Let Me Settle

I cleaned off my desktop, and have only downloaded one new meme. I’m just enjoying the look of it, nice and clean with it’s Windows blue background.

I don’t know who needs this today, but feel that someone does. At first sight, it covered me in peace, so I want to share.

We’re barely into April, and I feel I’ve already let many relationships go. I become more and more particular about who I share my time with. People are showing their true selves quickly. Maybe that’s why it feels I’ve let go of so many.

There is one who doesn’t change.

He’s the same yesterday and today, and He’s not going to let me settle.

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The Disco Ball

I let it go years ago, but it came back into my life this Christmas. It was introduced in one of my very first posts in June of 2014 entitled, A Little Bit of Everything.

Releasing it from it’s hook attached to the old oak tree, only to discover it crawling with ants. They had began living inside the Disco Ball and made themselves at home, so I left it by the tree and stepped away.

It wasn’t easy to let go of. I thought about exterminating it and bringing it with us to our new home, but not everything travels from one journey to the next.

That was two houses and four years ago.

My daughter knew I loved that Disco Ball and she gave me a new one this Christmas. It’s not silver like the last one. This one is made of color. My life is more colorful now.

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It’s hanging out front and when the light hits it, colorful dots dance everywhere.

Why wasn’t it replaced before now?

We lived in the country, so there were trees. The disco ball isn’t expensive. It costs less than gas for my truck each week, but I believe it was the timing of it all.

What makes our heart happy doesn’t leave. It’s rooted there and waits. When the time is right, it’ll rise to the surface, even better and brighter than before.

Just like the Disco Ball.

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Keep Choosing You

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A Good Problem

Blogging is like having a public journal.

Blogging has worked, because I kept misplacing journals whenever we moved. Writing publicly is healing, and can help others heal, so yes, it’s like letting everyone read your journal.

I promised a friend I would write about this.

In August, I read a book by Melodie Beattie entitled, Make Miracles in Forty Days. You may be aware, I’m a huge Melody fan, and treasure all her books, but this one intrigued me. I believe in miracles, and believe I’m a walking miracle, so I read the book, and did what she said.

At first glance it seemed like another gratitude list exercise, but there’s a twist! You write what you’re grateful for, but you also write what you’re NOT grateful for.

On August 26th my writing began. At first it was habitual to list everything I was grateful for. Referring back to the book, I learned how to phrase things that were bothering me. Here are a few examples, along with their outcome.

You begin by writing, “I am grateful today that…”

My doctor wants to see me, even though I don’t know why. (The miracle is they were not alarmed by my mammogram and agreed to see me In Six Months

I have a dependable job, and get to work from home, even though I would like to make more money. (I was offered a new job)

I love my home, but would like for my daughter to live closer to town, her friends, and her father. (We are moving into a new home, near the lake, January 1st)

You get the idea. I’m grateful for a beautiful life, and this exercise helped open my heart, and mind for changes that needed to be made. The journaling continued longer than 40 days, because I still do it today. You can also do this with a friend via email. To just stay grateful, and let God work.

I don’t know how many more of God’s blessings I can take!

That is a good problem to have.

Show Me Love

My daughter and I an amazing relationship.

She is my very best friend, and my hero. She just celebrated her one year anniversary, dating a guy that lives in Missouri. I’ve been sitting here pondering how she at 17, can have a better relationship than most adults.

Some things I see them do is they accept one another for who they are. Flaws and all. They also communicate constantly. If something is bothering her, no matter how trivial, she tells him, and they talk it through.

They have their own lives, but they make one another a priority in it. Her philosophy is, “Treat him the way I want to be treated in return.”

That has worked for us for years. My daughter and I never fight, and have not even raised our voices to one another. We treat one another the way we want to be treated. Children copy what they see. When the time came to leave her father, one of my reasons was, I didn’t want her to grow up and think what she saw was a healthy marriage.

I wanted her to see love.

They give true meaning to the word ‘relationship.’ It’s a work in progress. They are grounded within themselves, so they don’t look to one another for completion. They enjoy their lives, but being together makes life that much sweeter. Watching what they have is like seeing everything love is.

