Love Me Back

A member of Fearless Warrior reached out to me wanting to know my whole story. She had read the About page on my Blog and said, “There’s a gap between leaving your marriage and where you are now.”

I tried to summarize the woman she knows today on a Zoom. There’s over 800 published posts between where it began and what you’re reading now. With every click of the publish button, I left ‘that me’ on the page. Each new day brought a newer me, so I told her, “It’s all in the Blog.” Writing is my therapy.

About a week ago, I found this meme and it pretty much sums up my life. When we leave a broken marriage, unhealthy relationship, or anything that’s not suited for our needs, there’s going to be a gap. It’s up to us how we choose to fill the void.

The options are endless, but you know I like to keep things simple. Instead of pulling something or someone from the outside in, I poured what I already had on the inside out. When I chose everyday to love my life, one day life decided to turn around and love me right back.

One Happy Day

Whenever I make a Chemex it makes me smile in more ways than one. I was thinking of an exchange I had with my daughter and it still brings a grin to my face during the first pour. I had told her, “I need a timer to count the first pour”, to which she cutely replied, “You can’t count to 30?” I know, she needs to treat me better. 😂

Standing by the window, that’s what comes to mind while making the Chemex, but then I noticed a miracle in the making outside the window. There’s a bowl of water sitting at the edge of the pebbled walkway, and mind you it’s been sitting there all summer. It was placed there for the birds, but I’ve only seen squirrels drink from it, until today.

Isn’t it pretty?

The birds finally found it, and it was a thrilling moment for all! I thought it was funny how it’s been sitting there for months, but this was brand new to them. It reminded me of how God has everything already lined up and waiting for us to realize it. I used to think I spent a lot of time waiting on God, but in reality He was more than likely waiting on me. Just because we haven’t seen it yet, doesn’t mean it’s not there waiting. (faith)

Like this bowl of water. It’s been sitting there waiting for them all summer long, but once they found it, that became one happy day.

More to Say

It was March 30th when I posted The Grand Finale. Maybe you’re wondering, what happened to the grand finale, Barb? It obviously wasn’t all that grand. I returned a month later, on April 30th with the scattered words. Even though I wasn’t posting, I continued writing.

I took a 30 day break from Blogging, but then a decision had to be made. I received an email from WordPress reminding me my domain name was up for renewal. Recently, I spotted this written in a journal, “Make a decision and it’ll show you a direction.” I renewed my domain name and decided to continue Blogging for another year.

I don’t write when things go wrong, and this month there’s a list! Being a believer of ‘everything happens for a reason’, I wait and share the good that came from it.

Taking a break was good for the soul, and God showed me other ways to use my writing to encourage others. It’s alright to step away from doing what we love, and doing so gave me a renewed appreciation of being here. Guess what my darlings? I have more to say.

If you have anything nice to say, say it all.

To Step Away

I had to step away from my work.

We moved to a new online customer service platform last week, the second one since June, and there’s a lot to learn. I’ve also learned how and when to step away.

I read Stephen King’s Memoir, ‘On Writing.” He talks about how he always had a nook to write in. Underneath the stairway was one, but he does his best writing tucked away in a corner. He discourages writing out in the open and suggests going into a room, shutting the door and forbidding anyone to open it.

Well Stephen, I’m sorry, but that’s not me.

Photo by Andrea Davis on Pexels.com

I need an open, yet peaceful space for writing. I can see myself sitting outside once the weather cooperates.

Going off Stephen’s suggestion, I slid my desk into the corner of the room to do some serious writing, but here’s what evolved. It’s where I do my best work, but for my job. When I walk over to the desk I know it’s time to get serious about work, but writing is not work for me.

I don’t have a distracting environment. It’s peaceful for the most part, so I unplugged my laptop, took it off my desk and walked over to the kitchen table to write. Here I sit writing this post because this was a hard lesson to learn. I have to step away from work and take time for this Blog. It’s almost a need to take time for writing.

Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com

No one is going to do it for me, but if I’m not careful, I’ll get wrapped up in work and it will take away my writing.

I’m no Stephen King, but I fancy myself a writer. Life is a beautiful thing to be enjoyed, but writing can easily get knocked down the list. If it’s important it will take time and the path is long. Anything worthwhile doesn’t happen overnight, otherwise it’d be easy to succeed.

Thank you for meeting me here today. I’ll go back to work realizing writing may not feel like work, but it’s just as important as work. There are times my work can wait, but writing cannot, and it’s okay to step away.

Make Me Wait

I have not been good at waiting. Being patient and waiting are two different things. Patience reflects the good attitude during the wait. Without patience, I can bulldoze through and make things happen. Today, I choose to wait.

waiting

I like to wait 3 days before making a decision. If it has the ability to alter my path, I can wait. It took Jesus three days to rise from the dead. A lot can happen in three days! Waiting can grow tiresome and make me weary in well doing, but I must not faint.

I wait while writing every Blog.

God will show me a topic and I see the title. That always comes first, but it’s up to me and my patience in knowing what that title means. There are many avenues it could take. Choosing what I want to share is the hardest part. The page waits while I try to fill it.

To see how patient someone really is, sit them down in front of a computer with very slow Internet. Remember dial up?

I have learned less is more. A few weeks ago I thought the length of my Blog reflected the amount of words in my heart. Looking at this today, I realize it just took a lot of words to get around to what I really wanted to say. Weaving my way with words and edits.

It’s acceptable to make me wait.