One More Day

The words that come out of my daughter’s mouth during conversation is like visiting with Yoda.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Tomorrow is my birthday.

I rolled out of bed with the Rolodex of this year, flipping through my mind. What have I accomplished? Am I on target with my goals?

She knows I do this twice a year.

The day before my birthday, and December 31st.

This morning she said something that shifted my perspective back to ‘the now’. She said,

Tomorrow you will not be a whole year older. You will just be one more day.

Thank you my darling daughter.

Attitude Is Everything

The first house my daughter and I lived in didn’t have a washer and dryer. That was not a deal breaker, we were just excited about our new life.

Once a week we went to the Laundromat.

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Photo by Bianca Jordan on Unsplash

I had to make a choice to see this as a positive.

We lived in the country and the nearest Laundromat was 30 minutes away, but we learned a lot!

We valued clean clothes more than before since we didn’t have a washer/dryer readily available. We learned to include other errands along with the Laundromat. She would wash her clothes while visiting her father, and bring them home clean.

Of course my plan was to buy a used washer and dryer, but the laundry room in our home was tiny! It would only accommodate a small stackable unit and I knew I would not want to use that for years to come. The great thing about the Laundromat is you can wash and dry 6 loads of laundry in record time.

My daughter began growing weary of our trips to the Laundromat, but remained grateful. We believed our next house would have a washer and dryer, but that was dependent on our attitudes in the moment.  I believe you have to be happy where you are, before you can move forward.

After a year and a half of using the Laundromat, the next house we moved into had a washer and dryer. They weren’t new, but we loved them!

When we came to look at the house we live in now, the first thing both of us noticed was…

 

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A brand new washer and dryer!

Every journey has to start somewhere, and becomes more beautiful over time if we keep the right attitude. Yes lovey. xx Attitude is Everything.

Free to Be

My darling. This is the day you walked through with grace.

Last December, he ripped your heart out, and threw it away. It was so unexpected. Two years of your life, gone, just like that. No warning of the words he said. You crumbled to the floor, and I held you while you screamed.

He decided to take a road trip with a buddy to California. They drove through Texas, and stopped in Austin today. You have an appointment scheduled in Austin this afternoon. Were your hands shaking on the wheel while driving?

To add to the injury, he is posting on social media from the same places you shared together. I don’t know what he is thinking by doing that, but you are under impressed.

You wonder why you can’t hate him. Like that would be easier to do. Because you are my daughter. We carry no hate in our hearts, and we don’t let that word slide from our lips. You know the power of words. They are like seeds that take root. You will just slowly unlove him with more time.

When he left, we moved, and you finished high school.

You are enjoying the summer months, and making plans for the fall. You are trying to discover who you are now, and better yet, who you want to become. I’m so pleased by who you are, and am excited to see who you become, and what you do in this world. Two companies already see the greatness within, and asked you to be their Ambassador!

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Be our Ambassador photo.

Life may not make much sense today. It may feel like a cruel joke, but I’m watching you. He can’t hurt you anymore my love, and he’s only passing through. There’s that grace.

The pain people cause, is a reflection of the pain they are in. Let him post all he wants. There has to be a part of you that is happy not to be in those pictures anymore.

You know how you have your good days, and sad days?

This morning we sat on the front porch, and you wept while sharing this news. We talked about how tall the weeds are in our yard, and embraced them as our friends. I prepared myself for a sad day, but it hasn’t been a sad day at all.

Watching you today, you look like a Queen that has been set free. Yes darling, my Queen B, and you are free to be!

Welcome to Chillville

I’m not used to feeling this relaxed in the middle of the day!

My daughter just looked at me feeling all chill. My limbs are still feeling the stretches done on the mat this morning. My posture is on point, and I’m cradled in contentment.

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I fell in love with the practice of Yoga a few years ago.

It was not something I would have done if my daughter was little, but the first time we went to a Yoga class, she was a teenager. Being a single Mom, sometimes the only way to do something you want to do, is to take that child with you!

It’s good for them, and you. They get to see what makes your heart happy, even if it bores them to tears. They should want a Mom that takes care of herself, so she can take better care of them. At this moment, my daughter could ask for anything, and within reason, she would probably get it. (Except a puppy) I’m that freakin’ chill!

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This class is only available Sunday mornings, and the Yoga studio is right down the street. I’ve tried doing online Yoga, but I’m sorry, it doesn’t compare to an actual class. The vibe from being in the studio, with an instructor, and the other participants is rejuvenating, and healing within itself.

The class is called Chillville for a reason. It’s an hour and a half long, and you hold a pose for several minutes, sinking into the mat, watching your thoughts float by, until you’re completely present.  The first time I took this class, I was so fidgety, I was ready to leave about halfway through!

My body couldn’t be still because my mind was racing.

It was the most challenging Yoga class I’ve ever taken.

To stretch and hold the pose. Today, my mind eventually slowed down, and became in sync with my body! It took time, but I could feel myself becoming one with the mat. It was a magical moment, and I’m hooked on this class.

It’s was the best money I’ve spent in a very long time.

If you’re a single Mom, you look at every dollar before spending it. This class is the longest, and most expensive class the studio offers. It’s $13.00. The other classes during the week, are half that much. Do you invest in yourself?

My daughter was home this weekend, and not at her Dad’s. I invited her to come to the class with me, but she said, “Mom, that’s your thing, and you should go.” She chose to sleep in, and then planned to go to her fave coffee shop with her new book. We both did something good for ourselves, but the day is half over, and I’m still in Chillville.

