The More I Learn, the Less I Know.

I’ve read more books this year, than three years combined.

I’m reading Melodie Beattie’s, Finding Your Way Home, for the second time. It made me desire for more people to have this level of self-awareness, and self-love. When I began this Blog, it was to show people that a beautiful life is attainable. That was my goal, so now that it’s achieved, what’s next?

I really don’t know, but I’m willing to be patient, and find out.

This year, I detached from Social Media. It was very difficult to do, but it’s done. Three times last week, I left the house without my phone. I didn’t turn the truck around to go get it, and had a beautiful time in town connecting with people.

I’ve become a part of the AA community again. Online is not the same as in person. You get to laugh, and hear others laugh, and that hug at the end of a meeting is irreplaceable.

Technology is helpful in the world, but it can’t replace the human touch.

I found it to be easier to post an encouraging Meme everyday, than to spend time sitting with an actual person.

Memes are not moments.

Every new beginning, starts with an ending. Are people willing to draw a line in the sand, and end the life they have to begin again? I don’t know. It takes grit and grace to do so.

The list is long of what I don’t know, but time reveals all. If you asked me, “How long does it take to attain a beautiful life?”, my initial answer would be, “Five years.” Thinking about it more in-depth, it took my whole life up to this point.

What a Savage!

My daughter has been at her Dad’s since Friday. Yesterday, we decided to meet up at one of our favorite coffee houses. Stepping outta my truck, she was walking across the parking lot towards me. I was in awe of her grace, and beauty.

Her hair was woven in this messy bun atop her head She was wearing a white, knit top, loose-fitting jeans, and comfortable looking heels. Wanting a picture of her, I handed her my phone, and asked her to snap one. Next time, I’ll be more specific, because this is what she did.

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She will be screaming that I shared this, but she knows her Mama. This is her ‘egg’ look she often sends to her best friend. Her bestie is Japanese, and has darker skin, so she is referred to as ‘brown egg’, and my daughter is ‘white egg’.

Their most obvious differences, yet they are besties. They speak to one another like savages, but they love one another. Her friend knows her true beauty. Her heart.

People see my daughter, and may think she knows she’s beautiful. The sad part is, my daughter doesn’t know it. No matter how often she hears it, she just laughs it off. Do you know what causes her to question herself?

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She compares herself to what she sees on Social Media.

So, she knows this. 2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2 NIV)

“The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life.” (Job 33:4)

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My daughter doesn’t need my preachin’. She knows my heart, so I pray for her instead. So one day she can do this.

“I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well.” (Psalm 139:14) Her soul needs to know.

We live together, so she hears some preachin’, and sometimes too much! Her new thing to say is, “It’s okay Mama. I still love you, just a little less!” Hah! What a savage!