Tag: #havenofear

Question the Chemo

I am here to shed a positive light on Chemo.

Talk about a complete change of mindset. My initial reaction was sheer terror. God has shown me so many things through this, and the first thing was trust. I had to trust Him on this path, and that He was going to perform His miracle through this. I still believe that, but He shows me I have a part.

By placing my trust in God, I tend to not ask many questions. God always uses physical pain to grab my attention. He doesn’t put me in pain, let’s be clear, but if I am experiencing physical pain, He will use that for all it’s worth. Then it becomes a match of tug of war, but I eventually surrender.

Yesterday, was my seventh treatment.

I only have five more, and then I get a two week break before starting four treatments over a twelve week period. Lesson One. Don’t get too comfortable where you are. God doesn’t like complacency.


Yep, this is one of my favorite Memes. Yesterday, as I was curled up in the fetal position in my Chemo chair, I wasn’t feeling much like a Badass. The complete opposite actually.

Of course I waited to say anything, thinking my body was just overreacting. Listen to your body. By the time the nurse came over, all I could say was, “I don’t feel good.” Then I started sobbing. By then it was too late.

The insurance company had changed one of my premeds. I will call them today, and find out the reason, but I am thinking they found one to make more money on. My thighs started aching severely, but I tried to walk it out. Then, I couldn’t walk, because it felt like someone was stripping out the veins in my legs, and I began having severe abdominal cramps.

The nurse stopped the premed, and gave me saline to help flush it out. She also gave me an anti-nausea medicine, because I had been looking around for the nearest empty trashcan.

It was the premed, because once she stopped it, the pain ceased immediately. Then I just got pissed. How dare they change my meds without consulting me first? It never dawned on me to ask if I was getting the same medicines every week, but now I will ask questions.

That was yesterday, and today is a new day.

I feel fine, just a little worn out physically. Chemo can be a beautiful thing, so have no fear. They had me on the perfect dosage of meds, and I felt great! I actually felt better during Chemo, than I did before Chemo. I guess because it is fighting the bad guy and is winning. Have faith in God, but question man.

Beneath My Wings

Not a peaceful nights sleep lastnight.

Just couldn’t get comfortable, and as the hours ticked by, my appointment was closing in. Got up at 5:00 am, and remembered not to drink coffee.

That was the worst part. Doing without my coffee, but God is so good to me. I drank some water, and was wide awake. My daughter and I got ready, left the house, and arrived at the hospital on time. Everything was seamless and painless. Exactly how God wants it to be.

God’s word tell us, what we sow, we will reap. There is a season of sowing and a season of harvest. Lastnight, my phone was blowing up with beautiful souls, encouraging me.

eagleI might have been tired this morning, but I was filled with peace. I knew so many people were holding me up in prayer, and I could feel it. The procedure of the port placement for Chemo, was nothing at all. They wheeled me into the operating room, told me I would feel some stinging in my IV, and that’s the last thing I recall. I woke up in my hospital room.

The nurse came in to check on me, and I was ready to go. Like nothing had ever happened.

It was perfect. It was God answering your prayers. Thank you.

So, even though you come to my page for encouragement…every view fills my heart. YOU are the wind beneath my wings.