The What If’s

My daughter filled the crock pot with wonderfulness yesterday. I am not sure what all it has in it, but it’s true love in a mug. Some of it was Almond milk, Espresso, pumpkin puree, maple syrup, and fall spices. I saved what was left and placed it in the fridge. We don’t own a microwave, so there was something about heating it up in a small pan on the stove that placed me directly in happiness mode.

I took time this weekend to read some Blogs I follow.

For some reason it was like some of their words jumped off the screen at me. They gave me the strength to reopen my Patreon page. A few Bloggers that I follow use Patreon. One is Little Fears. Anyone that writes about Little Fears is brave in my mind. He is usually the first Blogger to ‘like’ my posts.

After working on my Patreon page, I sent the link to a friend. She said, “I will support you!” That is not what I was expecting. I just wanted her opinion about what it said, and how it looked. It warmed my heart to know that she would.

She asked, “What if each reader gave $1?” She also reminded me, “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.”

So, I scanned through some other Patreon pages, and found one that brings in over $5,000 a month. He has over 5,000 Patrons. Her philosophy worked for him, so what if?

Personally, I wouldn’t know what to do with that much money a month. I would be able to quit my job, write full-time, and publish a book. What if that happened? I would be happier than I already am. Am I fearful of being happier than I already am? Let’s keep moving forward, and find out.

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Everyday is Different

My daughter brought home a case of these yesterday.

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This is happiness. Butter and coffee. What is not to love?

Our dog was laying by her bedroom door today, while she was on the phone. She opened her door to step out, and he moved out of the way.  She asked, “Was Mochee laying by my door this whole time?” She was barefoot, and noticed the warmth of the hard wood floor where he had been laying. I love that she notices these small details of life.

Our landlord is burning brush in the field next to us, and all we can think about is wanting to roast marshmallows.

Now it is night, and I stepped out on the porch a few minutes ago. Living in the country, you always where shoes stepping out there at night. Every now and then you will find a Scorpion hanging out on the porch too. Our ginormous, white, barn cat is laying on the step. He will take down a Scorpion for the person who cares for him.

I feel more at ease with him laying there. We named this cat ‘Meh’. because he doesn’t fully meow, he just says, ‘Meh.’

Everyday is different, and I love that about our life.

At night before bed, my daughter and I talk about what we would like to accomplish the next day. It’s not set in stone. We stay flexible throughout the day, and let life flow. We make a plan, but also make adjustments where needed. If it’s that important, it will get done, but when it’s time.

I haven’t found anything more important than just spending time together, and making adjustments throughout the day for each other’s happiness.

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My Darling Daughter

This Blog began 4 years ago by a suggestion from my daughter. We had moved, and packing up in haste had caused me to lose track of my journals. My daughter said, “What goes on the Internet, stays on the Internet.” This will be here for her and her children, when I am no longer here. Which by God’s grace will not be for another 50 years.

My daughter has a happy Mom, and is quick to notice otherwise. She spent the younger years of her life seeing me unhappy. If I’m unhappy today. she is quick to say, “Is this what you left a 25 year marriage for?” Listen to the heart.

My darling daughter… I hope you always follow your heart.

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When Brett visited in 2017, and you drove him to this Milo field.

We laugh all the time. You have your favorite quotes by me written in your phone. CPS would have been here years ago if they read them. This is my favorite look on you. All natural, and with no makeup, You turned 18 last week, and believe this world doesn’t look your way unless you to look like this.

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Instagram famous.

I asked you to send me some birthday pics, and you sent these. Which girl looks happier? Release the happy one.

I have studied this picture of Brett and you. He is the love of your life right now, but years from now, will he still be? Will you be married, and have puppies instead of children?

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The cool kids.

Looking into your eyes, I can’t see you, but you are in there.

The authentic self is hanging on by a thread. Don’t wake up one year before your 50th birthday and decide to follow you heart. Let it lead and guide you down a path of happiness.

Ready to Bloom

healI was on my way to an AA meeting yesterday, and stopped by to see Stephanie. She is my plant Guru. I’m not sure she realizes the magnificent healing she has brought to my life through these plants she encouraged me to bring home. It was time to buy my first one that would bloom. I spotted a pot that made me smile, and the plant we chose is big!

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Yes. I blew my Saturday budget on a pot and plant. No regrets.

She told me it is a good plastic one, but it looked real!

On the way home, I stopped at a small Farmer’s Market.

