say something negative, and I found myself giving back what I had received. To this day, if someone says something negative, I will smile, and turn it around with a positive, to complete strangers.

Visiting my home state of North Carolina this week, brought this Blog into fruition. My daughter just turned 15, and has not had anything negative said to her in her lifetime. She has watched me encourage others, and has learned to do the same. If I can’t say something good, I don’t say anything at all.

Mom

We stayed at my Mother’s Condo last night. This framed cross stitch piece hangs in the hall bath. I took a picture to share with you, because my Mother doesn’t enjoy her Condo anymore. Three years ago she was diagnosed with Dementia. She lives in an assisted living home, and has no idea why, but I do.

I stood inside her closet this morning and looked through her clothes. Shoes were placed underneath to match every outfit. The white clothes were covered in plastic to keep them from dust. I miss my Mother…and I miss her mind.