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In this pic, she is super made up. She is a natural beauty, and doesn’t need all this makeup, but it was prom, and they sent me this silly moment. They tried to make me feel included.

This boy is coming to visit on Wednesday. He has never visited us, so this is exciting! All those airline miles her father and I collected over the years came in handy. Her father has flown with her to see him once every 90 days. They are going to ACL is Austin, TX which is exciting enough, but the anticipation of seeing each other face to face is pretty intense.

She is beyond excited, and has it all planned. She is picking him up from the airport, and has an itinerary planned for each day he is here. She wants to show him the best in Texas, but what she may not know is, he’s going to be ecstatic just seeing her.

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Maybe you are reading this and thinking, “Oh, young love.” I am writing this and thinking, I want what they have. It can be like this at any age. When you love someone they should be an intimate part of your life, even if you’re not together. They call to hear one another’s voice, and rarely text. They write letters and mail them to each other.

Will they last? Only God knows that because He has her life planned. Even if they don’t, to be able to have such an amazing relationship at such a young age. What a gift! She has told me before, “I live in amazement of your daily life.”

Well my darling daughter, I get to live in amazement of you in yours. May God continue to bless you in all you do, and in who you love.

What She Sees

My parents were not the ideal married couple, but they were good parents.  I don’t recall seeing them kiss passionately or hold one another in a timeless hug. It was a duty for them and after we were all grown, they divorced.

At 50 years old, my mother was free to be herself. She did just that and never remarried. I want more for my girl.

I read an article this morning about a 50 year marriage. The author wrote about her parents and the lessons she learned watching their love. Reading the article made me realize, that is all they did. They expressed their love to one another for a lifetime. When the man was asked to go out after work, he replied, “Why should I do that when I have everything I need at home?” How simply honest is that? You can click here, to read the article in it’s entirety.

I chose to break the cycle of my parents marriage. My ex husband and myself had grown up watching similar marriages by our parents, and the day he told me, “We are going to be our parents,” was the day I said, “Nope.” Hearing those words started a change in me that changed my life.

My daughter was 12 when I started praying for God to open a door. I refused for her to go through her teenage years seeing a broken marriage. My ex and I never showed any type of affection toward one another. We avoided being in the same room and the same bed. It was not a marriage.

God’s timing is always good. It took time and patience, but a door was opened for me to leave and take her with me. She just turned 16 this month and is becoming grounded in herself. She knows one day she will be able to share the love she has inside with the right person.

She won’t settle for just any kind of love.

Choose Happiness

Happiness is something you have to hold onto. Life happens fast, and circumstances can steal your joy. People will come into your life to steal your joy because they have none. We can share our joy with others, but don’t give it all away or allow it be taken. Life is 10% of what happens and the 90% is how we react. Hold on tight.

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Last week, I received a text from a friend I haven’t spoken with in a while. She was at one of our favorites stores and saw this sign. She sent me this pic and said, “Saw this today and it reminded me of you.” How sweet is that? I’m honored and delighted that she thought of me when she saw, “Choose Happiness.”

I was talking to another friend recently and listening to the problems she was facing in her life. They all stemmed from certain people she was allowing to be a part of her life. She probably saw a perplexed look on my face because I don’t have problems like that anymore. Why? Because I don’t allow people like that into my life anymore.

Set your standards high.

If you don’t like the way you are treated by some people then tell them. The setting of your standards and what you allow will attract those type people. Raise your standards and God will place people in your life to meet them. Continue to raise them and you’ll continually meet those people.

Don’t settle for the life you have now if you want one that is better. God promises that He has plans for us and they are more than we can even imagine or hope for. So, even the best life we can possibly imagine, God has more in store for us.

Going through the Letting Go process cleaned out a lot of stinking thinking and people. I expect from others what I expect from myself and my standards are high. This narrows the playing field, but I have a quality of life that is more than I could ever imagine or hope for. Choose happiness and surround yourself with everything it brings.