Tag: Glory to God

Left Feels Right

Sitting at the kitchen table Pandora echoes through the house. Pink and Chris Stapleton sing, Love Me Anyway, and my mind drifts into a dreamy state.

I haven’t been on WordPress much this summer and gratefully, my Blog hasn’t suffered during my absence. The stats remained steady, so God still led people here to read and follow. I smile and give Him a nod of acknowledgement for the millionth time, “Oh yeah…It’s not about me!”

I’m training my left hand to manipulate the wireless mouse connected to my laptop and it’s been interesting. Having used my right hand and index finger for decades, it’s deserving of a reprieve. The practice began by using a regular mouse with my left hand and switching sides of the laptop it resides on. Almost a week in and my hand is finally reaching automatically to the left instead of the right. It’s funny how fast our mind trains our body, but there’s ample opportunity to retrain it to suit where we are.

I’ve noticed the left hand glides more gently than the right hand ever did. Somewhere along the path, the right hand became about speed and clicking through whatever’s in front of me. The left hand is more steady, present while being watchful in the moment and will pause almost like it has more patience while offering a much lighter touch than my right. To celebrate this learning experience I purchased a mouse that can be utilized by the left hand or the right, but for now my darlings the left feels right.

Logitech Pebble Bluetooth Mouse M350 – Flora

Feel the Music

I went to a friends shop looking for a pair of jeans and found a pair that fit perfectly, but didn’t buy them. I said, “I’m church hopping and need a pair for church.” She was surprised by the words, ‘church hopping’ and neither of us were sure what church jeans were supposed to look like.

TobyMac dropped a new song and I’ve been thinking a lot about the goodness in my life. It was 7 years ago I was standing in a post office in small town Texas, when a man walked in whose presence engulfed the lobby. I asked, “How are you?”, and still remember what he looked like and the conviction in his voice as he spoke these words, “I’m blessed and highly favored.”

Not only did he say it, but he owned it, and I knew right then, I wanted to be able to respond like that.

Earlier this year at another friend’s shop, I saw this pillow and picked it up and held it every time I walked in. It’s a frivolous purchase, like I need one more pillow, but still remember it and how it made me smile. The original pillow sold, but a couple of weeks ago I was talking with my friend and mentioned that pillow. She offered to special order me a new one.

Kendall Designs

My daughter says it looks like I killed a Yak, but I see God’s favor.

When this post airs, I’ll be sitting in the same church for the second time and I’m treating it like a date, so let’s see if we make it to number three. Sometimes God’s goodness is tangible like this pillow, but it isn’t always so obvious. The true goodness in life is God Himself consistently showing up. Maybe I’ll practice saying, “Blessed and highly favored”, at church. That’ll reveal pretty quick if I’m at the right building.

TobyMac-The Goodness

Feel the Music

When someone newly sober asks how long I’ve been sober, it’s almost embarrassing to answer. I bow my head and mumble, “23 years”. They are shocked and ask, “How’d you do it?” I’m quick to admit, “It wasn’t me.”

I do know, if it wasn’t for sobriety, the life I live now wouldn’t exist. I’d most likely be dead. This has been one of those weeks where I see glimpses of my maker in every little thing. This morning I met an Artisan in a parking lot to look at her handmade, cloth bowls. I came home with one, but took note of her email address knowing she’d create specific ones in the future.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I’m walking through every door that crack opens toward that future. Just like meeting with an Artisan in a nearby parking lot.

I returned home, as my daughter was leaving the house and showed her the bowl. She knows my dream for the future, and sees me taking steps toward it. As I strolled down the hallway, shedding my jacket I shouted over one shoulder, “Look at us now”, thinking how far we’ve come, but I know better than that. It will forever be, “Look what you’ve done!”

Look What You’ve Done ~ Tasha Layton

Faith than Fear

To be a Badass woman, you gotta have a mentor. Another badass woman.

My friend sent me this meme this morning. It was in her FB memories, and I had tagged her on it two years ago. Today she returned it and it’s just what I needed to see.

blossoming

This is the same friend I meet for coffee when time allows. I wrote about her in Women Like Us. I aspire to be her level of badass. The words that jumped out at me this morning were, ‘more faith than fear.’

It’s as simple as that.

My daughter is home from England.

She flew there March 11th and three days later, all flights were canceled. It would have been easy to let fear creep in, but I’m too stubborn for that. My Mama was a badass woman and she raised one.

I had faith my daughter would return home eventually, but with each passing day I didn’t see any indication from the airlines. That is when my talks with God became more ‘high spirited’ and I laid all that fear at His feet. My fear was overcome by faith.

When my daughter’s text came in that said, “Virgin is still operational, I’ll be home tomorrow night.’, I burst into tears!

The tears were a combination of relief and joy. I knew God had heard me and He knew I couldn’t take much more. I reached out to my friend and asked her to ‘pray that girl home with me’, and she jumped on it. I’m grateful to all of you for praying.

Thank you my friend for reminding me to continue blossoming into a Badass woman with more faith than fear.

A Spiritual Awakening

I thank God every morning for waking me up and waking me up sober. He gave me my sobriety and I wouldn’t have the life I have today if I were still drinking. My daughter wouldn’t be here, and I’m not certain that I would be either.

You know me as Letitgocoach and that is what I am. Maybe what you don’t know is, my name is Barb H., and I am an alcoholic. For almost 17 years I have been walking into AA meetings and saying those words. I don’t go to meetings for myself anymore. Being blessed with sobriety for this long, I go to see how I can be of service to others.

My heart still breaks for the newcomer, as they sit there weeping. I cried at every meeting for 30 days when I began.

My story is not unlike anyone else’s.