There is something about people sitting in 100 degree heat, that deserve our attention. A young lady was sitting at a table filled with bottles of honey. We began talking, and she invited me to her church. I listened as she told me more.

What made my ears perk was a study they have on Wednesday nights. It’s by Beth Moore, entitled, “Believing God.” I did this study years ago, and it was enlightening.

Believing God is what I’ve been doing, but it would be nice to do the study again. She is going to text me a reminder, but I was standing there because of the label on her honey.

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Aren’t we supposed to Bee Love? I believe so.

As I was walking away she said, “I am looking for a mentor! A Godly woman I can model my life after.” I didn’t respond, but Wednesday night I will be at that study. I hear you God.

This journey  began with my daughter wanting Boston Ferns.

As I was leaving Stephanie’s, she said the main thing people ask her is how to grow a Boston Fern. The thought intimidated me too, but they are huge now! I told her about mine, and she said, “If you can grow a Boston Fern, you are the bomb!” All I did was care. I hugged Stephanie and said, “You make my life more beautiful.” She exclaimed, “That made my day!” She helped give me my beautiful life back.

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Double bloom Pink Hibiscus and Mochee.

God knows when we are ready to bloom. Can you feel it?.

Breaking Heart Strings

July has taught me what makes the heart happy, and sad.

Making up my bed this morning, and catching a glimpse of the Happiness sign, I stopped making it up, and changed the sheets. That made my heart happy. They will feel good tonight.

Detachment is a word commonly used in Letting Go. Today, I saw the word, ‘Unattached’, and that felt softer. Detachment always left me feeling cold, and that’s not me.

I imagined strings attached to my heart, and they would attach to another heart, or circumstance. Anything that made the heart happy. When something occurs that made the heart sad, a string would break, and fall away. Over time with repetition, the heart becomes unattached. What used to excite the heart doesn’t phase it now. The strings are gone.

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The Sad Shelf

When my daughter and I go to a garden center, we take a look at the sad shelf. This is the shelf of plants, drastically reduced in price from over-watering. They all look sad.

Maybe that is why I started caring for plants. If I could care for them properly, and give them a healthy environment, then I could do the same for me. The plants and I are growing.

The people traveling with us on our journey should add to our happiness. If we are not surrounded by happiness, it’s time to take a look at the people we allowed onto our path.

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There is a role for everyone we meet, but how healthy are they? How well they care for themselves, is how well they care for you. The sad shelf is not a pretty place to be.

Try It Again

I woke up this morning with purple hair. My daughter bleached it, and colored it purple. We went kinda light with the bleach, so it’s more of an orange, and lavender mass.

It doesn’t matter to me how many colors it is. Just a few months ago, I was bald, so I’m grateful just to have hair. My daughter had a blast doing it, and thanked me many times.

It was a moment between us that we won’t soon forget. Mainly because everytime she looks at me, or I walk by a mirror, the hair serves as a reminder of the moment. She is already studying the outcome, and saying what she would do different if she was to try it again.

I filled the coffee pot lastnight, and set it to automatically make the coffee this morning before I woke up. I do this sometimes while I wait for my daughter to get up and make me a pour over mug. I know how to make a pour over, but for some reason hers taste better.

I woke up before the coffee maker was set to go off, so I hit the button manually. Shortly, I heard it beep like it was ready but, it didn’t look ready. There was half as much liquid to the amount of water I poured in the night before. I lifted the lid to look at the basket of grounds, and they were flooded. The water had not properly drained through the basket into the pot.

I was half asleep when I walked into the kitchen, and paid no attention to the position of the pot. You have to engage the pot completely into the maker for it to work properly. There is a lever that the pot presses against to create a seamless flow. The pot wasn’t sitting where it was supposed to be to receive that continuous flow. Are we still talking about coffee?!?

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I could have settled for what the coffee maker gave me, which was not good coffee. Holding the pot up to the light revealed it was full of grounds. Did I want to pour into me coffee liquid, or grounds? I dumped that pot out, and made a fresh one that I would be happy with.

I thought, oh I can still drink it. “It’s not that bad”, or ‘It’ll be okay.” God is not in the ‘Okay’ bizness. Ephesians 3: 20-21 in the Message: 20-21 God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

I enjoyed my fresh pot of coffee, and my hair color is fun. It’s good to know when there is an area in my life that doesn’t bring me happiness, I get to try again. This time with God.

Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What A Cock!

