The Act Itself

I’ve *challenged myself to be kind this year.

The hardest part so far is not knowing how the act of kindness was received, or if it was spotted at all.

It seems there’s more to it than the act itself.

I love my two neighbors! After Christmas, I left a note in one of their mailboxes wishing them a beautiful season. We are newly getting to know one another, and as you know, I Scare People!

Once I do these small acts, doubt sets in.

Was it the right mailbox? Will the mail lady see it has no postage and take it? Silly stuff!

I blew it big time yesterday. I left a small gift under the counter of a friends workplace who needed some kindness. I told her boss it was there, and to let her know. He was distracted at the time, so what did I do? Texted her to make sure she found it. 😦

I have to do this with zero expectation.

My neighbor got her note, and left one in my mailbox in return. The note was tied around a bar of candy. How did she know it was one of my favorites? She most likely had peace about it.

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Love, love, love!

So, even in this, I need to trust God more.

My Bible verse this morning was, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” -Proverbs 3:5-6

Coincidence? No way.

God is big into the finest of details. The note my neighbor left for me had a sticker on the back of the envelope. When I saw it, I just stopped and stared.

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The back of the envelope with sticker.

Yes Lord, it’s all about growth. Not the act itself.

*Credit for this challenge goes to Donna Cameron of A Year of Living Kindly.

Sow Some Seeds (Part 5)

Can you imagine if God handed us the book of our life?

We could see from start to finish what our lives would entail. What we would achieve, and when we would die? That would be awful! It would take the will to live out of life, and there would be no mystery to our path. God is big, and so are His plans Thankfully, He prepares us by giving a little each day.

Here are today’s seeds:

I will work convinced that nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. To do anything today that is truly worth doing, I must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in with gusto and scramble through as well as I can.

I will face the world with goals set for this day, but they will be attainable ones, not the vague, impossible variety declared by those who make a career of failure. I realize that you always try me a little first, to see what I would do with a lot.

I will never hide my talents. If I am silent, I am forgotten, if I do not advance, I will fall back. If I walk away from any challenge today, my self-esteem will be forever scarred, and if I cease to grow, even a little, I will become smaller. I reject the stationary position because it is always the beginning of the end.

When my daughter becomes discouraged about achieving a goal, I tell her, “If you want it badly enough, nothing can stop you.” It’s not easy, and if it was, everyone would do it. There is no failure. We learn in the midst of trying. If it looks hard, get excited! It’s the hard stuff that makes us better.

A challenge equals promotion, so give it a little wink, and walk right through it like the mighty warrior you were made to be.

Stand up Straight

I am still learning my way through plants.

The first thing I learned is, the care tags are not always accurate. Plants, just like humans, don’t have the same level of care. You have to watch, and see what they need.

This Asparagus Fern is a great example. Knowing it enjoyed part shade, I kept it out of direct sun, but then I noticed something. While sitting in the shade, the new growth seemed to be reaching, or stretching toward the light.

With the seasons changing, I sat it where it would receive more sun, but only for a few hours. Something else I’ve learned is, everything enjoys light, but not direct sunlight.

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Being in more light, the new growth is standing up straight.

This reminded me of a Meme I came across lastnight.

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I Planted Weeds

Earlier this week, I went to see my friend Stephanie.

She gave me the courage to try my hand at plants again.

I took one look at her wrought iron fencing, and fell in love.

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It’s a weed, but look at how delicate the greenery is. It has tiny red flowers that bloom in the shape of a trumpet. Walking into the shop, I found Stephanie and asked her about it. She said it comes up every year, but this was my first time seeing it. She saw the look in my eyes, and said, “Come on! Lemme get the water hose, and I’ll dig you some up!”

She gave me plenty to bring home and plant, and I planted it along the fence facing the bedroom windows. I am not sure how I went from nurturing and growing plants, to planting weeds, but I like it. To lay across my bed, and gaze out the window at it will be peaceful. It just needs to take root to grow. Her’s were growing under rocks, so they are tough.

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I’ve been reading Melody Beattie a lot lately. She is ahead of me on this journey of finding yourself, but we have similar hearts. Here are some of her words that resonated with me.

“Be still and know that I am God. Stillness is a place. Become familiar with stillness. Take time to learn it’s power.” Stillness is found when being still, and becoming present in that moment.

“Find a balance that is right for you.”

“Become sensitive to your needs.”

“Inhale, receive. Exhale, give back.”

“Clear resentments from your heart.”

“Learn to be calm.”

“All you have to do about your feelings is feel them.”

“Embrace each cycle of your life.” This is where she talks about aging. I agree with Melody, that when you hit 50, you begin the second half of your life. Let’s see what that looks like.

“The answers are in your heart. Go back~think~when was your heart it’s happiest? Go back to your heart. It will always lead you home.” Home is where the heart is. I’m going home.

This One Life

This morning I woke up and walked right by my phone. It’s laying on the table in another room. There are times during the day I lose track of it completely. It’s quiet, and so am I.

I saw a quote that said, “Technology was created to save us time.” I don’t know about you, but it was taking up most of my time. Now, the occasional glance at Social Media from my laptop is all the time it receives. I’m not isolating from the world, but I did step away from anything that wasn’t healthy for my heart. My heart is becoming more tender, and it’s growing in this environment, just like the plants. To have a tender heart, you have to hang around the tenderhearted.

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I was holding the final straw in many areas of my life. When it snapped, so did I. Knowing who I am, I drank my own medicine, and let go of everything and everybody.

