Tag: #expectations

Keep Showing Up

The Done List is so much more than getting things done. It’s saying yes to your heart more. It’s when you hear that still small voice give a reminder of what’s good for you.

I have access to a morning meditation via zoom, every morning at 9:00 am. I’ve attended before, and it was nice, but there’s one issue. I’m in the wrong zone in more ways than one.

It’s at 9:00 am to accommodate various time zones. The man I work with lives in CA, so by 9:00 am, I’m already planning what to do for him, before his day begins. (He’s pacific time, and I’m central.)

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Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

I’m sitting quietly at the coffee table with coffee.

Looking up at the clock, it’s says 8:50 am, and I sense, “You should really sit in on that meditation.” All life really asks of us is to just show up. Otherwise, I’ll sit here and think of all the excuses not to, or put it off until tomorrow, so I joined in.

My Zen community is so peaceful, and serene, but I only lasted about 10 minutes. It’s just the wrong time of day for me to be fully present, but maybe I’ll get there. Disrupting patterns to make room for what the heart wants.

The heart knows even when we don’t.

I wrote it down on my done list, because I did the immediate thought. I listened to the heart, and followed through with no expected outcome. I was disappointed for a moment for not completing the mediation, but it’s progress, not perfection.

I was happy with myself for just showing up.

It’s uncertain if I’ll begin to thoroughly enjoy this 9:00 am community meditation, but I’m learning to live with the uncertainty. For what the heart wants, just keep showing up.

Rumpled Up Blanket

I am calling it a day with a cup of tea.

The house is clean, all but the floors, but I will take care of those in the morning. That is when you can see all the dust bunnies.

It was fun caring for the house today. Putting things back in place that we had left undone for a while. I didn’t rearrange one stick of furniture, but I feel my daughter will be blown away when she walks in.

I stripped her bed, and realized, she would want those same sheets. They are her favorite, even though they are plain white. They are one of her favorite brands, and they feel good, so in the washer they went. It wasn’t so much about the sheets, as it was the blanket.

As I wrote in Rule Breaker, about the candles, this blanket was also at Target.

My daughter ran down the clearance aisle to see if there were any treasures to be found. She gasped, and grabbed this one, lonely blanket laying on the end cap. I knew it was trouble by the way she scooped it up in her arms, and wrapped it around her like a cocoon. Her face was pure Bliss.

The blanket was made by another one of her favorite brands. The same designer who made her simplistic style bedroom furniture, made this blanket. She squealed that it was 75% off! This blanket gives you the feeling of sleeping in your favorite sweater.

She loved it for so many reasons, but I noticed it was ginormous. My daughter has this thing about her blankets not touching the floor when the bed is made. It’s a valid fear. Out here, we have scorpions, and she doesn’t want to hand them a ladder. This blanket hangs to the floor. I have never put clean sheets on a bed, and made it up to look like this before.

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By looking at it, you wouldn’t guess it has clean sheets!

Oh, I tried to fold the blanket in half, and make it suit my expectations, but it didn’t look right. I tried a couple of more ideas, but then had the pleasure of pulling it off the floor and leaving it rumpled. This is how she left it, so this is how she wants it.

I couldn’t bring myself to place my expectations of what a clean bed should look like on hers. If she’s happy, then I’m happy. Even with with this rumpled up blanket.

Different Is Good

When I’m at the lake, the coffee maker usually wakes me up. It’s set on a timer to start brewing, but this morning that didn’t happen.

I overslept because I forgot to add water.

This year has been so different. Not only walking through Breast Cancer, but my daughter and I were apart for Thanksgiving.

This was when having two separate lives showed up. She felt led to be with her father, and I wanted to be with Chef and his family. I missed her terribly, but it was nice cooking with Chef, and having Thanksgiving here.

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I have spent twenty something years cooking the entire Thanksgiving dinner myself. This year I was only responsible for two dishes. The dressing, and some sweet potatoes. Chef had everything else under control. We were going to cook the entire dinner for his family. It’s funny looking at it now, but I was so nervous about cooking the dressing!

His Mother has always made the dressing, and I was in charge of making something they had certain memories of. Keeping it Grandma’s Dressing recipe, all I could do was my very best. Thanksgiving morning, Mr. Smith went to his families home to put the turkey in the oven, and I started making my dressing. Why was I so nervous about making this one dish?

Meanwhile, my daughter had volunteered to cook Thanksgiving dinner for her Dad, and brother. She called me stressed out about cooking the ham. Being a mother, I just wanted to step in and help her, but I couldn’t. This was something she chose to do, and at 17 years old, I had faith that she could.

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She did all of this. I love the way she put the pottery I left behind to good use. This picture reflects what she saw over the years, and she duplicated it amazingly well at her young age. She make it look like Thanksgiving, even though we were apart.

The expectations we place on ourselves can be brutal.

My daughter and I both have a bit of perfectionism we struggle to let go of. The dressing turned out well, and we had a beautiful Thanksgiving. Chef did an amazing job in his Mother’s kitchen, pulling the entire meal together in record time. It’s incredible to watch him, and he only burned his fingers twice.

Maybe your holiday’s look different this year, but I am finding that different is good.

Letting go of expectations of myself, allows me to enjoy what’s in front of me instead.

 

Just Be Patient

I just pressed my third cup of coffee out of the Keurig, so you would think I would be feeling energized. It used to help wake me up, and give me a jolt in the mornings. Not so much anymore, so maybe it’s time for a change. I have stopped ‘doing’, and begun ‘letting’.

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I read an article this morning on having no expectations.

