A Year

I went to see my Breast Surgeon this morning for a follow up visit. She said, “You look great! You cannot even tell you’ve been through an all out war!” All I could say was, “God is good.”

She always hands me a list of my next steps. She wants me to wait a few weeks, and have a mammogram, but let my breast heal from the radiation. She said, “If you wait one month, you will have your mammogram exactly a year from when you had that first one.”

The journey began around March 7, 2016. You can read about it here.

 

I had to stop Googling first thing. That will scare the crap outta ya. Instead, I found Blogs written by women walking a similar path. This one woman was ahead of me on the Cancer path, and she was a comfort. She gave an in-depth description of the Chemo I would be receiving fondly known as The Red Devil. She is a truth-teller, and that is all I needed.

The last Cancer post I read, was written by a woman that was nearing the end of her journey. She was looking forward to it being over and feeling that sense of elation. I thought I would feel that too, knowing that the worst is behind me. It has been different for me.

It’s like everything in my life is more vividly colored, more intense. I notice things now, that I had missed before. I am more in-tune to my heart, and listen to my body, and soul.

sacred

There is no rush, but I don’t want to miss a thing. It’s like, I was on this darkened path, but then gradually it became less dark, until I stepped out of the damp, darkness, into the light.

I have a myriad of feelings, but elation, “Whew! That’s over!”, hasn’t been one of them. This quote sums it up, “New Year, New Feels, New Chances, Same Dreams, Fresh Starts.

When I have my next mammogram, it will show nothing, which is better than something.

It’s been a year.

meBarbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

Badass or Stubborn

The pain in my breast woke me up early this morning. It was dark outside, but as I sat up to assess, there was light in my room coming from my phone. A friend was posting one encouraging post after another on Facebook. I just sat and read them, and then told her thank you. The encourager needed that encouragement. Even though I think I’m a badass.

**If you are confused by this post, please read yesterday’s Blog entitled, While I Wait.

Romans 8:18 says, “The pain that you’ve been feeling, can’t compare to the joy that’s coming.” I’m standing on that and many other promises today.

The pain wasn’t from the mass itself. It was from the biopsy. The doctor took 3 bites of the mass in two different places. Come on now darlin….I am a small frame girl, and I ain’t got much to begin with! My 16 year old daughter has bigger boobs than me. The procedure left bruising from the pressure of the instrument used. That sounds kinda like life itself.

God doesn’t put us in pain, however, I do believe He will use that pain to push us towards our destiny. Last October, I wrote a Blog entitled, Low Level Pain. I didn’t reveal it then, but my body was feeling a low level pain from that breast. Oh yes….The body knows everything we’re going through, and will speak to us if we’re willing to listen. I didn’t want to listen.

My pain increased over time. This is where the badass part comes in. I have a very high tolerance to pain. I can take it, and a rather large amount. It wasn’t until I had reached my limit, and couldn’t take it anymore, that things changed. I had to stop fighting and surrender to the pain. After that initial doctor visit, my pain was gone. Thank you Jesus.

Looking back it amazes me how I accommodated the pain. It took forever to get comfortable at night to go to sleep. Then to stay asleep was the trick. Toward the end I had to fall asleep propped up in a semi-sitting position, because it was better than laying down.

Am I a badass, or just stubborn?

I dunno….but the one thing I do know is I’m ready for less suffering and more glory to God.

Barbara is a writer, Entrepreneur and Mom to her 16-year-old daughter. She loves dipping cookies in her coffee in the morning and has a pretty healthy obsession for chocolate. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was what stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life today is an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

Falling In Love

I love to love. It hasn’t always been that way. When I didn’t feel loved, over a period of time, my heart hardened. Then came the fortress I built around me. God works through people, so when someone told me, “You’re a hard woman,” that got my attention. I didn’t want to be hard, so it was time to make some changes within. Let It Go.

Fall-in-love-love-processAs I sit here this morning, gazing out the window over the pond, I see Stork. He has been here everyday since we decided to move. Bay and I have been moving stuff over to the new house this week. This morning came the prayer, “Father God. If this is not your will. Stop me now!”