I am on a mission to uncover a more authentic me. The incomplete lessons I mentioned in Permission to Grow, are on my schedule for the weekend. I don’t think we need to hurry through any lesson because we miss out on the meaning. Is what you read here all of me, or only the parts of me I want you to see?

Maybe you don’t know of my love for chickens. This time of year farm supply stores have an abundance of baby chicks, bunnies, and ducks for Easter. The children love them, and my daughter was no different. The first time we stepped inside a farm supply store, she was 5 years old. Seeing all the babies, there was no way I could deny her a few baby chicks.

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What I thought I was buying for her, turned into a long time passion of mine.

For years I had chickens, and loved having fresh eggs everyday.

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Even eggs were pretty to me. I had chickens that laid a variety of colors. Some of my most healing moments were spent cleaning the chicken coop while listening to music. It was where I would escape to while building up the courage to leave my 25 year marriage. Being there brought me peace in the most difficult time of my life. Chickens got me through it.

They all brought me joy, but there was one that always followed me around. Her name was Reese. She knew my life was in turmoil, and she would show up throughout the day like she was checking on me. She wouldn’t come in the house, but she would get as close as she could. Here she is sitting in a planter by the front door. She laid her daily egg in that pot.

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Isn’t she beautiful? She was a Polish hen. I had to have at least one that wore a crown.

I say was because none of my chickens are with me anymore. I brought them with me to our new life on 40 acres, but we had possums that would come at night, and try to get into the coop.

I tried everything to keep them safe, and moved the coop closer to the house, by the back door, thinking a possum wouldn’t come that close to the house. One night we heard a ruckus outside, and I flung open the back door to see a possum inside the coop with Reese in it’s mouth. Trying to keep what I loved, had put them in danger. Reese died from my choice.

Me being the Redneck that I was, I yelled to my daughter, “Shoot it!!!” She ran and got her rifle and shot that possum right between the eyes. Both of us stood there and sobbed.

I won’t have anymore chickens. I won’t put another life in danger, for my happiness, including my own. I worried over those chickens every night, so the joy was already gone. I was now in ‘protection’ mode to see if I could keep them safe, because they were mine.

What did you think this Blog was going to be about when you saw the title?

I have a ginormous metal cock sitting in my front yard. It has brought joy to many people as they ride by. It reminds me of the joy I had with chickens, but it’s also the basis of many a joke. I am a lover of the manly kind too, and could write some things that would probably change your opinion of me. I am hoping to get to the root of why that bothers me.

Over the weekend, a group of bicyclist were coming up the road. I spotted them right when I stepped out on the front porch. They didn’t see me immediately, but they saw the cock. One of them yelled, “What a cock!”, and they all laughed. I thought it was hilarious, but one of them said, “And the lady heard us too.”

It struck me as odd, out of all the words he could have said, he chose the word, ‘lady.’ I am a lady, and wear it like a well weathered cloak at times. To get to the more authentic me, to discover who I am today, maybe I need to let go of some of that lady. The word that came to my mind when I heard, “What a cock”, was….Aspirations.

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Barbara is a Writer, a Mom to her 17-year-old daughter, a recent Breast Cancer survivor, and she loves God. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com

Choose Your Mood

Thank you Seymour for being our Guest Blogger today. Enjoy!

wonderwomanYou ever have one of those days, weeks, months….lives….where you wake up just feeling like a grouch every morning?  Before you even get out of bed you are frustrated with the tasks of the day and feeling overwhelmed by the chaos of your schedule?  Haven’t made it to the coffee pot yet you just want to kick the dog and go back to bed and pull the covers over your head?  Well, good news, you are in great company.   Too many of us today experience this type of daily anguish.  We live at a break neck pace seldom taking time to regroup, refresh and rejuvenate ourselves.  All this leads to a chronic state of feeling out of sorts with the universe and makes us tired, troubled and frankly, quite irritable.

So, you’re thinking to yourself.…gee, that’s all true but it’s all well out of my control.  I challenge you to rethink that mind share and consider for a moment what your life would feel like if instead of waking feeling out of sorts with the world every day, you woke up and couldn’t wait to embrace the day.  The demands of your day haven’t changed yet you approach them with a vision seen through a totally different lens.  Just as a lens alters the convergence of light rays, as for magnification, or in correction of visual defects, you have the power to change the way you experience things and alter your mood.

