Feel the Music

It was in March of 2017 I posted the first Feel the Music. God probably put it on my heart before then, but that is when I obeyed. 🙂

A couple of weeks ago, I did some deep cleaning. You know those areas we walk by, look at and smirk? This particular area was behind the stereo. Jumbled up wires covered in dog hair. There comes a point you’re just tired of walking by it.

I borrowed some zip ties from my neighbor and unplugged all of the equipment. Then I heard a noise. The sub woofer was making a clicking sound, but didn’t think much of it.  I untangled each cord and folded it into an organized bundle. Zip tied it and plugged everything back in.

I pulled up a song that has really good bass.

I was a little concerned about the clicking noise, but I think what happened was, the sub woofer reset itself to factory settings. My daughter had changed the settings at some point and dialed back the bass. Well darlings, after that little clean up expedition, my house is thumping again!

You can most definitely feel the music.

The First Sentence

I opened a letter from the imaging center where I had my most recent mammogram. The words filled the entire page, but after that first sentence, I didn’t need to read anymore.

“We are pleased to inform you that the results of your recent breast imaging exam(s) show no signs of Breast Cancer.”

This last letter was the opposite of the first one I received exactly one year ago. The first letter told me the exam saw Cancer, and the last one said, “End of story.” There was a beginning, and an end, but my story is far from over.

Some of the journey is documented here, but who you see today is the woman on the other side. How did I survive? Through love, and God. That is also what you read about here.

demons

In the same way the first sentence of that letter caught my attention, so will the first sentence of a Blog. I’ve been reading a lot of Blogs recently, and they show me who I used to be. I’ve had the privilege of being a lot of what I read. The Entrepreneur, Motivational Speaker, Stepford Wife, Preacher/Teacher, and those roles helped create who I am today.

Even though I may not fully see her yet, I know where she’s been. I don’t write long Blogs, because after about 500 words, I lose interest, and imagine you would too.

Do you ever wonder why you’re here? I have been thinking about that a lot, and I don’t really know why. All I know is, God opened this door three years ago, and here I stand.

Seeing who you’re not anymore, helps you along the path of who you want to be.

Every circumstance has strengthened my character, and my relationship with God. Sitting here I am reminded of the first sentence of an Ed Sheeran song. “I gave all my oxygen to people that could breathe.” Been there, done that. Today, I can tell you how good it feels for my body to breathe.

 

How God Works

There is something about getting ready for bed, and purposefully not setting an alarm. I didn’t set my alarm lastnight, and my body woke up when it was ready. It was still early though.

My daughter is coming home today! She has been gone for a week. Her father took her to Denver, CO to see snow. I believe she saw some, and I’m sure she had fun, but she will be glad to be home.

I’ve been listening to Ed Sheeran’s new album, Divide, the entire time she’s been gone. It’s been a healing experience for me, and very nourishing. Listening to it has created a more peaceful space for her to walk into. Not that is wasn’t peaceful before, but now it’s more so.

I will run the vacuum, and go to the grocery store before she gets here. What used to be mundane chores, I look forward to them today. It’s the people I will meet while out doing what needs to be done. Stopping by a couple of my favorite shops along the way, maybe buying a candle, or some flowers, and spending time with the people that run the shops.

God has used me in the craziest instances while I’m out and about. Once, on my way out of the grocery store, I spotted a lady in front of me. She had a cart full of groceries, and was trying to safely maneuver it to her car, while talking on the phone. She sounded rather stressed, and said to the person on the phone, “I forgot Ziploc bags!”

I rarely buy Ziplock bags, but that day, I had bought two boxes. I swiftly pulled my cart along beside hers, and handed her a box of mine. She almost dropped her phone!

god

That is how God works. If we are attentive to what He places in front of us.

My to-do list today, looks much different from years ago. I don’t have things that ‘need’ to be done, or ‘have’ to be completed. I ‘want’ to run the vacuum. It brings me great joy when she walks in and says, “Gosh! The house smells so good!” Candles…lots of candles.

I’m going to one of my favorite shops for a candle. My friend is part owner of the shop, and has limited time. She’s trying to run her life, and help a friend through breast cancer. Her friend just had a double mastectomy!

People need replenishing. John 14:4 says, “But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”

Spending quiet time with God, and listening to music replenishes me. I have time, and my friend doesn’t. She may not have time to sit at the well, but I can bring the well to her.

Feel the Music

angel

Have you lost a loved one? What shape is your Angel?

I lost my Mom, but I couldn’t tell you the date. There is no anniversary of her passing in my mind. She is with me in my heart, but I think she would want to whoop my butt, if I allowed her passing to stop me from living my life.

My Mom was a piece of work. Don’t be sad because they’re gone. Be happy because they were there! My Mum is in heaven, and she may be sad seeing the state this world is in, but while I’m on this earth, I hope she’s saying, “Keep going Barbie.”

So I’ll sing Hallelujah, you were an angel in the shape of my mum
When I fell down you’d be there holding me up
Spread your wings as you go
And when God takes you back
He’ll say Hallelujah, you’re home

Repeat If Desired

I saw how much control I have over my life when I can’t even get my little dog to go outside and pee. It’s raining here, so when I open the door, he just looks outside, and then looks at me like, “Woman? Can you not see the sky is falling?!?” He’s sitting in his bed with his legs crossed.

Tea it is. I fixed a piping hot assortment of tea, in my press, and here I am.

My daughter is strumming her guitar in the next room, and singing along with Ed Sheeran, as she learns one of his new songs. His new album was released yesterday, but since we pre-ordered the album, she was able to download some of his songs beforehand. She is learning to play this one entitled, How Would You Feel, and it turns my heart into mush.

It’s been an emotion filled week, and Ed’s new album is not helping any!!!

In my last post, you will note that my daughter dyed my hair. She placed this special shampoo in the shower for me to use. It would over time brighten the color, and take some of the brassiness away. Reading the directions on the back of the bottle, I appreciated the words ‘Repeat if Desired’. I recalled what I had just written, and asked her to try it again.

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Don’t get excited. This is not me. This is the hair color we desire.

The color I have now, is about halfway to the point of this pic. My daughter saw that my hair was not taking in enough bleach lastnight, and asked if she could put on more. I said, ‘No.’ You know why? I got scared. Did I want that drastic of a change?

I like change, but I like to have breath in between. I saw a huge change in my hair color this morning, and I liked it. You can always add more of something, but it’s difficult to scrape that away. I played it safe, but now I’m ready to go for more.

I desire a certain result, or closer to it anyways, so bring on the bleach!. The worst thing that could happen is all my hair falls out, but I’ve been bald thanks to Chemo, so that doesn’t scare me. What scares me more, is not chasing after my desire.