We have always called this home our Safe Haven. It will be two years in May that we left everything we knew and landed on these 40 acres. Today, we are following a path of new adventure. New beginnings. It’s terrifying, but at the same time, exhilarating. It feels like, we did good here, and are healed, whole and ready for bigger and better. We’re just following God and the process of packing everything up and moving one foot in front of the other.

Cannon RebelSL1 024Yesterday, as we were unloading our truck and walking everything into the new house, I paused and took note. Everything little thing was pretty, meant something to us, and had a place waiting in the new home. Opposed to the move two years ago, where we were sorting through a house full, trying to find the items we wished to take. We had gotten our lives down to only having things we love and wish to take with us on this new journey. Nothing will be left behind this go round.

Cannon RebelSL1 053I love this house. It’s a bittersweet morning Inbarbsworld. Today, we go pick up a new bed for the new house. Everything is new and we are just following the process. It is falling in place seamlessly like only God can do. We get to fall in love with every little piece of it, until we wake up one morning very soon in our new home. Glory to God.

 

Ya Gotsta Move It Move It

This week, I had not planned on getting organized to move. This little farm house has been our ‘Safe Haven’ for almost two years. Last December, I wrote out my goals for 2015. A new house was not on the page, but everything I listed was going to lead us to more. God knows your heart, and He knows when it’s time to move.

Quotes About Moving On 0013-15 2We have to let go of where we are, so God can move us to where He wants us to be. Bailey and I started talking about what our next house would look like. It would be a little bit larger, have a washer and dryer, a bathtub (we have a shower), and a fenced yard for Augustus, Bailey’s Blue Heeler pup. We would still be on acreage, because we love having land. Long gone are the days I look out my window and see another house.

Bailey found an ad for a little house on 5 acres about an hour away. Most every ad we had seen was out of our budget, but this one met our criteria. We drove out to meet the couple who owned it, and take a look. It was a beautiful, old farm house that had been restored to like new condition. The owner had put a lot of himself in that house to bring it up to what it is today.

We stepped through the little wood gate onto the lush, green lawn, and almost bumped our heads on the branch of a giant Oak Tree. (Disco Ball) The next thing I saw was a clothesline. I love hanging sheets outside! That wasn’t on my list, but it must have been on my heart. above

We walked in the back door and entered a large mud room. The man who rebuilt this house is a carpenter by trade, so he had filled this room with custom cabinetry! Underneath the cabinets stood, a washer and dryer. On into the kitchen were more custom cabinets and a sweet pantry. Looking into the main living area was a mass of hand rubbed, hardwood flooring. It didn’t surprise me much when we got to the bathroom and there sat a large tub. I was so overwhelmed with God’s goodness by then, it was like walking through a dream. eggs

God had this ready and waiting for us. Once we started talking about it and became willing, in a blink of the eye, everything fell into place seamlessly. The glory goes to God! We did nothing but ask, but it was already there waiting.

Bailey noticed something about the way the yard was fenced. It had a row from the side of the house to the fence of the yard. She said, “Chicken’s?!” I was stunned. There was a little wooden house already in place that would make the perfect coop. I used to raise chickens and it brought immense joy to my life. There is nothing better than to have a basket of colorful eggs in the kitchen everyday. God knows your heart.

 

 

 

A Better Way To Live~Day 6

This took a long time to learn.

Let your actions always speak for you, but be forever on guard against the terrible traps of false pride and conceit that can halt your progress. The next time you are tempted to boast, just place your fist in a full pail of water, and when you remove it, the hole remaining will give you a correct measure of your importance.

handandactionI’ve made a lot of promises throughout my life. After a trail of broken promises, words ring empty. Leading with the best intentions, until life get’s in the way. Nike has been saying it for years, “Just Do It”. It was time to stop saying and just do.

Instead of saying what I was going to do, if it’s within my power, I would just do it. When the person I did it for sees it’s been done, they are pleasantly surprised. Sometimes they don’t recall asking, it’s just something I remembered they wanted. It’s much better to do a task silently, and be thanked, than making empty promises.

I’ve also learned not to take credit for anything. All the glory goes to God, and trust me, that was a painful lesson. If something fabulous manifests through me, then it’s God working His will. I am only a vessel. Just do the next right thing, and God will do the rest. Lesson learned.