Working From Home (SMS)

I walked into the bathroom, and there was the eye cream laying beside the sink. My daughter had left it for me, even though she normally takes it with her on the weekends. She knows I love that eye cream because it has shimmer in it, and it was a small, selfless act that showed great love.

My daughter returned home last weekend, and excitedly walked into her room. Normally, I spend the weekend doing small things all around the house to make our lives better, prettier, and more balanced. Her room might receive a new candle, or fresh flowers depending where I go that weekend. Last weekend, I stayed home and relaxed.

She said, “There is something different about my room, but I don’t know what it is.” Little does she know, I didn’t touch her room last weekend. It was exactly as she left it.

I’m working from home 7 days a week now, and it’s been an adjustment on many levels. We can still take time to care for one another, it’s just finding a balance. This weekend, I mopped the entire house, and you can feel the difference. I took the time to care for my daughter, even though she wasn’t here, but she will see it when she returns home.

I needed to strike a balance between work, and being present. The first week of the job, my daughter ran the errands, and figured out what was for dinner. She has enough to do, so this couldn’t last. This small act helped bring balance into our lives, and it was found in the kitchen!

How do you get away from the work when working from home? Step away, and walk into another room.

When I ran into an obstacle with a client, and needed to pause, I made cookies. By the time they went into the oven, God had revealed the solution. If the phone became quiet around 4:00, I started dinner. Choosing recipes I could walk away from if the phone rang. Some days, I let it go to voicemail, but returned the call after my break.

My daughter thanked me several times for cooking, and especially the cookies. She didn’t realize cooking was saving my sanity, and being therapeutic.

When she returns today, her sheets have been washed in the Tyler wash we have come to love. A candle is lit in her room, so it smells like home when she walks in. Just like leaving the eye cream for me to enjoy; taking the time to do small things for her, brings a smile to working from home.

Single Mom Syndrome

Money is a huge factor for a single Mom. We often stay in an unhealthy relationship for financial security. That is highly overrated. When you become unhappy enough, you will find a way out. Be ready to walk through some fire though.

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You let go of what you have, to get what you want.

My daughter and I had each other, and that was enough.

Her father is still a very materialistic person, but I let that shit go! We simplified when we left, and took only our favorite things. We had so much stuff to choose from, you couldn’t tell anyone had moved out. We still have those foundational pieces, but our tastes are changing.

Since moving into our new home, people said, “You need to download the Nextdoor app.” I took a look at it, but didn’t like how it showed your address. You can take your house number off, and it reveals only your street. Being a single Mom, try to protect our exact location. The app is a fun way to connect with neighbors, and buy/sell things.

We haven’t bought a piece of furniture in years, but I spent the weekend rearranging our living room. I read articles on ‘How to make the most of small spaces.” Oh yes lovely. The houses we’ve shared since, are less than 1,000 square feet.

A whole new level of togetherness.

When you move into a new home, you sit things where you think they belong. As you settle in, you make it a home. We have been here since January, so it’s time to fine tune it.

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Our new addition, and I’ve been staring at it for days.

I learned the hard way, don’t buy things to add to your life because you like it. It’s no longer just you, it’s all about us.

This piece already had some things going for it.

  1. It is my daughters favorite brand. (Threshold)
  2. It’s a good combination of both of us. She leans toward modern, and sleek. I enjoy wood for warmth.
  3. The price was $40, and it looks brand new.
  4. Finding it on Nextdoor, the local was nearby.

We went to go look at it together. I can tell by her face, if she likes something, or not. She liked it and said, “If it makes you happy, then get it!” It fit perfectly, and we both like it.

We are trying to decide what to sit on top. I’m thinking of framing some photographs she has on her phone.The drawers will remain empty for a while, but there is one for each of us. What would you display, and use it for?

Watch and Learn

My daughter said, “Wow! Why do you look so nice?”

Me: “It’s camouflage for the way I really feel today.”

She is used to seeing me in pajama pants until noon because I work from home. She has learned, “Put on an outfit that feels good, and the mood will catch up!” One of the best decisions I ever made was working from home.

I gave birth to this girl at 35, and was in ‘Success’ mode.

I placed an ad in the local newspaper for a Nanny, and began interviewing. The woman who stole our hearts, and became our Nanny was only there for a little while, but she is still a part of our lives to this day. She reads this Blog.

Monday, my daughter needed to drop her Jeep off for service. She called and asked if I could pick her up, and I happily agreed. We ran some errands while it was being serviced. At some point of getting in and out of the truck, she missed a call from the service center. She stopped to call them back, and here is what I overheard.

Her: Hello. This is (first name), (last name). I just missed a call from James? Is he available?

They handed the phone to James, and she sat and listened.

Once the conversation was complete, she thanked him for his time, and wished him a good day. Her Jeep was ready.

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I used to say those words. When she was little, my office had a secret door adjoining her bedroom. It never failed, she would come bursting through every time I was on the phone. She knew if she waited until I hung up the phone, she would have my full attention, so she waited close by.

That is what I did. Talked to people on the phone, helping them build a business. If I helped enough people be successful, my success would automatically come.

I surrounded myself with the Zig Ziglar’s of the world.

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I created scripts for people to use and learn phone skills.

Nowadays, people don’t answer the phone, and most of those calls are automated. Just now, my phone began ringing, and I glanced over not recognizing the number, so I didn’t answer it. They left a voicemail, so I listened to the beginning of it, and it was a recorded message, about a home based business opportunity. I hung up within seconds. People spending money on phone lists, and automation are missing out on the best part of the opportunity! The personal connection.

Building relationships, builds a business.

Listening to my daughter make that phone call, and handling herself so beautifully reminded me of all of those scripts. Not only was she watching, she was listening.

Doing life with this girl, has been my greatest success of all.