My life is completely different today than a month ago. By stepping away from everything I was doing, allows God to show me what He wants done. I told myself I was encouraging people on social media for Him. There are plenty of people doing a great job at that, so God has more in store. Social Media is not going anywhere, so I left.

Choose how you spend your life, and who gets to join you.

God has given my daughter and me a simply beautiful life.

I’m present, and participating fully in the one around me.

What A Cock!

I am on a mission to uncover a more authentic me. The incomplete lessons I mentioned in Permission to Grow, are on my schedule for the weekend. I don’t think we need to hurry through any lesson because we miss out on the meaning. Is what you read here all of me, or only the parts of me I want you to see?

Maybe you don’t know of my love for chickens. This time of year farm supply stores have an abundance of baby chicks, bunnies, and ducks for Easter. The children love them, and my daughter was no different. The first time we stepped inside a farm supply store, she was 5 years old. Seeing all the babies, there was no way I could deny her a few baby chicks.

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What I thought I was buying for her, turned into a long time passion of mine.

For years I had chickens, and loved having fresh eggs everyday.

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Even eggs were pretty to me. I had chickens that laid a variety of colors. Some of my most healing moments were spent cleaning the chicken coop while listening to music. It was where I would escape to while building up the courage to leave my 25 year marriage. Being there brought me peace in the most difficult time of my life. Chickens got me through it.

They all brought me joy, but there was one that always followed me around. Her name was Reese. She knew my life was in turmoil, and she would show up throughout the day like she was checking on me. She wouldn’t come in the house, but she would get as close as she could. Here she is sitting in a planter by the front door. She laid her daily egg in that pot.

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Isn’t she beautiful? She was a Polish hen. I had to have at least one that wore a crown.

I say was because none of my chickens are with me anymore. I brought them with me to our new life on 40 acres, but we had possums that would come at night, and try to get into the coop.

I tried everything to keep them safe, and moved the coop closer to the house, by the back door, thinking a possum wouldn’t come that close to the house. One night we heard a ruckus outside, and I flung open the back door to see a possum inside the coop with Reese in it’s mouth. Trying to keep what I loved, had put them in danger. Reese died from my choice.

Me being the Redneck that I was, I yelled to my daughter, “Shoot it!!!” She ran and got her rifle and shot that possum right between the eyes. Both of us stood there and sobbed.

I won’t have anymore chickens. I won’t put another life in danger, for my happiness, including my own. I worried over those chickens every night, so the joy was already gone. I was now in ‘protection’ mode to see if I could keep them safe, because they were mine.

What did you think this Blog was going to be about when you saw the title?

I have a ginormous metal cock sitting in my front yard. It has brought joy to many people as they ride by. It reminds me of the joy I had with chickens, but it’s also the basis of many a joke. I am a lover of the manly kind too, and could write some things that would probably change your opinion of me. I am hoping to get to the root of why that bothers me.

Over the weekend, a group of bicyclist were coming up the road. I spotted them right when I stepped out on the front porch. They didn’t see me immediately, but they saw the cock. One of them yelled, “What a cock!”, and they all laughed. I thought it was hilarious, but one of them said, “And the lady heard us too.”

It struck me as odd, out of all the words he could have said, he chose the word, ‘lady.’ I am a lady, and wear it like a well weathered cloak at times. To get to the more authentic me, to discover who I am today, maybe I need to let go of some of that lady. The word that came to my mind when I heard, “What a cock”, was….Aspirations.

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me

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

Boxes

Boxes are a handy item to have on hand. We use them to store things that are precious to us, and organize our lives. Have you opened a box that was taped up and stored long ago? What did the contents look like inside? I have found that the items looked more worn out from being in the box, than they did before I put them in. Are boxes protection from life?

I was at Target after Christmas. I know you guys are thinking you need to do a Target intervention with me, but it’s all good. It was sitting there calling my name after radiation.

The Amaryllis. I used to buy one of these every year at Christmas. My daughter doesn’t remember having these. This was when she was a toddler, and we had a butt ton of money.

I spotted a box with the Amaryllis bulb, and pot, sitting on the clearance end cap. With it being January, it was drastically reduced in price, so I brought it home to show her.

Upon opening the box, I noticed the bulb was very dry, along with the roots. I didn’t know it’s story. How long had it been in the box? How many places was it shipped to before it landed at Target? How many hands touched it, and were they gentle, or rough with it?

My intention for this bulb was to give it love, and watch it grow.

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The picture you see is approximately two month’s worth of growth. Pretty sad huh?

My daughter found it humorous, and called it, ‘The flower that doesn’t want to bloom.’

Now, I thought her comment was hilarious, but it also made me think. What am I not giving this plant, for it to have everything it needs to bloom? I told her, “I know right? I’m afraid I will over water it, which I am good at, and I don’t want it to sit in a cesspool and die!!!”

I took the bulb out of it’s original box, and placed it in another one made by me.

So, I took a chance, and  started watering it. It’s sitting by a window on my desk, so I made sure to open the curtain early in the morning, so it would be kissed by the light. If it was a cloudy day, I would turn on the lamp beside it instead. I started caring for, and nurturing this plant three days ago, the same day my daughter left to visit her Dad. Here it is today!

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Them three days, and it wants to bloom.

It may not grow as tall as the Amaryllis I had in the past because of the shape it was in when I found it, but it has grown with what it had to work with. A lot like us. We grow by what we are given, but first the box must go. Otherwise, we shrivel up in darkness.

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me

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com