Just like choosing what you are going to enjoy for breakfast, you are empowered to choose how your mind is going to control your day.  Happiness is, in fact, a choice.  One that is far too seldom selected by the vast majority of people but I challenge you to consider how your day would be altered if you subscribed to this philosophy for just one 24-hour period.  You owe it to yourself (not to mention those around you) to live with joy in your life.  Try it for just one day….make the commitment to yourself that regardless of your circumstances, you are going to approach each task with enthusiasm and the heartfelt pleasure that accompanies doing something well.

You’ll likely discover that your feel good state of mind is contagious and that those around you begin to notice your new approach to life and want some of it.  Imagine what it would be like to actually enjoy your daily activities and complete each day with a sense of fulfillment and completeness.  Pretty simple equation.  Change the viewing and you will change the doing.  You can do it.  Give it a go.

connieConnie is a novice writer after spending 40 years in Corporate America in Sales and Sales Leadership roles.  She loves encouraging people through the sharing of kindness and life’s experiences.  She is a Certified Coach through the International Coaching Federation and has spent her life mentoring those who wish to grow both professionally and personally.  She loves life, people, dogs and horses and volunteers as a rider/walker for disabled children who learn life skills through equestrian events.

Surviving The Storm

I have a bowl of candy corn sitting on the dining room table. When I wake up, I eventually make my way to that bowl and eat a piece. I don’t buy it year round, or stock up at the end of the season. It’s one of life’s little pleasures for me that I wait for and enjoy while it’s here.

As I’m typing this, the sky is just starting to get light. I sat outside in the porch swing this morning at 5 am. It was dark, quiet, and cold to me. That is how you know a new season is coming in Texas. You put on jeans and a flannel to sit outside, instead of shorts and a tank.

Even though it was dark, I knew it was a new day. In time, the sky would turn blue, and there would be color coming over the horizon. It won’t stay quiet because all God’s creatures will begin announcing the new day. I love sitting and listening to the quiet.

How do you know there is a new season coming over the horizon in your life?

You can feel it.

Just like the change in air temperature this morning on my skin, I can feel a new season is approaching. My last Chemo was a week ago, so thank God that is over. As I sat in the porch swing this morning, my mind was showing me snippets of myself from this year. There was a time not so long ago, the pain in my breast would wake me up and I would sit outside.

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Once I went to the doctor, and received my diagnosis of Breast Cancer, the pain subsided. There has been no more pain, but to get me to the doctor, God used pain. To get me on this path of healing, there was pain involved. Maybe you are going through something painful right now. Let me encourage you to surrender to that pain, and trust that God has a plan.

My mind showed me pictures of sitting in the Chemo chair. Sixteen times at least, and each time took three to five hours. There was one time, my body had an allergic reaction to one of the premeds. They had to unplug me from that, and give me meds for the reaction, and start all over again. That day I closed the place down, and sat in that chair for eight hours.

As you can imagine, the first lesson I learned was how to sit still. I’ve never been good at it. Oh, I could sit still if it was my choice, but to sit still with no choice was very hard for me.

After I came home full of Chemo, my body would just shut down. It would lay in bed for days, and not want to move. I had to tell it what to do. Drink water, and go pee. Sit up and eat something. Three days was as long as I could go without a shower. Just standing in the shower was a major feat. I had to teach my body every week what to do to stay on this path.

Now that the Chemo is over, my body can finish healing. It knows the drill by now, and is expecting to get hit with more Chemo after three weeks. I’m so excited to see how it feels to not get hit. To feel my body continue to heal, and start gaining the weight back that it lost. To feel strength come back into what used to be muscle. To stay out of bed more than in it.

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So, what about the heart? God showed me this week I have closed my heart off as to protect it. My body has been in survival mode for months, so it would seem, my heart followed suit.

Just like teaching my body that everything’s going to be okay, I had to tell my heart that this morning too. I could feel the hardness melt away, and it open up again. I can feel it beating.

The storm will cause us to hit the pause button on our life, and just try to survive. I am not the same person physically, mentally, or spiritually after Chemo. I believe I am better, and will continue to grow. We can either sit in the darkness, usually alone, or wait patiently for it to be light. Today I can feel the warm of the light not only on my skin, but also in my heart.

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Barbara is a God follower, a Writer, and Mom to her 17-year-old daughter. When she started this Blog in 2014 Letitgocoach was the name that stuck. She enjoys helping people Let Go of what is holding them back from having a beautiful life. Part of her mission is to show people they can start over at 50. Her life is beautiful, and an example of Letting Go and Letting God. You may connect with her via email. Letitgocoach@gmail.com