I started out a social drinker and entertained my then husbands business professionals, so I didn’t have to leave home to drink. He bought cases of fine wine and my favorite part of the evening was the clean up. Pouring all the leftover wine into one massive wine glass and drinking it. That sounds pretty disgusting now, but back then it was normal. The things we do for a drink.

A part of my story you don’t hear much anymore is, I had a spiritual awakening. Yes, I heard God’s voice as He spoke to me. God answered my cry for help, and if that doesn’t sober you up, I don’t know what will.

It was obvious I was at the lowest part of my life. My husband of 10 years had given me an ultimatum. Get help, or I’m leaving with our son. My body was down to an unhealthy weight of 98 lbs, which is not good for a woman almost 5′ 9″.  I needed help, but didn’t know where to turn.

The next morning, I popped my son on the school bus, made my way up the steep driveway and into the house. It was cloudy and dark outside which suited me to leave the house dark as well. I poured some wine into a short Tupperware cup and climbed up the staircase in the two story foyer. I sat at the top of the stairs just staring off into space.

Then came the tears and frustration. The knowing I could not live like this anymore. I was in my early 30’s and had been drinking like this since my teens. I looked up at the palladium window at the top of the foyer. The clouds were rolling by and I could barely see any light. All I knew to do was cry out to God for help, so I cried, “God, help me”!!!

Looking at the bottom of the stairs, I see a light coming through the window, landing in the foyer and touching the bottom stair. It started coming up the stairs straight toward me as I sat there frozen. It went right over me, and I felt a warm hand pressing down on my shoulder.

Then I heard a deep, soothing voice in response to my cry. The voice said, “I will.” That was it.

Standing up and trying to walk was next. I was pretty well shaken, plus a little hungover, but walked into the office where we kept a phone book. Searching for AA meetings, I called a hot-line that helped guide me to the closest one. That day I walked into the first of many AA meetings.

God took my desire to drink completely away. I don’t struggle with thoughts of drinking. We even continued to entertain for years after I got sober. It wasn’t always fun, but I enjoyed the fact that I could entertain and be able to remember it the next day.

My marriage didn’t make it.

Drinking excessively during our dating on into our marriage, it makes sense, when you take away the alcohol, you wind up strangers.

We tried for 12 more years to make it work, but we were two different people. He couldn’t forget the past and I was in the present moment looking toward the future. He didn’t know what to do with a woman that didn’t drink, and I didn’t know either.

This is the past that brought me to where I am today. Letitgocoach is Barb H. and I’m a recovered alcoholic.

Nothing Left Behind

I love to love. It hasn’t always been that way. When I didn’t feel loved, over a period of time, my heart hardened. Then came the fortress I built around me. God works through people, so when someone told me, “You’re a hard woman,” that got my attention. I didn’t want to be hard, so it was time to make some changes within.

Fall-in-love-love-process

As I sit here this morning, gazing out the window over the pond, I see Stork. He has been here everyday since we decided to move. My daughter and I have been moving stuff over to the new house this week. This morning came the prayer, “Father God. If this is not your will. Stop me now!”

We have always called this home our Safe Haven. It will be two years in May that we left everything we knew and landed on these 40 acres. Today, we are following a path of another adventure, and new beginnings. It feels like we did good here, and are healed, whole, and ready for more. We’re just following God and the process of packing everything up, and moving one foot in front of the other.

Cannon RebelSL1 024

Yesterday, as we were unloading our truck and walking everything into the new house, I paused and took note. Everything little thing was pretty, meant something to us, and had a place waiting in the new home. Opposed to the move two years ago, where we were sorting through a house full, trying to find the items we wished to take. We had gotten our lives down to only having things we love and wish to take with us on this new journey. Nothing will be left behind this go round.

Cannon RebelSL1 053

I love this house. It’s a bittersweet morning Inbarbsworld. Today, we go pick up a new bed for the new house. Everything is new and we are just following the process. It is falling in place seamlessly like only God can do. We get to fall in love with every little piece of it, until we wake up one morning very soon in our new home. Glory to God.

Ya Gotsta Move It Move It

This little farm house has been our ‘Safe Haven’ for almost two years. Last December, I wrote out my goals for 2015. A new house was not on the page, but everything I listed was going to lead us to more. God knows your heart, and He knows when it’s time to move.

Quotes About Moving On 0013-15 2

We have to let go of where we are, so God can move us to where He wants us to be. Bailey and I started talking about what our next house would look like. It would be a little bit larger, have a washer and dryer, a bathtub (we have a shower), and a fenced yard for Augustus, Bailey’s Blue Heeler pup. We would still be on acreage, because we love having land. Long gone are the days I look out my window and see another house.

Bailey found an ad for a little house on 5 acres about an hour away. Most every ad we had seen was out of our budget, but this one met our criteria. We drove out to meet the couple who owned it, and take a look. It was a beautiful, old farm house that had been restored to like new condition. The owner had put a lot of himself in that house to bring it up to what it is today.

We stepped through the little wood gate onto the lush, green lawn, and almost bumped our heads on the branch of a giant Oak Tree. (Disco Ball) The next thing I saw was a clothesline. I love hanging sheets outside! That wasn’t on my list, but it must have been on my heart.

We walked in the back door and entered a large mud room. The man who rebuilt this house is a carpenter by trade, so he had filled this room with custom cabinetry! Underneath the cabinets stood, a washer and dryer. On into the kitchen were more custom cabinets and a sweet pantry. Looking into the main living area was a mass of hand rubbed, hardwood flooring. It didn’t surprise me much when we got to the bathroom and there sat a large tub. I was so overwhelmed with God’s goodness by then, it was like walking through a dream.

God had this ready and waiting for us. Once we started talking about it and became willing to move, everything fell into place seamlessly. The glory goes to God! We asked, but it was already there waiting.