This one started out like most, but then it got my attention. Instead of expecting certain things out of life, the one you love, or yourself for that matter…Take the limits off God. I lay all my petitions before Him, so He knows my heart and desired outcome, but then I leave it there. I never know what to expect.

This opens up endless opportunity. As far as relationships go, here are a few things I’ve learned.

1. He Loves Me, But Should Love Himself First.

Does your partner take good care of themselves? The care they take of themselves, will be a reflection of how well they care for you. There should be a healthy balance of self care, and loving you.

2. His Love For Me.

This is where I had to lay all expectations aside. You have heard the saying, “Stop breaking your own heart?” That is what occurs when I expect to be loved at a certain level. Everyone loves differently, and we cannot compare past loves to the present. Those were stepping stones to prepare us for this. It’s not about lowering our expectations. It’s about being open to different.

3. He Encourages My Ideas and Creativity.

If anyone ever tells you, “That’s a stupid idea,” or better yet, “You are stupid.” you will need to hit them with a pipe. Creative ideas sound rather far fetched at first, but it’s that initial seed we plant. Saying it out loud to someone we trust, and value the opinion of, gets the ball rolling. You are not stupid….You are creative and open-minded. Stay that way.

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4. Let Them Love You.

This is where the expectations of your mind can get in the way. Allowing someone to love you the best way they know how, should be enough. Isaiah 55:8 says, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and My ways are not your ways.” That’s encouraging to me.

5. Let It Be Easy.

I love seeing posts from my friends, announcing 30 or so years of being married, and exclaiming, “Fight for your marriage.” There should be no fighting. If you each are doing the next right thing, making good choices for the greater good, it should flow. Yes, life will come at you with a vengeance and try to destroy what’s good, but there’s a choice.

When one is weak, the other is strong.

That’s just how it works. You hold one another up during the rough times. They always pass, and should make you better because of it. Be with someone that brings out the very best in you, and nudges you to become better.

Get good at waiting on God. He heard you, just be patient.

Time and Patience

I typed in the title for this Blog three days ago.

That is when God gave it to me. It has taken me until today for it to fully form in my heart.

I went over to my laptop desktop for a picture to use. I try and keep my desktop neat and somewhat clean, so I clicked on the oldest one there. The first one downloaded after the last cleanup. This one caught my eye a month ago.

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I am learning time takes patience, and patience takes time. This has been a big deal for me this year, coming from a woman that was once known as Ms. Ready, Fire, Aim. All year I’ve been waiting on God.

There are three things I wanted to learn about and grow myself into this year, and by His grace, I am still focused. Writing, teaching how to Let It Go, and encouraging others.

Has any of these three things happened in my timetable? No. Have they happened quickly? No. Have I felt like giving up and caving in? Yes.

When you keep your eyes on God, you cannot worry about tomorrow. To me, that is not trusting God, and thinking He is going to make a mistake. God doesn’t make mistakes, but we do.

I enjoy calling it, ‘Moments of minding my own business.’ When I least expect it, God will encourage me and let me know, I’m on the right path. He works through people to say, “You doing good Barb! Stay strong!” He will send someone to encourage me.

November is coming up quick, and am I where I want to be? I don’t think so, but God must have me right where He thinks I should be. It’s going to be His timing and my patience.

Someone You Love

I have people in my life who don’t like people. God wants us to love one another, so there’s a challenge here. My mission is to help the hurt. How do I listen to all the pain? I listen, but don’t take it with me. It’s not personal.

When it’s personal, I have the choice of allowing myself to be hurt, or letting it go. When people are hurt, they tend to hurt whoever is nearby. Past experiences have taught them a reliable outcome. Show them different.

When I allow someone to hurt me, my first response is to back away from them. Doing that would ensure I have a safe and calm life. To take the pain as a lesson learned, and move forward, even if it’s alone.

There is going to be pain and misunderstanding in any relationship. That is part of caring. The pain puts us at a crossroad, and I choose which way to go. Moving backwards has never served me well, so forward it is.

The good of the relationship needs to outweigh the bad. I have expectations for myself and those flow onto my relationships. I treat people the way I want to be treated. I’m not willing to lower my expectations to stay.

Let go of the pain in your life, even if it’s disguised as someone you love.

Choose Happiness

Happiness is something you have to hold onto. Life happens fast, and circumstances can steal your joy. People will come into your life to steal your joy because they have none. We can share our joy with others, but don’t give it all away or allow it be taken. Life is 10% of what happens and the 90% is how we react. Hold on tight.

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Last week, I received a text from a friend I haven’t spoken with in a while. She was at one of our favorites stores and saw this sign. She sent me this pic and said, “Saw this today and it reminded me of you.” How sweet is that? I’m honored and delighted that she thought of me when she saw, “Choose Happiness.”

I was talking to another friend recently and listening to the problems she was facing in her life. They all stemmed from certain people she was allowing to be a part of her life. She probably saw a perplexed look on my face because I don’t have problems like that anymore. Why? Because I don’t allow people like that into my life anymore.

Set your standards high.

If you don’t like the way you are treated by some people then tell them. The setting of your standards and what you allow will attract those type people. Raise your standards and God will place people in your life to meet them. Continue to raise them and you’ll continually meet those people.

Don’t settle for the life you have now if you want one that is better. God promises that He has plans for us and they are more than we can even imagine or hope for. So, even the best life we can possibly imagine, God has more in store for us.

Going through the Letting Go process cleaned out a lot of stinking thinking and people. I expect from others what I expect from myself and my standards are high. This narrows the playing field, but I have a quality of life that is more than I could ever imagine or hope for. Choose happiness and surround yourself with everything it brings.