More Perspective

I am calling it a day, and relaxing with a cup of tea. The house is clean, all but the floors, but I will take care of those in the morning. That is when you can see all the dust bunnies.

It was fun caring for the house today. Putting things back in place that we had left undone for a while. I didn’t rearrange one stick of furniture, but I feel my daughter will be blown away when she walks in. Heck….I’m excited about waking up and enjoying it over coffee!

I stripped her bed, and realized, she would want those same sheets. They are her favorite, even though they are plain white. They are one of her favorite brands, and they feel good, so in the washer they went. It wasn’t so much about the sheets, as it was the blanket.

As I wrote in Rule Breaker, about the candles, this blanket was also at Target. My daughter ran down the clearance aisle to see if there were any treasures to be found. She gasped, and grabbed this one, lonely blanket laying on the end cap. I knew it was trouble by the way she scooped it up in her arms, and wrapped it around her like a cocoon. Her face was pure Bliss.

The blanket was made by another one of her favorite brands. The same designer who made her simplistic style bedroom furniture, made this blanket. She squealed that it was 75% off! This blanket gives you the feeling of your favorite sweater, and you get to sleep in it!

She loved it for so many reasons, but I noticed it was ginormous. My daughter has this thing about her blankets not touching the floor when the bed is made. It’s a valid fear. Out here, we have scorpions, and she doesn’t want to hand them a ladder. This blanket hangs to the floor. I have never put clean sheets on a bed, and made it up to look like this before.

img_20170226_141009128_hdr

By looking at it, you wouldn’t guess it has clean sheets!

After giving the house so much care today, this just about drove me crazy. Oh, I tried to fold the blanket in half, and make it look more pristine, but it didn’t look right. I tried a couple of more ideas, but then had the pleasure of pulling it off the floor and leaving it rumpled. This is how she left it, so this is how she wants it. She wants to wrap up in it.

I couldn’t bring myself to place my expectations of what a clean bed should look like on hers. This is what makes her happy, and I will not box her in. It makes me happy that she will be happy with this rumpled up blanket. The rest of the house is in order, but blanky… You are gonna be loved just like this. I might have to close her door til she gets home.

me

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

Different Is Good

When I’m at the lake, the coffee maker usually wakes me up. It’s set on a timer to start brewing, but this morning that didn’t happen. I slept in because I forgot to add the water.

Chef saved the coffee by adding water. He had to go to work, so I put on my favorite CD at the moment, Jennifer Nettles, “Playing With Fire,” and enjoyed my coffee listening to her.

This year has been so different. Not only walking through Breast Cancer, but my daughter and I were apart for Thanksgiving. This was when having two separate lives showed up. She felt led to be with her father, and I wanted to be with Chef and his family. I missed her terribly, but it was nice cooking with Chef, and having Thanksgiving with my new family.

nothing-changes-quote-8280727989

I have spent twenty something years cooking the entire Thanksgiving dinner myself. This year I was only responsible for two dishes. The dressing, and some sweet potatoes. Mr. Smith, (Chef) had everything else under control. We were going to cook the entire dinner for his family. It’s funny looking at it now, but I was so nervous about cooking the dressing!

His Mother has always made the dressing, and I was in charge of making something they had certain memories of. Keeping it Grandma’s Dressing recipe, all I could do was my very best. Thanksgiving morning, Mr. Smith went to his families home to put the turkey in the oven, and I started making my dressing. Why was I so nervous about making this one dish?

Meanwhile, my daughter had volunteered to cook Thanksgiving dinner for her Dad, and brother. She called me stressed out about cooking the ham. Being a mother, I just wanted to step in and help her, but I couldn’t. This was something she chose to do, and at 17 years old, I had faith that she could. After the call, I had a good cry, and let it go. Later on she sent this.

img_11751

She did all of this. I love the way she put the pottery I left behind to good use. This picture reflects what she saw over the years, and she duplicated it amazingly well at her young age. She make it look like Thanksgiving, even though we were apart. I was filled with joy for her.

The expectations we place on ourselves can be brutal. My daughter and I both have a bit of perfectionism we struggle to let go of. The dressing turned out well, and we had a beautiful Thanksgiving. Chef did an amazing job in his Mother’s kitchen, pulling the entire meal together in record time. It’s incredible to watch him, and he only burned his fingers twice.

Maybe your holiday’s look different this year, but I am finding that different is good.

Letting go of expectations of myself, allows me to enjoy what’s in front of me instead.

mescarf (135x240)

Barbara is a God follower, a Writer, and Mom to her 17-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Part of her mission is to show people they can start over at 50. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

Stop Hurting Myself

I have people in my life who don’t like people. God wants us to love one another, so there’s a challenge here. My mission is to help the hurt. How do I listen to all the pain? I listen, but I don’t take it with me. It’s nothing personal.

When it is personal is when I have the choice of allowing myself to be hurt, or letting it go. When people are hurt, they tend to hurt whoever is nearby. Past experiences have taught them a reliable outcome. Show them different.

blog2There is a page on Facebook that I absolutely love. It feeds the thinker in me, which to most people is my greatest flaw. Thank you for feeding me The Minds Journal. This is a picture they posted this morning and I couldn’t stop staring at it. I have seen similar sayings, but the photo is so dramatic I had to share it here.

When I first got sober, the most difficult part was being able to feel everything. I didn’t have the alcohol to numb the pain anymore, so the feelings were intense. It has taken time to manage those emotions and I still don’t have it where it needs to be some days. I have been accused of being a cold b****, but I see the opposite.

When I allow someone to hurt me, my first response is to back away from them. Doing that would ensure I have a safe and somewhat boring life. It works better for me to take the pain as a lesson learned, and move forward, even if it’s alone.

There is going to be pain and misunderstanding in any relationship. That is part of caring. The pain puts a fork in the road and I choose which way to go on the path. Moving backwards has never served me well, so forward it is.

The good of the relationship needs to outweigh the bad. I have expectations for myself and those flow over into my relationships. I treat people the way I would like to be treated. I’m not willing to lower my expectations to stay. A wound cannot heal if you keep touching it. Let go of the pain in your life even if it’s disguised as a person you love.

 

blackandwhiteBarbara is a writer and loves being a Mom to her 16 year old daughter. It’s a dream come true for her to be a LetItgocoach and help others enjoy their lives. She hosts Workshops, does one on one Coaching and is working on her first book.  You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com